Chapter 5
“So…and you don’t have to answer this if it’s too personal, but why is Josephine with you instead of your parents?” Adrienne asked as they walked along the shopping strip after dinner.
Ghost put his hands in his pockets with a sigh. “It’s a long story. It would probably take all night to tell it,” he said. Talking about his mother wasn’t easy. Her situation hurt him and made him angry at the same time. Part of him wanted to sympathize for her and the pain she probably felt, but he was also angry that she didn’t seem to try hard enough. He wanted her to fight to beat her addiction, if not for herself, at least for Josephine.
“I have all night to listen,” she said, looking at up him. He glanced at her briefly before focusing his gaze on the sidewalk.
“Okay,” he said. “Um, our mom has a problem with prescription pain killers.”
“Goodness,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Josephine is with me because one day she came home from school and our mom was passed out from a near overdose. At 12 years old, she shouldn’t have had to worry about whether or not she’d come home from school to find our mom dead. So I took her in with me to prevent her from being put in foster care until our mom got clean.”
“Well, how is she now?” Adrienne asked. Ghost grit his teeth. His mother was no different. Even though she’d go to rehab, she’d never stay long enough to get any actual help. He’d lost count of the many times he’d put her into a center, even paying for it out of pocket, only for her to leave when the withdrawal phase became too much for her. No matter how much he wanted her to get better, he couldn’t force her to do it. The only thing he could do was protect his sister from her.
“Not any better,” he finally said. They walked in silence for awhile before Adrienne took his hand into hers. Ghost looked down at her and met her tender gaze. Her skin was warm and soft against him, soothing the frustration that tried to trickle into his spirit over his mother.
“You’re doing a great thing with Josephine,” she said, giving him a small smile. “I’m sure all of this is a lot to deal with, but you’re doing a great job at keeping it all together.”
“I don’t have a choice. I’m all she has,” he murmured.
“Then she’s very lucky to have you.”
Ghost smiled at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Thanks. I just want her to be safe at the end of the day. I know I can’t protect her from everything, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.”
“I think it’s natural for big brothers to do that,” she said. “My brothers used to do the same to me when we were growing up. I used to think they were just trying to embarrass me, but I appreciate it a lot more now that I’m older.”
Ghost chuckled. “Well, Josephine thinks I’m ruining her life right now. I hope she’ll appreciate it later in life,” he said. “It’s so crazy that’s she’s graduating in a couple of months. I’ve gotten so used to her being around that I’m not even sure what I’m going to do when she goes off to college in the fall.”
“That’s—ow!” she hissed as she stumbled a bit. She looked down at her foot and shook her head. “Merde. My heel just broke.”
“Here, let me see,” he said, squatting down in front of her. She leaned against a store window. He took her foot into his hand, brushing his thumb over her ankle before trying to roll it around.
“Ow, ow, ow,” she exclaimed, pulling away from him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, looking up at her.
She gave him a small smile. “It’s fine. I probably just twisted it a little.”
He looked down the sidewalk toward the hotel. “Maybe we should go back and get you some ice for that before it starts to swell,” he said as he stood. Looking down at her ankle, he added, “Are you sure you’ll be able to walk back?”
She giggled. “It’s not like I can teleport myself back to the hotel,” she said, looping her arm through his and pushing herself off the store window. “I think I can manage.”
They walked a few steps in silence. Ghost glanced at her a few times, noticing the grimace on her face each time she put her weight on her injured ankle. After fighting with himself for a few more steps, he finally stopped and scooped her up in his arms, causing her to squeak in surprise.
He could feel her staring at him but he kept his gaze focused on what was ahead of him to keep himself from stealing a kiss. The women who passed them all turned their heads to look back at them, oohing and ahing and his chivalry. If they knew the only thing on his mind was carrying her back to her room and tasting every inch of her before fucking her all night, they’d probably be oohing and ahing for another reason.
Her perfume clouded his senses, increasing his need for her. There was no doubt he wanted her, but he didn’t want to push the envelope. Patience wasn’t his strongest trait when it came to women, but all he could do was allow her to lead. She’d mentioned that she was hesitant when it came to men in uniform and he couldn’t really change that. Trying to force her into something she wasn’t comfortable with wasn’t something he’d want to do either, as nothing good ever came from forced situations.
“Thank you,” she finally said, pulling him out of his musings.
He blinked and looked at her, her soft eyes making the urge to kiss her even greater. “No problem,” he said with a small smile, walking through the doors of the hotel.
Ghost stopped at the check-in desk with Adrienne still in his arms. He could feel her tighten her grip around his shoulders as if she was preparing herself for when he would put her down, but he had no plans on doing that; at least not right now anyway.
“Do you have an Ace bandage?” he asked the woman behind the desk.
She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” she said with a frown.
“Here, let me try,” Adrienne offered. “Ah…avez-vous des bandages élastiques?”
“Ah, oui, madame,” the woman answered and reached under the counter, pulling out a first aid kit. After rummaging through it for a while, she pulled out a rolled bandage and handed it to Adrienne.
“Merci, “ Adrienne said Ghost both said and headed for the elevator.
Once they stepped on, Adrienne looked at him. “You can put me down, you know. I think I can manage to walk down the hallway,” she said as she pressed the button for their floor.
“I’m sure you can, but I’d like to hold you close a little while longer if that’s okay with you,” he said, gazing at her with a playful grin. She looked at him for a few moments before giving him a small smile.
“I don’t mind,” she said softly. They rode to their floor in silence, stepping off the elevator when the doors finally opened. He carried her down the hallway, almost wishing it was longer so that he wouldn’t have to put her down.
“Thank you for coming to dinner with me tonight,” he said as he moved down the hall.
“And thank you for inviting me. I enjoyed myself,” she said, smiling at him.
“Even after the ankle mishap?”
“Even after that,” she said and giggled.
He stopped in front of her door. “Well, here we are,” he said and started to lower her to the floor, pausing when her grip on him tightened. He looked at her. “Something wrong?”
“Um,” she hesitated for a moment, “Can you take me inside and grab some ice for me?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said. She took her room keycard out of her clutch and inserted it, opening the door. He walked in and placed her on the bed. “Let’s get your ankle wrapped up first.”
He squatted in front of her and carefully wrapped her ankle, glancing at her from time to time to monitor her facial expressions. “Is that too tight?” he asked her when he finished.
“No, I think it’s good.”
“Good.” He stood up. “I’ll go grab some ice for you,” he said, grabbing her ice bucket.
“Here.” She handed him her keycard. “So I don’t have to get up to let you back in,” she said with a sheepish shrug.
“Be back in a sec,” he said and walked out of her room. The whole way down the hall to the ice machine, his mind raced with multiple thoughts. Her letting me into her room was innocent. It doesn’t mean anything is going to happen. She’s injured, for crying out loud. Just get her the ice, make sure she’s comfortable, and get the hell out of there before you embarrass yourself.
He filled the ice bucket with a sigh. He’d probably need a cold shower to cool down all the heated thoughts he was having of what he’d do to her if given the chance. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been with a woman in a while. He just hadn’t been with one that held his attention for long. Being a man in the military gave him many options when it came to women, but the only one he wanted was a mystery. She purposely distanced herself from him, making it harder to make any progress to become anything more than acquaintances. He’d admired her from afar for a while and thought this trip to Paris was what he needed to get closer to her. But after talking to her and slowly learning a little more about her, he realized that he was in for a long ride if he wanted to make her his. Whatever she went through with her ex was going to be a major roadblock for him and he didn’t know how to reassure her. Being in the military was dangerous and he knew he couldn’t make any promises to her in regard to his safety. He’d just have to take it a day at a time and hope for the best. If she wasn’t ready, she just wasn’t ready.
“I’m back with—” Ghost stopped in his tracks when he entered her room. Adrienne stood next to her suit case wearing nothing but a strapless, lacy black bra and a matching thong, her dress from earlier tossed to the side on the floor. He swallowed hard, his eyes trailing along her body. “The ice,” he said, finishing his sentence. He tugged a little at his collar, suddenly feeling a little warm as he looked at her. His hands tightened on the ice bucket as his gaze drifted to her ass, anxious to see how her skin felt beneath his fingertips. She turned, her cheeks reddening a little from embarrassment as she attempted to cover herself with the shirt she held.
“Sorry. I didn’t think you’d be back so quickly,” she apologized, her eyes drifting to the floor. “I was just trying to change for bed.”
“Oh…um…no problem. I’ll just…” He turned around, cursing himself for the awkward moment. “Go ahead.”
“Thank you,” she murmured. After a brief moment, she finally said, “Okay, I’m done.”
Ghost took a deep breath and released it before turning back around. She now wore a tank top and shorts, her bra now gone as he saw her nipples slightly pushing up against the thin fabric of her shirt. He cleared his throat and looked away, willing the sexual thoughts from his mind. He seriously needed to get it together. The right thing to do would’ve been to just set the ice bucket down, make sure she was comfortable, and then head to his own room like a gentleman before he made a fool of himself. But right now, he didn’t want to be a gentleman. The only thing he wanted to do was take the last of her clothes off and claim every inch of her body.
“May I have some of the ice for my ankle?” she finally asked as she slid back onto the bed.
Ghost cleared his throat. Right, her ankle. “Yeah, sure” he stammered, placing the ice bucket on the table. He almost felt as if he’d need to dump the bucket of ice on himself to cool off and to prevent the erection he felt growing in his dress pants. He grabbed a towel from the bathroom and wrapped some ice in it. Moving over to her, he sat on the side of the bed and placed her ankle on his lap.
She sighed. “That actually feels really nice,” she said.
“Good. Hopefully it’ll slow down any swelling you may have.”
“I hope so. We have both the cooking class and the museum tomorrow, so that’ll be a lot of walking,” she said with a frown. Ghost looked up at her, finally noticing that she’d taken on the makeup she’d worn earlier. She was just as beautiful without it as she was with it. From looking at her, he never would’ve guessed that she’d suffered the pain and loss that she had. She carried herself with class and always seemed to be in a calm, inviting mood. Then again, she would probably say the same thing about him. He’d seen a lot and had done many things that still haunted him to this day, but he pretended to be okay day in and day out. There was so much on his shoulders and he was always taking care of everyone else, often times neglecting himself in the process. Being around her reminded him how he missed the company of woman, more specifically one he was actually attracted to. Her smile could brighten every dark area of his mind and her voice was enough to calm the turbulent memories and stress that plagued his mind. Making Adrienne his would be no easy feat, but it would be worth it if things went his way.
“Do you ever think you’ll date again?” he finally asked, focusing his gaze onto her ankle as he gently placed the ice on different parts around her ankle.
“I’m sure I will,” she murmurs. “Sometimes I miss it.”
He looked up to meet her gaze. “Miss what?”
She shrugged. “I guess the dynamic of a relationship. Being touched, cuddling, date nights, that kind of thing,” she said.
“I see,” Ghost answered.
“What about you? Do you think you’ll ever slow down long enough in life to settle down?” she asked with a smirk.
A small grin pulled at his lips as he focused back on her ankle. “Good things come to those who wait,” he answered. “So right now, I’m just waiting.”
He could feel her staring at him, but he didn’t look back up. “I’m almost afraid to ask what you’re waiting on,” she said with a light chuckle.
“No what, but who.” He met her gaze again. “And I’m sure we both know that answer to that.”
She averted her eyes to her lap as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Myles…I don’t want to lead you on,” she said softly. Although her words were a bit disappointing, he couldn’t help but appreciate her honesty. It wasn’t like she’d said anything he didn’t expect. She’d already told him about her position in regard to men in uniform, so all he could do was respect her decision. He wouldn’t push her into something that she probably didn’t want right now, but he wasn’t completely ready to give up on her either.
“So…tell me about your fiancé,” he finally said, giving her a small smile.
She looked up at him, a mixture of sadness and happiness settling in her soft features. “He was everything to me,” she started. “We met when we were in high school.”
“Was he your first love?”
“I’d say that he was. He wasn’t my first boyfriend, but he was the first person I’d fallen in love with.” A dreamy look settled on her face as she smiled. “We had our whole lives planned out before we even graduated high school. I knew he was the only person I wanted to be with forever.” The smile on her face faded as she looked down at her clasped hands. “But sometimes forever isn’t really forever.”
“I’m sorry,” Ghost murmured.
She shrugged, meeting his gaze with tears in her eyes. “Sometimes life can be cruel and unforgiving. I guess that’s just the way things go,” she said.
“What did he do for a living?” he asked, curious to know which uniform he wore.
“He was a cop,” she replied softly. “He was killed when he answered a domestic violence call. I was told that a guy had called 911 and said that he’d killed his wife and needed help. Miguel always thought that he could diffuse any situation. He was always such a great talker; I used to tease him and tell him that he could probably soothe a rabid lion.” A small smile settled on her lips, but faded as quickly as it appeared. “But the guy couldn’t be consoled. Miguel tried to walk to the guy to get him to put the gun down, but instead the man shot him in the neck before turning the gun on himself.”
A single tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly reached up to flick it away. Ghost’s heart ached for her. He could understand her hesitation toward him. He knew the dangers that came with his job. He couldn’t promise her that he’d always make it home; the only reassurance he could give her was that he’d do everything in his power to be able to. She probably already imagined a Casualty Notification Officer coming to her door to tell her that he’d died.
“I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m sure he was a great man,” Ghost said. Adrienne looked up at him, but didn’t say a word. “I mean those who spend their lives protecting the lives of others are special people. Brave, even. He didn’t die in vain.”
Her luscious lips pulled into a slight frown before she released a soft sigh. “Yeah,” she said, sadness filtering through her voice.
“But I admire your strength,” he said. She raised an eyebrow at him and cocked her head to side.
“My strength?”
“Well yeah,” he said with a shrug. “Just looking at you, I would’ve never known you’d experienced something like that. It takes a strong person to be able to still find joy in life when theirs have been taken from them. Just like your fiancé, you’re just as brave.”
She gave him a small smile and sniffled. “Thank you, Myles. That was nice of you to say.”
“No problem.”
“What about you? Have you ever been in love?” she asked him.
He thought for a moment. He’d had his fair share of women, but none that he really connected with on that level. For the longest time he used to think that there was something wrong with him since he couldn’t reciprocate the feelings the women apparently had for him. He’d thought that his missions had hardened him to where he couldn’t see the good in the world anymore. There were even times where he thought his relationship with his mother had made him hesitant on creating attachments, fearful that he may lose his woman for one reason or another or that he wouldn’t be able to be there for her the way he needed to be. But that seemed to change when he first laid eyes on Adrienne. He couldn’t necessarily pinpoint what it was, but her spirit was like a magnet, pulling him to her. Maybe because he could somehow sense he inner pain and wanted to save her. Or it could be like now, how talking with her was comforting and gave him peace. Any kind of “love” he’d ever felt was on a family level, but he knew he wanted to feel so much more with Adrienne.
“I can’t say that I have,” he finally said.
Adrienne’s eye’s widened a little. “Like ever?”
“I mean there were times where I thought I was in love, but it was never anything deep. In the early part of my career, I was on a lot of deployments, so I wasn’t really around to properly form a relationship I guess.”
“What about now?”
“I guess now I’m just waiting. I’m not getting any younger. If I fall in love, I’d only want to fall once. If that means waiting until I find the right person, then I’ll do that.”
She gave him a small smile. “I’m sure you’ll find her. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”
He chuckled. “I hope she’ll think that,” he said. She gazed at him for a long moment without a word, a range of emotions flickering in her eyes. “What?”
“Why me?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You said earlier that you were waiting on me, but you hardly know anything about me. So why me?”
He shrugged. “I just feel like I can relax with you. You have an aura about you that’s calming and since my life is so hectic at times, your presence and energy is soothing.” He paused and smiled at her. “It also doesn’t hurt that you’re beautiful as hell.”
She giggled. “Thank you.”
“No problem. But really, sometimes you just feel something in your gut and know that it’s right,” he said. Her playful grin wavered slightly as she nodded.
“I suppose so,” she murmured. “How much do you usually trust these gut feelings?”
“Well, they’ve seemed to keep me alive on missions because they’re usually on point,” he said. “So I’d say I trust them with my life.”
“Fair enough,” she answered. The room was quiet for a good while. Ghost’s eyes drifted to the clock on the nightstand, seeing that it was almost 11 p.m.
“Can you pass me a pillow?” he asked. She handed him one of the pillows next to her and he gently lifted her ankle from his lap and stood, putting the pillow in it’s place. “I should probably head to my room. We have an early start in the morning.”
An adorable pout settled on her lips as she looked up at him. “I know you’re right, but I wish you didn’t have to. I could talk to you all night,” she said.
He smiled. “There will be plenty of time to do that if you’d like.”
“Yeah, I’d like that,” she said, returning his smile. “Thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed it.”
“So did I. And thank you for joining me.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, Adrienne.”
“Goodnight,” she nearly whispered. He reached into his pocket and pulled out her room key, placing it on the nightstand before turning to walk out of the room.
As the door closed behind him, a hollow feeling settled in his chest. Walking out of her room made him feel as if he was leaving something important behind, as if a part of his heart wanted to stay behind. If he wasn’t careful, he’d end up giving something as sacred as his heart to a woman who wasn’t ready to receive it. He sighed as he walked the short distance to his own room. Things were bound to become complicated.