Hattie Mae
Justin texted me a few minutes ago and said he was waiting outside of Rowdy’s for me. When I pull into the parking lot I wince noticing Zane’s truck is here. I didn’t even think of him working today when I agreed to meet Justin. But then again, maybe his being here will be a good thing. Having Zane around will serve as a reminder that there are other guys in the world that think I am attractive. I haven’t talked to him since the cookout and since my revelation. I am somewhat excited to see him. I just hope things don’t get awkward between us since I told him I was left for another man and due to the fact that I have now kissed his brother…twice. However, if he really meant what he said about being my friend then I have nothing to worry about.
Time to get this over with. Justin cannot hurt and embarrass me anymore. Getting out of my car, I hold my head high with my shoulders back. No one here, other than Zane, knows what Justin did to me. How he trampled on my heart with his betrayal and his secrets.
I cross the street and I spot Justin easily. He is leaning against the building with one leg propped against the brick, smoking a cigarette. When did he start smoking? On the outside, he looks like that guy I grew up with, the man I loved wholeheartedly. On the inside though, I know that he is a liar. His good looks don’t phase me anymore. He smiles widely when he spots me. He snuffs out his cancer stick and runs his fingers through his perfectly tousled hair. My mind flashes to seeing his fingers gripping his lovers face hard as they kissed. I clench my jaw, trying not to let my anger get the best of me. I’ve moved on with my life and I am happy here.
“Hey, Hattie.” He smiles sheepishly and tries to hug me. I give him an awkward side hug and he kisses my cheek. I cringe inwardly when his lips touch my face. A year ago, I craved his touch and his kiss. Now, I crave someone else.
“You look amazing. You’ve lost weight.” Another shit thing about Justin, he was always on me about what I was eating. He would always order me what he called a healthy choice when we went out to eat somewhere. I know I am a larger girl, but I did not need him of all people to point that out to me.
“Why are you here, Justin?” I am ready for him to get this over with as quickly as I can.
I have mixed emotions about seeing him today. I miss the easy friendship we once shared. It wasn’t always perfect, but he was there for me through the rough stuff growing up when my mom would let me down, which was pretty much always.
“We can talk over lunch. I’m famished.” He rubs his hands over his washboard abs. Abs that once upon a time I would have loved running my hands over. Justin never turned down a blowjob from me, but he never was keen on returning the favor. Maybe if I had a dick for him he would have.
He takes my hand in his as if it is the most natural thing in the world. For most of my life, it was, but now his touch feels wrong. Bringing him here feels weird. I know it must sound silly, but I feel like this place is Zane’s and we are only friends, but I feel like it’s wrong to bring another man to his place. The place where we first met…where I kissed him. Okay I kissed Lucas here too, but it didn’t have that special feeling attached to it. It was more of a let’s see what happens thing. Technically kissing Zane was an experiment. I wasn’t expecting to feel anything, but I did, and I do.
I don’t see Zane, but I see Sienna and she is giving me the stink eye. We take a seat at a table and Justin is scanning the menu. Eventually she comes over to take our order. Justin tries to order a salad for me and I cut him off right there. He looks a bit perturbed, but he doesn’t comment. I get my usual burger and Justin orders chicken strips.
“Okay…so you needed to see me,” I state, clearly letting Justin know I am ready for him to get to the point of why he is here.
“You have no idea how good it is to see you, Hattie.” He tries to take my hand again and I pull it back. I don’t know what he is playing at. I remember what kind of man he is.
“Justin, cut the shit. It’s been months since I saw you with him, and now you are suddenly here, sending me mixed signals. I don’t know what you want or expect from me.”
He waits until Sienna serves us our drinks before he answers me.
“I want you back, Hattie. I’m here because I fucked up. I was confused. I was scared. My job was putting so much pressure on me and you were always hounding me to take steps I wasn’t ready for. Blaine was there for me and he didn’t put pressure on me. That night when you walked in that was the first time he had ever made a pass at me. I was stunned, then you walked in, and you never gave me a chance to explain. I know how it looked, but it was a kiss that meant nothing.”
“Nothing. It meant nothing,” I grit through my teeth, not wanting anyone to hear what I am about to say. “He was shoving his tongue down your throat and you were enjoying it. If I hadn’t walked up on you two, who knows how far it would have gone. How can you call that nothing? You told me we had been over for a long time, Justin. That is hardly nothing. You broke my heart. I don’t know why I even agreed to see you today.” Images of him with that guy flood me and bring back my hurt and my anger.
Sienna brings over our food, eyeing us. I know she’s trying her best to overhear our conversation. Lurking at our table she’s waiting for an introduction maybe, I don’t know, but I am not in the mood for pleasantries right now. “Thanks, Sienna, that will be all for now.” I smile weakly at her, hoping she takes the not so subtle hint.
She nods, winks, and goes to wiping down the tables beside of us. I mean really, Sienna. I know what she is up to and honestly, I can’t blame her. I know she is looking out for Zane, but we are just friends. I’d be a liar if I said that I didn’t feel that there could be more between us, but he hasn’t made a move.
“It meant nothing. I told you I was confused. I fooled around with him a few times but that was it. I love you, Hattie. I’m here to take you home with me where you belong. We can still get married and do everything we talked about.”
“Are you delusional? I’m never going back there or anywhere with you.” Why would I take him back? He screwed around on me with another man. I don’t buy a thing he is saying.
“Hey, Sienna, I’ll take a beer.” I need a drink, a strong drink. “No wait, I think I’ll have a Jack and Coke instead.”
“You don’t drink, baby,” Justin says, thinking he knows me better than I know myself. Eight months ago, that might have been true.
“I do now,” I mutter.
Zane emerges from the back carrying cases of beer. His eyes brighten when they meet mine. Then he looks to Justin and his smile falls. Seeing that look on his face makes me feel like shit. I never should have brought Justin here. Zane puts the beer down and I wave at him with a tight-lipped smile. Justin doesn’t even notice.
Zane and Sienna converse quietly but his eyes never leave mine. Sienna whispers something in his ear, hands him my drink, and he brings it over to the table.
“Here ya go, Hattie Mae.” God, the way he says my name makes my lips lift into the biggest smirk. I love that sound when it comes from his lips. Then he does something completely unexpected. He says, “Baby, I wasn’t expecting to see you until I got off later.”
I am confused by his words and stunned into silence when he crashes his mouth down to mine. I see sparks dancing behind my eyelids. I am quite sure lightning just struck my panties and disintegrated them. His tongue invades my mouth and I let it. He takes complete control, devouring every inch of my mouth with his. I easily forget that my ex-boyfriend is watching our display. Zane’s hands are fisted in my hair full of the passion that I crave as he continues to kill me slowly with this torturous kiss. A purr escapes my throat when he finally lets me go to catch his breath.
Slapping her hand down on the bar, I hear Sienna say, “Fuck, that turned me on!”
“Oh, hey man. I’m Zane.” He sticks his hand out to Justin and winks at me. I don’t know what to do or say. I am afraid if I move I might be stuck to my chair. I have never been so damn wet in all my life. I could do Zane right here in front of everyone that kiss was so hot.
Justin swallows hard but accepts Zane’s offered hand and shakes it. “I didn’t know Hattie was seeing anyone.”
“My girl likes to keep me to herself if you know what I mean, man.” He smacks him on the back, roughly as if they are buddies. What in the hell is Zane doing?
“Um, Zane, can I talk to you in private for a minute?”
He smirks. “Whatever you want, sweetheart. She can’t keep her hands off me,” Zane says to Justin, shrugging as I pull him toward the back near the bathrooms.