Looking at the schedule for next week, I know I can't keep it a secret any longer. I am worried about Friday, where we're going to the gas chamber. Apparently, the heads of Training and Doctrine Command, TRADOC, have decided that Transportation Corps training needs to fit that real Army spirit. But exposing my body and potentially my baby to chemical agents, even if it is just military grade tear gas? Fuck that.

As class ends for the day, I gather up my things and go up to Captain Bali's desk, where he's shutting down the last of his computer stuff for the day. “Sir?”

He's small for a man, barely over five five, but he's a good teacher, and I've liked his classes. He's been kind as the weeks have passed, and my hormones have finally stabilized enough that I'm not feeling like alternatively crying and raging on people. “What can I do for you, Carlyle?”

“Sir... can we speak privately?” I ask, looking around. “Like, just hang around a few minutes?”

“Sure,” Captain Bali says, leaning against his instructor's desk while everyone else files out. Once the door closes, he gives me a supportive look. I'm glad he's Transpo, he's too damn nice to be combat arms. “How're you holding up?”

“As best I can, sir. Almost everyone put two and two together once Simon's situation hit the nightly news. He and I were one of the longer term couples at the Academy. But that's not what I wanted to talk to about. At least, not directly,” I say, shouldering my bag. “Sir, before Simon left for Korea, him and I were... well, I'm pregnant. It's Simon's baby.”

I gotta give it to the Captain, he takes my news in stride. “I see. Well, that explains some things. Does Captain Simson know about this?”

“No sir. When I passed out, he took me to the clinic, but left before the test. I just told him the doctor cleared me to return to duty, and to take it easy,” I say, sighing. “Maybe not the most honest statement, but I wasn't sure how to handle it.”

“Okay,” Captain Bali says, chuckling. “Well, first off, congrats. I take it that if you haven't told Captain Simson, that you want to keep this private as long as you can. What changed your mind on telling me and the chain of command?”

“The gas chamber sir. No offense, but I don't trust the military with chemicals and my baby's health. I barely trust them with my own.”

Captain Bali laughs hard and stands up from where he's been leaning against his desk, patting me on the shoulder. “I totally understand. Okay, that's fine. I'll talk with Captain Simson, but I think this won't be a problem. This is Transpo, not MPs or Engineers. Most of the course is classroom based, which you can do for as long as you want. As for the gas chamber, it's not a graduation requirement, just something someone at TRADOC thought would make us look tougher.”

I shake my head. “You know sir, my Dad's a retired combat arms officer, did some stuff I'm still not too sure of. I remember his opinion of when people tried to look tougher than they really were. His comment to me was that he couldn't do what the Finance people do, and he can't do heart surgery, so it's kinda stupid for accountants and doctors to be playing Ranger just to look tough.”

Captain Bali nods in understanding and opens the classroom door for me. “That sort of wisdom is rare in a Lieutenant, although it is second hand. Careful, you just might common sense yourself either into a General's star or into an early retirement. For now, relax, you'll probably have to talk with Captain Simson next week in order to get things squared away on prenatal care as well as school work, but relax for tonight. I'll see you Monday at six for the APFT. You can still run it, right?”

“Run it? Hell sir, I plan on badging the thing,” I say with a smile, just a little bit cocky. “See you Monday.”

I walk back to the Fort Lee Lodge and change out of my uniform. I pull on some comfortable yoga pants and a USMA t-shirt and lay back on the couch in my room, trying to relax. The Fort Lee Lodge is used by all unaccompanied students, although officers have a room to themselves.

I check my e-mail, and see that I've got a message from Tammy, checking up on me. Pulling out my phone, I call her up. “Hey Ash, I see you got my message.”

“I did. How's ADA School?” I ask, sighing happily. I'm not hungry yet, but I'm feeling like tonight might be a bit of a cheat meal night. Since learning I'm pregnant, I've been eating as much as I want, but it's been healthy foods, lots of vegetables, lean proteins, stuff like that. But right now, a cheese-in-crust pizza sounds perfect.

“Doing just fine. Of course, having a wife who can help me bone up on the tests makes it easy. Have I mentioned I love her?” Tammy asks, before growing serious. “Oh hell, I'm sorry Ash, I didn't mean to say that.”

“That you love your wife? I think that's the best thing I've heard all day,” I tell her honestly, smiling as I stare off into space. “Seriously, don't ever hide that fact. Actually, I have to apologize, I've got something I need to tell you too. Uh... I'm pregnant.”

The excited squeal on the other end of the line nearly whites out the speaker on my phone, and Tammy's hopping for joy. “Just a minute,” she says when she can speak again. “Is your laptop on still?”

“Of course.”

“Pull up Skype, I want you to tell Cara yourself,” Tammy says. My phone goes dead, but when I open Skype there's already an incoming call, and I open it, seeing Tammy's excited face. “Okay, she's on!”

Cara comes over, and she looks tired, but smiles anyway. “Hey Ash. Okay, what's the big news, because Tam here is about ready to yank my damn arm off she's so excited.”

“I told Tammy, I'm pregnant,” I repeat, and the smile that spreads on Cara's face makes it all worth it, even as Tammy hops up and down like an excited teenager next to her. “Nearly three months now, from what we figure is the conception date. I was apologizing to Tammy for not telling you guys earlier.”

“That's okay, although if you keep us out of the loop any more I'm gonna kick your butt next time I see you,” Cara says, wiping at her eye. “Jesus Ash, a baby? Simon's going to be so happy when he gets back.”

I love that about Cara, she's talked about Simon's capture by the North Koreans like it's just a temporary thing, an annoying delay in travel plans. Always with her, it's not 'if' Simon gets back, but 'when.' No wonder I love her as much as I love Tammy. “Thanks. On that note, I know I should probably talk with Simon about this, but I think he'll approve. Would it be okay if the baby has two godmothers?”

Cara and Tammy both stop what they're doing and look at me, wonder in their faces. “But... but Ash, we're Army. And well, you know...”

“Together?” I ask. “Yeah, you two can chuck that out of date idea out the door. If something ever happened to me and Simon, I'd want our child to be raised by two people in a loving family. Mom and Dad are too old to be trying to raise a baby, and Simon's mother I'm not even telling her about my pregnancy. I've gone our entire relationship without talking to Brenda Lancaster, and that's going to continue. So who better than my sisters to raise my child? I know you'll love the baby, and you'll be good parents. So, what do you say?”

Cara looks at Tammy, who whispers in Cara's ear. Cara whispers back, and Tammy turns to the camera. “We accept, on the condition that when Simon gets back, he approves too. Get the paperwork ready, after you talk to your folks. But you just remember, we get to be aunts first, this whole godmother thing is just a backup plan.”

I swear, if the Almighty ever needs someone to remember the Ps and Qs of the world, I know two women who can help him keep track. “For sure. Okay, with that, I'm going to talk to my Dad, and get back with you guys later. You two busy over the weekend?”

Cara raises an eyebrow and smirks. “We're busy every weekend, but we'll make time for you. Give us a call tomorrow or Sunday. Love you, Ash.”

Tammy blushes at Cara's comment, but echoes the sentiment, and I end the call. They're funny, and I know that I made the right choice in asking them to be the baby's godmothers. I'm feeling a little hungry, so I call over to Pizza Hut and order a medium stuffed crust pizza, there's no need to be ridiculous about it, then call home. “Hello honey. How was the school week?”

It's Mom. “Oh, hi Mom. Actually, things are okay. I told my chain of command about my pregnancy, they said it shouldn't be a problem, so that's a good thing. How're you doing?”

Mom laughs, and I swear she sounds younger. “Oh honey, this has been an interesting week. I swear, your father hasn't been this busy with work since you were in junior high school. I know I should be upset, but it lends a lot of energy to the house, if you know what I mean.”

I can't be upset with Mom, I know she means well. “Of course, Mom. Speaking of Dad, is he around?”

“He's in his study, dear. Let me bring the phone to him. Henry? It's Ashley!” Mom, despite all the culture and good manners, never has quite learned how to cover the mouthpiece of a phone when she yells, or how to use a hold button. I listen in as Mom walks down the hallway, knocking on Dad's study door before opening it. “Henry? It's Ashley.”

“Bring it here. Thanks,” Dad says in the background before speaking into the phone. “Ashley? How are you doing, sweetie?”

“I'm okay Dad,” I reply. “I'm still worried, but I'm trying to keep my mind focused on what I can do. And right now, what I need is to keep my focus on our baby, and to do my best to make sure that when Simon comes back, that we're going to have a good home ready for him.”

“Good. So school's going well?”

“I probably won't make honor grad any more, I boned a test pretty hard, but that's okay. Also, I told my chain of command about the baby, there was no way I was going to go into the CS chamber being pregnant. Thankfully my OIC was totally cool about it. I guess the Army has, huh?” I joke, using the old shorthand for 'the Army's changed since the old days.'

“Sure has. Actually, I was thinking about that when your friends got married. Back in my day, both of them would have been kicked out of USMA, branded as some sort of freaks,” Dad says, shaking his head. “So this Old Grad says the Corps has. And you want to know what? I'm fully of the idea that it's a good thing. Time for the Academy and the Army to actually represent the nation it's supposed to protect.”

“Speaking of that... Dad, have you gotten any more news on Simon?”

Dad hums, and I can hear him shuffling through papers. He must really be working hard, he's an incessant note taker. It tapered off my senior year of high school, but if he's got multiple pages going again, he's got to be busy.

“I've got good and bad news. The good news is, they know where Simon's located, or at least the area. It's to the northeast of a town called Changp'ung, about fifteen kilometers from the DMZ. I was surprised at first, but I checked with some friends, and they tell me that's quite normal with the North Koreans. Basically, the more politically sensitive the thing is, the farther from Pyongyang and the China border they want it. It's far enough away from the border that they feel they won't be spied on, but close enough that they can claim plausible deniability if shit hits the fan. Sorry.”

“It's okay Dad, I understand you're giving me the straight info. You said that's the good news. What's the bad news?”

Dad sighs, and I can hear the frustration in his voice even before he says anything. “Our frustrations are mounting. There's two groups that have emerged in the intelligence community. A lot of them think that it's worth the risk to get Simon out. Hell, it's less than twenty klicks Ashley. A Delta or SEAL team could HALO in and get him out in one night.”

“But?” I ask, fearing but knowing what's coming.

“But the White House is listening to the other side right now, the side that's willing to let him sit over there and not do a damn thing. They figure the political fallout is already at peak, and with a good jobs report or something else happening in the world, the general public's going to forget about Simon. The South Koreans are kind of eager to forget too, now. Turns out that the problems with the Apache was found to be a North Korean agent, the crew chief no less. He already admitted to the charge, saying his mission was to specifically target Simon's helicopter. That's confusing the hell out of everyone, honestly. Why target Simon? No offense Ashley, but he's not a high value intelligence asset. It's just... it's puzzling. Think you can shed any light on it?”

I shake my head, not knowing. “The only thing I can think of Dad is that Simon was a foreign language major. While he studied Russian and French, he told me when he was on leave that he started learning Korean in his spare time. When I talked with him on the phone, he said he was coming along, but that isn't going to make him an intelligence asset.”

Dad huffs, and I understand his frustration. “Dad, what can I do?” I ask. “Please, there has to be something that I can do. What?”

Dad hums, tapping at his desk. “I can't be sure, but I have a contact who has resources in the South Korean government. If the North Koreans can get their men into the South, I'm sure the SKs can get their agents into North Korea as well. Maybe we can get a message to Simon. What I want you to do is write a letter, small as you can. Keep it less than a half sheet of paper, and then bring it by the house tomorrow or Sunday. I can't promise anything, but I can try.”

I swallow, emotion suddenly choking my throat. Dad's retired, there's no way he's getting this just by chatting with buddies over beers. “Dad... how much cred are you burning with this? How many favors are you calling in?”

“It doesn't matter, honey. If I have to call in every favor I am owed, and then go doubly into debt in repaying those favors in order to get Simon back to you, I'll do it. I will not let the Army take away from our family again. Okay?”

I have to stop, wiping at my eyes and rubbing at the bridge of my nose to control my crying. “Okay. I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too. Now, I'm going to take the phone back to Katherine, and you two can girl talk some. Try to have a smile in your voice when you do. You know, security and all.”

I don't quite like it, but I understand. “Okay, Dad. I'll be chirpy when Mom comes on. And I'll come by tomorrow, think we can do dinner together?”

“That sounds great, honey. Okay, here's Mom.”