The following week, Tori tried to keep her mind focused on work, but all she could think about was Miami. Amsterdam was the only time they went away together, and that was for debauchery. This seemed intimate.
This is something couples do.
No, this was his way of pulling her out of her funk, as she did him after his injury. Nothing more, nothing less.
At least Connor kept her distracted from the Scott train of thoughts. He texted her off and on over the weekend, flirting with her a bit.
He finally asked her out to drinks on Thursday night. Part of her wanted to say no—she was going away with Scott in a week—but the other part of her was angry. Why should she place her life on hold waiting for Scott?
Or you could just be an adult and tell Scott how you feel. If he reciprocated, it left them at an impassible fork in the road, and neither path was appealing.
One, he stayed in the field. He’d be gone all the time with her at home, lonely, missing him while he’s risking his life. Basically, the same rut they’d been stuck in the past ten years, upping the ante with commitment. Two, he leaves the field and gives up his career for her. Scott was so far out of her league, it was laughable. Sure, she was a hella fun chick when hiding behind the walls of her sexuality. What happens when those came crumbling down, the dust settles, and he actually sees who she is?
She mulled all this over as she rode the elevator downstairs to meet Connor.
A long, slow whistle sang through the air as she rounded the corner.
“Damn. You look incredible.” Connor’s steps approached her.
“Thank you.” She flashed a smile in his direction. She’d be lying if she didn’t still enjoy hearing that. Tonight, she opted for a pair of black, tight jeans with brown suede ankle boots and a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled casually. At least that’s what her color identifier app told her she was wearing. She made sure to leave enough buttons open to show a good amount of cleavage. She strategically reached for her sunglasses hanging between her double D’s to draw his attention toward her best assets.
His breath hitched in his throat. Worked like a charm.
“No.” He pulled her hands down. “Leave them off. You don’t need them. I like seeing your eyes.”
She shrugged, trying not to show the points he just scored in her expression. “If you insist.” She tossed them into her purse. “I’ll warn you, though, I’m not great with eye contact.” She flashed a wide, toothy grin.
Connor chuckled at her lame joke. “I’ll try not to take it personally then. Shall we?”
“Where are we headed?” She asked as he placed her hand on his bicep. The lack of fabric between their skin led her to believe he was in a casual T-shirt.
It was eating her up not knowing what he looked like. She Googled him but only came up with information about him in Indianapolis. Online bios didn’t include descriptive images if the individual was hot or not. She texted his info to Keith and asked for the lowdown but hadn’t heard back from him.
“I figured we’d go to Rustico, if that’s ok.”
“Sure.” She liked that place—unpretentious, good beer, and it showed he wasn’t trying to over impress.
When they arrived, Tori settled in and promptly ordered a mixed drink and a shot. The beer may be good there, but beer wasn’t going to cut it tonight.
“Starting out with shots?” He chuckled.
“Eh, shitty day.” She dismissed it with a wave of her hand.
“So, what is up with this shitty day?”
Images of Scott flashed like a movie reel in her head.
“Just boring work stuff.” Lies, all lies.
“Ok, so I guess I shouldn’t say my team was super impressed with all your ideas for the courtyard at my new building,” he bragged. Tori’d given him some input on how to make his complex more accessible. She sensed he was stretching the truth to flatter her.
“I forgot to ask. Where’s the building going to be?” Tori rested her chin on her hand.
He shifted a bit in his chair and let out a breath. “I’m not sure yet. We have several different lots we’re considering.”
She was going to ask more, but the drinks arrived. Connor ordered a burger, and Tori opted for the fish and chips, acceptable to eat with your hands and not too messy. They enjoyed small talk while they ate and ordered a second round of drinks.
“So, tell me how a beautiful woman like you has managed to stay single?”
“Well, the long, white cane isn’t exactly a pick-up magnet.” She raised a brow teasingly.
“Oh, come on now. I saw past that right away.”
“Well, it does weed out the assholes.” A smile tugged at her lips as she crinkled her nose.
“So yes!” He merrily slapped the table. “Good to know I’m not an asshole.” He laughed loudly.
Tori covered her mouth and giggled. Connor was funny and nice. She appreciated a good sense of humor, and she felt a twinge of a spark with him. It had been a long time since she felt that, and her heart did a little flip-flop. It was immediately followed by a wave of guilt as the image of Scott popped in her head. Her smile faded instantly.
He isn’t your boyfriend; you have no reason to feel guilt.
“You ok?” Connor asked
“Yeah.” Tori waved her hand. “I’m ok,” she lied.
As long as you’re on his hook, you’ll never be happy. Maybe it was time to let Scott go, but the thought of that made her chest tighten to where she could hardly breathe.
Tori snapped out of it. “Nah. Honestly, I just haven’t had time to settle down. Work was my life until I lost my vision, and I’m just now starting to get back to normal.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “Well, a new kind of normal.”
“What about before, no special guy?” Connor asked curiously.
Scott’s face flashed in her mind. God dammit, there he is again. The vague memories of all the other meaningless relationships followed. “Nothing too serious.” She could feel the effect of the second drink, a double, kicking in. “Just a few guys here and there, and then my final conquest that got me where I am today, the congressman.”
There was a silence for a moment as that hung in the air. Connor seemed speechless she brought it up, but she took from the way he shifted in his chair he knew what she meant. “I… Well…” he stammered.
“It’s fine,” she said flatly. “You’d find out eventually anyway. Googling my name would’ve brought up a slew of articles on the crash.” She let him off the hook. “I had a hunch you’d put it together when you started searching my work.”
“I didn’t mean to pry,” he said quietly. She could usually pick up on bullshit, but Connor was hard to read.
“I know. You were a gentleman not to mention it.” She sucked in a breath. “It was quite the scandalous story, though. Married congressmen killed in an accident, blinding the female passenger.” She took a large swig of her drink.
“Was he drunk like they speculated?”
“I felt fine. He seemed fine.” She took a sip. “Very bad judgment on my part, I suppose.” She rested her chin on her hand and twirled her straw with the other, pondering it all.
He reached out and stroked her hand. She accepted the gesture; it felt like comfort more than pity. “Were you and him close?”
Tori let out a huff. “Oh, God no. We only met that night. It wasn’t at all like the tabloids were making it out to be.” The media speculated Tori was the one he left his wife for and branded her with a scarlet letter for breaking up the marriage.
“From what I understand, he was a charmer with the ladies.”
She roared in laughter. “I was the one that charmed him, I believe. I had my sights set on him the minute he walked into the museum.”
“Really?” Connor sounded intrigued.
“Yeah. I thought it would be fun to see if I could reel him in since I’m not highbrow DC royalty.” She didn’t like to talk about the accident normally, but the truth juice she was drinking kept the words flowing, releasing her filter. She began telling him all about that night, all the way up until she climbed in his car.
“So, that’s how I ended up with Nathaniel Donaghue.” She left out all the sexual details that flooded her mind. “You can fill in the rest.”
“Do you recall much from the accident?” He gulped his beer.
“Bits and pieces, but not much. I suppose I should consider myself lucky. I nearly died.” She chugged the last of her drink. Thinking about this was making her want to drink even more. “I still get some nasty headaches, but other than the blindness, I’ve recovered.”
Oh, and you probably can’t have children.
He rubbed her hand. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to drudge all this up or pry too much.”
“It’s ok. People are naturally curious.” She waved her hand.
“Excuse me, Tori. I need to use the restroom.” She nodded as the bar stool slid across the wood floor, then he was gone.
Light footsteps approached her. “Anything I can get you?” the waitress asked.
“Yes, another double vodka cranberry please.” Tori knew it was a bad idea to drink more, but she didn’t care.
“You got it, sweetie,” she said and started to move away.
“Oh, and I have a question,” Tori said a bit too loud. She was considering breaking her number one rule and taking Connor back to her apartment, but she had to make sure he was her type first. Blind or not, she refused to sleep with an unattractive man. “The guy I’m with… Is he pretty hot, average, or someone I should steer clear from?”
The waitress chuckled at her vain question. “Well, honey, as pretty as you are, he is a good match.” She leaned in close enough where Tori could smell her fruity perfume. She had a thick west Virginia accent. She whispered to Tori, “Athletic build, not overly muscular, lean, strong, square jaw, and sparkling green eyes framed by trendy, black, square glasses, makes him look smart. He has a pearly smile, dark blond hair with classic good looks. She patted Tori on the arm. “It seems he’s pretty smitten with you.”
“Thanks. A girls gotta know, right?” Tori sucked in a breath.
“That’s right, honey. I’ll bring you that double,” she said, then disappeared into the void.
Scott’s phone vibrated across the nightstand. He glanced at the display.
Keith
Does this look like a dude that our Vicky would date?
Attached to the message was a photo of a man. Keith was right. He was not the type of guy Tori would go for, but she no longer had the option of choosing companions based on their appearance. This dude was plain and lanky, un-athletic, and wearing a stuffy blazer.
Scott
Well, it’s not like she’d know.
Keith
CALL ME.
He sighed, sat up in bed, flipped on the light, and called. Keith had no concept of the time zone difference between the two of them.
“Dude, listen. Tori can fuck whomever she wants. I don’t own her.” Not yet, at least. “She never gets serious. You know her.”
He reached over, slipped on his prosthetic, and wandered into the bathroom to take a piss.
“Yeah, yeah. She’s the cat who catches the mouse and plays with it until it’s dead, then saunters off to find more prey.”
Scott’s laughter bellowed off the hollow bathroom walls as a steady stream flowed into the toilet. Yeah, that pretty much described Tori to a tee.
“How many has she been with since I left?” Scott asked curiously.
“Why do you always try and pump me for info? You know, as much as I love you, I can’t spill Vic’s secrets.”
Scott chuckled. “Then why are we even having this conversation?” He flushed the toilet.
Keith breathed heavily. “I’m worried about her. She’s not been herself. This is some random man she met in the park named Connor Williams. Something about this guy is fishy. He just moved here from out of town, according to Vic. Apparently, he whisked her out of oncoming traffic when Vic thought she was being chased.”
“Someone’s following her?” Scott growled.
“Not exactly. I mean, I don’t know about the park, but…” Keith’s voice thinned.
“Keith?”
“I follow her every night until she gets on the metro,” Keith confessed. “To make sure she’s ok. She’d murder me if she knew. She heard me the other night, and I think I spooked her straight into this guy’s arms.”
“Dude, I asked you to keep her safe, not scare her shitless.”
“Now she’s drunk texting me that she’s going to take him back to her place.”
“Her place?” Scott raised his brow. Tori never invited anyone back to her place. Only him. He knew that was one of her many weird sexual rules.
“Ok, I’m on it.”
Scott hung up the phone and settled into his laptop. Connor Williams was an urban planner in Indianapolis that was roughly in his early thirties. There was no indication he relocated to DC, however there was no indication he hadn’t, either. If Tori Googled him, she would have no reason to doubt his story.
He eyed the architectural firm photograph that matched the one Keith sent. Not the type of guy who looked like he could boldly yank a lady out of the way of a moving vehicle, much less hold Tori’s attention for long. Keith was right, it didn’t add up.
If Tori had the luxury of perusing Instagram, she would have seen Connor was currently single—unless you counted the relationship he had going on with his cat. Seriously, who takes so many photos of their cat? Further research revealed the real Connor Williams was currently residing in Westville, Indiana in a cozy three-bedroom home.
So, either this guy had moved, and his records were not updated, or he was not Connor Williams.
Tori dating a random man in the park was stupid and reckless, especially now that she was blind. She’d always been wild. It was what he loved and hated about her. It drove him mad.
Years he’d waited patiently for the right time to come, for her to settle down. Now, once again, it seemed she was slipping through his grasp.
Tori’s double arrived about the same time Connor did. “Wow, another, huh? Really bad day, I suppose. At this rate, I’m gonna have to carry you back to your apartment.” His voice drooped.
“This is my last. Don’t judge.” He had a point, though. Her brain was starting to swirl, and she was sure that last sentence was slurred.
“I’m not judging you at all.” His words were soft and kind, almost as if there was much more than he was saying.
She liked Connor, and he seemed to like her. Tori’s mind swam. She thought of Scott, Chase, Connor, and all the other string of one-night stands. She thought of the baby she lost, her accident, and what she was doing with her life and the meaning of it all. Tori was so lonely and tired of games. Eventually, the drinks took over and drowned everything out.
Connor paid the tab and walked tipsy Tori back to her apartment lobby.
“Goodnight Tori.” He kissed her cheek.
She frowned and pouted. “Don’t you want to come up?” That’s what they always want, after all. Better not disappoint.
There was an awkward silence for a moment as he debated it. “I’m going to pass.”
Tori was a sure thing. Nobody, not one, had ever turned her down. I thought we hit it off. What the hell?
“As much as I’d love to, I can’t, on good conscience, come up tonight. You’ve had far too much to drink.” He took her hand, kissed her on the lips gently, and whispered into her ear. “I’m very sorry to do this to you. You’re a remarkable woman. Get some rest.”
Tori’s cheeks grew hot, but she tried to keep her poise. “Well, you’re a gentleman, Connor. Thank you for a great evening.” She pulled her cane out of her purse, unfolded it, and headed to the elevator. After the doors creaked closed, she leaned against the wall, pulling her cane close to her chest, letting out an exasperated breath.
Perfect ending to a perfect fucking day.
Her purse started to vibrate. Scott calling… Scott calling… her VoiceOver repeated loudly. Oh, the irony. A dry chuckle escaped her lips. The room was starting to spin as she fumbled for her phone.
“Your timing is impeccable, Scott,” she spewed out, her slurred words echoing loudly off the elevator walls.
“Woah,” Scott’s voice inflected. “Someone’s been drinking.”
The elevator doors opened. She moved forward with her phone in her left hand, cane in her right, swinging it back and forth, walking toward her apartment. She was sure she was a sight—drunk and blind wandering through the hall.
“I may have knocked back a few.” She tried to not slur her words and keep a straight line. “It’s been a fucked-up day, and I needed it.”
“Out with Keith?”
“Nah, just out.”
“Alone?”
“Went out with a friend…” She let that drip from her mouth.
She may have been drunk, but she had the sense enough to know he was feeling her out.
“What friend?”
Is he seriously asking me that? She fumbled at the lock on her door as she grew frustrated with him.
“Tori? Are you there? Please tell me you didn’t pass out in the hallway.” Scott chuckled.
“I was out on a date,” she spat quickly. “I’m allowed to do that, you know. Date.” She discarded her keys and cane by the door.
He breathed heavily. “Yes, of course you are.”
The truth juice flowing through her veins kept the words coming. “I met him in the park.” She caught him up on the story of being followed, embellishing a bit how he valiantly saved her from getting hit by a car. Yeah, she was playing dirty, trying to get Scott riled up.
“Jesus Christ, Tori. Why didn’t you call me?” Scott growled.
“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” She crawled under her covers.
“You need to get a service dog.”
Tori snorted. “Scott, Seeing Eye dogs aren’t attack dogs.”
He grunted. “I know that, but they can still sense danger.”
“I can’t. Not yet anyway.” She chewed on her nail. “It’s a long application process, plus a home study, and you have to have about a year of orienteering with a cane.”
He huffed. “So, who’s this guy who saved your ass from getting hit by a car?” She smirked in satisfaction that her little scheme worked.
“Do I detect a hint of jealousy from the man with the godlike hero complex?” The room spun around her, and her stomach began to churn with all the alcohol.
He grunted over the line.
“Why does it matter, Scott?”
“Are you seriously asking me that? You just so happen to run into this dude when you’re followed in the park? How naive are you, Tori?”
“What are you trying to say?” She got up and stumbled to her bathroom, hanging her head over the toilet, fighting the urge to vomit.
Scott sighed. “Tori, I don’t think this guy is who he says he is.” He came clean. Tori was gonna be pissed as hell at him, but she had to know the truth.
“Excuse me?”
“Keith sent me his photo. I researched him.”
“You what?”
He had a sinking suspicion this all led back to Nathaniel Donaghue somehow, but he wasn’t going to bring that up until he was sure. No use digging at old wounds.
“Is that what you do, just go poking into people’s past without their permission to find out whatever you want? I suppose that you’ve found out every last bit of dirt about me, and that, of course, explains why—”
“Tori, I’ve never looked you up. I swear it. I wouldn’t betray your trust like that,” Scott said softly.
Tori grunted through the line.
Scott paused for a moment. He suspected Tori had some skeletons lurking in her closet, but how bad were they? “Speaking of trust… Why were you dating Nathaniel? It doesn’t seem like you at all to date a congressman, unless you had something to gain from it. Did you?”
“I’m going to pretend you just didn’t ask me that,” she shot at him angrily.
“Do I need to pretend you don’t keep all kinds of things secret from me?” Scott barked back. “God, Tori, I feel like you’re my best friend, and yet, how much do I not know about you? You never let me in. It’s just like you to date a married man like Donaghue so you can keep them at arm’s length. What really happened with your dad that makes you so scared of getting close to anyone?”
She whimpered and he heard a sniffle. So much for not digging at old wounds, asshole.
“What else haven’t you told me, Tori?” he demanded.
There was silence on her end of the line, and he heard her hesitate.
“Well? What else is there I don’t know about?”
“Ok, you want to open up?” Tori shot back at him. “Alright. Let’s chat. Let’s have a nice long talk about Afghanistan and seeing your buddy blown to bits right next to you, the one you couldn’t save, the one that haunts you. What was his name? Jones, I believe. Yeah, that’s the name you yell out in the middle of the night.”
Ouch. She knew right where to hit him to make him buckle to his knees. Low blow, Tori. Low blow.
“Talk about secrets… You’re the one who has all the secrets. I sure as shit never know where you are.” Tori chuckled eerily. “I’ll handle this on my own, like always.”
He fought to keep his composure—he struck first after all.
“Nobody is after me, Scott. If someone wanted me, they could have me. I’m a pretty, blind girl living in the city. You may as well paint a target on my forehead,” she spat. “Connor,” Tori smoothly said his name, “was a perfect gentleman tonight. I even asked him to come up to my place, which, since I was drunk, he respectfully declined. Quite valiant, if you ask me. Like a knight in shining armor.” She sighed dreamily.
Scott closed his eyes, biting his tongue to avoid saying anything worse, knowing full well that was a dig at how they started.
I’m the knight in shining armor, not this fucker. She really was too blind to see how much he cared for her, how much he’d always cared for her.
He gritted his teeth, swallowing every ounce of pride he had. “Tori, please be careful. I don’t want to lose you.”
She emitted a low, eerie laugh. “You can’t lose something you don’t have, Scott.”
Her words gutted him. “Sex, love, relationships… It’s all just a big game to you. Just. Like. Always. Nothing ever changes.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Tori snapped.
“Meaning, how much more do you need to lose due to your recklessness? What? Your vision wasn’t enough?” He immediately regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.
She sucked in a breath on her end of the line. “Scott,” her voice waivered and cracked. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s time for me to say goodbye.”
The line went dead.
Scott missed the days where you could slam a receiver. He sat there for a long time, staring at the phone in his hands.
She truly was her own worst enemy.
He was angry, he was hurt, and he was frustrated with her, but he loved her.
He was done playing it her way. It was time to rescue her from herself. She wants a knight in shining armor? Well, bratty princess, I’m coming to save you.