Chapter 16—Through the Pipes

Brick sighed and sat up in bed. He needed to get some sleep before this insomnia affected his game. He glanced at Amelia looking so sweet and content as she reached for him in her sleep. Unable to find him, she hugged his pillow and sighed happily. He grinned, feeling on top of the world and his game.

He was happy, too. For the first time in a long time, his happiness didn’t depend on my how many different women he’d banged that week, the points that had or hadn’t been scored against him, or the anticipation of the next party. He’d discovered something about himself.

He was happy being with Amelia and Macy and a few close friends. Matt hung out more and more at the condo, or he hung out at Matt’s. The kids played relatively well together, with Macy being the boss, surprisingly. Then again, she was his daughter.

He waited for the novelty of this new life to wear off, for the feeling of claustrophobia to set in, along with a restless need to barhop or screw every female in sight. After all, he was a playboy, and eventually he would tire of this domestic game he’d been playing.

But when?

He’d been certain that without the partying he’d be lost and alone, but he’d been lonelier when he was partying. He didn’t need to be a partier to have friends. He just needed to be himself.

Brick made an appointment later in the week to look at that houseboat, which appeared to be the closest he’d come to what he’d wanted, and he planned on taking Amelia and Macy with him. He needed a woman’s opinion on the interior and shit like that.

Rolling to his feet, he stood and stretched, then walked to the door and out onto the deck. The night was cool, with wet mist clinging low to the ground and blocking any view more than a few blocks away. Brick leaned on the railing and stared out into the haze.

He could change all this in an instant. Go back to the life he’d had and the man he’d been.

Freedom was close enough to taste, only it didn’t taste like a warm chocolate brownie, it tasted almost…bitter—like crappy cough syrup. Maybe he didn’t want his freedom. Perhaps he was freer when he had people who cared for and depended on him? But that made no fucking sense. He’d never signed up for this, never wanted anyone to depend on him outside of his teammates. He’d always craved independence, no encumbrances, the ability to do as he pleased and answer to no one.

His mother would come for Macy in a little more than a week and surround her with love, stability, and family. She’d want for nothing.

Except a father?

Being raised by doting grandparents would make up for his lack of involvement. He’d still spend a few weeks every summer with her, maybe take her to Disneyland or something.

So why was he hesitating, if this was the best thing for everyone? What the fuck was wrong with him?

He pounded his fist on the railing. Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his short hair and rubbed a kink out of the back of his neck. He hadn’t wanted a child. Not now. Not when he was still in his twenties.

Yet something held him back from revealing his plans to Amelia or Macy. Macy would need to prepare for being abandoned again, and Amelia needed time to find another job.

He was a cowardly asshole. Still, he couldn’t dismiss the nagging suspicion there was more to it than that. He had plenty of time to mull this over before he made his final decision, and until then there wasn’t anything to tell. No point in dealing with two emotional females for longer than necessary. Nor did he want either of them to attempt to talk him out of it if he chose that route, not that they would.

The patio door slid open and closed behind him. Amelia’s arms encircled his waist.

“Macy loved her presents, and she loved seeing herself on the big screens.”

“Yeah, she did.” He’d bought Macy a pink Cinderella comforter for her bed and six new model horses. It hadn’t seemed like much, but she loved them. Thinking of how much her face lit up lifted his spirits a bit.

“You were incredible tonight. Did I tell you that?”

“Were you referring to the game or the sex?” He craned his neck to see her face. She smiled up at him, her eyes brighter than the streetlights below.

She squeezed him tightly. “Both.”

“I figured as much.”

“I don’t know how you manage to fit that ego of yours in your helmet every night.”

“It’s a tight squeeze.” He turned around and kissed her, not in the mood to talk. Talking led to tough shit he wasn’t willing to analyze yet. He was in the mood to forget his worries and the decisions he’d be forced to make.

“I was thinking about the holidays, and when we should get our tree. Macy has never had a real tree. It’d be a treat if we picked one out at a tree farm and cut it down. Also, we should figure out our Thanksgiving plans. I’m not welcome at my brother’s, and my mother is going somewhere with her boyfriend.”

He stiffened and stared at the mist beyond his deck. Guilt rendered him speechless.

Amelia’s face fell. And she backed a few steps away from him. “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume we’d spend the holidays together. My bad.”

“It’s not that.” He rushed to head her off before she did something to make him feel like even more of an ass, like cry. “I have a lot on my mind, and I guess everything sneaked up on me.”

“Okay.” Her voice quavered, and she swiped at her eyes.

“Ammie.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. “I do want to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with you.” But wanting and doing were two very different things.

“Okay.” Her lower lip quivered.

“Come on. You’re freezing. Let me warm you up.” He threw her over his shoulder, a move that had her giggling and playfully pounding on his back.

“Let me go, Martin Bricker.”

“Not until I’m done with you.”

Whenever that was.

 

* * * *

 

Something was wrong with Brick. Nothing horribly obvious, but he seemed distracted. Amelia didn’t push. Whatever it was, he needed to work it out himself, and he wouldn’t appreciate her nagging him, though it killed her to keep her mouth shut.

Macy skipped ahead of them down the dock, dangling Simone by one hand.

“You shouldn’t let her do that,” Amelia warned him.

“Do what?”

“Run on the docks without a life jacket.”

“Oh.” He winced. “Macy, get back here.”

Macy twirled around and ran back to them. She stopped in front of Brick and chewed on her lower lip, while she raised a pair of big eyes to his face. The two of them sized each other up while Amelia held her breath. It was the moment of truth. Either Macy would rebel and run off, or she’d behave and stick close. Amelia couldn’t predict the outcome.

With a tentative smile, Macy reached for Brick’s big hand. He froze, caught off guard, but recovered quickly and engulfed her small hand in his big one. She beamed, lighting up brighter than the lights on a ferryboat at night. With his free hand, Brick grasped Amelia’s as if it were the most natural thing to do. Together the three of them walked down the dock. Almost as though they were a family.

The Realtor waited for them in front of the same two-story blue-gray houseboat with white shutters they’d discovered on their previous sojourn to the docks. Macy squealed with excitement and tried to run ahead, but Brick held fast to her hand. He arched a brow at Amelia, who nodded, and he grinned, insufferably pleased with himself.

They exchanged polite greetings as Brick introduced Macy and Amelia. They stepped inside and Macy pulled free, running from room to room, shouting with excitement.

The Realtor left them to look at the house on their own, saying he’d be back later to lock up, as he was meeting another client down the dock to see a different houseboat.

Since it was at the end of a dock, the home had views of the water on three sides.

“It’s beautiful.” Amelia said, turning a circle in the living room. Macy had discovered the window seat next to a gas fireplace and crawled onto it, pressing her face to the glass.

“Can we fish from our house?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Brick blanched, looking as if he were going to throw up.

“You don’t like this place?” Amelia asked, not sure what’d soured his carefree mood.

“It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for,” he said in an oddly mechanical-sounding voice.

“Is something else wrong?”

He shook his head. “No, not at all.” Whatever was wrong with him, he managed to push it aside and enjoy their self-guided tour. Perhaps he couldn’t resist Macy’s contagious enthusiasm. Or maybe he’d experienced a momentary bout of cold feet about this family thing he’d gotten himself into.

Amelia refused to worry about it. They went upstairs, where there were two bedrooms. The master had a small deck, and both had en suite bathrooms. The entire place had a seaside beach house feel, and Amelia loved it.

Macy raced back downstairs despite their shouts for her to be careful. Brick pulled Amelia into his arms and kissed her gently. His dark eyes searched hers, as if looking for answers. Only, she needed to understand the question before she could offer answers.

“What was that for?” She ran a finger over his short beard and gazed up at him.

“Just because.” He smiled, but she couldn’t help noticing a tinge of sadness behind his smile. “We’d better find her before she gets herself in trouble.”

Amelia nodded and reluctantly followed him down the stairs. Macy was dancing on the hardwood floor in the living room. When she spotted them, her face lit up. She ran to Brick and hugged his waist.

“I love it. Love it. Love it. Can we get it, please? Then can I gets a puppy? And a kitty? And a pony?” She grabbed his hand and twirled around. “Please, Daddy, please!”

Brick beamed at her and swallowed, at a total loss for words. He raised his gaze to Amelia, his eyes brimming with emotion.

The three of them were family, and if she had anything to do with it, that’s the way they’d stay.

She had a good feeling about their future together.

 

* * * *

 

The atmosphere on Thanksgiving at Ethan Parker’s house was chaotic and raucous, crowded with friends and family. Brick had reluctantly accepted the Parkers’ invitation to dinner after Amelia had begged. Macy needed a family Thanksgiving.

Ethan and Lauren’s turn-of-the-century Seattle mansion sat perched on a hill, overlooking Puget Sound. Ethan’s great-great-great-grandparents had built the home after making their first millions in the timber industry. The house had been passed from generation to generation. Ethan had replenished the family’s fortune by being an incredibly smart investor in tech and online retailer ventures and was one of Seattle’s most revered billionaires. He’d spent a hefty portion of that income building an NHL-ready arena and bringing a team to Seattle.

Despite its size, the stately old home was packed. The Sockeyes had games the day before and the day after Thanksgiving, which made it difficult for team members to go home. Ethan’s family, known for their generosity, invited the entire team to celebrate with them. Not only were most of the Sockeyes and their families present, but all three Wolfe brothers and their ladies were also there.

Ethan’s elegant, gray-haired mother bustled about with the efficiency of a well-oiled machine, directing the caterers, making sure glasses never emptied and appetizers never ran out.

The air was scented with the heavenly smell of turkeys in the oven. Booze flowed freely. Laughter rang in every corner of every room.

Macy was right in the middle of the chaos, running around like a wild child with Matt’s boys on her heels. At first Amelia tried to calm her down and make her sit quietly.

Lauren, Ethan’s wife and partner in all things Sockeyes, shook her head and winked at her. “You might as well give it up.” She grinned at Amelia. “The kids are fine. This house needs the sounds of children’s voices filling up all the empty space.”

“Pretty soon we’ll be adding our own to the mix,” piped up Emma Wolfe, the Seattle Steelheads quarterback’s wife, as she joined the group.

“You’re pregnant?” said Lauren and Amelia at the same time.

“Yes.” Emma beamed, radiant in her joy. Amelia forced a smile, even as a pang of longing for what she could never have pinched at her heart.

“Congratulations.” Something caught Lauren’s eye. “Oh, excuse me. I need to help with a few things.” She waved as she hurried off to talk to Ethan’s mother.

“How far along are you?” Amelia made small talk to the sweet blonde. She barely knew Emma, but she couldn’t help liking her. Emma had a smile and a kind word for everyone.

“Just three months. I don’t want the pregnancy made public until I’m out of the danger zone. I’ve had problems before, and Tanner is such a worrier. He’s hovering and fretting, making me crazy.”

“I understand that more than you can know.”

“Oh.” Emma regarded her quizzically. She glanced around. No one was paying any attention to them. She lowered her voice, her tone sympathetic. “Have you lost a baby?”

Amelia’s eyes filled with tears, and she nodded, choked up and unable to speak. Despite it having been a few years, there were moments when it felt like yesterday.

Emma stood and grabbed her hand. “Let’s take a walk outside. It’s cool but not raining.”

“Okay.” Amelia sniffled and wiped her nose with the tissue Emma provided. She linked arms with Amelia and waved at the guys standing in a bunch, drinking beer and swapping war stories. Tanner grinned at her, a lovesick fool and proud of it. Brick met Amelia’s gaze and nodded, his expression purposely neutral. No lovesick fool there. Brick wasn’t the type.

Outside, the chilly air was scented with the smell of salt water and the occasional lonely call of a seagull. Holiday music filtered out the open doors, reminding Amelia that Christmas was only a month away.

“Tell me all about it, sweetie,” Emma said as soon as she hustled them around the corner of the house to a small gazebo.

“There’s not much to tell.”

“Oh, I think there is, and I think you want to tell someone.”

Amelia never talked about losing her baby, her failed marriage, or anything that happened to her during those dark times. Going back was too painful and revealed a part of her character she didn’t want revealed even to herself. Yet something about Emma’s quiet acceptance and sincere concern made it easy to talk.

“I can’t have children. I’ve had a hysterectomy. I had complications with a stillbirth, and they didn’t have a choice. My then-husband left me as soon as he found out I was pregnant.”

“Oh, honey, that’s awful.” Emma squeezed her hand. Her sympathetic expression almost undid Amelia, but she managed to hold it together. Once she’d started, she didn’t want to stop.

“There’s more. He was legally married to a woman in Portland and had children with her. It was a hard pill to swallow and even harder lesson to learn. He ran up credit cards in my name and left me penniless, along with some huge debts I’m still trying to pay off. I discovered later he’d done this to several women, and I felt like such a sucker. I’d fallen for a smooth-talking, gorgeous scam artist.”

“Oh, Amelia, I feel for you. What a horrible thing to have gone through. I’m glad you have Brick and Macy, though.”

“I don’t know if I have them. Brick is noncommittal. He’s still struggling with losing his playboy lifestyle.”

“That surprises me. He seems fond of both of you. Guys like Brick who’ve established themselves in the playboy role have a hard time admitting they’ve outgrown the party lifestyle. Tanner didn’t, even after we married. Not until I left for Vegas did he realize how much I meant to him.”

“I don’t know what Brick is thinking. Sometimes I swear he wants us to be a family, others he’s rebelling against his responsibilities.”

“I think he’ll come around.”

“I truly wish he would.”

“Do you love him?” Emma studied her earnestly, and pity flashed in her blue eyes.

Amelia chewed on her answer for a long moment. Perhaps what she’d been feeling for Brick the last few weeks might well be love.

Amelia didn’t have a great track record of picking the right man or understanding what love really was. In her entire life she’d never picked the right man. Starting with her second-grade boyfriend, she’d fallen for the wrong guy every time and had her heart broken. She could still remember Dwight Pumpernickel giving her his sandwich at lunch and telling her he was going to marry her. She’d skipped home on cloud nine, her feet barely touching the ground. The next day, she’d gone to school expecting Dwight to sit with her at lunch. By the time she arrived in the lunchroom, Dwight was sharing his sandwich with Sally Martin, and thus ended her first love affair.

Things hadn’t gotten better after that.

She didn’t think Brick loved her. He might love what she did for him. He might love how she looked. He might even appreciate how many men’s heads she turned when she was on his arm, but it was all superficial. Nothing deep and lasting. The skeptic in her didn’t believe there was such a thing as love, only lust, and lust faded, leaving too many madly-in-love couples with nothing but bitterness and memories of how it used to be.

Maybe that was why she continued to pick men like Brick. They weren’t men to be depended on, and she knew they wouldn’t stick around, because she wasn’t worthy of the kind of love she’d only witnessed in the movies or read in romance novels.

And then there was the matter of children. She couldn’t have children. A guy looking for a serious relationship didn’t want to get mixed up with a woman who would never give birth to his child. Even a guy like Brick probably wanted a son who could carry on his hockey tradition. Amelia had to make the best of the cards she was dealt and find a way to get her rewards out of the children she’d be working with once she got her degree.

Emma reached over and patted her hand. “Are you okay?”

Amelia sniffed and rubbed her eyes, fighting back tears that threatened to fall like a dam breaking in a flash flood. “I have to be okay. This is my life, and there’s no changing it.”

“You could always adopt if children are important to you,” Emma said helpfully.

“I know. It’s definitely a consideration if the man I end up with is okay with it.”

“If he loves you, he will be okay with it. But I wouldn’t give up on Brick yet. I think there’s more there than you’re seeing, or maybe you’re afraid to see.”

“I guess anything is possible.” Amelia managed a wry smile, not wanting Emma to worry about her anymore. After all, she was a complete stranger to this kind woman, and Emma had her own family to concern herself with. Just as Amelia had a brother to worry about. In fact, she’d called her brother this morning to make sure he wasn’t spending Thanksgiving alone. He sounded stressed and miserable despite his words to the contrary and claimed he would be going to his in-laws’ house for Thanksgiving.

“We really should be getting back inside before Tanner sends out the hounds,” Amelia said. Emma cast one last look of concern Amelia’s way, and they entered the cheery, inviting home once again.

Amelia glanced around, looking for Brick, and caught him scanning the crowd. When he saw her, his face relaxed and a warm smile erased the worry from his eyes. He stole away from his buddies and up to her side.

“Ammie, are you okay?” He took her cold hands and clasped them tightly while he studied her face. His brows knit together, and he leaned forward to place a comforting kiss on her forehead.

She shot him her most brilliant smile and called forth all those years as a child beauty queen. “I’m fabulous and having the best time, but my glass appears to be empty.”

He narrowed his eyes, not believing her for a second, and nodded. “Let’s get something to warm you up.”

He followed as she made her way through the crowd to one of the many bars around the house. His hand rested gently on the small of her back in a manner both affectionate and possessive. She glanced up at him; he smiled down at her with affection in those deep brown eyes.

Suddenly, all her doubts and fears faded like fog on the water in a stiff breeze. She wondered if Emma had been right. Perhaps Brick, too, would give up his philandering ways and become a family man.

Deciding to stay positive, she took a sip of her wine and rubbed his arm. Grinning, he leaned forward, his mouth so close to her ear she could feel his breath.

“When we get home tonight, oh, the things I’m going to do to you, woman.” He slid his tongue around the inside of her ear to give her a little preview, and she shivered.

“I can’t wait.”

“Neither can—”

Macy ran up and threw her arms around both of them. Brick and Amelia both laughed and pulled her into a three-way embrace.

Yeah, this was going to be a good Thanksgiving.

It already was.