When I wake up, I’m all too aware that I’m in a bed that is not my own. It’s softer than my own, the sheets and blankets spread across my body almost unimaginably plush. I shift to sit upright, growing aware of a strong arm wrapped around my torso. The night before comes flooding to the forefront of my mind and I realize that I’ve mistakenly spent the night at Caleb’s penthouse. To make matters worse, we didn’t even have sex. We just… talked. As much as I’d love to think it was indicative of him feeling something deeper for me, I know it’s just a matter of time before he gets bored of me. As much as I fancy the idea of being owned by the man, I know it’s nothing I can entertain for long.

Carefully managing to extract myself from beneath his arm, I tuck a pillow in the area I just vacated. His expression is serene as he sleeps, the slightest bit of drool gathering at the corner of his mouth. When I place the pillow in his arms, he nestles impossibly closer, breathing a sigh of sheer contentedness. I’m going to be late for work at any rate, especially considering I’ll have to go home and change into my scrubs. It’s better this way, I suppose, giving me an excuse to leave in a rush. If I stay much longer, I’m not sure I’ll be able to bear leaving the gorgeous man behind.

Once I’m clocked into work, things continue as usual. The normal business one would expect at a veterinary office, anyway. My mind is swamped with the thoughts of where I stand with Caleb and it’s obvious that I’ve dug myself a hole that’s nearly too deep to get out of at this point. Trying to ignore the pangs in my chest is a fruitless task and I have my fair share of comments on how tired I look. I’m fucking exhausted, you sick fucks. I’ve been exhausted for years now and you’re just now noticing it?

It’s a bitter thought, one I know I shouldn’t get wrapped up in. Am I more tolerable to be around, after my nights with Caleb? I can’t deny that I wake up feeling absolutely radiant after a good round of sex the night before. Even ignoring my unintended celibacy until our arrangement, I’ve never had sex comparable to what I share with my handsome master of sorts.

My phone vibrates and a jolt of fear shoots through me at the idea of it being the very man I’d left alone this morning. I hesitate a long moment before swiping the screen, finding myself simultaneously relieved and disappointed to find that it’s a text from Kara. It seems innocent enough, as she’s asking to meet me for lunch. However, I have my suspicions that she’ll have her share of questions about my time on the escort app. Deciding to bite the bullet, I send her a quick message telling her to meet me at the cafe. Pushing away from my station at the receptionist’s desk, I step towards the door and flip the sign over to show that we’re away on lunch. The rest of the staff have already taken their leave, but I had a few loose ends to tie up. At least, that’s what I’d like to tell myself.

In reality, I’m still stuck on Mr. Fucking Perfect.

I manage to clear my mind somewhat on the walk to the cafe, offering Kara a tired smile upon spotting her. She’s already ordered my usual and is obviously has pins and needles of anticipation as I approach the outdoor table. I slump into the chair, taking a big bite of my ham and cheese Panini. Kara makes a valiant effort to keep herself in control, I’ll give her that much. It’s growing increasingly apparent that she can barely contain herself, though. Taking another bite of my sandwich, I consider her through weary eyes.

“So…,” she begins, leaning across the table to get a better look at me. I can’t imagine I look particularly nice, in spite of the restful night I’d had. My whole day has been spent feeling troubled over the idea of letting myself get attached to my client. I have to keep reminding myself, that’s all Caleb is supposed to be: a client. I’ve not had anyone I’m able to confide in; it’s not like I can tell my mother that I’m falling for a man who pays me for sex. As Kara watches me with wide and eager eyes, I can only wonder how much of a mistake it would be to tell her what’s going on in my life.

It only takes a moment’s consideration before I spill everything. Literally, everything: from signing up to the escort site, to receiving the instant message from Caleb, to falling head over heels for a man who will be decidedly done with me at any time now. I even tell her about his strange desire to own women and her eyes glimmer with fascination and something akin to delight as I finish regaling my tale.

“Then, I woke up in bed with him this morning. No sex the night before, nothing. Just… talking,” I groan, burying my face in my hands. I can feel Kara’s eyes on me, scrutinizing every little detail like she’s always done.

“And… you’re not happy with this situation?” she prompts. I raise my head, looking at her disbelievingly. “It’s just that this seems like the perfect job for you. I know it’s temporary, but you’re getting paid a ton to sleep with a hot guy who doesn’t expect you to do an awful lot. I mean, I fail to see the negatives to this arrangement,” she says gently. I glance towards my watch, feeling suddenly irritated and more exhausted than ever.

“I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall in love with him,” I elaborate. She doesn’t look convinced.

“I think you’re reading too deeply into things. He treats you well and got you out of a bad situation. I’m sure you care about him, but I wouldn’t be so quick to call it love,” Kara says. I fight the desire to roll my eyes, taking a final bite of my sandwich and rising to my feet. It’s clear that Kara realizes that she’s made a bit of a flub, but I’m not too keen on sticking around for her to sputter out half-baked apologies.

“I have to go back to work. I’ll let you know how it works out, Kara,” I say blandly, turning my back on her and walking back in the direction of the veterinary clinic. I can hear Kara call out to me, her voice apologetic, but I’m not in any mood to hear about how foolish I’m being. I’ve scolded myself enough for being an idiot, I don’t need to hear it from every other jerk-ass in town.

Another irritating vibration from my phone and I realize I’m not particularly thrilled to hear from anyone on my contacts list at this point. I rip the device out of my pocket, narrowing my eyes at the screen when I realize it’s from a number I don’t recognize. Swiping to read the message, I’m startled to see that it’s from one of my old coworkers at the Jaybird. I blink blearily at the message, rereading the first few lines several times before finally finishing the message. My heart catches in my chest as I actually process what’s written in the text and it’s all I can do not to shriek.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more complicated, an old friend jumps into the mix. At the very least, it’s not someone looking to land me in the sack. No, this is a lot less nefarious, at least on the surface. It’s Jenna, my old co-worker who is opening a club of her own in downtown Atlanta. She wants me to work the bottles and I can’t deny that it’s a tempting thought. The tips would be great; granted, not as great as five grand a night to sleep with a man with whom I’m falling in love. However, it leaves me with the question of whether or not I should continue this facade with Caleb.

The job opportunity offers me the perfect ‘out’, as it were. It would be enough money to keep food on the table and pay off some of my mother’s bills. We wouldn’t exactly go without and it would certainly be a more steady source of income than the occasional pay per fuck. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that the man who has stolen my heart simply can’t feel the same. Believe me, I like to play pretend. I’d love to continue with this thought that someday Caleb will decide that he wants me and me alone.

It’s a ridiculous notion. I can only provide so much for him and even though I like to think I’ve been a good enough fuck-toy, I know it’s only a matter of time before I am replaced. The thrill will be lost the moment the gorgeous asshole realizes that I’ve fallen for him. Better to break ties while I still have my dignity at the very least. It seems to be all I have left, as of late.

Swallowing my pride and hesitation, I send a quick message to Jenna. I tell my old co-worker I’ll take the job and start immediately. She sends back a smiling emoji and though I know I should be thrilled, I can only feel empty inside. Oh well, having something to fill the void with makes going back to work all the better. I’m startled to see that the clinic has several voicemails, when I return. Now that I actually look at it, it appears that I’ve received my share of calls while I had my phone on silent earlier in the day. I don’t know how I didn’t notice it when I received the message from Jenna, but perhaps it’s better that I didn’t.

The messages are from Caleb, asking me to return his call as soon as possible. Apparently being unable to contact me on my cell phone had been entirely unthinkable and unacceptable, so he’d taken to calling the office at which I’d casually mentioned working. The other receptionist looked at me with a smirk and I try to swallow my irritation as I sit down and delete the messages. There’s no doubt that they’ve already been played a thousand times over and I won’t hear the end of it until the end of work. Fortunately, there are only a few hours left in the day. If I can just survive until the end of the work day, I can explain things to Caleb. He doesn’t exactly deserve an explanation, considering the nature of our relationship. Just as well, I’d feel guilty leaving him up in the air. If I’m going to be cutting him off, he deserves to know why at the very least.

Time to clock out doesn’t come fast enough, but when it strikes, it’s like a chorus of angels has descended from the Heavens. I punch my timecard, rushing out of the veterinary office and towards my car. I’d received several additional calls from Caleb throughout the day, but I made it very clear that no one at the office was to answer the calls. There had been almost a pleading tone in Caleb’s voice, like some kind of kicked puppy or something.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the kicked puppy himself lingering outside the door of my apartment. My heart seizes in my chest and my first instinct is to turn tail and run. I realize I’d only be delaying the inevitable. However, he seems to spot me the second I turn the corner. I struggle to keep my expression passive, even as he rushes towards me with a rather wounded expression.

“Maggie, I was worried about you. I didn’t expect you to leave without saying goodbye,” he begins and I can do little but laugh hollowly. He looks troubled by my cynical response, but I have no idea how he can blame me. He’s the one who set the stakes in this whole thing. He made the rules; I’m just following them. “Are you angry at me…?” Caleb asks nervously and I feel my heart break a bit in spite of myself. I know I should just tell him I’ve found another job, that I won’t be needing to provide my services any longer. However, I can’t shake that there’s something in his gaze that begs for more. Some explanation, some reason for me cutting him off. It makes no sense, all things considered. He has never been more kind to me. In the end, that was the problem, really.

“I’m not angry, Caleb. I’m just tired. I’m tired from work, I’m tired of this situation and I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. Do you know how much it kills me? Knowing that any night you book me might be our last together? I promised myself that I wouldn’t get attached to you, but it seems like yet another thing I’m a failure at,” I say bitterly, pretending not to see the hurt in his gaze. I can’t afford to feel sorry for him. I can’t afford to put anyone above myself and my mother’s needs any longer.

“W-what do you expect me to do?” he asks, his voice pained as he reaches out to me. I stare at him for a long moment, tempted to reach out and meet him halfway. I would like nothing more than to be drawn into his strong embrace. I would love nothing more than to pretend that all of this is leading to some happily ever after. However, I’m coming to realize that happily ever after just isn’t in the cards for a girl like me.

“I don’t expect you to do anything, Caleb. But don’t expect anything from me either. I can’t do this anymore,” I sigh, slipping into my apartment. He moves to follow me, but I close the door in his face, slipping the latch into place. I lean against the door, a single tear streaming down my cheek as I think of the gravity of what I’ve done. In spite of myself and my previous anger for her, I find myself texting Kara for some comfort. The apologies between us go unspoken and I’m just happy to have my friend on my side.

With her assurance, I’m certain that what I’ve done is for the best.