I could barely concentrate on the road. Hunter was buckled in the backseat and I needed to get him to the home before I had to explain why we were late. And why was that? Because I was falling for a notorious playboy? I was too busy flirting to be punctual?

I sighed, turning onto the dark street where I had to drop off Hunter. It was always the hardest part of my day. The worst. The saddest. The most heart-wrenching.

I put the car in park and walked around to Hunter’s side, lugging his school bag out for him.

“Ready?” I asked with a smile on my face.

He nodded. “I guess.” The happiness he had earlier was gone. He hated this part of the day too.

I wished things were different. I wished I had a way to adopt him. But I had been down that road. I couldn’t make it happen. With my salary there was no way I could afford the legal expense.

“I’ll pick you up for school in the morning, ok?”

I watched him walk up the stairs.

He didn’t answer and I felt the pain in my ribs. I wanted to drag him back to the car and take him home. Tuck him into a soft warm bed. Read him stories. Try to build Lego towers with him. Argue over what was going to happen in the next Star Wars movie. But I couldn’t do any of those things. Instead I was a single twenty-six year old woman who could barely pay her bills.

I had been so desperate I took that stupid job at Catch. I didn’t even have that anymore.

“Good night,” I called after Hunter.

He looked at me over his shoulder and my heart broke a little more.

“Night.” He walked up the stairs.

It happened every time I drove home from leaving Hunter. I felt like I had somehow let him down. It was stupid guilt again. I wanted to do more for him, I just didn’t know how.

I was going to spend the rest of the night looking for part-time jobs. I’d be a dog-walker. A plant-sitter. A night-time driver if I had to. I had to keep trying. I hadn’t made the right decision before, but I was going to this time.

I stopped at a red light and the thought almost slapped me in the face. It was as blaring as the red light.

How was I any different from Kane Hawkins? A man who made bad decisions openly. Me, a woman who swore she lived on the right side of morality, but slipped any chance there was temptation. Why was I so tough on the man all the time?

I knew part of it was to hide the side he had seen. I didn’t want him to think of me that way. Or did I?

Everything was muddled and confused.

I pulled into the parking garage of my apartment complex when I looked down and saw the number for the children’s home flash on my screen. I scrambled to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Jenni. Julie, are you still out with Hunter?”

It was stupid, but I looked at the empty backseat of my car. “No, I dropped him off twenty minutes ago. I watched him walk inside.”

I heard the alarm in Jenni’s voice. She was the night time coordinator. Over the past year I’d gotten to know her well enough that she trusted the arrangement I had with Hunter.

“He’s not here,” she stated

“What?” I gripped the steering wheel with my free hand. Had I seen him actually walk in the building? Did the door close behind him? It was such a part of our nightly routine one night ran into the other.

“Where did you look?” I asked Jenni.

“Everywhere. We’ve asked all the children. Checked the lounges, the dining hall, bathrooms. Nothing. We can’t find him. I’m going to have to call in an Amber Alert immediately.”

“Oh my God.” My stomach plunged to my feet. I thought I was going to be sick.

“Julie, what was he wearing today?”

“Oh-umm.” I stared at the steering wheel. “Jeans. I’m sure he had on jeans. And a T-shirt? I think it was red.”

“Ok. That’s helpful. I can let the police know. I have his height here. Do you have any suggestions of somewhere else we should look? Anything I could tell the police? Did he mention something today? Was anything off with him?”

I shook my head. “No. He had a great day at school and an even better day at clubs after school. He actually played with the other kids today. He’s making real progress with Kane Hawkins.”

And that’s when it hit me. I had an idea.

“Jenni, I’m going to make some calls. I’m going to start looking for him. Promise me you’ll call me when you find him. And I’ll do the same. I’m not going to sleep until I know he’s back in his bed. I swear to you.”

“I know you’re worried. I’ll let you know as soon as I have a lead. Thanks, Julie.”

My ignition was still running. I dug through my leather bag and held up the card I had received a week ago. It had all of Hawk’s information on it.

My fingers hesitated for only a second. I had to do this for Hunter.