“What?” Mia’s small voice says, her watery eyes wide.

“Don’t,” Brandon’s eyes find mine from across the table. “I’m not sure what happened when I left, but this entire feud is stupid. If Mia wants to be with Grady, then leave them be.”

“No, Brandon. I’m getting this out.” I sit back down and take Mia’s hands in mine. “The night of the accident. I’m the reason for Brandon’s fall.”

“No, you weren’t.” Brandon fights against what I’m about to say. “Stop it, Grady.”

“I can’t keep it in anymore.” I look from Brandon to Jan. “You’re right, I don’t deserve your daughter and you shouldn’t trust me with another child of yours.” Then I concentrate on Mia again. “You know we’re competitive, Brandon and I?”

She nods, fear in her eyes.

“I challenged him to do a trick I knew he couldn’t land.”

“Grady,” my mom sighs.

“Fuck that, I would’ve done the same to you,” Brandon says.

“Why?” Mia asks.

“Because, I wanted to be number one.” The truth, my truth slips out so easy and simple that it’s hard to imagine why it took me this long to admit it to everyone. “I knew it was dangerous for him to try it, but I let him. I didn’t back down and tell him not to do it. I pushed him to give it a go, knowing he’d probably end up hurting himself.”

The table is quiet, waiting for me to continue. My eyes prick and I blink rapidly. “The reason I never went to see Brandon was because I couldn’t even stand to look at him because of all the guilt and shame I had. When they said he would never snowboard again, and I was the cause of it, I just couldn’t look at him without hating myself for what I did to him. I was a chicken shit and it seemed easier to stay away.”

“But...”

I place my finger on her lips. “Mia, you’re beautiful and these last few weeks, you’ve pulled something out of me…a hope for a life outside of all this. I’ll never forget our time together.”

Her gaze falls to her lap. “Your mom is right, I’m not the right guy for you.”

I stand up, leaning down one last time and kissing her cheek. “Don’t doubt yourself up there, you’re a talented snowboarder, love the sport and everything else will follow.”

Walking away, I head out of the ballroom. Time to pack up my gear and do what I do best. Train. I can’t be Mia’s number one, but I can be number one on that podium.

---

After packing my bags and hightailing it out of the hotel, I head back to the slopes. The lights are on which means others are there, but at this point, I don’t give a shit about lines.

As I get closer, there’s only one person still up there.

Matt Peterson.

Waiting for him to finish up, I strap on my board, position my goggles and prepare for my turn. Once he’s off the pipe, I press play for the playlist on my phone. It’s been the same soundtrack I made up a week ago, but when the first song begins, it’s not the one it should be. Having no time to check it, I go with it, thinking I must’ve pressed shuffle by mistake.

I drop into the pipe, the lyrics of the music taking me far away from my tricks, the beat a tad slower than my usual. By the time I reach the end, I already know that I didn’t put this on my phone.

Taking off my gloves, I grab my phone out of my pocket, and when I see what’s on the screen, it’s like a knife piercing through my heart.

Slow down, Killer, with a heart emoji is listed as the playlist name.

“That was a killer set,” a voice says next to me.

Matt stands at the edge and out of all the times we’ve been thrown together, we’ve never really had a conversation.

“Thanks,” I say.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at some sponsor party?” he asks, grabbing his board and starting to walk up the pipe so I follow along with him.

“I need to train if I’m going to be first.”

He laughs, his head falling back. “Do you ever have fun? Actually, scratch that. I think I heard a rumor about you and Mia Salter.”

I nod. “Guess the rumor mill is running behind.”

“Over already?” His eyes widen. “Story of us athletes, huh?”

He straps himself to the board, and positions his goggles. “Let’s see if I can land this trick.”

He moves into position, and I sit down with the board strapped to my feet, watching his set.

Damn, he really is good. He gets to the end and again, he can’t hold it completely, his hand stretching to catch himself should he fall backward.

Instead of taking a ride myself, I wait for him up on the hill.

“You’re not going?” he asks.

I shake my head. “You’re coming down wrong.”

“No shit,” he says, but doesn’t seem completely against me helping him.

“As your coming down, stay heavy on that back foot.” I stand up. “Watch how I come down this time, it might help you.”

He takes my spot on the snow and I insert my earbuds, playing another song that Mia put in my music library.

Just like the previous one, the lyrics keep my mind busy, the beat making it easy to stay in my groove. The last trick I do a 360 with a smooth grip. When I come down, I try to mimic what I want Matt to do.

After gliding to the bottom of the pipe, I wait to watch him. He slides down and drops into the pipe, flawless like every other time. All of his tricks looking like gold material and then he gets to the last one and he lands, not perfect, a tad wobbly, but he didn’t fall and his hand never reached down.

“Fuck yeah!” His hands are in the air before he reaches me. “Thanks, man,” he says, unclipping from his board. “All this time, and damn, it felt so right as I came down.”

I smile a genuine grin, even knowing I gave my biggest competitor an edge over me.

“Do it again, I bet after a few more times, you nail it.”

He nods his head, looking over my shoulder. “Why?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t want to stand on that platform claiming gold unless I earn it.”

“What they say about you is wrong,” he points out, a laugh already floating out of his throat.

“Do I want to know what they say?” I ask.

“Probably not, but you’re not the selfish prick they say you are.”

I laugh, nodding my head in agreement. “Don’t tell anyone.”

Matt disappears up the hill to come back down.

“No, but you are a fucking idiot.”

I look behind me to find Brandon, Dax, and Beckett all standing there in their suits and dress shoes.

“What are you thinking?” Dax shakes his head, his jaw cocked to the side. “You just served yourself second place.”

I shrug. “Then that’s where I deserve to be.”

Brandon stays quiet, a smile playing at his lips.

I leave the pipe, rounding the edge to meet up with them.

“I’m proud of you, man.” Beckett slaps me on the back.

“I’m not. This isn’t how we roll. You don’t help your competition,” Dax chimes in and my eyes meet Brandon’s gaze.

“Yes, they do. We’re here to help one another. If you can’t beat them then they’re better, plain and simple,” I say.

“You’ve lost your mind. First you throw away Mia and now you help Matt Peterson score gold.” Dax throws up his arms. “I need a drink.”

“Me too,” Brandon says, nodding in the direction of the bar.