Cassandra Dee is a bestselling author of dozens of hot and steamy contemporary romances.  She started out writing erotica but transitioned to romance after falling for one too many book boyfriends.

Cassandra started reading romance back in third grade, when she did a book report on a tween love story called Cassie.  Of course, she had no idea what she was reading back then, but it was fun.  And in tribute, she selected this pen name with many affectionate memories.

When she’s not tapping away furiously at her laptop, Cassandra can be found drinking gallons of coffee and watching lots of reality TV.  She also enjoys taking the neighbor’s dog for walks, aimlessly wandering the local grocery store, and of course, reading too much about the lives of her favorite celebrities.

Cassandra is living her own HEA with her husband and a beautiful baby boy. 

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Sarah May is a contemporary romance author new to the publishing scene, although she’s been writing since she was twelve years old.  An administrative assistant by day, she’s a romance author by night. 

Sarah lives with her fur baby in Texas, and is planning on getting a second one as soon as Fur Baby 1 can handle a sibling.

You may be overusing italics for effect.

Mr. Evans, you don’t need to write out “mister”

This tour of the airplane is taking a long time and drags. I wasn’t sure if you had to go into so much painstaking detail on this part.

Repetitive. They say this over and over and it’s becoming very tedious.

This is a very dated expression. It makes him sound like he’s in his 50s

This should be in past tense, not present.

If Helena’s continuing to speak, it really should be all in one paragraph.

Where, you didn’t indicate she’d actually come to stand in front of a door to swipe her key into.

Did she enter the code?

It gets tedious with how often you use “Mister Evans.” I think using it more sparingly and using “he/him” more often helps avoid that problem

So yesterday she was upset when about five guys talked to her like this but now she, a virgin who has a friend she looks down on for sleeping with men for stuff, is ready to go? I think this is inconsistent characterization. However, if you are going to have him seduce her into taking the deal, he’s going to have to think more sweeping her off her feet and seduction and less a dirty letter to “dear Penthouse.”
 

You probably don’t know this but “Pretty Baby” is also the name of a movie starring Brooke Shields when she was 12 about a literal child prostitute. It might be best to have him call her by a different pet name.

This kind of gives me the image of a dog in heat. Maybe a different motion?

I know he was concerned with the image for boarding passengers but what would be the point of a sculpture on a runway?

Is he a vampire? Does he have supersenses? I don’t think a regular man could smell that other scent, the one of arousal in a woman.

I don’t think you mean sassy here. Maybe curvy, maybe amazing, but sassy really talks more about attitude.

Do all the stewardesses have to take it? She was originally hired just to be a stewardess. Also, how fast does birth control take effect? If it was only a day, even if she just started, it wouldn’t have been long enough.

Now, I’m honestly curious/confused. Do all the women on the airline have to be on birth control to please customers cause that seems implied here.

To be honest, I don’t understand how “fat” she could be if she literally has a 23 inch waist. She basically sounds like she has the perfect va-va-voom figure. Some actual BBW women might be a little offended by a 40-23-35 woman being described as heavy with boobs that might already be sagging but thankfully aren’t.

She’s started thinking about him as “Thorn” now so just keep that consistent in her mind and perception

I”d drop this phrase. It’s a bit scary and kind of a gross image

Again that sounds more painful than erotic