Unlike the rest of his team, Eric wasn’t enjoying his new quarters. They were spacious and more than comfortable, but he hadn’t slept a night on Astek station. He’d met a woman here, on the Drift, and she’d died here while he was away on a mission. He didn’t believe in ghosts, but for him, the station was haunted, which was why he spent his nights sleeping on the Malora instead.

They hadn’t known each other that well. In fact, he wondered if he’d known her at all. The laughing, sensual woman he’d spent a few passionate nights with seemed to have nothing in common with the person she’d turned out to be. That thought consumed him as much as the memories of their brief time together. Had she played him for a fool? Was any of it real?

She’d left him a message. An encrypted file marked with his name. He’d hoped it held answers, but all it contained was an audio file with a brief message. He’d committed her words to memory, but they didn’t bring him peace.

“I’m sorry, Eric. What we had was never meant to be. I was dead before we ever met. If I meant anything at all to you, save her. You’re the only one who can.”

He knew that the her she referred to was her batch sister. Another cyborg by the name of Nyx. That information had been left in another file, one given to the IAF to investigate.

He’d left them to do their jobs and buried himself in work, so he didn’t have to face the facts - he’d been an idiot who fell for a killer just because she seemed to be able to look past the implants and scars that marked him.

Since they’d arrived back at the station, he’d developed a routine. Every night, once the barracks got quiet, he’d take his gym bag and head to the ship. If anyone spotted him, he’d claim he was going to work out. In the morning, he’d head to the gym before arriving home again to grab a coffee, a shower, and start his day. If the others knew what he was doing they’d worry about him, and he didn’t want that. There wasn’t anything wrong, really. He just needed some time to figure shit out.

When he got to the ship, he set his hand down on the palm scanner and spoke the passphrase keyed to his voice. It wasn’t the standard one he used during normal hours, though. It was a code he’d programmed in himself. One that let him come and go from the ship without it showing on the log. It wasn’t regulation, and his commander would kick his ass if he ever found out about it, but it was small rebellions like this that made life interesting.

He walked onto the ship with a smile on his face, and promptly froze when he found

Lieutenant Commander Kurt Meyer was waiting for him inside in a fresh uniform and with a dour look on his face. “We need to talk, Erben.”

Fraxx. “Evening, sir.”

“It’s not evening anymore. It’s damned near the middle of the night. Care to explain why you’re not in your quarters?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Eric tried the usual excuse, but something told him Kurt wasn’t going to buy it.

Kurt shook his head. “And now I owe Rossi dinner. He bet me you’d say something like that. I figured you were smart enough to come clean right away.”

Eric wasn’t sure what stung more: the fact his commander had expected him to lie, or the look of disappointment on the lieutenant’s face. “You know I’ve been sleeping here, then.” It wasn’t a question.

“Come with me. If we’re going to have a heart to heart, we might as well do it in comfort.”

Eric fell in behind Kurt. “How much trouble am I in, sir?”

The lieutenant kept walking. “That depends on two things: why you keep sneaking onboard the ship every night, and if you lie to me again.”

“It wasn’t a total lie, sir.”

That made Kurt turn to look at him. “Hold that thought until we’re somewhere with chairs. I have a feeling we should both be sitting down for this.”

“Yes, sir.”

Kurt led them to one of the newer briefing rooms and sat down on one side of the table, then gestured for Eric to take a seat across from him. Eric’s ass barely hit the chair before Kurt leaned in. “Explain yourself.”

“I can’t sleep on the station, sir. I’ve tried.”

“So you’ve been coming here to sleep? That’s it? No extra curricular activities?”

“Just sleep.” He knew there wasn’t any point in lying to his XO. He shouldn’t have even tried. The man was a walking lie detector, trained to read micro-expressions and body language.

Kurt relaxed a little, the hard lines of his mouth softening. “Alright then. Why can’t you sleep?”

“It’s the station, sir. Every time we come back here, I remember…” he trailed off and raised his hands in a frustrated gesture.

Kurt nodded. “I thought that might be it. Being on the Malora makes it easier?”

“It does.”

“How long do you plan on doing this?”

“I don’t know, sir. How long are you and the commander willing to let me?”

“If you need some time, you’ve got it. But from now on, you’ll use your normal access code. You and I are going to disable the other one before I leave tonight. Do that again and there will be hell to pay. Clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

Kurt relaxed and leaned back in his chair. “Now that the official ass-chewing is over, I want to talk to you as a friend. You can’t keep running from your demons forever. It doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve tried. Eventually, you have to face them.”

Everyone on the team knew Kurt had lost someone he cared about. He didn’t talk about it at all, and the only one who knew the details was Rossi. Despite his unending curiosity, Eric hadn’t gone looking for the story. “I keep thinking if I put it off, it might hurt less when I find out the truth.”

“It won’t help. In fact, it just prolongs the suffering. If I could go back, I’d tell myself to stop running. I can’t do that, but I can give you the advice. It’s going to suck either way, so why prolong your suffering?”

“Anyone tell you that you’re lousy at giving pep talks?”

“It’s been mentioned.” Kurt shrugged. “If you wanted hugs and sympathy, you would have let Trin or Trip know what was going on. You didn’t, so…”

“You’re right, I didn’t want sympathy.” He grinned and opened his arms to his XO. “You sure I don’t get a hug, though?”

Kurt snorted and got to his feet. “Not fraxxing likely.” He did circle the table to stand at Eric’s side and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Figure your shit out, Magi. If you need help doing that, you know where to find me.”

“I will.” Eric slapped his friend’s hand. “Thanks.”

After Eric removed his extra access code from the system, Kurt left the ship. Eric considered going with him, but he wasn’t ready, yet.

He went to his work area, settled into his chair, and jacked into the system. If he was going to do this, he would do it in the one place he truly felt at home - cyberspace. He soared through the realm, revelling in the flows of data, the sense of connection, the limitless freedom of cyberspace.

He went to the digital fortress he’d created for himself and retrieved the files he needed. A copy of all the information she’d left for the IAF. Phaedra, a friend and fellow cyber-jockey, had given it to him. He hadn’t looked at any of it until now. Kurt was right. It was time he faced his demons, and that meant finding Nyx.