CHAPTER NINE

 

Madison was staring off into the branches, not seeing them. She was filled with guilt, bubbling up into her throat and nauseating her. She should never have left them. If she’d been here, she could have stopped Sophi from climbing down the tree. Sophi was likely dead because of her.

“Madison? Are you all right?”

“You should have let me stay! This is your fault!” The words were out before she could think about it, and she regretted them at once. Xar had been nothing but wonderful to her, and she could see how hard he was working to get his mating instincts under control, all to please her.

Instead of snapping back, he simply looked at her. This just made her feel even worse. What kind of terrible person lashed out at the one who had been their stalwart champion through life-altering events? She knew she was the worst.

“Stop it.”

Xar’s voice was gentle but firm. He scooped her up and carried her a short distance away from the others, setting her down on another wide branch.

“Stop what?” She didn’t meet his eyes, and he tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him.

“Stop thinking such thoughts about yourself.”

“So you can read my thoughts, now?”

“Just your expression. This is not your fault. If you need someone to blame, blame me. I took you away from here when you wanted to stay. I didn’t give you a choice. I am the one responsible for you not being here when Sophi decided to climb down.”

He probably thought that would make her feel better, but Madison felt her eyes filling with tears at the thought that he was willing to take her anger and scorn if it would simply mean she’d stop hurting.

Xar swiped her tears away, looking more agitated by the moment. Ever since they’d landed on Xenshar, he’d always known what she’d needed, but now, she was confounding him, and it was clear that he worried he didn’t know how to help her.

He hesitated for a moment, apparently thinking. Xar had never been indecisive, and he didn’t start now. He sat down on the branch, pulling her into his arms, holding her like a baby. Madison could feel the eyes of the other humans on her, but she ignored them, allowing Xar to hold her. She cuddled into him, soaking up his comfort in her moment of weakness.

“I want to join the search party. I want to help.”

Xar sighed. Madison untucked her head from his chest so that she could see him. He was looking worried again. When he spoke, it was slow and cautious, like he was choosing his wording very carefully.

“I know you want that. It is who you are. But you cannot. You remember the vriax we saw? They are vicious, strong and smart. You are still new to this planet. You are not yet able to travel as swiftly and surely as a Xenshi.”

Not yet was being overly optimistic as far as Madison was concerned, but she didn’t comment on it.

“You would only be a distraction. If the search party has to focus on protecting you, they will not be able to hunt for Sophi as effectively. The best thing you can do for her is wait here.”

Madison didn’t want to hear it, but she knew it was right. Xar had already shown that he’d protect her above all else. She didn’t know the rest of the clan very well, but she doubted they’d let anything happen to her either, even if she was in the way and compromising their purpose.

“I understand.”

It was all she could get out. Madison wanted to be strong for the others, but it was so hard when she’d never felt worse in her life. Xar’s arms came around her again, holding her to his chest. Too exhausted by the emotional strain even to cry, Madison leaned against him, staring without seeing.

“Madison, we could use some help over here.”

The others were looking at her strangely. She had to admit, not knowing what had passed between her and Xar these past few days, it must look strange, her accepting comfort so easily from an alien. The rest of the humans seemed to have grown used to them, but none of them had a connection like Madison and Xar did.

She tried to get up, but Xar’s arms tightened around her. “My mate is not well. Shanax, see to what the humans need.”

Shanax looked like he was about to protest, but at the look on Xar’s face, he quickly turned to see what was wrong.

“Xar, let me up, I can help.”

His jaw set as he got that mulish expression. “No. You are not well.”

“What are you talking about? I’m fine.”

Xar was looking at her like she was mad. “You are clearly not fine.”

Madison opened her mouth but closed it again. He was right, she wasn’t fine, but she was distraught, not injured. There was nothing wrong with her that would prevent her from helping out. She told him so. Now even Shanax and Rin were shooting Xar “is your mate crazy?” looks.

“You are not well.” Xar seemed to struggle for words. “Yes, you could move, but you should not until you are well. Let us help you.”

Perhaps it was different for Xenshi. They seemed to be viewing emotional distress on the same level as physical. Realizing he wasn’t going to let her go, Madison grudgingly settled back into Xar’s arms, thinking.

It was a novel view to her, but she had to admit, it made sense. There were too many people on Earth who dismissed emotional or psychological issues as unimportant compared to physical ones.

She had to admit, she didn’t really feel up to doing much. She was still struggling with guilt over Sophi. If there hadn’t been anyone else to help, it would have been different, but the Xenshi seemed to have things well in hand.

Not wanting the others to think she expected special treatment, she fixed Xar with a steely look. “Fine, for now, but you can’t keep me here forever. If the search party doesn’t get back soon, I’m going to help up here in whatever way I can.”

She recognized the torn expression that told her he was struggling with his instincts. Very reluctantly, he nodded.

It felt like a long time since she’d had the luxury of sitting still, staring off at nothing. The sounds of the forest that had been strange to her at first were already becoming familiar. Of course, that made her wonder what it would sound like if the vriax tore Sophi apart.

 

* * *

 

Xar worked to control his tense muscles. He itched to grab his mate and run through the trees with her, taking her far away from the situation that was upsetting her so much. He knew she wouldn’t welcome that, but restraining himself was getting harder by the second in the face of her misery.

She’d settled into his arms, but he could tell that her mind was still eating at her. It was his job to ensure his mate’s happiness, and he was failing at it. Knowing that he couldn’t fight with his instincts much longer, Xar turned her head up and spoke to her.

“This is not working. You are still unhappy. Tell me what I can do to make it better.”

She looked surprised, and Xar was ashamed that his actions had led her to expect he would not value her choice and opinion. He resolved to do better in the future.

Madison glanced at the other humans.

“Ignore them. Tell me what you need.”

“Can we… get out of here for a bit? Not far, maybe just a few trees over.”

Xar didn’t need asking twice. In a blink, he had Madison held securely. He jumped, swinging quickly to a place he knew. It was a tree he vaguely remembered his father taking him to as a pup when he was just learning to climb because of how broad and easy to navigate it was.

It took him some time to find it, but Madison’s reaction when he did was worth it. She gleefully lay down on the wide intersection of branches that formed a relatively flat spot sloping upward like a bowl so that she was unlikely to fall out.

“This is amazing! We should bring the others here. It’ll certainly be more comfortable than where they are now.”

“I don’t think it is safe to move Kaylee or Scarlett unless absolutely necessary, and it would be unwise to split the humans up.”

Her face fell, and Xar silently cursed himself for reminding her of her sorrow. He frantically cast around for something to distract her, but Madison found something first. She put her hand behind his neck and pulled his face close to hers.

Her kiss sent waves of pleasure through him. Xar wrapped all four arms around her and held her possessively as he opened his mouth to hers, devouring her. Madison broke off, gasping as he kissed her neck.

“Make me forget,” she whispered.

Xar hesitated. He wanted her more than almost anything else, but he did not want his first time with his mate to be a distraction. He wanted to savor it.

Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Madison caught his chin. “I want you, Xar. No matter what’s happening anywhere else, whether we’re here, or at the home trees, in danger or safe, I want you.”

Her words washed away his doubt in a hot wave of desire. Madison moaned as he swept her up in his arms and reverently laid her down again. He caressed his way across her tempting body, stirring her with touches. Then he leaned down and captured her mouth with his, pulling her into a deep kiss.

He could feel her heart pounding fast, but he knew it wasn’t fear. It was desire. He could scent her desire. He wanted nothing more than to sheath himself in her wet heat and drive her to the furthest heights of pleasure. He wanted her to think of nothing but him.

Reluctantly, he ended the kiss and returned his attention to the clothing stopping him from feeling and seeing her naked body. He slowly removed each piece of clothing, revealing more and more of her luscious skin. Soon she was naked before him. Xar had never seen anything more beautiful. His cock was straining urgently against his pants, and he couldn’t resist rubbing the bulge against her tight stomach so she knew how hard the sight of her made him.

Madison made an encouraging noise, half gasp and half moan, and she reached for his cock. He felt like he might explode at her touch.

She was tugging at his clothes, and he obliged her. The feeling of his naked cock pressing against her bare skin had Xar struggling to resist throwing her down and taking her right there.

Not yet. He had to use all his willpower to hold himself back. First, he must see to his mate’s pleasure.

Madison wrapped her legs around him, keeping him from escaping, as if he would ever want to. Xar kissed her deeply while he used his hands to explore her body. He took one breast in each, while another cupped her bottom. His fourth hand brushed over the curls between her legs. He could feel the heat coming off her, could smell her arousal and it was driving him mad with lust.

He started kissing his way down her neck, suckling at her skin as he focused on caressing her as thoroughly as possible, leaving no part of her to escape his attention. Her nipples were hard as he rolled them between his fingers, and her legs trembled with the effort of lifting her hips up to meet his searching hand.

Xar could take a hint and decided not to torment her…much. He pressed lightly on her mound, and Madison squirmed against him, pumping her hips, getting the friction she wanted. He circled tantalizingly around her clit, moving a hand from her sumptuous bottom to stroke her inner thighs, caressing her silken skin there.

Sliding his finger through her wet, hot folds was easy. She was slick and ready. Finally giving her the firm pressure she wanted, Xar pressed a finger to her clit.

Madison yelled something muffled as she bit into his shoulder. Xar hid his smile and licked her neck, tasting the faint salt of her sweat.

“I know what you need,” he murmured. He knew what would make her wild with pleasure, what would make her forget everything but him. He’d devote a lifetime to exploring her body.

He reached down, moving his finger in circles over her clit. He quickly picked up the pace as he used another hand to slide two fingers inside her. She was so wet and ready for him he had to grit his teeth to keep himself from stopping everything and simply plunging his cock into her over and over again. He curled his fingers along her upper channel in a counter rhythm to his other hand stimulating her clit. At the same time, he relentlessly worked her nipples, stroking and teasing the hard little nubs.

“Four… arms… oh!” Madison tossed her head from side to side, her eyes unfocused, her breathing short and choppy.

He wondered if he was overwhelming her with too much sensation. He didn’t want her to come too soon. He wanted to draw her pleasure out until she begged for release.

Xar tried taking his top two hands off her breasts, but Madison slapped her hands down on top of his, holding onto his touch.

“I…” she panted. She gritted her teeth, her eyes half-lidded with pleasure. “I… I don’t want you to stop. I’m so close.”

Hearing the pleasure in her shaking words heated his blood. Xar’s cock throbbed with a deep, needy ache. He had to pause for a moment, fighting for control. His Madison was close, he could tell by the noises she was making. As he circled her clit, he increased the speed of the two fingers curling inside her pussy. She bucked up against him, crying out his name as she came. Xar kept thrusting and circling until she went limp, her hair lying in strands across her face.

He stroked her sides and face, pressing gentle kisses all over her, learning her sensitive spots. She responded particularly well to a flick from his tongue behind her knee. He did it again, stroking every spot of skin he could find.

Her arousal scent was growing strong again.

“Xar… I want you inside me.”

He bit back a groan. He’d never wanted anything more. Mindful of the fact that he was a lot bigger than the males of her planet, he carefully parted her legs and pressed the tip of his cock at her entrance. Madison mumbled encouragement as she flexed her legs, pulling him in deeper.

Xar gritted his teeth, ordering himself harshly not to spill on the first thrust. He would see her come again before he had his release. He slowly pushed into her, and her reaction told him he wasn’t hurting her. Her eyes rolled up, and she uttered the sexiest breathy moan as he filled her. The muscles inside her fluttered around his cock, clamping tight and wet and hot around him. He couldn’t help a groan from escaping his lips. She felt so very good.

Xar started a steady rhythm, pumping slowly into his mate. He fully sheathed himself, then drew out again so that just the head of his cock was inside her before thrusting deep again.

She was trying to angle her hips upward, and he slipped a hand under her, squeezing her bottom as he lifted her up. Madison’s hands were roaming over his muscular chest, her touch feverish and urgent.

His need growing, Xar increased the speed, still holding her up with one arm at the angle that made her squeal with each thrust.

“Clit,” Madison moaned. His fingers found it at the same time as he took a nipple into his mouth. Madison cried out and bucked again, her second release seemingly stronger than the first. Her body went rigid as her orgasm ravaged her. Her pussy clenched around him. She was shuddering, crying out her pleasure.

Xar lost all control. No one could hold back when a mate gave herself completely to her pleasure—the sight of it, the feel of her pussy clenching on his cock was all too much to take.

He roared his pleasure and spilled his hot seed inside her. His cock thrust deep, spurting inside her heat, filling her. She took it willingly, holding tightly onto him as they rode the pleasure out together.

They came down slowly, panting hard. Xar rolled to the side, lying next to her so that he didn’t crush her. Madison looked into his eyes, and her gaze felt like it would stop his heart. Right then, no words were needed. He draped his arm over her as her breathing deepened.

Though it was still early, Madison’s eyes fluttered closed. She was exhausted. Xar watched her avidly, loving the little movements her face made when she slept, feeling he could watch her forever.

Nothing was more precious to him than his mate.