What the hell had I been thinking? Oh, wait, I hadn’t.

The water beat on my head as I stood under the spray and berated myself for being so damn stupid. For allowing myself to be swept away by words. For succumbing to my needs like some desperate wanton.

My skin tingled, remembering the path of Josh’s fingers. It was as if he’d left a trace of energy inside me that popped to the surface like subtle reminders of where he’d touched me. 

I’d needed the touch of another for so long I’d ached with it. Burned with it. But what did that make me? Josh had given me a taste of my old life. But he wasn’t Trent. He wasn’t my husband.

Had I been so desperate to forget that I would have used any willing body? Had I needed sex that bad? I’d used Josh, and if it came down to it, I’d use him again.

“Ella?” He called my name from the other side of the door.

“Yeah?” I forced myself to answer him in an even tone.

“Dinner will be on the main deck at the back of the boat,” he said, matching my even tone.

I grabbed my loofah and body scrub. “Okay,” I answered, wondering how I could justify having a fling with him. And hoping like hell I wouldn’t lose his friendship in the end. He was a good guy. One of the better ones in my life. He’d at least made me forget for a little while. That was something to cherish.

A second later, I heard the door open, followed by the rush of steam exiting as the shower door opened.

I tensed when Josh stepped in behind me, but then he grabbed the loofah from my hand and proceeded to scrub me from shoulder to ankle with brisk movements that worked every bit of unwanted tension away.

What had we got ourselves into? I thought as his hands slid over my slick skin, eliciting a trail of goose bumps on top of my skin that also sent a current that tingled through every molecule of my body.

Once I was rinsed, he moved under the spray, making quick work of washing up.

I knew I should have left him to it and finished getting ready, but found I didn’t want to.

Josh was… magnetic. A presence easy to be around.

It helped that he was the exact opposite of Trent. Where Trent was hardened… seasoned, Josh had a boyish innocence to him. He was lean, muscle roped around bone that wasn’t bulky. The differences didn’t end there either. He didn’t have to be a dick to get what he wanted because Josh had charisma. His looks didn’t scream danger. Instead, he had the body of a swimmer, or even a basketball player.

He’d been trained, like everyone else at Cole Enterprise. He knew how to handle a gun. Knew how to handle situations without panicking. A lot of what he learned came from his first assignment with me in Barbados. He’d been greener than a field of grass on that trip, but he held his cool. Followed my lead, and we’d made it out alive. He’d continue to learn as the years passed by. In my opinion, would be one of the best recruits Cole ever brought in.

Sometimes, brains were needed in situations where brawn couldn’t be used.

The water sluiced over his body, and I fought the urge to touch him. Fought the need building inside of me again that tore at my willpower.

He pressed his hand against my cheek, eyes searching mine. “If you keep looking at me like that, we aren’t going to make it to diner,” he said, leveling a heated gaze on me.

I closed my eyes and blew out a long breath, trying my hardest to gain some control. “Sorry.”

“Sorry for what? I’m not,” Josh said, turning the water off and then opening the shower door.

It was time to lay my cards on the table. He needed to understand that there wouldn’t be anything more between us after the mission. I couldn’t allow myself the luxury or the pain of sharing my life with another man.

Sex was one thing. Feelings were another.

“Josh, it’s been a long time since I’ve been with a man. My hus—” My teeth snapped together on the word, and then I shoved it away. “Trent wasn’t the first man I slept with, but he was the last one and, like I said, it’s been a while. Men aren’t the only one with needs, and well, I—”

A shadow crossed his features. “You asked me to make you forget. Apparently, I didn’t do a good enough job of it.” He took a towel from the rack and handed it to me.

“I wish it were that easy,” I said, wrapping the towel around me.

His eyes closed for the briefest of seconds, then opened as he reached out and tucked a wet lock of hair behind my ear. “Me too.”

There were so many meanings inside those two words. More than I was ready to process in that moment.

I turned from him, fighting to regain my composure. Trent would have backed me against the wall and had me pinned while he dominated my feelings, overwhelming them until they shut down and I’d become the moment. It was always like that with him. An intensity that scattered every thought I had with no room for anything other than being with him.

But Josh let me feel. He let me wallow in my guilt, and then he gave me something Trent never had—space to think. To process the moment and make my own opinion of it. It scared me. It enlightened me. And I had no idea what the hell do with it, or what to make of it. It was like watching myself transform right before my very own eyes. But what would emerge from my self-encased chrysalis?

It didn’t matter. The mission mattered. Finding Trent and dealing with him once and for all mattered. The rest had to wait.

“You think shorts will be okay?” Josh asked when I came out of the bathroom.

My heart stuttered, jolted, and then thundered in my ears when Josh turned to face me wearing a shirt that said Surrender the Booty.

Just like that, everything snapped back into place and I laughed.

“What?” he asked, looking down at his shirt where I pointed. “Oh, shit, I just grabbed a shirt and put it on. I’ll change.”

“No. Leave it on. I like it,” I said, dropping my towel and moving across the room.

Josh stalked me with his eyes, but didn’t move from the spot where he stood.

With nostrils flaring, he clenched his hands into fists at his side and watched me dress. 

 I swept my hair up in a clip and added a touch of mascara, a thin layer of lip gloss, and a spritz of perfume before stepping into a pair of flip-flops.

Josh had stepped out of the bedroom while I finished getting ready.

I found him clutching the balcony, looking out over the water.

“Ready?” he asked, turning away from the endless expanse of water.

“Do you want to have some fun, Josh?” I asked, halting him before we made it out of our room.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, squinting at me as he asked, “What kind of fun?”

“The kind of fun that will annoy Allyson for dreaming up this wedding at sea,” I answered, smirking.

“And how will we go about doing that?” he asked, curiosity lighting his eyes, making them sparkle.

I winked at him. “You’ll see… Captain.”

He chuckled. “I think I like where you’re headed with this.”

“A pirate wedding?” Allyson repeated what I said, looking as if the words tasted bitter.

Summer chuckled, seeing the look on her sister’s face. “Lighten up, Ally. I think it would be fun.”

“Fun,” Allyson repeated, eyebrows pulling together. “This is what you want?”

“Nope,” Josh said, leaning forward. “It’s what I want. Ella said she didn’t care even if it meant getting married naked under a coconut tree, so long as the ceremony was short and the wedding night long.”

My cheeks flamed. Not from embarrassment, but from the joy of giving Allyson a taste of her own medicine after the peep show we got in the car the other day.

Allyson chuckled, shifting in her seat to look at Alex. “I think we have some competition. Okay, so where do we begin with this pirate-themed wedding?”

Josh caught my eye from across the deck where I’d moved to refill my glass of wine. “Well, it all starts when the pirate captain boards the ship and seeks out the most beautiful girl on deck to claim her.”

I stiffened, heat pooling in my limbs. “Josh.” It came out as a soft warning as he prowled the deck toward me.

“Ooh, I like this already,” Allyson said, head nodding as her eyes twinkled.

“Shall I continue?” he asked, winking at me.

My nerves settled a bit, knowing he wasn’t about to toss me down, give everyone a good show, and me another mind-blowing orgasm out in the open with a cheering section.

I smirked, giving him a slight nod.

Josh enthralled them with his story, so different than the one he’d spun for me. He had Allyson leaning forward, waiting for each word.

“Wait a minute… he captures her and locks her away, but doesn’t do anything to her?” Allyson asked, shaking her head with bewilderment.

“Of course not. What kind of pirate do you take him for?” Josh asked, waving his hand to stall her next question. “No, this pirate wants to be a better man. He wants marriage and little pirates to sail the seas with. He wants a wife to claim. One to be proud of, and the thoughts of ruining her reputation is too much for him to bear. So he waits, securing a priest. After saying their vows, he carries her off to sheath his sword to its hilt—his wife now the protective keeper to his treasure. The only true scabbard in which his sword will rest for the remainder of his plundering days.”

Allyson drank the remainder of her wine with an unsteady hand. When the wine was gone, she cleared her throat several times before speaking, and when she did, it was raspy. “Ella, you better marry that one quick so you can tell us if he’s as good a lover as he is at spinning a tale. Alex, I think…”

They stood together.

“We’ll see you tomorrow to start discussing the wedding plans,” she said as Alex scooped her off her feet and they made a quick getaway.

“Jesus, I think I just had my own orgasm right on the spot. You’re a good storyteller, Josh,” Summer said, fanning her face with a linen napkin. “Got any brothers?”

Josh stiffened, but only slightly. “Only child,” he lied, holding his hand out to me. “How’s the headache?”

“Creeping back, unfortunately,” I answered, using our earlier cover.

The passage to the back deck had been clear when we made our way to dinner. All we needed was a few minutes and we could set up another camera just outside the suite Allyson and Alex were staying in, which was thankfully down that same hallway.

Ten minutes later, we were back in our own room, bringing up the camera to check the visual outside of Allyson’s room.

“Looks good. We should get in touch with Oliver and have him run the relay through the system so that it’s monitored when we’re off the boat,” I said.

“Is it a boat, a ship, or a yacht?” Josh asked.

I tossed my hands up with a shrug. “You’re guess is as good as mine.”

He yawned loudly, and then shucked out of his shirt. His shorts followed. He looked at me as he pulled back the covers of the bed and said, “Grab the phone and I’ll call Oliver before it gets too late.”

I tossed the phone at him, noticing he’d kept his boxer briefs on. When he realized what I was looking at, he said with a knowing smirk, “Not until we’re married. What kind of man do you take me for?”

I smiled at him as he put the phone to his ear. He had no idea what he’d started, but he would soon enough.

His conversation with Oliver was a quick one once I stood in front of him stripping my clothes off piece by piece.

“What are you doing?” he asked. “No, not you, Oliver. I’m talking to Ella.”

My answer wasn’t needed. He had eyes of his own, and they were glazing over when I dropped my bra on the floor and then shimmied out of my underwear.

The call wrapped up immediately when Josh said, “Oh, damn. Ella just broke something. Gotta go.”

He tossed the phone on the floor and watched as I crawled up the bed and slipped under the covers beside him.

He turned to face me, and I asked, “What exactly did I break?”

“My concentration. What are you doing?” he asked, lifting the blanket to look at me.

“And what are you looking at?” I bantered back.

“The sheath to my sword,” he said, hauling me against him and joining us with one thrust.

“I yield. Do with me as you will,” I said.

He chuckled into my shoulder. “I love being a pirate.”