After a quick shower, I hung up my clothes in the wardrobe and chose an unassuming outfit of white skinny jeans, accompanied by a light-blue stripy blouse before sitting at the dressing table. I used a couple of wands of mascara and a dab of nude shiny lip gloss, brushed through my hair, squirted my perfume and declared myself ready.
The jetlag was beginning to kick in now, but if I could manage to keep going for a few more hours, I’d hopefully fall quite easily into the UK time zone.
Grace rapped on the door. ‘You still awake?’ she asked, leaning against the doorframe.
‘Just about,’ I said, standing up and slipping my comfy battered pumps on my feet. ‘You have permission to flick my ears if I fall asleep on you.’
‘Ha! You’ll be fine. Once you’re there you’ll get a second wind … just shout up as soon as you want to come back,’ Grace said with a smile. ‘The pub is only five minutes’ walk away, if that.’
‘Which one are we going to?’ I asked, grabbing my bag and a cardigan.
‘The Malt Shovel, the one on the high street.’
As Grace and I set off up the lane with our arms linked and the warmth of the evening sun on our faces, a sense of contentment flooded my veins as the pub grew close. This was the pub Grandie and I used to sit outside regularly … happy memories from a time before everything changed.
The outside benches were already jam-packed with drinkers chatting and laughing while enjoying the weather. Grace led the way through the heavy oak door then pushed through the thirsty customers and waved towards the barman. I was taken aback by the charm of the place; as a child, I’d never really noticed. It was so different from the rooftop bar overlooking Manhattan. The quintessential low ceiling held aloft by wooden beams, the stone floors and the fireplaces gave the whole place a cosy feel. The mahogany shelving in the corner was littered with bric-a-brac and books. From the flashing fruit machine in the corner came a clatter of falling money as a man stood and scooped up his winnings.
Grace stopped in a space and I lingered behind her. As soon as he finished serving the girl at the side of us, the barman turned towards Grace with a full-on beam.
‘Good evening, do you remember Alice?’ Grace gestured towards me.
I smiled. His face looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite picture him. ‘Hi,’ I said, narrowing my eyes and scrutinising him.
‘That’s not a local accent … American?’ He scrunched up his face and bit down on his lip.
‘No shit, Sherlock,’ chuckled Grace. ‘Definitely an American accent.’
He studied my face.
‘Lived around these parts until she was ten. My mum works at the farm owned by her grandfather …’
As the penny dropped his face changed from a look of confusion back to a grin. ‘You’re kidding me … Alice … Alice Parker.’
‘The one and only,’ Grace responded whilst glancing back in my direction.
I smiled at him even though I was none the wiser who he was.
‘This is Henry Carter. You must remember Henry, Ben’s younger brother.’
‘Alice Parker …’ he took a breath, ‘the one who broke my brother’s heart when you moved to New York.’ He thrust his hand over the bar and I heartily shook it.
‘My God, Henry! You’ve grown!’ I said, amazed. His curly blond hair fell across his golden skin and his blue eyes flashed instant warmth.
‘That’s what normally happens,’ he goofily grinned.
‘I didn’t really break his heart, did I?’ I quickly added.
‘He never got over it.’ Grace winked at Henry.
‘Stop teasing, the pair of you!’ I smiled. ‘How is he?’
‘He’ll be in later, ask him yourself. He’ll be made up to see you, no doubt. Now, what can I get you both to drink?’
‘Gin and tonic please,’ I piped up.
‘I’ll have the same,’ answered Grace.
‘These are on the house, welcome home Alice! Go and grab a table and I’ll bring them over.’
‘Thank you,’ we both said in unison.
‘What a lovely welcome. If I’d known it was this friendly I would have been back sooner!’ I pulled out a chair and settled down at the table.
Grace laughed and slipped into the chair opposite me. ‘You’ve always been welcome, you know that. So, thirteen years of catching up, where the heck do we start?’
‘School, first dates, college, work, the list is endless.’
There wasn’t much I didn’t know about Grace’s life. Her constant updates on Instagram and Facebook kept me informed. I knew about her break-up, every job she’d ever worked, every show she’d ever performed in, whereas my Facebook was sparse, past posts were carefully selected and never gave anything away about my real life and how bad it had become.
I lifted my hair off my neck, twisted it up into a bun and secured it with a bobble from around my wrist.
‘Where to start?’ I sat up straight, ‘But what I do know is, being miles apart hasn’t affected our friendship, it still feels like we are the best of friends.’
Grace agreed, ‘I know … that’s what a true friendship is all about. We might not live in each other’s pockets, but I agree, what’s 3,000 miles between best friends?’
‘Here you go, ladies.’
We both looked up to see that a smiley Henry had appeared at the side of the table. He placed two gin and tonics down on the beer mats in front of us.
‘I hope you don’t mind, I texted Ben to let him know you were here.’
‘How lovely,’ I didn’t mind at all, ‘it would be nice to see him after all this time.’
‘And how’s your grandfather? He’s been absent for a while, usually props up that bar on a Sunday afternoon with his pint of ale.’
‘I bet … That’s why I’m back, he’s not too well at the moment,’ I answered, taking a sip of my drink.
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ He gave me a sympathetic smile.
‘Old age, they call it.’
‘Give him my best.’
‘Will do.’
‘I never want to get old,’ Grace chipped in the second Henry returned to the bar.
‘You and me both,’ I said, having sudden visions of reaching the age of eighty, still living in the same damp cold flat, wrapped in numerous blankets, still unable to afford the heating and listening to the dreadful music pounding through the ceiling until the early hours of the morning.
‘Boyfriend?’ she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.
I shook my head, ‘Not at the moment.’
‘In between jobs, though.’
I nodded, which wasn’t strictly a lie but not entirely the truth.
‘Anyway, what happened with Finn?’ I’d noticed Grace’s relationship status change to single a while back and we’d chatted briefly over messenger but the situation had been too raw for her to talk about. She’d been in the middle of a production and the only way to cope was to get herself through each day as it came.
Grace looked like she was on the verge of tears. ‘I should have known after the shoddy proposal it wouldn’t go the distance. He went down on one knee after a skinful of beer and a night of karaoke followed by a greasy kebab … living the dream,’ she said sarcastically.
‘I wasn’t expecting you two to split, though … everything always seemed …’
‘Okay on Facebook?’ she interjected, rolling her eyes.
‘So, what happened?’ I asked tentatively.
‘Where do I start?’ Grace’s voice rose an octave. ‘Never live your life through Facebook, because when it’s over you look a right idiot.’ She blew out a breath and stretched out her legs before blinking away the teary mist from her eyes.
‘To be honest, it came as a bit of a shock to me too. One minute, he was there, next he was gone from my life forever. It felt like my heart had been ripped out, it hurt so much.’ Her voice was shaky.
I reached over and squeezed her hand. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
She sighed, flipping a beer mat over in her hand, and nodded. She paused for a second and took a deep breath. ‘He blamed me, said it was my fault that we’d drifted apart, which I think is a bit of a cheek as I wasn’t aware we’d drifted at all.’
‘How did he make that out?’ I raised my eyebrows.
‘He said he got lonely every night.’
‘When you were out working?’
‘Yes, but he knew that had always been my job. I perform on stage, the schedule is gruelling – you’ll know that – but that’s what makes me, me. That’s the person he fell in love with. I haven’t changed.’ She took a breath. ‘And when he accused me of having an affair with Sam, the leading man, I couldn’t believe it. It was ridiculous.’ She took a sip of her drink.
The hurt on Grace’s face was clearly visible.
‘At a guess, maybe it was his own insecurities.’
‘More like the best form of defence is attack. I’ve never been interested in anyone else and even when I acted opposite Sam Reid every hour for months, I wasn’t even tempted. I wouldn’t have done that to him. Especially, knowing what Mum has been through with my dad, the affairs … the lies. I wouldn’t dream of putting anyone through that pain.’
‘That’s because you’re a good person.’
‘It wouldn’t have been so bad, but trying to shift the blame on to me! If he’d told me he was unhappy, that’s one thing, but to carry on behind my back for nearly six months … I felt a fool. I’d no clue, working every night. He was always back before I got home, playing the dutiful boyfriend.’
‘How did you find out he was seeing someone else?’
‘It was my day off and I’d nipped into his office to take him out for a surprise lunch, but the surprise was all mine. The reception desk was empty, so I didn’t think anything of walking straight through to his office to see if he was there. He was there all right, having it away with her in the office. So clichéd, grim doesn’t even cover it.’
I stared open-mouthed at Grace. ‘What did you do?’
‘Kept my dignity, turned around and came home. I dumped all of his belongings in bin-bags and left them out on the front garden, then began to worry about how I was going to pay the mortgage by myself. He moved in with her, but rumour has it, it fell apart soon after. But I’m not totally sure, as I cut all ties. Everyone was shocked, even his parents were devastated. I’m just glad I didn’t give him any more years of my life or had children with him. Can you imagine?’
Listening to Grace, I could hear the wretchedness in her voice. It was clear she was still devastated by the whole sorry situation. Her heart had been well and truly broken.
‘Honestly, he’s mad to give you up.’
‘It doesn’t take away the pain though, does it?’
I shook my head. ‘How did you cope at work?’
‘Sam was a legend. Can you imagine going on stage night after night, forcing a smile on your face, when all you wanted to do was hide under your duvet? He held me up, made sure I was fed, watered and kept me distracted at work. He was good to me.’
‘Just a friend?’ I narrowed my eyes at her, hoping the answer was yes.
‘Don’t you start. I’ve had enough of those accusations from Finn.’
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘You haven’t. Finn only accused me as he was trying to cover up his own guilty feelings.’
‘And how are you coping now?’ I asked, drinking the last dregs from my glass.
‘Good,’ she said, ‘in fact, damn good. Working hard in the job I love so much, and your timing couldn’t have been better. With the show finishing I’ve got time on my hands and I’m looking forward to spending it with my oldest friend.’ Her eyes sparkled as she smiled kindly towards me.
‘I can’t believe I’m actually here, Grace.’
If someone had told me two weeks ago I would be sitting in a pub in my home village of Brook Bridge I would have thought they were completely mad. How things can change in such a short space of time. I know Grandie being ill was the push I’d needed to make my excuses to come home to England, and maybe my return wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for Grace’s message, but I was here now with a sense of belonging, already feeling like I’d never been away.
‘Now, less of the doom and gloom, tell me all about New York. All that razzmatazz, I bet it’s a-m-a-z-i-n-g living and working there?’ She strung out the word amazing while shimmying her jazz hands in the air. ‘Is it really the city that never sleeps? I bet you live in a fancy flat with all the mod cons, probably even have famous neighbours! And tell me all about the productions you’ve finished? You should post more photos, you know.’ Grace finally came up for air.
I didn’t know how to reply. Right here, another perfect opportunity presented itself to come clean, to confide in Grace that my life wasn’t all that great … Tell her the truth. The words whirled in my head. Taking a breath, it was now or never, but where did I start?
I gulped and opened my mouth to start talking.
‘Alice Parker is back in town!’ a voice boomed.
On this occasion I’d been saved by Ben Carter, who I recognised immediately. He hadn’t changed one little bit.
I beamed at his enthusiasm, his arms were flung wide. ‘Alice Parker, a vision of utter loveliness, I knew you’d come back for me one day!’
‘Always the joker,’ I burst into laughter, springing to my feet and tightly hugging him.
‘And always the flirt,’ laughed Grace.
He kissed me lightly on the cheek, taking me by surprise, then stood back and held my hands. ‘I honestly never thought you’d cross my path again. Married … single?’ he added, and raised his eyebrows at me hopefully. ‘And what’s with that accent?’
‘That might be down to living in New York for thirteen years! How are you?’ I grinned in an attempt to steer the conversation away from my non-existent love life. ‘Grab a chair, come and join us.’
Ben swivelled a chair round and sat at the table. ‘Drinks … your drinks are empty, my round.’ He waved his hand above his head. ‘Henry,’ he bellowed, ‘we need drinks! What are you both having?’
‘Gin and tonic, very kind.’
Ben looked over his shoulder, but Henry was busy serving other customers at the bar.
‘Two seconds, don’t go anywhere.’ He leapt up and I noticed Henry tip him a wink to help himself.
‘Hurry back, Alice was just about to tell me all about her life in New York.’
There was an excitement in her voice which made my mood slump a little again.
She flapped her hand at me. ‘Come on then, let’s hear all about it. And Molly, she’s a star too … a radio presenter … Friends in high places?’
Ground, swallow me up …
I was beginning to perspire at the very thought of this conversation and smiled wistfully towards Grace. ‘We can save all about me for another day,’ I offered, hopefully managing to steer the conversation away from me yet again. ‘I want to hear all about Ben and this building business he’s in.’
Grace eyed me carefully, her expression knotted with concentration. ‘I get it … you don’t want to sound big-headed in front of Ben … city girl … life in New York … hitting the big time … but I’ll be grilling you later.’ She was, of course, totally oblivious to my discomfort as I cringed inside. I may be a city girl but hit the big time I had not.
‘Exactly, can you imagine? He’ll think I’m a big-headed American,’ I said, feeling shifty, but relieved I’d bought myself a little time before I had to face the embarrassing conversation that was whirling around in my head.
‘It’s all about Ben, then, as soon as he comes back … he’ll like that,’ she chuckled. ‘Honestly, he’s the biggest flirt in the village, very full on all the time.’
‘I’m assuming single, then?’
‘Very much so,’ laughed Grace.
True to her word, when Ben returned Grace began talking to him about his business and how his dad was going to make him a partner in the company.
Her kindness since I’d arrived made my little white lie even more unbearable. I knew I needed to put this situation right ASAP, but the more she thought I was something I wasn’t, the harder it was becoming to tell her the truth.