DINNER CONCLUDED, AND the men and women separated, as was the custom. Sam stopped Rayne before he moved into the library and pulled her into an alcove in the hallway. “Are you all right?”
Rayne nodded. “Yes, fine. I just miss Shaye and had a moment as I watched your friends around the table.”
Sam stroked her cheek and smiled gently. “They’re your friends as well, Angel.”
“They’re just not Shaye.”
“They could be if you gave them a chance.”
“No one will be Shaye,” she ground out through gritted teeth.
“All right. I’ll stop trying to convince you.”
“You learn quickly.” She shot him a defiant look over her shoulder as she made her way to the parlor and was rewarded with his chuckle. As she arrived in the foyer she ran into Charity, who was pacing the floor.
“Charity? Are you okay?”
Charity paused. “Yes. Sorry. Jamie went to find Richard since he didn’t make it for dinner.”
“Oh.” Rayne lowered her voice. “Do you know if there’s a ladies’ room, or should I go to my own?”
“Your room would be the most private.” Charity smiled. “I need a moment as well, actually. I’ll walk upstairs with you.”
“Thanks.”
The girls started up the stairs just as the front door opened. A tall man with sandy-blond hair and a full beard followed Jamie through the door.
“Richard!” Charity rushed toward him.
“Char? What are you doing here?” Despite his obvious shock, Richard caught her firmly as she threw herself into his arms.
“Where have you been?” Charity accused. “We were expecting you for dinner.”
His deep-set brown eyes crinkled as he grinned. “We have a mare ready to drop a foal.”
“That’s not normal for this time of year.”
Richard nodded. “You’re right, it’s not. What are you doing here, sweetheart?”
“And the beard?” she asked as she rubbed his cheek.
Richard chuckled. “Why shave when, without you, there’s no one here to kiss?”
She giggled and kissed him quickly. “Good answer.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to answer my question?”
“I missed you.”
“Did you come with Emma?”
“We’ll talk later.” Charity looked at Rayne quickly and then tried to change the subject. “I need to show Rayne to her room. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be down shortly.”
Richard squeezed her hand. “I’d like to go home and clean up, sweetheart, but I’ll return quickly.”
Charity raised her finger and waggled it. “You have fifteen minutes.”
Richard laughed and kissed her again. “I’ve missed you.”
“I have missed you also.” She patted his chest. “Hurry back, please.”
“I will.”
Charity led Rayne up the stairs as Richard dashed out the front door.
“What will he say when he finds out you came alone?” Rayne asked as she followed Charity down the hall.
“I’m not going to say a thing. He’ll have forgotten all about it by the time he gets back. Especially once I get him kissing me.”
Rayne smiled and walked into her bedroom. She took the time she needed to freshen up and then let herself back into the hallway. Charity joined her to walk downstairs. The front door opened just as they stepped into the foyer. Richard entered, cleanly shaven and smiling.
Charity gave a squeal and clapped. “That’s much better. Although, I love you regardless of what you look like, but this is definitely better.”
Richard chuckled and kissed her hand.
“Richard, this is Rayne Green.”
Rayne shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you as well, Miss Green. Did you travel with Charity and Emma?”
Charity let out a little choking sound and Rayne stuttered, “Um—”
Richard growled. “Charity?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
Richard faced Charity. “You didn’t travel with Emma and Rayne, did you?”
Charity dropped her head. “Not technically, no.”
“Did you travel with someone else?”
She nodded. “Of course I did.”
“Who?” he asked, obviously suspicious.
“The other passengers.”
“Excuse us, Miss Green.” He pulled Charity out the front door.
Before it closed, he started to yell and she gave it right back. Rayne didn’t quite know what to do. Sam rushed into the foyer. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“Richard just found out Charity traveled here alone,” Rayne whispered.
“Ah. All right. Come with me.” He held his hand out to her. “We’ve combined in the parlor.”
“I was kind of enjoying the show.”
Sam smirked at her. “If you don’t come with me, I’ll have to steal you away and lock you in the library with me.”
She cocked her head. “That has its merits.”
“Don’t tempt me, Angel.”
Rayne grunted, but took his hand and let him lead her into the parlor.
“Rayne!” Emma called as she walked in the door. “Come and sing with Sophie.”
“Yes! Please. Save me.” Sophie motioned for her to join her.
Rayne chuckled and looked at Sam. He raised her hand to his lips. “I’d love to hear it.”
Rayne made her way over to the pianoforte. “What do you want to sing?”
“What can you play?” Sophie frowned. “I don’t know any of your songs, I’m afraid.”
“No problem.” Rayne sat behind the piano. “How about ‘Lights’?”
“Journey?” Sophie whispered.
“Yes.”
“I don’t know if that would be a good idea,” Sophie argued. “I’d hate to steal it from the future.”
Rayne bit her lip. “Who here would ever repeat it?”
Sophie glanced around the room. “You’re right. Plus, I love that song.”
“Me too.” Rayne sat at the piano bench. “Ready?”
Sophie nodded and Rayne began to play. The group went silent as the girls slid into perfect harmony. The song ended, but they held the last note out a cappella and everyone started to clap, Emma the loudest.
“That was unreal! Do another! Please?” she begged.
Sophie laughed and turned to Rayne. “Up for it?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“Okay, I want Jamie to join us,” Sophie whispered. “Do you know any other Journey?”
Rayne nodded. “I do.”
Sophie waved to her husband. “Jamie, come join us, please.”
He raised an eyebrow at her but went and stood beside her. Rayne began to play and Jamie opened the song. Sophie came in on the second verse and then Rayne followed on the chorus.
Rayne couldn’t remember a time when she’d had as much fun singing. She had always enjoyed being on stage, but this was different somehow. This was fulfilling. She realized that being onstage was no longer something she did just for her. Her passion had been turned into something for others. It wasn’t just for her anymore. It was for the people who relied on her for work, the label that expected her to sell more and more units each year, and her fans, who ultimately were why she was so successful.
The song ended and Rayne suddenly felt like she might explode. She smiled tightly, excused herself, and walked quickly from the room. She needed air. She stepped out onto the porch and gripped the railing.
What am I doing here?
Her mind was in turmoil with all of the questions running through it. She jumped when she felt the warmth of a jacket being placed over her shoulders and strong arms wrapping around her waist.
“Are you all right?” Sam whispered in her ear. Rayne nodded. He turned her around and gently wiped a tear away with his thumb. “What’s amiss, Angel?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’ve always thought my life at home was everything I ever wanted.”
“And now?”
Rayne bit her lip. “Now I think it might have been lacking somehow.”
“How so?”
She dropped her head and tried to explain. “I started singing because I loved it, but it’s changed. Being in there, singing with Sophie… it’s different.”
He smiled gently and swept her hair from her forehead. “How so?”
“Sometimes I feel like I have to sing. I still love it, but it’s an obligation, too. If I stop, a lot of people will be affected.” She burst into tears. “I don’t know what to do now, Sam. I can’t live here. I don’t know how.”
“Angel, you’re doing very well, so far.” He pulled her close and stroked her back as she cried into his chest.
She laid her head on his shoulder. “What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to marry me.”
“No. I’m not,” she said with a hiccup.
“You’re not?” He raised her chin and smiled down at her.
“Nope.”
“Well, then what are you going to do?”
Rayne shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“It’s all right.” He rubbed her back. “We’ll sort this out. You don’t have to marry me.”
“I don’t?” She pulled away from him and looked at his face.
“No, you don’t. I love you, Rayne. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
She nodded. “Good.”
He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. “Now, wipe your tears away and we’ll go back inside.”
“I don’t want to go back inside.”
“Why not?”
Rayne wrinkled her nose. “Because we haven’t spent any time together.”
Sam chuckled. “I didn’t realize I’d been neglecting you, Angel.”
“You have been,” she grumbled. “It’s very rude of you.” He leaned down and kissed her. Rayne sighed as she wrapped her arms around his waist and intensified the kiss. Breaking the kiss, she laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. “For a nineteenth-century man, you are really, really good at that.”
He kissed the crown of her head. “It’s cold out here. Let’s go back inside and join everyone.”
Rayne shook her head. “I’m exhausted. I think I’m just going to go to bed, okay?”
Sam nodded. “I’ll let Sophie know.”
He led her back inside and she handed him his jacket. “Thanks for the jacket.”
“Sleep well, Angel.”
Rayne gave him a little wave before making her way up the stairs and to her bedroom. A few minutes later, a knock sounded on her door. “Come in.”
Sophie peeked her head inside. “Hi.”
Rayne turned from the bureau. “Hi.”
Sophie stepped inside and closed the door. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. It’s just been a really weird day.” Rayne sighed.
“I’ll help you with your corset while you tell me why.”
Rayne filled her in on her conversation with Sam. Sophie didn’t comment, which made Rayne talk even more. She couldn’t stop, and by the time her corset was strewn on the floor, she was in tears. “What should I do? I can’t live here.”
“You can’t?”
Rayne turned to face her. “No. I don’t know how.”
“You seem to be fitting in perfectly so far.”
“That’s what Sam said, but I suck at this, Sophie.”
Sophie picked up a few of the discarded garments and folded them neatly. “At what?”
“Everything.”
Sophie pursed her lips. “Oh, everything. I didn’t realize.”
“I know how to be a rock star. It’s all about me in my world. I can do that. I don’t know how to be a proper lady.”
Sophie chuckled. “Who said you have to be a proper lady?”
“It’s the eighteen-hundreds, Sophie.”
“It is? Can’t be. Time travel’s impossible.” Sophie gave her a mischievous smile. “Look at me.” Rayne grumbled, but did as she asked. “Be yourself. You are perfect just the way you were made and you don’t have to be anything other than yourself.”
“I don’t know how to be myself. In my world I can be whoever I want on whatever day, but I’ve never been truly myself. The only person who knows me is Shaye.”
“And Sam.”
Rayne shook her head. “He knows the woman he wants me to be.”
Sophie frowned. “Why is that bad?”
“He talks to me like I’m someone worthy and treats me as though I’m the most important person in the world.”
“To him, you are.” Sophie pulled a nightgown from the drawer and handed it to Rayne.
“Which is stupid.” Rayne pulled the soft cotton over her head. “Because he’ll figure out I’m not perfect and eventually, he’ll resent me.”
“Oh, Rayne. He loves you. He knows you’re not perfect. He loves you just the way you are.”
Rayne sighed. “He can’t really love me, Sophie. It’s too soon. He’ll figure out quickly I’m not really lovable.”
“Where do you get these ideas from?”
“What ideas?”
“These unworthy ideas.” Sophie slid the drawer shut. “Is this bull you’ve been fed, or is it something you tell yourself?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Rayne said in confusion.
Sophie sighed. “Rayne. You are worthy. You’re lovable and loved. Why would you ever think you’re not?”
“I don’t know.” Rayne flopped into one of the chairs. “I guess I’ve always felt this way.”
Sophie sat next to her. “What was your childhood like?”
“I have the typical sob story, really.” Rayne tucked her feet under her bottom. “Dad left when I was little, and Mom and I lived in a trailer park. Mom had a lot of creepy boyfriends, Dad slept with everything that moved. I left when I was seventeen and never went back.”
“Where did you go?”
“Shaye organized for me to stay with her sister in Seattle.”
Sophie raised an eyebrow. “Did you ever see your parents again?”
Rayne dragged her hands down her face. “Yes. When I made it big.”
“What happened?” Sophie asked gently.
Rayne dropped her head back. “Suddenly, my parents really wanted to be there for me. Now they play the ‘loving’ parentals, and the press points out how lucky I am to have such a devoted family.”
“Wow.”
“They guilted me into money, trips, clothing… you name it. Shaye tried to stop me from giving them anything. She said I needed to guard my heart, or something like that. But I had so much and they had nothing.” Rayne blinked back tears. “I felt I owed them.”
“So your worth is wrapped up in your ability to make money.”
Rayne glanced at her in shock. “I never looked at it that way before.”
Sophie smiled gently. “So, here you are, without a penny to your name, and you no longer feel worthy.”
“I didn’t feel worthy when I was making money either, Sophie,” Rayne pointed out.
“Well, then, we need to work on that.”
“You really do make everything sound so simple.” Rayne shuddered. “It’s frickin’ annoying.”
Sophie laughed. “Sorry. Now, get some sleep. Everything will look better in the morning.”
“You are entirely too chipper, Sophie.”
Sophie nearly choked. “No one has ever accused me of that before.” She hugged Rayne and then made her way to the door. “Hey, Rayne?”
“Yes?”
“Sam’s not the only one who loves you here. Remember that.”
Rayne climbed into bed and tried to sleep. She spent a long time staring at the ceiling until she was able to fall into a fitful sleep. She spent the night dreaming of a blue-eyed devil who drove her to distraction.
* * *
Rayne woke the next morning, feeling a strange sense of peace… and a headache. Despite the pounding in her skull, she couldn’t wait to see Sam and laughed at the realization she’d actually admitted that to herself. She dressed quickly and made her way downstairs. She heard laughter coming from the dining room and walked in to find Jamie and Sophie, along with Clayton and Emma. Emma was bouncing Junior on her knee and trying to make him laugh.
“Good morning.” The men stood and Rayne took a seat. “Where’s Sam?”
“He’s gone.” Jamie poured her a cup of coffee.
“Gone?” Rayne tried not to panic. “Gone where?”
“He didn’t say.”
“His parents live close by, Rayne. It’s possible he went to see them.” Sophie patted her hand. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
“Oh,” Rayne said quietly.
“Eat something now and then we’ll take a walk.” Sophie smiled. “I’ll show you the house.”
“Okay.” Rayne grabbed a plate.
“Mr. Madden? A missive has arrived for you,” Daniel, the butler said. He handed Clayton the note and then left the room.
Clayton groaned quietly and slapped the note onto the table.
“What’s wrong?” Emma asked.
“The Johnsons are causing problems at the prison. With Sam out of commission for a while, we need to get back to the city.”
“But we just got here,” Emma whined.
Clayton smiled. “I know that, sweet, but we must go.”
“Fine. I’ll go pack.” Emma rose to her feet and handed Junior to Sophie.
“Excuse us.” Clayton stood and followed his wife out of the room.
Rayne stared at her plate and focused on eating. It wasn’t easy. Her stomach was upset and her head pounded. She just wanted to spend the day in her room crying. Her emotions were irrational and she knew that, but she was angry that Sam hadn’t left her a note or told her last night that he was leaving.
Sophie reached over and tapped her arm. “Rayne?”
“Hm?”
“Are you okay?”
Rayne glanced up and realized they were alone. “I didn’t notice Jamie leave.”
“A little while ago.” Sophie squeezed her hand. “You’re distracted today.”
Before Rayne could respond, Richard walked into the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt. Sam asked me to give you this, Miss Green, and I have been otherwise engaged this morning. Forgive the tardiness.”
He handed her a note and Rayne fingered the paper.
“Why don’t you go into the library to read that, Rayne. I’ll come find you in a bit,” Sophie suggested.
Rayne made her way down to the library and closed the door. She sat in a chair in front of the hearth and opened the letter.
Angel, I’m sorry I have to leave without seeing you. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Sam
Rayne frowned. That’s it? A little more information would have been appreciated.
She sighed and leaned her head against the high-backed chair. She had to get herself under control. Only weak people fell in love this quickly.
“Rayne?” Sophie knocked on the open door. “What did Sam have to say?”
Rayne stood and handed her the note.
Sophie smiled. “It must have been important. How about we go for a walk?”
Rayne nodded. “Sounds great.”
“I have to visit Samson. I’ll grab some treats and we’ll go.”
“I’ll help.”
They collected apples and carrots and then made their way out to the barn. Sophie let out a quiet whistle and Samson whinnied as he stuck his head out of his stall.
“Hello, beautiful boy,” Sophie crooned.
She handed him an apple and stroked his neck as she showered attention on him. She opened the stall and Rayne gasped when Sophie walked through the barn and out to the open pen, Samson following without any kind of halter or lead.
Sophie let him into the small arena and he started to buck and kick, letting some energy out. Sophie groaned as he folded his front legs and went down. “He’s going to roll in the mud. Crap!” Sophie shook her head as Samson folded his large body to the ground and started to roll around.
Rayne giggled. “He kind of looks like a big cat.”
Sophie laughed. “I know. He loves to do this to me. It means I have to spend more time with him. Of course, now we won’t have a chance to see the house until later. Sorry about that. At least the mud is somewhat dry. It won’t be too difficult to brush him down.”
“Won’t the grooms do that?”
Sophie shook her head. “Samson won’t let them near him. Except Topper. But, Topper’s not here at present, so it’s left to me. Jamie’s having some alone time with Junior, so he can’t help. But, you’re here and this will be a good time for you to learn about horses.”
Rayne held her hands up in protest. “I’m more comfortable around Harleys.”
“You’ll do great.”
“But he’s so big, Sophie.”
Sophie grinned. “Yes, but he’s as gentle as a lamb.”
Rayne crossed her arms. “If he kicks me, then you have to serve me until I’m no longer in pain.”
“Deal.” Sophie laughed and turned back to Samson. “Come on, Sammy. Time to get groomed. I’ll take you out for a ride after lunch.”
Samson shook himself off and made his way to the gate. Sophie opened it and he followed her back to the stall. They put a halter on him and secured it to the barn wall. They spent the next hour brushing him down and Rayne was surprised how much she enjoyed it. Samson was a magnificent animal and wholly devoted to Sophie. At one point, Sophie started to walk away from him and he grabbed her skirt with his teeth. Sophie tried to growl at him, but couldn’t stop herself from laughing.
“What’s he doing?” Rayne frowned.
“I don’t know. He just started this a month or so ago. He’s figured out that if he grabs at my skirts, he won’t hurt me, but I also can’t go anywhere.”
“You make him sound almost human.”
“He’s certainly smarter than anyone gives him credit for.” Sophie grabbed Samson’s muzzle and kissed it, effectively disengaging him from her skirts and then walked down the aisle way of the barn. Samson whinnied and threw his head up.
“Oh stop, you big baby!” Sophie called.
“He’s rather like a dog, isn’t he?”
Sophie grabbed a different brush and pounded it against the wall to get the dust off it. “Most definitely. Jamie’s convinced that if he could climb into my lap, he would. In fact, he’s become my watchdog, and a really good one. He’s saved my life and gotten me out of a couple of sticky situations.”
“Do tell.”
Sophie made her way back to Samson and ran the brush down his neck. “Emma and I were kidnapped by men attempting to get information from Clayton about Lincoln’s movements and Samson followed us to the house where they were keeping us.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep. He stood at the back window and waited for Jamie to come.”
Rayne gasped. “No way.”
Sophie fed Samson a sugar cube she took from her pocket. “There was one time when Jamie and I got into an argument and made the mistake of hashing it out in the carriage house. Jamie was really pissed and Sammy poked his head out of the stall and bit him. He still has the scar.”
“Shut the front door.”
Sophie giggled. “We were both so shocked. I didn’t know if I should scold or praise Samson. But, he’s my baby and I adore him, so I secretly praised him.” She held out a carrot.
Rayne laughed as Sophie stroked his face. “He is a really sweet horse.”
“See? Told ya.” Sophie finished brushing him down and then unhooked him to lead him into his stall. “Let’s head back to the house. I’m getting a little hungry.”
“You should have shared with Samson.”
Sophie laughed. “Oh, you’re funny.”
“Well, now that you’ve mentioned food, my stomach’s growling.”
Sophie made sure the stall was secure and nodded. “Let’s go.”