Chapter10
Yaeger went into the hospital with a heart attack. He was as strong as an ox and as soon as he was in the hospital, he made leaps and strides toward a speedy recovery. Molly visited him often and she paid for his stay at one of the best heart departments in Seattle. Kevin brushed it off. The meek old man was the one who had a problem with it.
“Stop fussing,” he said to Molly.
She hated hospitals. The medicinal, sterile smell made her anxious and uneasy. However, there are certain moments and situations in your life that make you forget all of those phobias and anxieties. Molly sat on the edge of his bed and turned his lunch tray around so that he could poke at some of the other food on it. Not that either of them knew what he had been served. White mush, orange mush, some sad looking corn, and some Jell-O. “I saved your life; I can fuss over you as much as I want.”
“You’re going to hold that over me for the rest of my life, aren’t you?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear.
“No… Only until you’re well enough to get out of here. Then I’ll only nag you about it every now and then.”
He chuckled and poked at the Jell-O on his lunch tray. “I miss the food from the diner.”
Miguel shuffled in the seat next to the door. “Would you like me to get you something from the diner?” he asked. “I can make a dinner run for you.”
“That’s a great idea,” Molly squealed. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
“Stop asking me that,” Miguel snapped playfully. “I work for you. It’s my job to make sure that you’re happy and to do whatever you want.”
Molly turned back to the little old man in the hospital bed. “What do you say? What would you like for dinner tonight?”
“I don’t want to trouble the boy. I’m sure that he has enough on his plate having to deal with you.” He laughed.
It was nice to hear his laugh but Molly could tell that it was strained. She patted his shoulder. “Come on, we’ll get you something good. Umm… nothing deep fried but anything else is up for grabs.”
“Maybe a Chinese chicken salad then?” he asked, hesitantly.
“That sounds very doable,” Miguel said. He looked at his watch. “I’ll be back in about three hours with dinner. Sound good?”
Yaeger and Molly nodded. “Hey,” Molly called. “Can you get us another stack of books?” She pointed to the stack at the foot of the bed. “We’ve gone through all of those already.”
“Well, if you trust me enough, I can drop these off for you.”
“Of course I do,” Yaeger said. “The keys are in my jacket pocket.”
“It’s hanging in the closet,” Molly said getting up from the bed.
Miguel held his hand up and got it himself, took the stack of books into his arms, then said a quick goodbye before leaving on his errand.
Molly sat down on the bed again. “Should I let you sleep some?”
“Oh, deary, I’ve been sleeping so much lately. I just need someone to talk to, is all.”
“What do you want to talk about?” Molly tried to get her legs up on the bed and cross them but she was finding that position much more difficult since the baby was growing.
“You. We’ve been talking about me so much these days I feel like I don’t know what’s going on in your life.”
“Not much,” she lied. “I’ve having a little girl. I’m getting married in about four months or so.” She rubbed her belly.
“What about that Shaw boy?” he asked.
Molly’s mouth went dry. “Huh?” she finally uttered.
“I see how you look at the boy and everyone knows how fond he is of you. He’s really come out of his shell this past year. Are you two an item or…?” From anyone else, that might have sounded like a bit of gossip but he had a father-figure tone in his voice that was unmistakable.
“No. We can’t be. I’m engaged to someone else,” she said.
“You know engagements aren’t permanent, right? If you wanted to call off the wedding, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
“I wouldn’t have anywhere to go and I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I haven’t had a job since I moved into that stupid house. I don’t even know where my resume is. And who’s going to hire some pregnant lady? Or even worse, someone who just had a baby?”
“Don’t underestimate yourself, lady,” he said. “I remember a little girl that used to come into the bookstore with her parents when she was four or five years old. When her parents stopped coming into town, I didn’t see her for a long time until one day she showed up on a bicycle. She taught herself how to ride so that she could come visit me on her own because her parents hated Pine Falls – though I don’t know how anyone could hate our little town.” He crossed his arms.
Molly laughed. “That was different though.”
“Not at the time. Do you remember what you were like before you started riding that bike everywhere? You hated that thing!”
“I kept falling down. Of course I hated it.”
“That’s what life is all about. Falling down and then getting back up again. Not only did you get back on that bike, you also taught yourself how to ride it. You’ve got a lot more strength in you than you will give yourself credit for. Don’t sell yourself too short. You deserve happiness, not just to be content with being dependent on some jerk.”
“How do you know he’s a jerk? Kevin is a very-”
“You wouldn’t be looking at the Shaw boy that way if he wasn’t a jerk,” he interrupted. “Don’t take me for a fool, Molly Richards. I’ve had my fair share of romances too.”
Molly inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway,” she said. “Justin already told me that he’s not interested in starting anything with me.”
“Who said anything about asking Justin to be in a relationship?” Yaeger said. “You can go off and run your own life. Don’t be dependent on anyone.”
The thought had never crossed her mind. In the last few months the only future that she saw for herself was one with either a diamond in the rough mechanic or an entitled lawyer. She hadn’t thought about living on her own. She didn’t have her stepfather’s money anymore and she wouldn’t be living under someone else’s roof so she’d have to get a job for rent, food, utilities… The task seemed daunting – too daunting. “I’ll think about it…” she muttered.
“You’ve already got that parent-speak down pat.”
“What are you talking about?”
“When parents say that they’ll think about it, it generally means that they’ve already decided against it.”
“Hey, I haven’t.” She crossed her arms and looked away. “It just sounds hard. That’s all.”
“Well, you have to grow up a little so… Yeah. Being a grown up is hard.”
After a few days Yaeger was released and he went home to his one bedroom apartment – which was also filled with books. Molly went back home as well. The giant house only seemed to get bigger the longer that she stayed there. It was amazing how that phenomenon could happen. She could fill it with more things but it would only look bigger and emptier.
The nights that she spent alone were lonely but she soon found respite in the solitude by ordering books from the Book Stop. Yaeger sent her parenting books to fill her time. He also sent her empowerment and self-help books to facilitate some independence. Molly didn’t read them because they always made her feel less hopeful and more alone; she wasn’t sure why. She just filled up a bookshelf with them.
The days that Kevin was home, he did little to put her mind at ease. Instead of spending time with her, he began spending more and more time in his study. She didn’t understand it. She had broken off her affair so that she could concentrate on her family. Or rather, Justin had broken off their affair so she could only concentrate on her growing family. Why was Kevin being so distant now? Of all times?
She knocked on the office door. It was made of heavy wood – the door itself looked much more ornate than the other ones in the house. It was heavier and appeared stylish and sophisticated.
“Come on in,” he called.
Molly slid the door open. Her belly came into the room first. She wore a black and white striped shirt and a pair of stretch jeans with black flats. “Hey, Sweetie,” she said. “I just wanted to see you. I feel like we haven’t spent any time together in months. How are you?”
“Busy. Like always,” he said. He threw a pen down onto his table and let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen, I’d love to chat but I just don’t have the time right now. Is there something that you actually need?”
“No, I guess not,” she said. “But. I mean, I don’t want to seem needy but I have been so lonely here. Maybe you could squeeze some family time into your schedule?”
His eyes narrowed. “Did you hear what I just said?” he snapped.
“I’m sorry. Fine. I’ll just go,” she said, backpedaling toward the door. She shut it carefully and walked away. The hallway stretched out from the office. Molly pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Nattie’s number. “I miss you,” she said simply, before hanging up. Miguel met her at the end of the hallway.
“That was a short conversation,” he said.
“Nattie,” she explained, replacing her phone into her pocket again. “We hadn’t talked in a while. I got her machine.”
“You want to go for a walk around the property? It’s a nice day out. I mean, bring a coat. But it shouldn’t downpour on us,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.
“Thanks, that does sound great,” she said.
They made a quick pit stop at the hall closet before heading down to the sliding glass door that led to the patio. The white wicker furniture that sat under the patio cover gleamed at her. It was a beautiful day. The sky was a bright baby blue and the white puffy clouds danced across the sky in a slow waltz.
“You and Mr. Tyler have been fairly quiet lately. You used to argue a lot and now you don’t even do that.”
“Yeah, he hasn’t been around much. And when he is home, he doesn’t want to spend any time with me. I don’t know what to do. You think he doesn’t find me attractive anymore because of the baby belly?”
“Any man who doesn’t find his pregnant wife – or fiancé – attractive anymore needs to check himself,” Miguel said. He put his arm around her shoulders.
“You would tell me, wouldn’t you?” she said. “If he felt that way or if he was doing anything…”
“You think he’s cheating on you?” Miguel asked.
“I suppose it would only be fair,” she admitted. “Karma, right?”
“Why do you think he’s cheating on you?”
“He’s always had a fairly voracious…err, sexual appetite. And these days, he hasn’t been coming on to me or hinting at anything. Even when we first moved in and we weren’t seeing each other much, we had sex more often than we do now. It’s been nearly a month.”
“Oh… Uh…”
“He is seeing someone, isn’t he?” She backed away from him.
“Now, don’t get all worked up. Calm down for a minute and let me tell you what I know,” he said in an even tempered voice. His tone eased even more as he went on. “He’s been spending a lot of time at work lately and I’ve noticed that on his calendar, there have been empty spots when he is usually at the office. So I decided to visit him on one of these occasions – I just brought him coffee – but he wasn’t there. I waited around and saw him come back to the office with his secretary.”
“The secretary? Really? He couldn’t come up with anything more original than that? Not the night janitor, or a law firm partner, or the barista that serves him coffee…”
“The night janitor?” Miguel asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m upset, okay. I’m not in the right frame of mind. I’m not thinking straight. Ugh, and I can’t even say something about it, can I? Cause I was-”
“Nope,” Miguel interrupted. “Can’t hear you. You haven’t said anything that I have to report and I haven’t seen anything that I need to report either.”
“And it sickens me that you actually have to report back to him with what I’ve been doing all day.”
Miguel looked down at the grass around his shoes. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t actually tell him much. Normally I just tell him that you were boring today or that you didn’t do much outside of the house.” He thought for a moment. “Or that we spent a lot of time just running errands for the wedding. He never asks about details for the wedding.”
“The wedding. Am I supposed to get married to him after all of this?”
“You two really need to talk.”
It was the one thing that she hadn’t done: talked to Kevin. She had talked with everyone about her situation. Hypothetically, straight up, or just without mentioning names and yet, she didn’t feel as though she could talk with Kevin about anything. The more she thought about that fact, the more she realized that this is what her entire marriage was going to be like. So she called into his office and arranged a meeting with his slutty secretary. She didn’t give Stephanie her real name. She gave her a fake name under the guise that she was looking for a new lawyer.
When she showed up at Kevin’s office, he gave her the same look that he had when he threw her out of his study. “I’m busy,” he said. He turned his attention back to the papers on his desk and tried to shoo her away but instead she just closed the door.
“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
“Is it the baby?” he asked, not looking up from his desk.
“No, it’s us. There’s something wrong with us. You can’t deny that.”
“I’m not denying anything,” he said. “But this isn’t the time or place to discuss that sort of thing.”
“It’s happening now because you won’t give me any time outside of work either.”
“Fine. If I come home early tonight, will you go home now? I promise that we’ll talk tonight.”
“You keep saying things like that but I don’t feel like I can trust your promises anymore,” she said. Her voice began to rise but she quickly squashed her tone and took a breath. “Something always comes up.”
“It’s not like I do it on purpose, Molly.”
“Really? Because it feels like you do. I feel like you’re ignoring me on purpose. What did I do to you?” She gasped silently. Did he know about her affair? Is that why he was so upset with her? Is that why he was ignoring her?
“You didn’t do anything. We’ve just… We’ve grown apart,” he said. For the first time in a long while, she looked into his eyes and saw sincerity there. “You can’t deny that either.”
“No, I suppose I can’t.” She took a deep breath. “So what do we do now? Do we break up? Should I start making phone calls?”
“No. We’re not doing that. We can work this out. You’re having my baby. I’m going to take care of you and the baby and we’ll just have to fall in love again. I’m sure it won’t be hard. We’ve done it before.” He stood up and walked around his desk. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
It had been a while since they had been close. Everything about it seemed new again: his touch, his embrace, his smell… He had new cologne. Was it from her? Molly thought.
The next few days were difficult He was trying to make an effort at making more time for her. He took her shopping. They went out to dinner. He even came home early one night just to spend time with her on the couch. However, despite his efforts something was still wrong.
“We’ll get it back, right?” Molly asked him one night. She pushed some of the vegetables around on her plate.
“Get what back?” he asked, putting a forkful of potatoes into his mouth.
“Our groove or whatever. We’ll fall in love again, right?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, honestly. I’ve been trying really hard.”
“I know. I’m not saying that you haven’t.”
“And I know that you’re just as sweet as you were when we first met but…” His voice trailed off. “I’m not sure what’s wrong with us. Maybe we just neglected each other for too long.”
“I can’t do this forever,” she said. “We can’t live in a loveless marriage. Not with a kid. What’s this going to teach her?”
“Hey, it’s up to yo-” He stopped and looked up from his plate. “What do you mean her?”
“You’re kidding me, right?” she muttered. I’ve known for months that we’re having a girl and I’ve tried to tell you multiple times. You’re just hearing me out now? This is why we’re so broken, Kevin.”
The vein in his neck began to throb. Shit, I went too far, Molly thought. She planted her feet on the ground, ready to take off if he felt the need to throw his plate or scream at her. “Fine,” he said, after taking a deep breath. “Fair enough. I’ll settle this with a proposition. I will take care of you and your daughter if you pretend to be the dutiful wife. I’ll give you girls whatever you need as long as everyone thinks that we’re in a happy, loving relationship.”
“A fake marriage?”
“It’s not fake. We’ll really be married. It’ll just be… modeled.” He set his utensils down on the table. “Do you think you can do that?” He raised his hand and shook his head. “I mean, think about it. Before you give me an answer, just think about it for a bit.” His chair squealed as he pushed it back and walked out of the room. After all of the times that Molly had gotten up and just left when he upset her, this must have been his retaliation – his version of storming off.