Chapter Fourteen
Tessa
The first half of my day was spent filling out paperwork, going over what will be expected of me on a daily basis, and meeting the people I’ll be working with. I was thankful for all the distractions. They’ve kept me from thinking of Matthew too much, but he lingered along the edges of my thoughts though, bringing a smile to my lips.
Finally, noon arrives, and I lean down to take my purse out of the drawer of my desk when a tap on it brings my attention up to the woman standing on the other side. Claire, my new work mate, and the one who occupies the desk right next to me, smiles at me. “Hey, Tessa, we’re heading to Lloyd’s for some lunch. Want to join us?” I dig my phone out to check for any missed calls. My shoulders fall a little when I find there’s nothing from Matthew like I’d hoped.
Looking up at her, I smile. “Um…yeah, that’d be great.”
Me, Claire, Rita (the older lady who runs the office) and Angela head out for lunch. Angela hasn’t necessarily been rude to me, but she hasn’t gone out of her way like the rest of the ladies in the office have to make me feel welcome. And then there’s the way—several times during the day—I caught her staring daggers at me.
When we pass through the doors, I hear Angela gasp, making me stop. I follow her line of sight and sitting at the bottom of the steps is the most mouthwatering thing I’ve ever seen.
Matthew sits on his bike. The longer part of his hair is messy, but sexy. He has a cigarette in one hand, and the other rests on the handlebars. He stands when he sees me and I take him in from his boots, up his long, strong legs, to the black leather vest he’s wearing over the tee stretching across his broad chest.
He smiles when I step to him, but he freezes when Angela walks up beside me. “Hello, Matty Boy,” she coos, making me sick with her desperate tone. I throw a glance over at her, then back to Matthew, and watch as he shifts from one foot to the other, completely uncomfortable with the situation.
I feel the same way, but I see he’s waiting for me to react, so I step to him, threading my arm through his. “Angela, you know my boyfriend, Matthew?” Her eyebrows fly up into her over bleached hair and her mouth forms an O.
“Boyfriend?” Her shock at the news is even more present in her tone.
I feel Matthew pull me into his side and I look to find his hazel eyes fixed on me. And, as always, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman he sees. “Yeah.”
She collects herself. “I’d heard you were seen out with a mystery woman this weekend.” She has her bitch tone on full effect. Clearly, the gossip mills Matthew had warned me about has made their way around this tiny town. Her actions, from earlier, weren’t lost on me. It made me think back to the conversation Matthew and I had had last night. The one where he told me I would run into his conquests. I’d blown it off, never thinking the first day of my new job I would do just that, being slapped in the face with it.
I would be lying if I said the hint of the fact Matthew had been with her like he had me, bothered me more than I would like for it to, but it does. I tuck the feelings away, not wanting to jump to any conclusions until I speak with Matthew.
Rita calls to us. “Ladies, are we doing this or what? I’m starving.” Rita and Claire stand across the parking lot, looking at us in bewilderment.
“Angela, you go on. I’ll catch up,” I tell her, dismissing her from the vicinity of Matthew.
When she finally moves away from us, I turn to Matthew and smile at the pensive look his features are twisted up in. The left side of his lips curves up in a half-smile. I go up on my tiptoes and give his lips a kiss. “I’m not gonna say anything right now,” I whisper against his lips. Because let’s face it, what the hell can I say? He’d warned me it would happen, and if we’re going to continue this, I’m sure it’s going happen again. “But we’ll discuss it later.”
“I think my balls just crawled back up into my body,” he says, brushing his nose against mine. I giggle at his description.
“No worries. Just as long as she got the message and I’m the only one you’re fucking,” I say, trying to mask my worry with humor.
He wraps his arms around me, lowering his face to mine. “I promise, my manwhore days are over.”
“So why are you here?” I try to put a bit of space between us, but he’s not having any of it and pulls me back to him.
“Thought I would take you to lunch.” He says cocking his head to the side.
“Great. Just not Lloyd’s,” I say glancing back over my shoulder to the ladies who are walking into the bar.
“Agreed.” He offers me his hand, leading me to a smaller sandwich shop further down the street from the popular eatery and bar.
~~~~~~
We settle into a small table with our sandwiches and drinks, and even though I’d acted calmly on the street, the more time that passes, the more my stomach twists up in knots.
He reaches and takes my finger away from my mouth, not even realizing I’d been chewing on the nail. “Tessa, I’m sorry about that.”
I look at him and digest his words. The look on his face tells me he’s being sincere, and he truly is sorry for the encounter, and the fact that I’m going to have work with the woman.
“You’re sorry that you froze? Or that I’m working with her?” I ask as I study the best way to pick up the large sandwich, not wanting him to see the uncertainty in me.
He takes my chin in his fingers and pulls my face to his. “Don’t do that, Tessa.”
“Do what?” I try to act innocent, but it’s too late. He saw it.
“Act like it didn’t bother you.” I feel him take my legs and pull the chair I’m sitting in closer to him, I look up at him as he takes my sandwich from me and lays it back into the paper lined basket. “Yes, she’s one of them.” He waits a beat, and when I stay silent, he continues. “One night, bad decisions were made and she happened.” It eats at my insides to think of him being with Angela, or with anyone but me for that matter. The fire of this unfamiliar feeling burns through me. At some point, I’ll have to acknowledge the name of the feeling, but I don’t have the right to feel it now.
“And that’s how they all were?” I ask again, not sure what else to say, or if I really want to know the whole truth about him.
“Not all of them are like her. Most can get the hint I’m done with them and can leave me alone.” He looks almost pained with the admission. The Matthew I know would never be rude, would he?
I swallow hard and chew my lip before I speak. “Is that all? She just wants more?”
“They all want more, but I have nothing more left to give them, ’cause it’s all yours.”
~~~~~~
Matty
I hold my breath, hoping she understands the words I’ve just said to her. I don’t have a fucking thing left for any other woman except for the one sitting right in front of me. She lifts her hand, resting the palm on my cheek. I lean into it and kiss her wrist lightly. “Another thing while I’m spewing truth,” I say.
“Yes?” She has a slight hesitation in her voice.
“Aerial.” She looks at me, confused. “The woman from the restaurant Saturday night.” She nods her recognition. “She came by the garage this morning.” She lifts her eyebrows at me, but still stays agonizingly silent, her face impassive. “I found her in my room, naked, waiting for me.” Her eyes grow wide and I can feel her tugging back from me, but I don’t let her. “I didn’t do anything. I made her get dressed and leave. She isn’t coming back, and the boys are aware of it too.”
I see worry in her beautiful green eyes, and I hate the fact that I’ve put it there. “Can I ask you to do one thing for me, Tessa?” Hell, I’ll get down on my knees and plead if I have to. “Tessa?”
She nods. “Yeah?”
“Please, if this were to happen again, come to me first.” We sit in silence, just staring at each other, and with each passing second, the want and need I have for her grows. She could’ve blown up and made a scene, or just walked away. She had the right to do both, but that’s not what she did. She controlled the situation and handled it like a true lady. But I fear this is only the beginning of her being bombarded with the fact that I’ve been unable to keep my dick in my pants for the past two years.
And the fact that she works with Angela is a whole other shit storm that after today, and how she had simply dismissed the woman is going to hit the fan faster and harder than either of us are prepared for.
“Please, Tessa?”
“Like I did today?” Her voice is soft and her eyes unsure.
“Yes, just like that. Please, always give me a chance to explain.”
The silence closes in and the busy restaurant and people around us falls away as I wait for her to understand. I want this, and even though my past will always be right behind us, it’s just that—behind me, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it poison what I could have with her.
“Okay.” She smiles and caresses my face. I kiss her palm and hold her hand as we eat our lunch with much lighter topics of conversation between us.
~~~~~
We walk back to the courthouse hand in hand, no sign of Angela anywhere. Thank God for that. But I could still see the apprehension on Tessa’s face of having to return to an office she shares with the vile woman.
We stop at my bike, and I want nothing more than to just throw her on the back and ride away with her sweet thighs tight around my hips.
“Thanks for lunch,” she says, looking up at me, then glancing back to the large marble building behind her. “I need to go back. Don’t want to be late from lunch on my first day.”
I pull her into my arms. “Have a great rest of the day, and I’ll see you this afternoon.” I lean in for a kiss.
She breaks the kiss with a beautiful smile. “And you’re so sure I want to see you again tonight?”
I lean in, my lips at her ear. “I know for a fact you do.”
She jerks her head back to look up at me. “Oh, really? And how’s that?”
“Because of the way you begged me to never stop fucking you last night.” I hear her gasp and her skin goose flesh. “Or this morning.”
“Matthew,” she scolds, blushing. It’s good to know I affect her just as much as she affects me. Even though I’m no longer a practicing manwhore, the skills I’ve perfected with all the other women are now directed and can be applied solely to her.
“You better get in before I change your mind.” I pat her ass, giving her one more kiss. We keep our hands joined until she steps away from me, far enough we have to break the connection. I stand and watch her put a little more swing in her hips as she climbs the few steps up to the entrance of the large building. The fact not being lost on me that even though she’d acted fine, her mind is full of doubt, and I’d just let her go back to a woman who knows enough to ruin everything.
I lean back against my bike and take out my phone to dial Eno.
“Yeah, man?” he answers.
“We have to find Tessa a new fucking job.”
“Really? Isn’t today her first day?” he asks with a laugh.
“Yes, and Angela works with her.” He goes eerily quiet.
“Motherfucker.” The panic I’m feeling is just as evident in his words. Angela could fuck things up between Eno and Josie just as much as she could for me and Tessa. “Did you say anything to Tessa about our time with her?” he asks.
“Fuck no. Have you told Josie?” I ask, knowing there’s been no need up until this point to bring up the subject.
“What the hell do you think?” He sighs. “How did Tessa handle her?”
“Better than I did,” I laugh. “I fucking froze when I saw her. Freaked me right the fuck out, but Tessa handled it like a pro. Let Angela know we’re together.”
“And are you two together?” he asks honestly, curious.
“Fuck yes,” I reply with the utmost certainty.
~~~~~~
Tessa
I walk back into the office with my head held high, ready for anything Angela has to throw at me. I’m not letting her pettiness come between the Matthew I know and the Matty Boy who had fucked her. I know they’re two different people. I got the whole man and she just got his dick.
But I feel there’s more to the story. I could tell he was holding something back, but I didn’t want to push, because to tell you the truth, I really don’t want to know. I’m full-on prepared for her to have her claws out, and she strikes me as a woman who doesn’t care that we’re at our job.
The rest of the day flows and I don’t see Angela again, but I have a feeling I haven’t heard the last of what went on between them. I won’t let her see how much their history bothers me, because those feelings don’t belong to her, they’re mine.
Yes, some of the blame can fall at Matthews’s feet, but it isn’t like he’s still doing or plans to continue the actions that have landed him his self-given nickname. And I can’t blame a woman for being a little crazy for not being able to hold onto a man like him. I would lose my damned mind if I knew I could never have him again.
He’s waiting for me when I reach my car, and all I can do is smile. The warmth at the sight of him starts at my toes and travels up my body fast, like a wildfire in a forest ravaged by drought. He leans against the passenger side fender of my car with a panty melting smile on his face. He reaches for me, taking me by my hips with his big hands, dragging me to him. I settle between his legs and lean into his chest. The smell of sweat and motor oil covers him, and it’s mouthwatering.
Any thoughts of today are gone. There’s nothing but us—right here, right now.
I bury my nose in his chest and inhale. “Mmm,” I moan and look up at him. “I love the way you smell after a day at work.” He makes my panties wet with want.
A low groan comes from his throat and rumbles through his chest as he rubs me back and forth against his ever-growing impressive erection. “We should get out of public right now.” He stands, taking me with him as he walks me around to the driver’s side of my car. Holding his hand out, he says, “Keys.” I place them in his hand, watching as he unlocks and opens the door for me. “Meet me at your house.” He ducks his head and gives me a kiss before I take a seat inside the car. He closes the door after he moves out of my space, leaving me wanting more.
My body is alive and it zings when I hear his bike come to life beside my car. He throws his hand up in the air, making a circle, signaling for me to follow, and I do. He leads me home, and the whole time I’m thinking about how his body feels when it lays on top of mine. The heat in his eyes every time he looks at me scorches my skin and brands my soul. I fall a little more every time I see him.
As I follow him, I take in his wide back and shoulders, his strong arms and long legs as they hold the bike up at the last red light before we leave the city limits. Although facing the truth had been difficult, I wanted Matthew more than I was going to allow the hurt at seeing how Angela looked at him had bothered me. But that was just one. How many more are there? And how many more times am I going to have to endure that special kind of pain?
The way Matthew had responded at seeing her kind of helped me get past the fact that he’d fucked one of the women I have to work with every day. He hadn’t even acknowledged her, his complete focus had been on me. And when I’d called him my boyfriend, he hadn’t shied away or corrected me, just pulled me closer to him. And in some small way, it was him reassuring me that he was done with that life.
He parks his bike and I pull in behind him. He’s off of it in a split second, stalking towards me with purpose. I don’t even have time to open my own door before he jerks it open and bends down to pick me up, throwing me over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. I’m face-to-face with a skull framed by wings, The Knights of Mayhem embroidered in black across the top, North Carolina along the bottom. A smaller patch to the side contains the letters MC.
I push myself up to watch his fine ass move under his jeans. “Matthew?” I shriek, but all I get in response is an ass slap. “What the hell has gotten into you?”
“I’m horny,” he growls at me. Using my keys, he unlocks the door and flings it open, then kicks it closed behind us before taking the steps up to my room two at a time. He tosses me onto my bed and begins to shrug out of his clothes. “Naked, now,” he barks at me. This side of Matthew is scary, and is an incredible turn on, making a sick thrill run through me. I jump to my feet and begin to quickly take off my blouse. I’m breathing like I’m running a marathon as I watch him tear his clothes off.
When he finishes undressing, he stops long enough to watch me slide my skirt down my thighs. He reaches out, snapping my bra off, then my panties follow. He stalks to me, leaving no space between us. He shoves his fingers into my hair. “Been thinking about fucking you all day, Tessa.” He dips his head, taking my mouth with his, shoving his tongue inside, and I part my lips letting this animal in.
He walks us to the bed as he continues to ravage my mouth. With his free hand, he reaches between us, running his finger through my wet folds. He growls against my lips. “So fucking wet for me. You been thinking about it too?” he asks. I answer with a nod, because I had been thinking about the things he’d done to my body and the way he makes me feel when he’s filling me with his big cock all day.
“On the bed,” he commands. The sweet-talking man from last night is gone and in his place, a beast laying claim to a woman who’s already his.
I scramble to the bed on my knees and he takes my head in his hands again, pulling my mouth to him. I reach between us and take his rock-hard cock in my hand and begin to stroke him. I feel him shudder against my mouth as the sensation of my hand on him rocks his body.
“Roll over and get on your knees.” I move, completely giddy. I hear the tear of a foil wrapper as I back my ass up to him. I feel his hands on my hips, then I jump as he smacks my ass. He runs his fingers through my slit again before I feel the head of his cock at my entrance. I scream as he slams into me. The dark side of Matthew Keagan has come out to play.
I lay my face down on the bed, unable to keep steady up on my hands. He’s pounding into me like he hates me. He reaches around and begins to rub my clit, and after a few strokes, my body ignites and I scream again as I come around him. He groans as my pussy squeezes him, the pleasure mixed with the pain pulls an orgasm unlike any other from my body. “Fuck, babe.” I’ve never enjoyed the rough stuff or being talked to like I’m a whore, but possessed Matthew is a different story.
He slams into me a few more times and pulls my ass back into him as he empties himself inside of me. I can feel his body jerking against me. He slumps over and kisses my lower back as he pulls out of me. I shudder at the pleasurable pain he’s created in me.
I slump over and watch his fine ass walk to the bathroom, my body still humming from the most intense orgasm I’ve ever experienced.
He reappears in the doorway of my bathroom and stops when our eyes meet. The fury and lust I had just seen there has been replaced with regret. I slowly get up and go to him, but when I reach for him, he steps away from me. “Matthew?”
He takes my outstretched hand, laying it against his chest and covering it with his. I feel his heart practically beating out of his chest. “What happened today?”
I can see the pain in his eyes, and I want to take it away and bare whatever burden he’s carrying that put it there. Before I can stop myself, I step to him and wrap my arm around his neck.
“Nothing happened,” he says, sounding a little regretful. “I just lost it and wanted to make you do it with my cock buried inside you, that’s all.” I know he’s lying to me. “Did I hurt you?” he asks, his eyes softening to the ones he had looked at me with last night.
“No, not at all.” I can’t keep the smile off my face feeling the delicious soreness between my legs.
He pulls me to him and walks me backward to the bed. When the backs of my legs hit the side of the mattress, I sit and scoot up the bed with him following me until we’re laid out naked next to each other again.
We lie facing each other, and his eyes are vacant. I’m searching them for something—anything that has caused him to shut me out. I stroke his forehead and his eyes slip closed with the soft touch, and eventually, his breaths even out as he drifts off, exhausted.
I watch him sleep, his hard features softening. I continue to touch him, not able to take my hand away. What a beautifully damaged man, the darkness in him matches the shadows in me.
Even though it’s just around six in the afternoon, I don’t want to leave him, so I drift off to sleep, smiling at the fact that he’d found his solace in me.
Chapter Fifteen
Matty
I’d gotten the phone call right before I’d left the garage this afternoon and it had sent me into a downward spiral. I’d taken it out on Tessa and her sweet pussy. Now I lay with her tucked into my side, fast asleep. The sun has been down awhile, and the dread I woke up feeling has only grown with each passing moment I lay here.
The things I’m going to have to do in the next few days hangs heavy on me. They’re things I haven’t had to do in a long time. But like then, they have to be done now. I’d brought all that shit home to Tessa. I knew I would have to address this issue eventually, but my hand has been forced and the shit must be taken care of now.
I hate to leave Tessa, but I have to, and I’m hoping she’ll understand my extended absence with no explanation to go with it. She moans in her sleep and snuggles down deeper next to me. I turn my face to her and bury my nose in her hair, smelling the sweet orchid scent of her shampoo.
I close my eyes, taking in the feel of her body next to mine, the warmth of the woman who took what I gave, then showed concern about what had brought it on. Her kindness is such a stark contrast to the man I’m going to have to be the next few days.
I try to get some sleep while I can, but my brain isn’t allowing it, so I roll Tessa to her back, waking her gently. “Tessa, baby,” I coo, drifting my lips softly over hers. Lying next to her has calmed me, but I know as soon as I’m away from her, the tidal wave of anger will crash back over me.
She stirs under me, and I feel her arms come up around me. “Hey, baby.” Her eyes flutter open, her voice thick with sleep. I had left the bathroom light on so she’s cast in a dim shadow, but enough light I can see her features.
“Hey, beautiful.” I kiss her nose. No matter how many days pass, I will never be able to kiss this woman enough. “How do you feel?”
She smiles. “Blissfully sore.” She smoothes her bare leg up my side, and I feel myself getting hard again as she rocks her hips up into me.
“Babe.” I have my doubts that she’ll be able to handle me after what I put her through earlier. “I don’t think you can,” I say, rubbing my dick through her already wet folds. “But damn, if you don’t get so wet for me.”
“Let me be the judge of that,” she whispers, rubbing up into me again.
How the hell could I turn her down when I’m gonna be away from her for at least three days? I push up off her and reach for my jeans. As I do this, she moves off me and I hear the soft sounds of music playing from a small speaker behind me. I turn to her, and she is smiling sweetly. “I’ve always wanted to do it to music.” The soft sounds of the song are familiar to me, but I can’t place it.
I grab her ass and pull her body back down the bed, but I’m just not feeling the song so I reach for her phone. “Hey.” I stop her from talking it by covering her mouth with my hand, that she promptly slaps away. “Don’t do that,” she scolds, but smiles at me.
“Just let me.” I thumb through her playlist. “Oh, shit yeah,” I say when I find a song. Selecting play, I lay the phone back down and listen to the low soulful opening cords of a deep guitar starting the first bars of “Tennessee Whiskey” by Chris Stapleton.
She lays down and I settle myself back over her after putting the condom on. I dip my head to her ear when the first lyrics of the song starts and I sing them to her. She stills under me, and I push into her tight pussy, feeling a shudder roll down my body, making us both moan. I continue to sing to her as I make love to her, slowly and softly this time. Taking the time to drink in the feel of her around me. She’s drifting her fingers gently up and down my back as she wraps her legs around my ass.
I take her hands, threading my fingers through hers to raise them above our heads, pushing them into the pillow. I lay the whole weight of my body on hers. “Shit, Tessa, you feel amazing.” I moan into her ear.
“Y—You too,” she pants as I roll my hips, letting my pubic bone rub against her clit. “There…right there,” she gasps as I pass over it then rub back, she lifts her hips to help pull an orgasm from her. “Fuck me, Matthew.” She bucks furiously against me, then screams and I slam into her and feel her pussy grip my cock like a vise. “Sing to me more, Matthew,” she begs, breathless.
I continue to whisper the lyrics into her ear as I draw the inevitable out for as long as I can. But the pleasure of being in her, with her, and owning her has me speeding up the pace right before I blow. I push so hard up into her, she screams again. No doubt from the residual pain I’d caused her this afternoon.
I quickly push up off of her and look down. “Shit, Tessa, did I hurt you again?” I search her face, worried I’ve pushed her too far, even though she said it was okay.
“No.” She smiles a lazy, satisfied smile, her eyes hooded with pleasure. “I came again with you when you did,” she mumbles, her words all strung together. I smile down at her and take in her beautiful face, committing it to memory. This woman has been in my life for three days, and now I’m leaving her for just as many and I’m already dreading it.
I get up to dispose of the condom in the darkened bathroom, then go back to her as quickly as I can. She’s restarted the song and snuggles in against me. “We have to eat sometime tonight.” My stomach growls right on cue.
“I could stand to miss a few meals, and as long as you’re naked beside me in bed, I don’t think I’ll need any food.”
I raise my head and look down at her. “What do you mean, miss a few meals?”
“My ass is huge,” she mumbles against me.
“No, babe.” I reach around, taking her sweet ass in my big hand. “Your ass is fucking perfect.”
“Well I’m glad you think so.”
“I do, and that’s all that matters.” I feel her nod. “You nap and I’ll order some delivery.” I kiss her before I leave the bed and hunt for my jeans. She’s asleep before I even leave the room.
~~~~~~
I search her kitchen for something to carry all the Chinese food I ordered up on so we can picnic naked in the bed. I find a large bread pan under the stove and pile all the little white boxes on, along with two tumblers full of ice and the bottle of Gentleman Jack I found in her cabinet. I stop and smile—my whiskey girl.
I push the door open with my toe and find her curled in a ball, fast asleep. I sit the tray at the foot of the bed, then place a knee down. Crawling up to her, I wake her for the second time tonight. “Baby, the food’s here.” She takes in a deep breath, the delicious smells of the food filling the air around us.
“How did you know that’s my favorite?” she asks, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with the backs of her hands. Her breasts are bare and on perfect display for me.
“It was the menu on top of all the others, and the one with the most stains,” I tease as I push my jeans off.
She smiles at me, her eyes on my body burning with just as much hunger as mine when I look at her. “We need to eat, so stop eye fucking me.” I take the tray, placing it on the bed between us. “But only while we eat, then you can fuck me some more.” I smile at her, wiggling my eyebrows. She blushes and lowers her head.
I point to the speaker with my chopsticks. “I see you like the song.”
She smiles. “You sang it to me. It will always be one of my favorites.”
“Good, because it’s one of my all-time favorites, I just needed someone to sing it to.” I shove a bite of rice into my mouth. She blushes even harder. I can’t resist, so I lean over and kiss her heated cheek.
~~~~~~
Matty
After another round of amazing sex, we’d passed back out. Now I’m awake again, looking at the clock. It’s five in the morning, and I’m going to have to get on the road. Her smile and body had pushed away the dread for a little while, but now it’s back, and the things I’m going to have to do are haunting me.
I pull her into my side once more before I rouse her again. “Baby,” I whisper, gliding my lips across her hair. “Babe, I need for you to wake up for me.”
“Not again, Matthew. I’m tired,” she moans.
I laugh. “Not for that, sweets, but I do need for you to wake up for a minute, okay?”
I rub my thumb over her cheek and she stirs a little, but not enough for what I have to tell her. She’s so fucking beautiful and good, and something I don’t deserve after the life I’ve led or the way I’ve treated women. But here I am, unable to leave her side, and not willing to leave her alone.
“Tessa, baby.” This time I’m a little more forceful. “Wake up for me.” I shake her a little bit too.
“It’s early,” she whines.
“I know, baby, but I need you awake.” Finally, after a few more nudges from me, she rolls and props her head on her hand. She stifles a yawn with her hand and blinks her eyes a few times before opening them fully and looking at me.
“What is it?” She trails her finger down my jaw and I close my eyes at her touch.
“I’ve got to be out of town for a few days.” This wakes her right up and she sits up, pulling the sheet around her body. I can see the distress in her eyes. “Not for the reasons you think. I’m not running away from you, I’ve got somethings I need to do for the club.” I’m not exactly lying to her, but I’m not telling her the fucking truth either. I can’t.
“What kind of things?” she asks, still a bit hesitant about my explanation.
“Can’t tell you that, babe. It’s club business, but I’ll be back in about three days,” I pull her onto my lap, “to continue this.” I grab her ass with both hands and squeeze it, making her squeal.
“When do you have to leave?” She props her elbows on my shoulders.
“Right now, in a few minutes. I’ve gotta go home and pack a few things then hit the road.” Her face falls and she pushes her lips out into a pout.
“Oh, well...” She looks around, unsure.
“Hey,” I say, bringing her eyes back to mine. “This is going to happen from time to time if we continue this. Don’t think every time I leave I want to, because I would love to spend every night in this bed with you until you kick me out. But I have a responsibility to my club and my brothers, things I’m gonna do that I can’t tell you about or give you explanations for.”
She chews on her bottom lip and I lift my thumb, pulling it from her teeth and running the pad over it. She puckers up and kisses it. “Can you tell me where you’re going at least?”
I shake my head no. “Sorry, babe, can’t do that either.”
“Why?”
“Plausible deniability,” I answer quickly.
“What?”
I pat her hips, smiling. “If you don’t know, you can’t be compelled to tell.”
“Like, by the law or something?” Her eyes widen and her eyebrows knit together over the bridge of her nose.
I shrug. “Or something.” Little does she know, she’d never have to worry about the law.
She purses her lips, deep in thought. She stays quiet for a minute, then asks, “What exactly are you in to, Matthew? Or can you not tell me that either?”
“I can’t, but it’s not what you’re thinking. We don’t deal drugs, run guns, or peddle pussy. So get all the thoughts you have from watching movies and TV out of your head. Just know it will never blow back on you, I’ll make sure of that.”
She draws in a deep breath, and I’m worried I’ve told her too much. “I’ll understand if you don’t want me to come back to you. It’s a lot to ask of you when you don’t even know me,” I say, trying not to let her see my disappointment.
“So this is what the others go through all the time too?” She asks and I feel my spirit lift a little. She’s still asking questions and not telling me to get out of her house and leave her alone.
“Yes, for years. So if you ever need anything when I’m not around, call one of the women. They can help you find your way through all the unknowns.” I let her know this so maybe she won’t feel so alone in the times that I’m gone.
“Okay…for now,” she adds the last part in a mumble.
“As long as I get you, I’ll take what I can get,” I say as I squeeze her hips. “Sorry, babe, but I gotta get going.” I don’t move, even though I need to get up and out of here to do the shit I’ve resisted doing for years. “And if Angela gives you any more shit at work,” I hand her one of our generic flip phones. “Call Eno, his and all the other’s numbers are programmed in this. He’ll take care of it.”
“Okay,” she says as she slides off my lap and back onto her side of the bed.
I reluctantly get out of the bed and dress feeling the weight of her stare on me the whole time. I turn to see resignation on her face and the fact her eyes are a little glassy.
I crawl across the bed to her, getting in her face. “Wait for me?” I ask, not moving until she tells me what I want to hear. Even if she told me to leave and not come back, I don’t think I could ever stay away. I would do anything within my power to get her back.
She lays her soft hand on my cheek. “Always.”
I tear myself away from her and leave her naked in a bed I’ve had more fun in, in the past three days than I ever had in the one at the clubhouse. Getting on my bike my phone vibrates in my pocket. Taking it out I don’t have to look to see who it is.
“Yeah,” I answer.
“It’s a go, brother,” he tells me.
“I’ll be there in two hours. Stay on him and call me if anything changes.” I end the call, tucking the phone back into the inside of my vest pocket. Looking back up at Tessa’s bedroom window one more time, I find her looking down at me. I give her a wave before starting my bike and pull out of her driveway.