Tia stared at the tabloid propped against her office door. It had been a long, stressful night of surgery and she had to blink her eyes a few times to even clear her double vision. It took longer to realize that the face on the cover was, in fact, her face. And the words printed across the bottom were about her.

Hypocritical Oath: Inside the salacious story of Elijah Bird’s steamy affair with his surgeon.

Tia felt the bile rise in her throat as she snatched the tabloid off the floor of the hall and locked herself in her office. She shouldn’t be doing this, she knew. She should be getting in her car and driving home to rest. She certainly shouldn’t be reading any of this drivel. And she knew that Owen was likely the person who’d left this tabloid for her. Intentionally to hurt her.

Well, it worked.

Tia sat at the chair under the window in her office and drowned in every horrible word about her.

She had one hand over her mouth as she read about their “love affair” in high school even though they’d run in different crowds. She read about their “horrible break up before college” that she had “never gotten over.” She read about how she’d violated the Hippocratic Oath by sleeping with him while he was still her patient.

Tia felt the world rushing up to meet her. Her hands shook as she watched her reputation go up in smoke. She knew that she hadn’t done anything wrong. She knew she wouldn’t be fired for this. But as a female surgeon, she had to be ten times better, more discreet, and more polished than any man. She knew that it wouldn’t take much for her career to go down in flames. And this was a hell of a lot more than much.

Horrified and hypnotized by the article, she couldn’t help but flip the pages. She was brought up short by two full pages of faces. Beautiful faces. Women who’d been connected to Eli at some point or another in the past.

Models, actresses, cheerleaders, singers. Oh god. And each of them prettier than the last. All of them dripping in raw sex appeal. Tia’s picture was plastered in the middle of them. It was the photo from her ID badge at the hospital. Her face was makeup-less and serious. She looked plain and boring compared to each of the dozens of glamour shots that were scattered on the pages.

What does she have that these women don’t? The tagline over Tia’s face read.

Tia stared at it, uncomprehending. In those moments, all Tia could think was, nothing, absolutely nothing.

***

Eli slapped a dishtowel over his shoulder and uncorked a bottle of wine. He lit three candles and scattered them around on the dining room table in his dad’s house. The oven dinged and Eli dashed back into the kitchen to pull the casserole out. There was just the salad to do and then everything would be perfect.

Tia was going to be there in less than twenty minutes and he wanted everything to go smoothly for her dinner with his dad. They’d met before, but never outside of the hospital, and Eli just wanted her to be comfortable and relaxed.

“Wow,” Ryan’s voice sounded from behind his shoulder. “You must really like her, huh?”

He’d never met anyone his son was dating before and that was clue enough. But he’d also never seen his son fiddle around with the placement of wine glasses on a table before. And that was tantamount to a wedding invitation in Ryan’s mind. Ryan liked Tia. She’d saved his son’s life, for god sakes. And he wondered if he was about to sit down to dinner with his future daughter-in-law.

Eli turned. “Yeah. I do. I really do.”

There was a blunt, stubborn, confused look in Eli’s eye. Like he’d been sideswiped by his feelings. Like they’d come from nowhere. Ryan could relate to that feeling. It’s how he felt about his wife when he’d met her.

“You look like I did about 40 years ago,” Ryan commented, coming all the way into the kitchen and pulling a loaf of bread out of the bread basket, started cutting it into chunks.

“What do you mean?” Eli cocked his head and stole one of the slices of bread.

“I mean that you look just about as blindsided as I did when I met your mother.”             

Eli’s face pulled into a surprised smile. “You mean that I look like I’m in love?”

Ryan looked up. Eyed his son. “You said it, not me.”

Eli shrugged. “So what if I meant it?”

Now Ryan put the knife fully down and turned to stare at his son. “You’re telling me that you’re in love?”

“Yeah.”

Tears sprang to Ryan’s eyes as he cuffed his son into a hug. He was shorter than Eli. Had been since the kid had turned fifteen and broken six feet. But still, he surrounded his grinning kid in a tight hug that had tears springing to both of their eyes.

Ryan slapped Eli’s back and stepped back. “You’re gonna get married?”

Eli gulped, his eyes growing comically large. “I, uh, hadn’t thought about it yet, I guess.” He scraped a hand over his hair. “I’m still trying to figure out how to have a girlfriend while I’m traveling all season.”

Ryan nodded. “Lot of things to figure out, I suppose. So you’re gonna play, then?” He wasn’t sure if he was excited or disappointed. Watching Eli play football was one of the greatest joys in his life. Watching Eli play professional football was one of the most terrifying things in Ryan’s life. Every second was filled with the fear of concussions, injuries, national shame or humiliation. He wanted Eli to have everything he wanted. But part of him really wished that what Eli wanted was to retire.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure I’m up to it yet.”

“I thought you said you were feeling tip top?”

“Well, I do. I’ve been training with the team and that’s been great. I’m still going to PT. And he says it’s pretty much like I was never even in the accident. I’m fit. It’s not that.”

“Ah,” Ryan said as he poured himself a small glass of wine. “It’s mental then?”

Eli shrugged, knowing that his father was probably one of two people in the entire world he’d tell about this. “I’m not sure if I’m psyching myself out, or if part of me is over it. You know? I’ve got a Superbowl ring. And I’ve been battered to hell in the process. I beat cancer and then got hit by a car. It’s been a hell of a few years. And I wonder how much more excitement I really need. Do I need to be puking up my breakfast before I play on national television? I don’t know.”

“Makes sense.” Ryan’s heart leapt. “So you’d retire and… what?”

“Yeah, that’s the part that I get caught up on. It doesn’t feel like the right time to retire either. What would I do? My identity is all wrapped up in being a pro quarterback. And I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up. And I definitely have a few more seasons at my peak, if I don’t get injured again, that is.”

“Well, retiring seems less lonely if you’ve got a woman to share it with.”

“That’s the truth,” Eli sighed and poured himself an inch of wine as well. “And that’s a whole other part of it. Do I really want to put Tia through the whole NFL life? The stress of it? The scrutiny? She doesn’t want to be in the public eye. And the cat’s already out of the bag that we’re dating. If I play, it’s just gonna get worse for her. Not to mention how hard it would be to see each other during the season. What with her schedule and mine. And then there’s the whole party scene and all that.”

Ryan raised one eyebrow that said it all. “Would she have to worry about that?”

“No, of course not. You know I’d be faithful.” Eli cuffed his dad on the shoulder. “I was built that way.”

Ryan quirked a little smile, relieved that he’d passed that particular gene onto his son. “But you think it would be hard on her anyways?”

“Yeah, I mean, who could possibly deal with all that without flinching?”

“Sure,” Ryan said as he tossed the cut bread into a large bowl and rinsed his hands off at the sink. “But there’s no such thing as a relationship without flinching. Nobody comes without baggage.”

“Yeah but mine is on national television and in the check out aisle at the grocery store.” Eli raked a hand through his hair. “And it’s kind of a lot of baggage.”

Ryan raised another eyebrow and said something entirely different than the first time he had. It was a particular skill that he had. Eli had his smile, Ryan had his eyebrows. “I’ve noticed.”

Eli gave a sheepish smile. “Apparently everybody noticed and nobody pulled me aside to tell me what a fucking idiot I was being.”

“You pass the age of 30, it becomes your own job to figure out when you’re being an idiot.”

Eli grinned now, big and true. “Fair enough.” He paused. “But I don’t want to be an idiot anymore. I wanna be steady, reliable. Somebody she can lean on. Without having to get smacked in the face with all my baggage whenever she does.”

Ryan nodded, pulled salad fixings out of the fridge. “You got a ring yet?”

“A ri—God! Dad, no. I told you that I’d barely even been thinking about that yet. I’m still getting used to loving her.”

“Alright, alright. I’m just saying, that whenever you’re ready you can have your mother’s.”

Eli was speechless, he felt like his father had just socked him with a bag full of flour. “What?”

“You heard me. She’d want you to have it. And if you’re giving it to Tia, well you can take it home with you tonight if you want.”

“Dad—” The doorbell cut off whatever Eli was going to say, and honestly, he barely had an idea of what that was in the first place. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that? Eli had barely thought of his mother’s engagement ring in years, although, as he walked through the front hallway of his childhood home, the image of it was crystal clear in his mind. It was a small diamond, pear shaped and classic. It gave Eli a strange twist in his chest to picture it on Tia’s hand.

And it was with that look on his face that he opened the door. Only to find a similarly strained expression on Tia’s.

“Hi,” he let the feeling fall away from him as he greeted her, pulling her into his arms and letting the scent of her hair soothe him. But he could tell something was off with her as well. “You alright?”

“Yes,” she answered carefully, her eyes darting at anything but him.

“You sure?” He held her at arm’s length and let his eyes trace over her face.

She opened her mouth and clapped it closed, brushed a tired hand over her face. Eli’s hands tightened on her shoulders in alarm. “No,” she finally answered. “But it’s nothing that we need to talk about right now.

She tried to move past him, into the house, but Eli blocked her way. A slow moving car on the street in front of his dad’s house caught his eye and Eli changed his mind, tugging her into the house and away from prying eyes.

“Tia, if something is wrong, I’d rather know now. Otherwise I’ll just wonder all through dinner.”

She looked for a second as if she was going to be stubborn, not let him in on whatever it was, but then the fight went out of her all at once. She dug in her purse and pulled out a tabloid, shoving it into his hands.

All the blood left Eli’s body. It just evaporated into thin air.

“No.” It was the only word that he could force out through the fire rising in his throat. And then, after he’d flipped through a few pages, “Oh Jesus.”

“Yeah,” Tia laughed humorlessly. “You’re telling me.”

Eli wasn’t going to read this drivel but there were words that snagged his eye here and there and all of them made his gut cramp. They all painted Tia as some sort of amoral whacko surgeon who’d done whatever she could to get close to Elijah Bird, star quarterback.

“Lies,” he bit out through clenched teeth. “All lies.”

“Is it?” Tia hissed. She was holding in tears as hard as she could at this point. She flipped a few more pages in Eli’s hand and smacked the open magazine for emphasis. It was the page with all the women’s faces on it. “It’s all lies, Eli?”

His face drew with chagrin as his eyes roved over the pictures of all the women. When he looked up at her, he looked more serious than she could ever remember him being. “What are you really asking me, Tia? You want to know if I’ve slept with all these women?”

She stepped back from him, her expression shocked and horrified. “No, Eli. I’m asking you if it’s always going to be like this. If your past is going to be thrown in my face? If I’m going to be constantly, publicly compared to women you’ve been linked to in the past?”

“No.” His answer was blunt, and he meant it. “No, Tia. This is a particular moment in time. Where we’re new, nobody knows anything about you so they’re like vultures for the gossip. And where nobody knows if I’m playing again or not. I’m on everyone’s mind. That’s why they’re pulling this shit.” He tossed the tabloid away, into the other room.

Eli took her by the shoulders again. “Tia, I can’t protect you from every aspect of the spotlight, but if I told you I could dim the light a little bit, would you want that?”

She drew her eyebrows. “What are you saying to me?”

Eli had no idea what he was saying. Was he about to tell her that he’d retire? That he’d let the spotlight naturally fade away from them if only it meant that she was happier? That she’d agree to stick around? All he knew was that she’d said the word always like she couldn’t even stomach the thought. He didn’t want that. He wanted her to rejoice at the thought of Eli and always.

“Am I interrupting?” Ryan’s voice came from over Eli’s shoulder.

“Oh,” Tia squeaked, one hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry to make a scene at your house.”

“That’s alright,” Ryan replied easily, although his eyes flicked back and forth between Eli and Tia. “Sometimes scenes are avoidable.”

Glancing over at the tabloid flapped open on the floor in the other room, Ryan sighed deeply. He moved forward and took Tia by the hand. “If you’re still up for dinner, you could probably use a glass of wine right about now.”

Eli could have kissed his father in that moment. Because he’d known Tia was one second away from leaving the house and tearing home. But a few magic words from Ryan Bird and she was walking hand in hand with Eli’s dad into the kitchen.

“You don’t have to talk about it, of course, but I assume the troubles have something to do with that tabloid on the floor of my living room?” Ryan asked as he poured Tia a glass of wine and pulled out a chair for her at the dinner table.

Tia sighed and brushed her hair back from her face. Eli realized with a little shock that her hair was longer than it was when he’d first seen her in the hospital. They’d known each other long enough at this point for her hairstyle to have changed. He couldn’t say why that surprised him so much, but it did.

“I’m a very private person,” Tia said in a low voice. “And I have a lot to protect. My little sister for one.” Tia’s eyebrows raised in sudden horror. “Who’s dating Jace Overshire. Oh god. I can only imagine what they’ll say about the Camellia sisters when they realize that we’re dating the two highest paid players on the Stingrays.”

Ryan’s hand squeezed her shoulder lightly as he sat down next to her at the table. “Well, don’t write the story for them! I imagine dreading the story would be just as bad as reading it.”

Tia looked up, surprised at how much that made sense. “I guess you’re right. I’ll need to get better at ignoring it. The way Eli said that he does. I guess, it’s just hard because I’m not used to people looking in the first place. My whole life I’ve been able to fade into the background. And I liked it that way. That way you’re never underwhelming to people. Either they didn’t notice you or they’re impressed.”

Eli’s eyebrows shot up too. “Tia, I find it very hard to believe that people haven’t been noticing you your whole life. You’re stunning. Inside and out.”

Tia’s cheeks went peachy. “Eli, you know very well that it’s easy to miss me. Hell, you yourself didn’t even notice me in high school. And we did an entire project together!”

“What’s this?” Ryan asked, his mouth quirking up in a half smile, sensing that they were moving away from the choppier waters of the tabloid conversation.

“What can I say?” Eli asked, face palming. “I was an idiot in high school.”

“You two knew each other?”

“I knew Eli,” Tia corrected. “And had a huge crush on him. Like, epic.”

Ryan leaned forward, charmed by her honesty. “And you never told him?”

“Oh, she told me,” Eli cut in, a smile creasing his face. “In the most frustrating way possible.”

Tia smiled shyly for a second, shaking her head at herself. “I wrote a note in his yearbook. Telling him about my feelings.”

“But she scribbled her name so I’d never figure out who it was. I only made the connection a few days ago.”

“Wow.” Ryan looked back and forth between them, delighted at the story itself, but more so at the way they told it together. They had rhythm, chemistry.

“Wait.” Eli cocked his head to one side. “When did you write that note? How did you manage to get my yearbook without me noticing?”

Now Tia went desperately peach with the blush that stained her cheeks. “It was during your senior year party.”

“Oh, you mean the one that you threw while I was out of town?” Ryan asked dryly, one eyebrow raised.

“I still maintain that it was worth it. Even if it did lose me my car privileges for the summer.” Eli grinned at his father, long since able to see the humor of the situation. He turned back to Tia. “So you snuck in my room and signed my yearbook?”

Tia covered her face with her hands for a second. “Yeah. And oh man, I almost spontaneously combusted with nerves. I even had a crush on your room. I thought it was so cute. The blue walls and—”

Eli cut her off when, grinning, he stood and yanked her up out of her chair. “Be right back, Dad.”

“Take your time,” Ryan murmured to the now empty room.

Eli dragged Tia down the familiar hallway. She saw that the room that had had a sewing machine was now changed into a library area. She wondered if that room had been Eli’s mother’s domain.

But her thoughts cut off as Eli kicked open a door and led her into his high school bedroom. Almost exactly the same as the day she’d last been in it.

Tia’s mouth fell open as she looked around at the photos on the walls. The Keith Haring print. His desk was cleaned and there was no more laptop, but everything else was exactly the same.

“I can’t believe it,” Tia said, sitting down on the neatly made bed. “He kept it exactly the same, huh?”

Eli shrugged and sat next to her. “I guess so.” He smiled sadly as Tia picked up the photo that was next to his bed, the same one that had been there since he was a boy. The picture of Eli and his mother, grinning at the camera and covered in popsicle. He loved that photo.

He cleared his throat. “So you just snuck in here and signed the yearbook and snuck out?”

“Well, I looked around a little bit. And I sat in that chair.” She pointed to the desk chair. “You had a sweaty shirt flung over it that I thought smelled so good.”

Eli grunted. “It was a pool party. Were you wearing a bathing suit?”

She nodded. “Yeah. A red one-piece with a t-shirt over top.”

Eli grunted again, shifted a little bit where he was sitting on the bed. “One-pieces are hot.”

Tia raised an eyebrow as she observed the effect this conversation was having on Eli. She decided to up the ante a little bit.

“You had a pair of running shoes right there on the floor and I took my sandal off and put my foot in one of them.”

This time he outright groaned. “You put your little foot in my big, sweaty shoe? God, why is that so hot?”

Tia laughed. “I don’t know, but I remember thinking it was hot at the time as well.” She frowned. “And then I heard you coming down the hall with Sara Humphrey and I panicked.”

He frowned. “I don’t remember that. But I remember she kept irritating me the whole party, asking for a million things, trying to get me alone every other second. But we didn’t come into my room, I remember that much.”

“Right,” Tia nodded. “You didn’t. But I thought you were going to. So I hid right there.” She pointed to the space between the bed and the wall. “I was terrified you were gonna come in and start getting freaky on the bed. And I’d have a front row seat.”

Eli’s mouth dropped right open. He had absolutely no idea how to respond to that.

“But thank god, you just went to the basement. So there I was, alone in your room, sad that you were off doing whatever with Sara Humphrey. And I saw your yearbook. And I just thought, you know? Better that than nothing. So I wrote the note, went out to the party, grabbed Laura, and we went home.”

Tia sighed. “That was the last time I saw you, except for on TV.”

“You watched my games?”

Tia nodded. “All of them. Even the college ones.”

Eli flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The same ceiling he’d stared at for the first 18 years of his life. “God, I wish I’d known you, Tia. I wish I’d been able to see you go through college and med school, even from a distance, the way you did with me. I feel robbed of all those years.” He sat up on his elbow and watched her. “And it’s so clear to me now that I was lost without you. I didn’t know it then, but the way I feel now? So grounded? Well, it just tells me that I needed you.”

Tia rose from the bed. Her stomach was flipping. Because she didn’t feel the same way. She felt the opposite. She felt like her life had been grounded before she’d gotten with Eli. In fact, she felt as if her entire life had been flipped up into the air like the loose contents of a drawer. Part of her desperately wanted to close that drawer up tight again.

That was the part of her that couldn’t help but read that whole, gruesome tabloid. The part of her that wanted privacy and calm and just to be a respected surgeon. And she couldn’t help it, that was truly a part of who she was.

But there was another part too. The part of her that liked her life all tossed to pieces, because it meant that Eli was there, with her, doing all the tossing. She didn’t want to go back to a life without Eli. She just wanted both. Eli and a closed drawer life.

The feeling twisted in her stomach. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say. So she fixed a smile on her face and turned to Eli, hauling him up off the bed with her hand clasped around his. “Let’s not leave your father for too long.”