CHAPTER 16
Dan was never so glad as when his doctor permitted Sloan to finally remove the IV from his right arm. In the last week, he’d made remarkable progress. He didn’t try and kid himself: it was her. Being with Sloan made him come alive in every possible way. He kept mum about how much he enjoyed getting bathed in bed by her. He knew her well enough to see she enjoyed running her warm, wet hands over his body with a washcloth as much as he did. Even when she covered his hips with a towel, his erection stirred. There was no hiding what he wanted from her.
By mid-morning, he was looking forward to the last bath she would give him. With his wound site healing nicely and getting rid of the IV, he was ready for his next big step. The shower. That would be tomorrow. Right now, he lay partially propped up, anticipating her hands upon him. Dan didn’t want her to wash his private parts. He made her leave, and he did it himself because he could see how flustered she became as his erection made itself known beneath the white, fluffy towel across his hips.
Sloan entered his room with a tray on wheels. She had an aluminum bowl filled with steaming water, several towels, and a soap dish. She looked particularly beautiful this morning, her hair like a sable and gold curtain around her face. They had shared breakfast together in the kitchen, and he’d been able to walk back to his room without her help for the first time. He was feeling pretty darn proud of himself.
“Last time,” she said, smiling a little as she brought the tray to his bedside.
“Yeah, I’m going to miss this.”
Her eyes sparkled with humor as she slipped a towel expertly across his hips, pulling the gown away from him.
“Will you miss it, too?” he wondered, watching her somewhat nervously adjust the towel. Just like before, his semi-erection was poking its head up for all to see. Dan saw yearning and wariness in her eyes, but also arousal as she pulled her gaze away from his covered erection.
“In some ways,” she admitted, a little breathless because he was using his low, sensual voice. The last week with Dan had been a new hell on earth for her. Sloan wasn’t immune to him in any way, as much as she tried. His groans of pleasure as she washed and dried him, made her go quivery inside. By the time she was done, the insides of her thighs were wet and slick, making her want to groan, but she bit it back. If she thought giving herself an orgasm would do the trick, she’d have done it—but it would never satisfy her.
Instead, it would just leave her aching for the real thing. Aching for Dan, for his hands on her, exploring her, sucking her nipples, making her scream as he brought her to orgasm. Every day with him was a special hell and special heaven. The gnawing deep within her was driving her crazy with need of him. And he was well enough that they could mess around and Sloan knew it—so did Dan. She saw that glint in his eyes. So far, he hadn’t touched her in any way. He looked at her but did not make contact, respecting her space. Right now, Sloan was ready to throw that space away and say to hell with it; such was her blistering need to have this man within her once more.
She kept the towel up to his waist as she lathered and washed his upper body. Her breath was shallow, and she swallowed as she gently patted him dry.
“I guess I’m feeling pretty frisky today,” he said, nonchalantly gesturing toward the towel.
“You must be feeling more normal,” she agreed, her mouth dry as she placed a large, warm towel across his upper body to keep him warm. She could feel Dan’s eyes on her, burning into her. Steeling herself, she went about her business of washing his right thigh. Both his hands were on the towel as if to keep it in place. He’d never done that before. But then, his erection hadn’t been full, thick, and long like it was right now. Sloan felt like jelly inside, remembering. Dan remembered, too. All she wanted to do was get away from him as soon as possible. He was such a sexual, sensual animal and then, as now, he affected her, made her want him. It was a connection they’d always shared, she tried to tell herself as she patted off his one leg, covering it up and then moving to the other side of his bed to wash the other one.
Dan was doing nothing to provoke any reaction from her. She was unable to even meet his eyes because she knew what she’d see in them. She was too much on the edge, a sex-starved woman who hadn’t had an orgasm in two years. No matter where she looked, she couldn’t disconnect with Dan’s quiet sensuality and powerful masculinity enveloping her.
“Thanks,” he murmured.
“You’re welcome,” she whispered, her heart pounding heavily in her chest. She tried to convince herself that to cave into her hunger for him sexually would somehow ruin any progress they’d been able to establish with one another.
“Just leave the stuff, I’ll wash myself.”
Dan sounded unaffected by what was going on between them. She knew, without a doubt, he felt her wanting him. The man was no fool.
“Yes, that’s fine.” She pushed the tray over to his right side so he could easily reach everything. “Call me when you’re done?”
“I will.”
She practically ran out of the room. In the kitchen, Sloan gripped the counter in front of the double sink. She was aching so much below that she didn’t know what to do. Running her fingers down her thigh, she moaned. Her jeans were damp. Dan had always made her feel like she needed sex—lots of it—hours of it. She had a fierce hunger that matched his. That’s why they were so good together. He satisfied her sharp cravings just as she did his. How was she going to last with Dan under her roof? Tomorrow would be a landmark day for Sloan. He was going to be able to go to the large bathroom and take a shower by himself. That was good. She wouldn’t have to keep touching him, washing him, feeling his muscles leap and tense as she ran her fingertips across them. No more towel tent to stare at, knowing how thick and long and hard he was beneath that innocent covering across his hips.
She moaned with despair as she opened her eyes and stared out of the kitchen windows. She’d made a terrible error in discounting their sexual lust for one another. Hers especially. Dan had been a gentleman. He never teased her or reached out to touch her in any way to let her know he wanted her. Was he being driven crazy too by them being in such close proximity to one another? Sloan felt as if the tables had been turned on her. She hadn’t expected to be so drawn to him, wanting him all over again just as she had four years earlier. No man loved her like Dan had, not before or since he’d walked out of her life. It was a terrible price she was paying. Her body had become a traitor to her even if she had compassionate intentions of helping Dan, of giving him that second chance he’d begged her for at the Red Sea.
*
“It’s ready for you,” Sloan called, standing in the doorway to Dan’s bedroom the next morning. She’d slept poorly and had erotic dreams all night about him loving her.
Dan nodded and said, “Do you know how nice it is to be able to get out of this damned hospital bed and not be imprisoned with that IV?”
She smiled sympathetically. “It’s tough,” she agreed. “How’s your pain level holding?” Since yesterday, he’d been on a pain pill tablet instead of an IV running in his veins twenty-four hours a day.
“I’m okay,” he said. “You sure this waterproof bandage will hold?”
“Positive.”
Nodding, he said thickly, “I’m going to enjoy standing under a hot shower and washing my hair…my body…”
“You start learning to appreciate the little things in life again, that’s for sure.” She heard the sudden emotion in his voice, the gratefulness, and she wanted to embrace him. Maybe he really was changing. Hope rose in her, right along with her need of him sexually.
Dan slowly sat up. Earlier, Sloan had placed his robe on the end of the bed for him. She’d also loosened the three ties to his gown so he could take it off when he wanted. She watched him closely because it was important he didn’t overdo it too soon. She was almost disappointed that he wasn’t semi-erect today. It was then that she realized he was naked as he sat up, his back toward her. Swallowing in a gulp, Sloan thought he’d wear the robe over his gown. Dan started to struggle as he lifted his left arm.
“Wait,” she pleaded, hurrying into the room, “don’t keep reaching upward. You could harm yourself.” She came around the bed, and as he lowered his arm, she slid the robe sleeve over his hand and brought it gently up and over his shoulder. “There,” she breathed worriedly as she drew the edge of the robe across his naked upper body. Dan couldn’t bend over yet or lean down with his wound. He was fully erect. Her whole lower body glowed with heat and desire at that moment as she stared down at him. She was so close to him; she could reach out and twine her fingers around his cock, feel his satiny warm length, his hardness. Sloan dragged in a jerky breath. With effort, she got the robe closed and the sash lightly tied around his waist. Stepping back, that gnawing ache was ramping up until she was almost in pain, she watched him slowly slide off the bed. Dan was a large man physically, and the last thing she wanted was for him to get light headed and faint. He stood there for a good minute, hand gripping the side of the mattress, getting his bearings.
Once she had turned on the faucets to the shower and gotten it to the temperature he wanted, Sloan made sure everything was easily within his reach. Dan would not, at this point in his healing, be able to bend down or twist sideways. “Do you want me to wash your back?” she asked, watching him slowly untie the sash. The folds of the robe slid open, his erection standing proud for both of them to see. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen Dan naked. Still, she couldn’t meet his eyes.
“That would be nice,” he rumbled. “Can I call you when I’m ready?”
Ready? If he’d given the least hint he wanted her in that shower with him, she no longer had the strength to turn down such a request. His jaw was set, and she saw lust in his eyes, standing powerfully before her.
“I’ll leave the door open,” she said, and turned around and left.
Sloan leaned against the wall, near the opened door. She wanted Dan to touch her, suck her. She felt unmoored, floating, a big ball of lust begging to be played with and teased. She wanted Dan to ease that awful pressure she felt in her lower body.
So lost in her own hunger, she lost track of time until she heard Dan call out.
“You can come in and wash my back now.”
“Coming…”
Coming. Oh yes, she wanted to come. The glass-enclosed shower was steamed up, Dan’s naked body barely visible in the fog. She grabbed a dry washcloth and opened the shower door. His back was to her. He had the most beautiful ass she’d ever seen on a man. It was tight and thickly muscled. She gulped, tearing her gaze from those cheeks. Hurriedly, she washed his back, starting at his shoulders and working her way downward.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, focusing on scrubbing his back.
“Really good,” he rumbled. “Better than I thought I would. Damn, this hot water makes me feel halfway human.”
“Good,” she whispered. Quickly rinsing him, she stepped back. “Do you need help getting out?”
“Naw, I’ll be okay. You can go. I feel so good that I’m going to dry myself off and try to climb into those clothes you left out for me. I’d like to get the hell out of that gown and robe.”
“Don’t overdo,” she cautioned. “Call me if you need me.”
Sloan left but kept the door slightly open. She knew he wouldn’t be able to bend over to dry his legs or lower body. Sure enough, as she peeked through the opening, she saw him grimace as he tried to dry off. Finally, she stepped in. “Dan, let me help you? You’re pushing too hard, too soon. You don’t want to rip those stitches inside your body.” He stood with the towel gripped in his right hand, looking like a beautiful Greek god come to earth just for her. Sure enough, his erection stirred.
Forcing herself to concentrate, Sloan quickly dried him off. She asked him to sit in the small chair so she could help him get dressed. His hair was still dripping, and she took a small towel, quickly drying it and his nape. She felt him twinge a little, knowing that was an erogenous zone for him. Picking up the comb, she drew the damp strands into place.
“Sloan…”
Her head snapped up, and she stopped breathing for a moment, drowning in the stormy look his eyes. “I want to kiss you so damn bad I can’t stand it anymore,” he rasped, his fingers tightening around her arms, holding her those inches away from him. “Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you, Sloan? It’s all I’ve thought about for the last week. I promised you I’d try to treat you as my equal. I’m asking. You need to tell me what you want from me?”
She placed her hand on his shirt, feeling his powerful chest beneath, the pound of his heart against her palm. She’d been so alone, abandoned for so long, without the touch of the one man she’d needed more than life, and it rendered her incapable of thinking clearly.
“Yes or no, baby?” he growled.
It was impossible! It was so unfair that her body turned traitorous against her. “Yes…kiss me, Dan,” she heard herself whisper. The moment he curved his lips against hers, she collapsed lightly against him, trying to be aware he was still wounded. Slipping her hand around his shoulder, she caressed his nape, his mouth becoming powerful and commanding against her opening. A deep groan of pleasure rolled through his chest. Sloan allowed her breasts to barely graze him, the nipples suddenly hardening to sharp peaks begging to be further seduced.
He kept one hand on her upper arm, the other cupping her cheek, angling her expertly, gaining full entrance to her eager lips. Dan had seen Sloan fighting her need for him over the week. He’d seen it in her eyes. How many times had he wanted to reach out, tunnel his fingers through her hair, and pull her mouth toward him and take her, just as he had so many times before? And she’d loved it, his need for her matching her own intense desires.
This time, Dan knew it had to be different. He couldn’t arbitrarily take Sloan as he had four years earlier. She’d been like a willing, hot-blooded sex slave to his whims and lusty appetite then. Whatever feelings he had for this beautiful woman, he was going to show her he was trying to change to be what she needed him to be. He’d asked to kiss her, and that was all he’d do. She kissed him with eagerness, with such hunger and need, he felt himself starving to please her. He tore his mouth from hers. If he didn’t, Dan was going to tear that blouse of hers open, pull her breast out of that bra she wore and capture one of those hardened nipples, pulling it deeply into his mouth. Sloan was particularly sensitive in that area, and he gloried in teasing her, sucking her deeply, making her so wet that sweet, thick honey flowed out of her small, tight entrance. He could almost taste her, wanted to taste her, wanted to eat her until she screamed with the need of release as he sampled and stroked her beautiful body.
Breathing harshly, Dan watched her through slitted eyes, feeling the pain of his erection. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes drowsy with arousal, her lips swollen from the power of the kiss they’d just shared. He continued to cup her cheek, feeling her quiver. It was a sign of the need for her to have an orgasm. Dan had never forgotten how Sloan’s body reacted to his lust for her.
“Dammit, Sloan, don’t deny yourself to me. Let me ease your pain, baby. I know how much you’re hurting.” He searched her eyes. She could hide nothing from him. Not when it came to sex. He felt her fingers dig into his shirt, saw the flit of agony she was trying to hide from him.
“Let me help you. Do you think I’m going to hold this over you? I can see you need me. I can give you the relief you want. Let me at least do that for you. You owe me nothing, Sloan. It doesn’t mean I own you. It doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to be a better man for you.” He caressed her lips, feeling her tremble. It was then that he realized that those same intense feelings he’d held for her were front and center right now. He didn’t know what to call them, except that he swore he could feel her raw need of him. She had suffered so long without him, and they’d had something so beautiful. Good sex with the right partner, as Dan had found out too late, was one in a billion. And Sloan was here, in his arms, giving him a wild, confused, hungry look.
“Give me your answer,” he demanded harshly. “I can’t stand to see you like this. It’s not necessary. Let me help you…” Dan could still see her trying to fight her body, fight what occurred naturally between them. It was more than lust. The hunger he harbored for Sloan burned down to his soul and enclosed his heart.
“Your wound,” she whispered unsteadily.
“Don’t worry about it. No gymnastics today, baby. I intend to get you on your back, and I’ll make damn sure you get the relief you need. Let me help you for once?”
He’d never kissed her that way before, and yet, it was exactly what she’d wanted from him. Now, he was offering to ease that awful ache between her legs. Before, Dan would have dragged her off to the bed and had his way with her, not asking her what she wanted or needed. He had always taken, never given. When they had sex, he came first, climaxed, and only later, would he attend to her needs.
It spun Sloan into a quandary she’d never expected. She felt if she gave into his request, she was reverting to what they were at Bagram. That all the progress, the rules she needed to open her heart to this man once again, were part of this terrible choice.
Her body made her decision, and she whispered brokenly, “Help me, Dan.” She couldn’t think anymore, lost in that powerful sexual heat of her own body that had been starving for so long for Dan. She didn’t blame him at all. As she shakily undressed, she could no longer think.
“Lay on the bed, Sloan. I’ll join you. I don’t need my clothes off to do what I’m going to do.”
Dan came around to the left side of the bed and lay on his right side, his hand moving her thighs apart, she closed her eyes. He was going to touch her. She moaned, her back arching as his fingers grazed her wet entrance. She couldn’t stop calling his name, turning toward him, wanting his fingers to magically touch her, capture that swollen, hurting knot at her entrance. “Hurry, hurry,” she cried out. “Please, Dan…please…”