Chapter Fifteen
If I had hoped to hurt Torq, I didn’t get the satisfaction. After a brief enigmatic, narrow-eyed glance at me, he urged his horse forward to a trot as if he couldn’t wait to get back to the island.
We reached the island by midafternoon. The horses, apparently unable to traverse the steep rocky paths between the mainland and Dun Eistean, were taken away to a secret location by Euan.
“Where do you keep them? I’m surprised the Macaulays and Macleods haven’t taken the horses by now.”
“It is no for lack of trying, and we have only a few left, but we keep moving the horses. There are always two lads guarding the horses, as we guard the gate and the beach on the opposite side.”
“That’s a lot of guarding.”
“Aye, it is tiring, but it is the way of things. Come. The tide will return, and we must cross before then.”
Torq carried me down the slick, wet path on the mainland cliff face and across a narrow rocky beach that I knew would soon drown under the incoming tide that separated the sea stack from the mainland. He hauled me up the rocky path on the opposite side, and by the time we crested the cliff and entered the gate, even I was convinced that I should go home, if possible.
I was far too much trouble. The man probably had other things he needed to do besides haul me around, rescue me and haul me around some more.
Ann ran up to us.
“He found you!” she said, patting Torq on the back. “Well done, Torq!”
John approached from the direction of the keep.
“Aye, well done, Torq! Did everyone return?”
“Aye, Euan has gone to see to the horses, and Kenny is at the gate.” He nodded over his shoulder toward Kenny, who had stopped to chat with the guards at the gate.
“It was the Macaulays then?”
“Aye, it was. Let me set the lass down, and then we should speak.”
“How foolish of me. Of course!” John said. He patted my hand. “Welcome back, Cynthia. Were ye harmed in any way?”
“Nane,” Torq answered for me. “I will just set her in the keep.”
John and Ann followed Torq’s long strides as he headed for the keep. Around the curve of his arm, I saw the villagers stop to stare, with the impression once again that I really didn’t belong.
Sarah and Archibald started to run up to us, but Andrew, apparently watching them, put out a restraining hand. John saw the movement.
“Archibald and Sarah were worried about ye, Cynthia,” John said. “Ye as well, Torq.”
“I will stop by and greet them in a bit,” Torq said tersely.
“They’re fine,” Ann said. “They see you—that’s all that matters.” She reached for my hand as Torq carried me toward the keep.
“Are you all right, Cyn?”
“I am,” I said. “Iskair Macaulay protected me.”
“Iskair!” John exclaimed. “Dinna say he had a hand in this!”
“He was in the thick of it,” Torq said gruffly, “but the lass still feels some gratitude toward him. I will explain all as soon as I see the lass settled and see to her needs.”
“I can take care of myself,” I protested, feeling mutinously independent. Of course, I couldn’t, but I didn’t care. I was saying so anyway!
Ann threw me a puzzled glance as we entered the tower.
“Yes, of course you can, Cyn.” She looked from me to Torq.
He carried me into the keep room and settled me down on the bed. Ann helped me out of my cloak. John waited at the door, and Torq left the room without a word.
“What happened?” she asked as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“Which what happened?” I said, fighting back tears. “You mean the kidnapping, or...” I nodded in the direction of the empty doorway.
“Well, the kidnapping, but something’s gone wrong between you and Torq. He was so distraught when you were taken. He blamed himself for failing you. It broke my heart to see him like that again.”
I told her about the kidnapping, Iskair, Ardmore Castle, Mrs. Mackay, Murdo Macaulay.
“That sounds just like the room I was in. I’m sure it was. Mrs. Mackay is a dear. I know John is so grateful she keeps an eye on stuff there, on the castle, its contents.”
“She is a sweetie.”
“So you told the Macaulay chieftain that you were the daughter of an English viscount?” she repeated with a broad grin. “He didn’t notice the accent?”
“No, apparently not. Mrs. Mackay thought it was suspicious though. Iskair believed that I was a viscount’s daughter as well.”
“What a hoot! Macaulay is going to be so mad to lose that awesome ransom!”
“I hope nothing happens to Iskair!”
“You really liked him, didn’t you? I’ve never met him.”
“Yes, he was great, handsome as heck, kind, nice smile. I felt very safe with him, even though he was holding me captive.”
Ann gave me a curious look.
“Do you like him better than Torq?”
“What?”
“Well, you sound kind of attached to him.”
“Attached to him! I’ve been depending on the man for the past few days to keep me alive. I guess I have been attached to him.”
“Does Torq know how you feel?”
“About what?”
“About Iskair! I don’t know what could come of that, to tell you the truth, Cyn. You really don’t want to go live with the Macaulays.”
“What? No! Not like that!”
“Well, it sounds like you fell for him.”
“No, not Iskair. I mean, I could if I hadn’t already...”
“Hadn’t already what?”
“Well, you know, Torq.”
“Fallen in love?”
“He kissed me,” I murmured, my cheeks turning rosy.
“Who did? Iskair?”
“No, Torq! He kissed me when he rescued me.”
“He did?” Ann’s eyes widened. “Just like that?”
“Just like that!”
“It’s not like him to let go like that. He’s in love with you, you know.”
The heavy weight on my chest that had lifted for a moment pressed down again.
“No, he isn’t. He wants me to leave. Remember? You wanted me to go, and he thought I should stay? Now, he wants me to go, says I’m too frail or delicate or wimpy to stay here.”
“Oh, I can’t believe he said that. Wimpy?”
“Not those words exactly, but he said I’m too soft to live here, and maybe he’s right. I’ve been nothing but a burden since I’ve been here. Even in the twenty-first century, I couldn’t keep myself out of trouble. I wasn’t on the site half an hour before I fell into the keep. And now I can’t get around, and Torq has been bashed, cut and beaten twice because of me. He’ll live a lot longer if I’m gone.”
“Oh, Cyn, that’s not true.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. He’s in love with you. He loved Mary, but he’d always loved Mary. It’s different with you. He’s very protective of you.”
“Like a porcelain doll?”
“Maybe.”
“That’s going to get him killed. I need to be tougher, like you.”
“I’m not tough, Cyn. I’m just in love. And the man I love is a sixteenth-century Scottish laird, so this is where I’m at! It isn’t easy. Don’t think that I don’t want to go back sometimes—to have a hot bath, go to a decent restaurant, a movie, a doctor, centralized heating. But not at the expense of giving up John.”
“So you wouldn’t even try going back through time?”
Ann shook her head. “No, the risk is too great. While it worked out fine the first time, and I see that the dagger brought you back in time, the risk is still too great. I can’t leave my husband. I can’t leave my kids.”
I fell silent, ignoring the needs of nature that pained my nether regions.
“Well, we’d better get you some food,” she said. “You probably haven’t eaten, have you?”
“Not for a while.”
Ann rose.
“If I go back, Ann, there’s no guarantee I can return.”
She lingered. “No, there isn’t. If you want to leave, why would you want to return?”
“I’m in love with Torq.”
She sank back down and took one of my hands. “Then what’s this all about? Just stay here. Stay with him.”
“I was going to, but he wants me to go.”
“Do you want me to talk to him? I mean, after all, I stayed. He’s never asked me about that. We’ve never really had an intimate conversation. He’s always been a bit closed off, really. Even when he was married to Mary, he wasn’t particularly friendly. Frankly, if I think about it, I’m not sure he thought I belonged here.”
“Well then, I guess you see my point. No, don’t talk to him. If the man was really in love with me, he would ask me to stay, right?”
“Not necessarily. If I know one thing about Torq, about John, about any of these guys, it’s that they want to protect their women and children above all things. If Torq feels you are in danger or that you—”
“Are too soft to survive here?”
“I didn’t say that,” she protested.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“If Torq feels you are in danger or that you would be safer in the twenty-first century, then yes, he would want you to go back, no matter how much it cost him, how much he would miss you.”
My heart thudded against my ribs. “I can’t imagine Torq missing anyone.”
“You would have if you’d seen him after Mary died. He almost lightened up when he was married to her. Mary wasn’t a particularly happy-go-lucky woman either. She was born and raised a Morrison, a sixteenth-century Scot, with all the trials and tribulations these people go through in their incessant clan feuds. Lots of death, lots of loss. So, it’s not like they ran around the tabletop laughing, holding hands and singing. But they weren’t alone anymore, and Torq finally had a love of his own.
“He was devastated when she died, but his idea of grieving was to revert to his formerly sullen self, except worse than before. He shut himself off from everyone for the longest time, moving in here to the keep and working all day and keeping to himself at night...if he wasn’t manning one of the checkpoints.
“He didn’t treat Mary like a ‘porcelain doll,’ to use your expression. She was pretty hale and hardy, but as it happens, not strong enough to withstand disease. It’s possible he doesn’t want to go through that again, that he doesn’t want to lose someone else, but life is pain, right? We live, we love, sometimes we lose, and then we live again to love.”
I heard the frustration in Ann’s voice, a faint echo of my own inner dilemma.
I told her then about my father, my fabulously fascinating father who traveled and dug up mysterious artifacts and had a beard and looked exactly like what one thought an archaeologist should. And I told her that although he had probably loved me in the abstract, he had actually been too distracted with his mysteries to care that he had a daughter who worshiped him.
She took my hand in hers.
“I’m so sorry, Cyn. I do know archaeologists. They’re lost in the clouds sometimes...well, the earth. They’re gone...a lot, and when they’re home, they’re buried under the results of their finds. You and I both know that. Gotta love those adventurers, the seekers of the dead, but sometimes they fail to see the living before them.”
She let go my hand.
“You look exhausted. You need to eat and drink something. I’ll be back in a jiff.”
I let her go and looked up at the small window of the keep. When I could no longer ignore the pain in my lower abdomen, I lifted up onto my elbows and rolled off the bed, hitting the straw-carpeted floor with a painful thud and a groan. I pulled myself up to my knees, reached for the pot, hitched up my skirts and did my duty.
The door opened just as I finished, and Torq entered.
I shrieked. “Wait!”
“Auch!” he muttered, turning his back. “I should have knocked. Forgive me.”
He didn’t leave but kept his back to me.
I pushed the pot under the bed and pulled myself up to stand, bracing myself on the nearby stone wall. My skirts fell appropriately.
“Okay, I’m done!”
He turned and looked at me with surprise.
“Ye’re on yer feet.”
“I’ve had to be,” I said. “I have to get better.”
“Dinna reinjure yerself!”
“Despite what you think, Torq, I’m a lot tougher than I look. If you had fallen eight feet...or fourteen feet depending on what century I fell from, your back would hurt too!”
“There is no need for yer anger. I didna say ye were weak.”
“Oh really?”
I looked at him with longing, but I narrowed my eyes so he couldn’t see how I felt.
“I’m going to leave in the morning,” I said. “So someone go find that dagger.”
“Aye, I ken that is wise. Ye should go, and I told ye so.”
“I’m not leaving because you told me to, Torq! I’m leaving because I’m too much trouble—and I need an x-ray and I’m too much trouble.”
“X-ray?”
“A way they can see if I cracked my spine or something.”
He shook his head as if he didn’t understand, and I didn’t elaborate.
“Andrew hid the dagger. I will have him fetch it.”
“Now?”
“Ye can use it when ye think necessary, but ye must tell Ann before ye go.”
“Tell me what?” Ann said, carrying a tray of food in. She laid the tray down on the table.
I hadn’t wanted to blurt out my half-baked plans to Ann so soon. In fact, I didn’t really want to go. I had only said so to hurt Torq and because I truly believed I was a hindrance more than anything. If he had begged me to stay, I would have.
“The lass plans to leave in the morning. I will send Andrew to fetch the dagger. I wished her to say goodbye to ye afore she left.”
“You decided?” Ann asked me.
I tried to communicate with her telepathically, through the unhappiness in my eyes, but she only stared at me.
“Yes, I guess it’s time to go.”