Tomorrow is the day. The day that I have been dreading. I can’t delay telling Will any more. It’s time, but it’s getting late, and he still hasn’t come home from work.

I decide to call his cell to see when he expects to be home by.

His phone rings twice before going to voicemail and then I hang up, not wanting to leave what I have to say in a message.

Just as I’m about to set my phone down on the kitchen island, the garage door sounds, and I hear Will pulling in.

He’s inside within a few minutes and walks straight over to me and gives me a sweet kiss on the lips. "How was your day, beautiful?" he asks.

I smile. "Better now that you’re home."

"I should hope so." He chuckles and then walks over to the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of water. "Have you eaten yet?" He twists the cap off his bottle and takes a big gulp as I shake my head. "Are you hungry?" I nod. "Do you want breakfast for dinner?"

"That would be great."

He grins. "Good. I'll whip us up some omelets."

I take a seat at the bar and watch him as he cooks for me. He's pulled a thirteen-hour day, and the first thing he does is cook for me when he comes home. No complaints. No bargaining. He just wants to take care of me.

The thought causes my heart to trip over itself, and I have to bite down on my tongue to keep from telling him how much I love him.

Right now. At this moment. There isn't a person in the world that means more to me.

That's why it's so hard to tell him this next part.

I clear my throat, and he looks over his shoulder at me. "What's wrong? You look like you're worried about something."

"I have to go back home for a couple of days."

He stops what he's doing and slides the frying pan off the stove before turning to face me. His expression shifts from his easygoing demeanor to an intent look of dismay. “Truth. What have you been hiding? I’ve let it go, but if you’re going back to North Carolina, then I need to know everything. No lies."

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. His expression is one of concern but also apprehension. It’s as if he’s waiting for me to tell him something that will devastate him. The sad thing is, I’m not so sure this won’t.

“I never meant to lie to you. I’ve always tried to be as honest as I could. But I’ve been afraid that my past would ruin everything that’s happening between us.” He shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest, eyeing me intently.

“Just say it, Kara. Quit skirting the issue and just tell me the truth.”

His commanding tone causes a nervous shiver to run through my body. I take a deep breath and decide to put all my hope in my love for him. Hoping with everything that I am that he feels the same way and he’ll forgive me.

“I married a man straight out of high school. It was nice at first, but then he started abusing me. Over the years, it got worse.” I look up at him pleadingly. “I didn’t have anyone I could turn to. My father is a useless drunk, and I have no other family. So I planned an escape. It took a little over ten years before I stumbled upon the idea of using a surrogacy program to be able to afford a new start in life.” I glance at his stony expression and fight the nervous butterflies floundering in my belly. I have to keep going. I can’t stop now.

“My friend provided a means for me to take on a new identity. So I became Kara Murphy.”

“Wait a minute … your real name isn’t Kara Murphy?” he asks, his brows pinched together and his lips pursed in anger.

I slowly shake my head. “No, it wasn’t at the time. But I hired a lawyer when I came to Chicago, and he petitioned for a legal name change. Now, my legal name is Kara Murphy, but it wasn’t then.”

He throws his hands up and begins pacing the kitchen. “This cannot be happening. Everything that you’ve told me has all been lies?”

“No, not everything. Just the name part. Well …” I fight back a surge of tears threatening to break free. “… I never told you I was married. And that I hadn’t been able to get a divorce because I had to get away from him first. He would’ve killed me if I had tried to divorce him when I as living back home.”

“So the logical thing to do was to lie and get yourself pregnant with my babies, thus endangering them as well.” He mutters a few curses, his hands pulling on his hair in frustration. “Jesus Christ, Kara. What the hell were you thinking? How could you have kept this from me all this time? How could you have let me develop feelings for you and know that it was all based on a lie? How could you?” He looks at me as if I’m a total stranger to him, and that serves to hurt me more than anything he could have possibly said. Words said in anger can be taken back, but the look in his eyes and the lack of emotion in them—that’s as real as it gets.

I was wrong to think that his feelings for me were strong enough to weather this storm. I was foolish to think that I could love enough for the both of us. It’s plain to see by the expression on his face that I couldn’t have been more off the mark.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to be safe and to be able to start a new life for myself. I thought that by giving you a baby in the process that I would be redeeming myself to you. That you would somehow understand when it came time to tell you. But I was wrong. You don’t understand. You couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to be raped by your husband. To beaten so badly that you’re hospitalized for over a week. No, you wouldn’t understand what it’s like because you’ve been loved your whole life.”

I turn to leave the room, and he grabs me by the arm and pulls me around to face him.

“No, you don’t get to throw those accusations at me as if I’ve misled you. As if I’m the one who betrayed your trust. I gave everything to you. Everything. And this is what I get in return?” He scoffs.

“I’m sorry, Will. I have to go home to finalize the divorce. When I come back, I’ll stay out of your life as much as possible. I’ll carry the twins and deliver them for you as per our agreement.”

“That’s it?”

“I don’t know what else you want from me. I’ve tried to be deserving of you. I’ve tried to be the woman you’ve led me to believe I was. But I’m not that woman and I never will be. I’m just trailer trash that comes from a broken home and an abusive marriage. I have nothing else to offer you.”

“Stop it!” he yells, his hand tightening around my bicep as I try to pull away from him. “I’m mad as hell right now, Kara, but I will not stand by and let you degrade yourself in this manner either. You’ve lied to me. Misled me. And used me for your own financial gain. But that still doesn’t change the fact that you are exactly the strong and beautiful woman I’ve thought you to be. Maybe if you stepped back and saw what I saw in you, you would have seen that I would have done anything for you if you had just been honest with me.”

He turns loose of my arm and makes his way to the garage, grabbing his phone and keys on his way out.

* * *

I cried myself to sleep last night. When Will left and the door slammed closed behind him, it was like a hammer shattering my heart inside my chest. I don’t know that he’ll ever forgive me for lying to him.

This is exactly what I feared would happen if I told him everything. But what he’s not understanding is that if I had been honest from the very beginning, he never would have allowed me into his life in the first place.

I finish packing my bag and then write out a long note of explanation to Will and place it on the table in the mudroom where he places his keys. I pour my heart out in the letter. No lies. No falsities. Just raw honesty. And it’s in the last sentence that I tell him … I tell him that I love him and I’m sorry.