Very Bad Things

He pushed off the wall and started pacing around the bedroom. “Listen, I’m sorry you saw that. You didn’t deserve it, especially after the kiss we had. But you and I . . . you have to understand, we can’t be together,” he said, stopping and standing behind me.

I checked my teeth in the mirror. I practiced my fake smile. I practiced it again and again. I counted the seconds down in my head.

“Nora, quit primping and say something. Anything,” he pleaded, coming closer to me. “Don’t ignore me.”

Falling for someone can be a lot like playing roulette. You don’t know what will happen when you place that bet, but you take a deep breath anyway and put all the chips out there. And when the ball spins around and around, you pray it lands on your number. Probability says you’ll likely loose, and in this game of love with Leo, odds were I would lose, too, but I had to try.

I was going all in.

I stared at him through the mirror. “Leo, I know it’s unexplainable because I barely know you, but being with you makes me feel good inside and happy. I’ve never had that. When I see you, I feel like I’m home. Like we’re pieces of a puzzle that have finally come together. And . . . and I think being happy isn’t about the big moments, like when you graduate from college or get that job you’ve been wanting. It’s the small moments that take your breath away and make you truly happy, like the first time you see your newborn’s face or . . . or when you meet someone who could be your soulmate.”

“What are you saying?” he whispered in a strained voice, breathing hard, like he was winded, too.

I turned to face him, trembling. “I shouldn’t have painted your car. I shouldn’t have stripped for you. And, I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted me back. No one does. So yeah, maybe I am a mess, but I do know one thing for certain. I want more little happy moments. I’m greedy for them. I want them over and over . . . and . . . I’m not going to get them from you am I?”

He paled, giving me his answer.

He was my Prince Charming, but I wasn’t his Cinderella.

He strode over and stood close to me, until we were almost touching. He cradled my cheek in his hand. Like he fucking cared.

I stepped away and wiped my face where he’d touched it. “Don’t act like you care when you don’t. Because if you did, you’d never have kissed me tonight and then turned around and fucked her. Just leave me alone and stay out of my business. For good.”

He looked dazed, not even listening. “Are you saying we’re soulmates . . . that you’re in love with me?” he asked, his eyes boring into mine.

I ignored him and gathered up my wet clothes.

“Nora, tell me the truth,” he implored, and I heard anguish in his voice, and I wondered why it was so important to him.

I nodded. “This is the truth: I’m done with you. I hope she makes you happy and—” I swallowed. “Goodbye, Leo.”

“She’s this beautiful chaos.”

–Leo Tate

“WAIT,” I WHISPERED, finally finding my voice, but she didn’t hear me because she’d already left, the click of the bedroom door sounding final.

I sank down on the bed and gripped the ends of my hair and pulled hard, trying to yank myself back to the present, because my head was still reeling from her words about love and soulmates. Did it mean that she loved me?

She’d never said.

Sebastian stormed into his bedroom, his legs eating up the ground to where I sat. “What the hell did you do to her?!”

I scrubbed my face with my hands.

“Leo?” he demanded, “Tell me what just happened in here.”

I sat there, feeling unbalanced, like someone had just turned my world upside down. Had I subconsciously wanted her to see me with Tiffani? To what lengths would I go to in order to push her away?

He shoved my shoulder with his fingers, like he wanted to start a fight. “I knew you’d do this. I knew you’d piss all over her.”

I stood up. “Watch what you say, Sebastian. You’re angry, and I get that, but back off,” I warned. “You’ve got no idea what’s going on between me and Nora.”

“I’ve seen how you look at her,” he said, shaking his head at me. “You’re the biggest fucking fool I know.”

I heard a noise downstairs and took off for the door. I knew it wasn’t Tiffani. I’d told her to leave as soon as I realized Nora had seen us.

“Is she still here?” I asked, not waiting for an answer, but running down the hallway. I stopped at the top of the staircase. “Nora!” I called out, but only silence greeted me. Cursing, I took the stairs two at a time until I was at the front desk. I paced around the foyer. Nothing. I went into the band room. Nothing. I checked the restrooms. Nothing. I ran outside and stood on the street, hoping maybe she was still in the parking lot.

“She’s gone,” Sebastian said, following me. “She ran out before I knew what was going on. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.”

“What happened to her tonight? Was she drinking? ”I asked hurriedly, remembering her wet clothes and scratched up arms. Visions of her car wrapped around a tree played through my mind. Shit, I had to find her.

He suddenly looked worried, his brow pulled down. “Yeah, early in the night she had some shots. Then she got into a fight with a girl.”

“Fuck,” I muttered, feeling the tingle of fear go up my spine at the thought of her drunk driving. I had to make sure she got home safe, and if I was honest, I wanted to tell her again how sorry I was. I’d said I didn’t want to hurt her, but it seemed like that was all I did.