Very Bad Things

I nodded. “Yeah. I believe in soulmates, but it’s up to us what we do with it.”

“Have you ever had a moment you thought could be love at first sight?” he asked with a sly grin, like he already knew the answer.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“Are you going to tell me who it was with?” he teased, arching his brows at me.

“It wasn’t Cuba or Matt,” I said wryly, turning to look out the window as we passed my house. The lights were still on. Odd.

“I tried to be with Cuba, but in the end I couldn’t,” I said, sighing.

“You couldn’t because of Leo,” he said. “I was there the day you guys saw each other, and Leo looked like he’d been hit by a two-by-four. I couldn’t see your face that day, but I see you now. You never stop watching him, Nora.”

My heart stuttered, and I stopped breathing for a moment.

“He’s the one you had a moment with. He’s the one for you, Nora.”

I nodded weakly, not able to stop the tears that ran down my face. He pulled me over to him and gave me a gentle hug. “It’s okay, Nora.”

After a while, he scrubbed my head with his knuckles like I’d seen Leo do to him.

I pulled back to look at his kind face. “I wish you’d been my family,” I whispered, the emotional upheaval of the night catching up with me. “I wish you’d been my brother.”

He nodded. “If I’d ever had a sister, I’d want one just like you, Buttercup.”

“You gotta know when it’s time to turn the page.”

–Nora Blakely

WHEN WE GOT to the gym, Mila got in her car to go home. Sebastian insisted I come in and crash on their sofa since I was still buzzing from the shots. I agreed. He left me downstairs while he grabbed some towels from the linen closet to dry off his leather seats. When he went back outside, I headed upstairs to his room to change into some of his clothes.

I walked down the hall as Leo came out of his bedroom with his arm wrapped around Tiffani’s shoulders. Her fingers clutched the belt loops on his jeans, like she owned him. As I watched, she smiled up at him, looking pleased. Then Leo kissed her, just like he’d done with me earlier. Her hands roamed all over his back, pressing him close. She moaned a little as the kiss went on and on.

It. Broke. Me.

I stood there stunned, scanning my eyes over her mussed hair and inside out shirt. I closed my eyes, wishing I could scrub the memory from my brain. And as the truth of it sunk in, that he had fucked her right after kissing me, I felt demolished, like a bus that I’d never seen coming had collided with me. Bam!

I wanted to make myself disappear and pretend it had never happened. I didn’t want to remember the way her lips had clung to his, the way he’d kissed her back.

Our kiss had meant nothing to him.

When I opened my eyes, they were facing me, and Tiffani was staring, a satisfied smile on her face. “Oh! I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were back already,” she giggled, her eyes dancing.

I licked my lips and tried to catch my breath, feeling physically winded. I pressed my hand to my chest to rub away the pain that had settled there. I wanted to say something smart, but I couldn’t find my voice, and it felt a lot like when I was up on stage at the open house. Like the spotlight was on me, and I was losing it. Like there was a hush in the room, and all eyes were on me. But this wasn’t a panic attack; no, this was only my heart being shattered into a million tiny pieces, and I imagined that if I could hear it, it would sound a lot like Mother’s china as I’d smashed it. I swallowed and somehow managed to laugh, but it came out mangled.

Leo spoke. “Nora?”

I found my voice, barely, and it came out dull and lifeless. “Sorry, I didn’t . . . I didn’t mean to interrupt your after-you’ve-fucked goodbye kiss.”

She gasped and turned to look at an ashen-faced Leo, like she expected him to chastise me, but he was frozen, his jaw clenched tight as he stared at my face.

Numb, like I was on auto-pilot, I left them and went into Sebastian’s room. I rummaged through his clothes crazily, my eyes not really seeing the contents. All I could see was him kissing her, holding her. I found some old shorts and a shirt, so I took off my ruined dress and slipped into them.

Leo barged in the room.

“Can’t you knock, please?” I asked him, turning away and straightening my shirt.

“Like I haven’t seen you undressed before,” he said, shutting the door. His eyes roamed over me, his gaze landing on my now scabbed over elbows. “What the hell happened to you?” he demanded, striding over and reaching out for my arms.

I came to life, jerking away from him. “Don’t! Just don’t. If you touch me right now, I think I’ll be sick,” I said.

He visibly winced and stepped back. I wondered where Tiffani was. Had she left?

I picked up a brush from Sebastian’s dresser and attacked my hair, not noticing if the braid got out or not. My eyes were open, but my brain wasn’t processing. I was holding it all back, trying not to feel, trying to not let him see my anguish. I set the brush down and just stood there looking at myself in the mirror. Through the mirror, I saw Leo with his back against the wall, arms crossed, watching me. His body looked drawn up and tight, like he was barely holding himself in check. His sharp gaze kept trying to capture mine, but I’d look away. He’d avoided my eyes all night, and now he wanted to have a stare down? No.