Elizabeth lay in her bed the next morning, exhausted. She had not gotten a wink of sleep, tossing and turning all night as she replayed what had happened between her and Nathan. It had felt so good to kiss him again, so right. It was as though her heart had come alive for the first time since he had called off their wedding. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to give in and feel the bliss of being in love with Nathan again.

It was that feeling of joy that had shaken her back into reality. The feeling of tumbling back into the euphoria of love had brought with it the real threat of the same pain that had once broken her heart. She knew from experience that joy didn’t last. It only fooled you into opening your heart enough to be hurt.

As she lay there, a rapid knock came at her bedroom door. She sighed, knowing exactly who was there. She was usually up and about by 6 a.m. and it was now well after 8. She knew Kate would be worried.

“Come in,” she called.

“Are you okay?” Kate looked at her with an expression full of concern.

Elizabeth sat up in bed, brushing the loose hair from her face. “I’m fine.”

“That’s a lie. You’ve been crying.”

“It’s nothing.” Elizabeth tried once more to end the conversation about Nathan before it began.

“You’ve been crying. It’s not nothing.”

“Fine, I went to the movies with Nathan last night. That’s all there is.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Kate…”

“Liz!”

“I’m gonna be okay,” Elizabeth promised her sister, hoping that it was true.

“What did he do to you?” Kate asked, sparks of rage in her eyes.

“I don’t know how to explain it.”

She thought back to the feeling right before Nathan had kissed her. The worst part was that she had wanted him to do it. After years of denying that she felt anything at all, facing her feelings for him was supposed to help her get past them, not make her vulnerable again.

“Find a way!” Kate snapped as she sat on her sister’s bed.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Fine. Then I’ll just assume the worst. He’s an insensitive idiot anyway.”

“I wish he’d been an idiot,” Elizabeth muttered under her breath.

“You have to give me something. I’m freaking out here.”

“It was nice.”

“Nice nights don’t lead to mornings spent in bed crying.”

“It was so easy to fall into old habits with him.”

“Old habits?” Kate repeated, a sudden sick feeling in her stomach as she worried about what it was that had her strong sister hiding in her bed.

“Yes.”

“Explain!”

“We went to see Casablanca at Cedar Lee.” Elizabeth looked out the window as she said it. Kate would know just what that meant to her.

“That’s playing dirty.” Kate fumed, her temper flaring.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that he knows that you love that movie and that place.”

“Sure.” Elizabeth was not sure how taking her to her favorite movie was an underhanded thing to do.

“And he knows that you have a lot of nice memories of going there and watching that movie with him.”

Elizabeth defended him instinctively. “It was thoughtful.”

“You don’t think it’s a little convenient?”

“It was a really nice night.”

“So nice you’ve been crying tears of joy?”

Elizabeth could understand her sister’s point of view. It was a very sentimental place for her and Nathan knew it. Still, she couldn’t imagine that he had done it to hurt her.

“He kissed me,” she admitted, tired of trying to hold in the truth.

“I can’t believe it!” Kate growled.

“Kate, don’t get upset.”

“No, he has no right to act like he didn’t tear your heart out. How dare he kiss you?”

“I practically asked him to,” Elizabeth groaned, so embarrassed by the fact that it was true.

“You did what?”

“It’s hard to explain.” Elizabeth didn’t want to go further into the moment that it had happened.

“I don’t care. Start talking,” Kate ordered, her tone leaving little room for denying her.

“We were quoting the movie back and forth to each other.” Elizabeth stopped talking, hoping that her vague explanation would be enough.

“Keep going.” Kate sensed that there was more to the story.

“You know that line where she asks him to kiss her like it’s the last time?” Elizabeth knew that Kate would know what she meant. They had watched the film together dozens of times.

“Oh, Liz.”

“I didn’t even think. It just felt so right.” Elizabeth stared in the distance, a weak smile forming on her lips.

“You wanted him to kiss you?”

“I don’t know what I wanted. I’ve been so exhausted and it’s all such a blur,” Elizabeth explained, trying to find the truth for herself.

“Did you like it?”

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

“Did you like it?” Kate pushed, determined to understand her sister’s true feelings.

“At first, it felt so right. Honestly, it felt like my heart truly beat for the first time in years. My whole body was electric. I loved him so much then. How does that go away?”

“Oh, honey.” Kate gently stroked her sister’s arm.

“I let myself just feel and it was perfect,” Elizabeth whispered, tears welling in her eyes again.

“Then why are you crying?”

“Because it wasn’t real.”

“What?” Kate asked in confusion.

“I was letting myself fall back into the old ways.”

“And?”

“But it wasn’t even real then. I was a fool to think he could love me more than his work and I let him rip my heart out then. How can I let him do it again? I’m not an idiot.”

“So what did you do?”

“I ran away,” Elizabeth said, blushing with embarrassment.

“Ran away?”

“I ran into the house and told him I can’t.”

“Good!” Kate nodded.

“I wouldn’t survive if he did it again.”

“Do you love him?”

“More than ever.” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she faced the truth.

After this confession, the sisters were silent for a few long moments.

“It’s just because he’s being so good to mom,” Kate said.

Elizabeth hoped it was true. “Maybe.”

“It’ll fade once she’s back on her feet and you don’t have to see him every day.”

“I really hope so.”

“It’s gonna be okay. I’m going to take care of you this time,” Kate assured her as Elizabeth rested her head on her sister’s shoulder and sighed.