Somewhere in the Darién Gap

Water, water everywhere—normally for a Navy SEAL that was heaven on earth, but in this situation, in this part of the Darién Gap it was hampering their movements.

The only other good thing about the incessant rain was that it also screwed with the slew of Clan Los Piratas or CLP who were on their tails.

Son of a bitch! Kid Chaos, aka Ashe Wilder shifted his gaze from the deluge outside the cantina’s door to the other patrons in the smoke-filled bar: no one here was going to stop them. Not some old whore that had seen better days or the two small kids—in a bar, no less. The only thing they would do was challenge him to a coloring contest, and he could win that hands down. His nieces could attest to his coloring prowess, not to mention how proficient he was at pairing up Barbie’s rad miniskirts with tiny heels. Yeah, he loved the ladies, even eleven and half inch ones with plastic bodies.

Of course, he would never admit to playing with dolls, and he much preferred the real ones to any child’s toy or blow up for that matter.

He moved over a seat and reached out. Cowboy was slumped in his chair, and Kid was getting real worried. He’d been going in and out for the last hour. Still dazed. They had ditched all their gear for these civilian clothes to better hide out from the CLP bastards that weren’t too happy they had just nabbed their second in command.

Just a few months back, Hector Salazar, who’d been bagged by Kid’s team, had given up Angel Nunez, his second in command. Angel had planned the murders of DEA agents who had gotten too close to their operation and even pulled the trigger on one of them. Hector was trying to save his own ass, and now they had both of the bastards by the short hairs.

That op had been fun, and it had brought together his LT, Lieutenant Bowie “Ruckus” Cooper with his fiancée, Dana Sorenson, a reporter and videographer who wrote and filmed on the human condition. She was doing a migrant piece in the Darién Gap, got herself kidnapped and held hostage in Hector’s stronghold until the team had rescued her and her crew.

Cowboy jerked when Kid touched his forehead. He’d slapped a makeshift bandage over the bullet graze, but Cowboy’s brain might have sloshed around in his noggin’ a bit from the RPG explosion that knocked him out.

He needed medical attention but first they had to get the hell out of here. Kid wouldn’t rest until he was out of danger and safe aboard the USS Annenberg.

“Where are we?” Cowboy asked, his voice low and strained. He blinked a couple of times.

“Hey, man. Welcome back.” Kid gave him a smile. “We’re in a bar in the middle of nowhere Panama.”

“Where?” Cowboy asked, looking around.

Kid realized that Cowboy had some memory loss. “We’re in the Darién Gap. We were giving Angel Nunez a one-way trip to prison.”

“Right. The mission. Did we get it done?”

“Yeah, man. Tagged and bagged. He’s outside tied up. But we got separated from the team, and you got hit by a graze to the head.”

Cowboy blinked some more, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard Kid right. “Outside?”

“Yeah, he carried you for miles with my weapon in his back, then we found a Jeep and it was smooth sailing all the way here. Except the Jeep was full of coke, and the drug runners were pretty pissed off.”

“Kid, you are fucking crazy.”

“Have we met?” Cowboy just glared at him. “All I know is this ain’t no damn garden party. Not a finger sandwich in sight.”

In spite of Cowboy’s condition, he laughed. “Dammit! When I have my head on straight, remind me to kick your dang ass.”

“Get in line, partner,” Kid said with a smirk.

“How about you?” Cowboy asked, his dazed whiskey brown eyes going over Kid’s midriff just above the tech vest’s waist strap where a red stain had spread.

“Yeah, we got friends on our tail, and they nailed me.” The blood on his “borrowed” T-shirt was nothing but a little nick. “Had to ditch the body armor for speed.” It had bled some, would need stitches to close, but it wasn’t going to slow him down one iota.

Cowboy swallowed, his movements slow. “Man, I ain’t going to be no help. I got my bell rung dang good. Maybe you should cut Nunez loose.”

“Don’t worry about him. We’re all getting out of here.”

With a strong gaze, Cowboy murmured, “I have no doubt about that.”

“Damn straight,” Kid agreed. They had their orders. Two SEALs caught in Panama adding insult to injury by snatching another one of Panama’s uglies was something the brass wanted under wraps. Not that Panama would cry a river over losing both Salazar and Nunez, but they would have to make some response and the SEALs didn’t like broadcasting their missions.

“I’m going to get us some chow and something to drink. Something really cold if I can manage it.”

Cowboy was taking a few minutes to process what Kid had said, then he nodded.

Of course, feeding Cowboy might not be the best course of action. He’d already puked up his guts on the way here. But he had to get something into the big man. He needed the fuel.

Kid walked up to the bar and said in Spanish, “Four fish plates. Energy drink?”

“Si, bebida energética.” The toothless bartender nodded. Kid held up his fingers to indicate six and grabbed the cans he set on the bar, flinching when his wound protested the twisting motion of his torso. With thanks to the bartender, he headed back to the table, the cans burning icy, the condensation wetting his palms. He brought one of the cans up to his forehead, the cold soothing. Such a small thing.

He left the bar, handing one to Nunez and the man he’d paid to watch him.

Cowboy was drifting when he got back, but still upright in his chair. “How you holding up?”

“I’m doing great,” Cowboy said with a flash of a grin. The man was tough as nails. Kid knew he’d grown up on a ranch, honed from riding fences and muscling ten-ton beef. A branding, riding, roping legend. He set the drinks down in front of Cowboy and popped the tops. “Drink up, bro.”

Cowboy reached out and set his big hand around the can making it look small and slim. He took a sip, then gulped some. “Don’t drink too fast. You need to keep it down. Are you still dizzy?”

“Some.” Cowboy wiped the back of his hand over his mouth.

Kid figured it was more than some. But nothing would slow Cowboy down as long as he had breath to move. Kid was the closest to Cowboy on the teams. They often did things together while on R&R. The Texan was as into extreme sports as Kid. With his steady whiskey eyes and his dark, thick hair, he looked to be in his late twenties. He had a wide mouth, high cheekbones and a deep-voiced drawl that made the ladies swoon. Kid was lucky he was cute, or Cowboy would get all the attention.

Cowboy had obtained his chief rating in three years. The rank was an honor. It was about service and required a peer review of master chief petty officers to achieve. That he had done it so young was nothing short of miraculous.

Where Kid was quick off the mark, Cowboy tended to be more thoughtful.

The good news—and there was some—was neither one of them had bullets in them.

“Do we have transpo?”

“Working on it. The bartender said there’s a crazy banana boat guy that comes along here. Come rain or shine, he’s working the river. We’ll have to squeeze in among the fruit but he can take us upriver as close to the LZ as we can get. We’ll have to hoof it the rest of the way.”

“Roger that.” Cowboy chuckled. “I think we can safely say the guy is bananas.”

Kid threw his head back and laughed for a couple of seconds. “You slay me, Cowboy.”

“Yeah, I’m good at the jokes,” he said with his deep, radio announcer voice.

The bartender called that his food was ready, and Kid went back to the bar. The fish still had their heads attached and he pinched them off, dumping them in the trash. It was enough that Cowboy’s gut was churning with nausea, he didn’t need to see a dead fish eye looking up at him.

He placed the plate in front of Cowboy, and he looked down at the meal. He swallowed hard.

“Want me to debone it for you?”

Cowboy gave Kid an amused look and said, “Sure, Mom. Thanks.”

Kid laughed and reached out for the plate and pulled the fish off the bone with his fingers. “Ewww, cooties,” Cowboy said with a grin.

He looked like hell and Kid’s jaw tightened. He wasn’t losing him. They’d been traipsing through the jungle for three days, then four hours of running full out. At first, Kid had been carrying Cowboy across his shoulders, and he had five inches on him and thirty pounds. Then, Nunez had taken over.

This quick rest was warranted, and Cowboy needed better first aid. Then they would put themselves in the hands of a crazy banana boat distributor. Kid liked crazy. He associated with crazy.

They would take their chances on the river, because it was certain when the CPL caught up to them, they were dead. Sitting in this lighted cantina was a calculated risk. The patrons kept shooting them wary looks. They might have ditched their gear, but no way were they leaving behind the lethal sub automatics they carried. Kid’s was in easy reach. They had both kept their side arms as well, a simplistic, but lethal weapon in their hands.

Kid was certain that these people were used to seeing armed men in this hole in the wall town. Nothing but a few rundown shacks in a muddy joke of what passed here as a road. They were also no friends to the CPL which really suited them fine.

When Cowboy started eating, Kid walked out of the bar and handed two plates to the man. Nunez glared daggers at Kid. “Here’s some food for you, Angel buddy. Eat up. We’ve got many more miles to go.”

The now leader of CLP spat at him. Kid crouched down to get at eye level with him. “Have some respect, you son of a bitch or I’ll carve you up into little pieces, keeping you alive as long as I can. Rules of engagement be damned.”

Nunez blanched. He tried not to show it, but he was a little spooked by Kid and that suited him just fine.

“I should feed him?” Nunez’s guard asked.

“Put the plate on the ground and let him eat like the dog he is for all I care.”

He went back into the cantina, pulling the first aid kit out of his pared down pack. He shoveled in fish and rice. Then he leaned forward, and Cowboy looked like the fish and rice weren’t sitting quite right. “Keep it together, compadre.”

Cowboy sat back, and Kid pulled off the bandage to his forehead. The graze was long and deep. Definitely would need stitches. He closed it with four butterflies, then pressed a waterproof bandage over it. Pulling out his knife, he cut the self-adhesive bandage in half and wrapped it around his head, pressing it to seal it closed. Cowboy moaned and his head dropped to his chest. “Come on, buddy. You can’t sleep on the job.” He smacked Cowboy’s face until he roused.

“I’m okay,” he said.

“I need you to stay with me. I know it’s hard and your brain is hamburger right now. But when that boat gets here, we’ve got to be on it. We’re running out of time.”

“Boy howdy. I can barely see straight.”

“Well, you’re going to have to cover me, so do the best you can.” As he argued with Cowboy, he was tending to his own wound, swallowing down his own hurried meal as he cleaned the graze the best he could, then slapped a bandage on it. Grunting and clenching his teeth as he curled the other half of the self-adhesive bandage around his torso. He wiped the blood on his hands with the napkins. He downed the last energy drink.

“What? I’m sure there are some guys on the teams who want to shoot you, but I don’t happen to be one of them. What if I kill you?”

“Then I’ll come back as a pissed off ghost and haunt your ass.”

“Kid!”

The bartender called out the boat was here. “Go time, big man.” He muscled his shoulder under Cowboy’s armpit and helped him to stand. Shoving his weapon into his hands, they left the bar.

And, it was go time. Men were coming out of the trees. He dropped with Cowboy, murmuring, “They’re at twelve o’clock. Spray your cover from ten to two.”

“Talk about shooting blind,” Cowboy mumbled, then said louder, “Where are you going?”

Kid pulled out his knife and said, “To even the odds.”

Kid was in full out commando mode. He was the only thing standing between Cowboy and his maker. Kid was determined the maker would have to wait just a bit longer for Cowboy’s soul. Currently, it belonged to the SEALs. When he was done with paring down the threat, he returned to Cowboy.

“You’re still alive.”

“You sound surprised. Never bet on the house,” Kid said. “Get up, Nunez.” His tone brooking no back talk. The CLP bastard rose, the makeshift rope around his ankles only allowing him to take normal strides. There would be no running for him.

Kid saw the boat pull up to the dock. Shoving his gun into Nunez’s back, he said, “Keep moving.”

When the banana boat guy saw them coming, he continued to unload his bananas in spite of the rain and the armed conflict happening right in front of him. Nerves of steel this guy.

More CLP burst out of the trees or they might have been the pissed off drug runners coming for the men who had taken their Jeep. It was a tossup. Didn’t matter, their bullets would kill them just as easily.

When Nunez hesitated, Kid put his boot into the middle of his back and kicked his sorry ass into the boat. He landed on the bananas. Gunfire ripped up the dock and without hesitation, Cowboy returned fire. He helped him into the boat and propped him against the dock. “You’re taking us upriver.”

The man calmly nodded. Geez, he was really starting to like this guy. “Let’s go, amigo!” As Nunez tried to fight his way out of the yellow fruit and Cowboy reclined in the bow, the banana boat guy motored them into the center of the river, in a downpour, sheets of heavy rain obscuring them from view as the darkness swallowed them up.

An hour later, he dropped them three miles from the LZ. Unfortunately, Nunez was hit in the leg which Kid had bandaged on their trip here. But he’d lost a lot of blood and was very weak. On shore, Kid dropped his pack as he shouldered both men. He heard the chopper before he stumbled into the clearing, weapons immediately trained on him by the steely-eyed men of his team: Ruckus, Scarecrow, Blue, Tank, Wicked, and Hollywood.

“Son of a bitch!” Ruckus said. “I don’t believe it.”

“Believe it, LT. Chaos reigns!” Wicked said.

“Geez, Kid what took you so long?” Hollywood needled.

“Screw you, bro,” Kid replied, his breathing labored.

“Fuck, Kid. You are my hero.” Scarecrow laughed and radioed the USS Annenberg.

Blue climbed into the helicopter. Tank, Wicked, and Hollywood rushed to him and a set of hands took Nunez and another set tried to take Cowboy. But Kid shouldered them aside, and he walked the last few paces, his legs burning and his body about to give out, to the waiting chopper and laid his team member and friend down. Blue slipped his hands under Cowboy’s shoulders and took his head onto his lap.

“Bullet graze. Concussion. Dizziness, vomiting, blurred and double vision, short episodes of unconsciousness, badass to the bone. His team members all chuckled. As Blue shined a light into Cowboy’s eyes, Kid sank slowly to the ground, but he didn’t make it all the way, his team caught him.

ONE MONTH LATER

Kid opened his apartment door and froze. Cowboy who was just behind him slammed into him. The place was empty except for a folding chair in the middle of the room.

“What the fuck?” Kid said, the shock of seeing all of Mia’s furniture gone, slamming into him like a high velocity round. Straight up head shot.

“She’s gone?” Cowboy asked.

Kid was trying to breathe around the pain and sense of loss crowding his lungs. He turned on his heel and slammed the door.

“Uh-oh,” Cowboy said at the look on his face.

It didn’t take him long to get to the mall where Mia worked as a buyer for one of the high-end clothing stores. When he got to the head of the store, she was coming out. A man greeted her, and they kissed. Kid felt as if someone had given him a shot to his solar plexus. Cowboy put his hand on Kid’s shoulder. “Kid, don’t. You could easily kill the guy, and then you’re going to jail. It’s not worth it.”

“It’s not his fault,” Kid gritted out, his eyes on Mia. The beautiful, soft Mia who had kept him going through all that shit that had gone down in the Darién, then the highly covert op that had followed shortly after that. Granted he’d been out of contact for months, but this…this was wrong.

He strode across the space that separated him from lovely Mia. When she turned, she saw him coming and her eyes widened, her mouth formed a perfect O.

“Ashe!” she said breathless as if she couldn’t help herself.

When he reached her, the guy turned to him. “Who is this?”

“None of your goddamned business. Mia, a word.” The guy dressed like a corporate lackey with his expensive suit and tie. Even though it looked like the bastard was in the dark, Kid wanted to deck him to release some of this explosive anger, the pain that was tying his insides up into knots. Even though he’d told himself never again, he’d gone and fallen in love with her. Now it was too late for any kind of retreat. He was completely caught flat-footed and dead in the water.

“Mia?” the suit asked, his perfectly coiffed features and his ruthlessly shaven face a deep contrast to Kid’s own shaggy black hair and dark stubble. He looked more like a street thug than a SEAL. He’d just come off deployment and the first thing he had to deal with was a bare apartment, and a Dear fuck you John message in that empty, echoing space.

“It’s all right, Chad. I’ll be right back.” There was confidence in her voice. Of course she knew Kid would never hurt her, even though she’d just torn out his guts.

When he went to move forward after Mia, Cowboy grabbed his arm and said, “Out of millions of sperm. You were the fastest? He had a relationship with her, amigo. So, back off for a bit.”

Even in civvies Cowboy commanded attention and Chad…Chad? Fucking Chad? What the fuck…backed off.

Her eyes went over him as if she couldn’t seem to get enough of looking at him. She raised her hand, but at the tightening of his jaw, she let it fall back to her side. “I’ve forgotten how beautiful you are.”

“I didn’t forget about you for a freaking heartbeat.” He shot her new boyfriend a derisive look. “Chad? Really, Mia. You could have had the decency to break up with me before you took up with him.”

“And, how exactly would I do that, Ashe?” She set her hands on her hips, her eyes snapping with both pique and pain. “You’re always gone, and when you’re here, there’s always the threat you’ll be called in. I can’t wait around for the rest of my life worrying about whether you’re dead or alive. You take such chances. You’re not unbreakable!”

“Yes, I am.”

She let out an exasperated breath. “I’m sure you think that’s some kind of SEAL mental exercise. But you can die just like anyone else. I can’t live with that. Losing you like that. I don’t have that kind of strength. I just want to remember what we had.” She looked over her shoulder at Chad, and Kid wanted to howl at the top of his lungs. “He’s easy, a banker. He has normal hours, and he’s good to me. I can make a life with him. We never really meshed except in bed. We were good there.” She rubbed at her forehead, closing her eyes at the memory. “So good.” At the flash, he grabbed her hand.

“You’re engaged?” The rock sparkled under the lights, and his heart shattered.

She bit her lip when she met his eyes, tears welling. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I tried to tell you the last time you were here.” She brushed at her tears. “You looked so tired and banged up. I knew I couldn’t handle it anymore. When he asked me out, I said yes and things progressed.”

“While I was fighting and risking my life for this country and you!” He couldn’t believe what was happening. This was the second woman in his life that was walking out on him. He closed his eyes.

The minute he’d seen her after BUD/S was over, Caitlin had become distant. He kept trying to tell himself that it was his imagination, but when he woke up two days later alone, her closet and drawers cleaned out, he knew.

He’d gone after her using their GPS app; he’d tracked her down and there on a lonely highway halfway to Virginia he’d caught her. She had told him she couldn’t and pressed the ring back into his palm. She said she wasn’t strong enough to handle his absence, the worry would kill her and kill their relationship. She would resent him, and she didn’t want that. Then she’d gotten in her car and driven away.

Mia shot back breaking him out of that flashback. “I know, but the thought of breaking it off then having you go into danger with that to deal with was just too cruel. You were gone so long. I just couldn’t wait anymore. I’m sorry, Ashe.”

He watched her stoically walk away as he fought with the betrayal, the pain, and the loss.

Cowboy came up to him and said, his voice subdued, “I’m sorry, Kid.”

Love was a freaking crock, trying to keep a relationship going was tantamount to climbing Mt. Everest. She wasn’t wrong. He was deployed approximately two hundred and forty days out of the year. He was always on call, always in danger, but she’d been wrong. He was unbreakable. They just had different meanings for it. But he was serving his country, giving his all for her and people he didn’t even know. It was what he signed up for, was dedicated to doing.

He guessed he was more in love with the team then he was with her.

“It’s okay, Cowboy,” he said. “I’m okay. I’m just pissed I lost out to a banker.” He buried his disappointment, his betrayal, and his pain, but he knew he wasn’t fooling anyone, not even himself.

* * *

Cowboy deposited Kid on his bed after he force fed him ibuprofen and water. Made him brush his teeth. That’s when Kid had broken down, and Cowboy had held him in a tight embrace like the brother in arms he was.

The guy who had saved his life many times, most recently in the Darién Gap. It was Mia’s loss, and he would admit to himself, she knew it. Even as she’d walked away with her banker, she couldn’t keep her eyes off the boy wonder. Yeah, the kid was male eye candy and packed a lethal punch to the fairer sex, but he was also noble, smart, considerate, and a freaking amazing catch.

At least she’d left him a place to sleep, the callous, backstabbing bitch. The boy was wasted, had passed out after the sixth bar they’d visited. Long before he’d done the sweet babe in the john and had been making out with another one shortly after that. There were plenty of strap hangers or frog hogs as they were referred to in line. He was on a crash course and Cowboy would be there to pick up the pieces stone cold sober. Kid had wounds and scars; this was a fresh one and completely invisible. He ached for his teammate, but all he could do was administer the alcohol, pick up all his pieces, and try to help to put them back together again. They only had so much leave, and Ashe needed to be one-hundred percent when they went back to work.

Distractions in their job could kill them. Cowboy had to fight his all the time.

He knew all about the heartache associated with coming home, and he hadn’t been back to Galveston in a long time, but the shame was always there, lurking. His agitation only intensified when he thought about going back home for his cousin Michele’s wedding. He’d gotten the notice only days before their last deployment and now it was only months away, but he was already dreading it.

He stripped Kid down to his skivvies and pulled the covers over him. Setting his Stetson on the bed post, he pulled off his shirt and toed off his boots. He went to Kid’s closet and pulled out the camping cot he kept there along with a sleeping bag.

He finally shucked his jeans and thought about the one woman he’d never been able to get off his mind, going all the way back to high school. Kia Silverbrook, a beautiful freak. She dressed like no one he’d ever seen, goth inspired, sexy ass, downright stirring leather and lace garments that Cowboy, in his teenaged hormone laden years, often wanted to strip off her body and see what she was hiding underneath. She looked like a storm with her pitch-black hair, cloud-gray eyes, and alabaster skin.

He’d heard in his senior year that she had a tattoo on her butt, and he was dying to know what it was. She was a hacker extraordinaire with the kind of skills MIT grads salivated over and had been suspended once for hacking into the school’s grading system just to prove she could. She was brilliant, sexy and she scared the hell right out of him. She was in the freak squad, and he was on the football squad. But that’s not what stopped him from making a move. No, there was something about her that spelled danger in big red letters. His plan had been to go to college and then take over the ranch, but two years into his degree, and everything changed. The ranch had been in heavy debt and as a result, the ranch had to go up for sale after his father’s death. Feeling ashamed of his father’s action and unable to focus on his studies, when a recruiter for the SEALs had come around, Cowboy had enlisted.

But it had been ten years since he’d seen that girl. She was probably married with a passel of children.

Kid stirred, the sound of his fresh heartache muffled into his pillow, touching Cowboy as he drifted off with Kia’s dark eyes on his mind, wondering what might have been had he taken a chance.