“Hey there,” I say. I can feel the smile in my voice.
The sheet is half twisted around us, where we lie naked in the bed.
Light shines through the half-open curtains. Outside the window the bay is sparkling and the city is coming to life.
“Mmm.” He doesn’t open his eyes, just pulls me closer and kisses me on the forehead.
I close my eyes again and rest my head on the little nook his shoulder forms.
Sometimes it’s not big, dramatic moments. Sometimes it’s just waking up and not knowing where you are or what time it is or anything at all, but seeing a face and feeling like you’re home. Sometimes that’s all it takes to know you’re falling in love.
My phone rings, and I wake up for the second time. Jordan stays asleep, so I carefully untangle myself and climb out of bed. Stepping over the discarded corset and thong, I grab my phone off the charger.
Madison Macey’s name is on the screen, but the phone stops ringing before I can hit the green button.
My missed messages and calls replace her on the screen. Five voice mails. How the hell did that happen?
I grab Jordan’s undershirt off the floor and slip it over my head. Luckily it covers me up enough that I can step out onto the balcony, where I call her back, shutting the door quietly behind me.
“Cassie, where the hell have you been?”
I guess we’re skipping hello, then. “Uh...asleep. It’s only, like, ten.”
“God, college kids.”
“It’s Saturday.”
“Whatever. Anyway, I’ve been trying to call you to tell you America Weekly wants the story.”
Oh my God! “That’s—”
“For the final issue this month.”
“This month? It’s not done. We haven’t even finished the second round of interviews. And then I have to write the report. Like, there is so much analysis to do, there’s Professor Price to consult, peer reviews to submit and—”
“No, no, no. Cassie, stop talking.”
My mouth snaps shut.
“They don’t want an academic paper. They want to run your entries verbatim, diary-style. Just whatever you have so far will work.”
“But that eliminates context, and there were times when I was wrong. They can’t run it half-done. It won’t be honest.”
“It’s more important that we run it when we have the most buzz, which is right now.”
“But—”
“Cassie, these emails from your frat, they’re all over the news. This is your opportunity to take the story wider, to a national audience. This will launch your career, Cassandra. Next week you could be on the Today show, so stop complaining.”
“I’m not sure—”
There’s a knock on the door behind me.
“You know what, I’ll call you back.” I hang up and press the lock button.
“Hey.” I turn around as the door opens.
“What are you doing?” Jordan stands in the doorway, wrapped in a sheet.
“Just...thinking.”
He furrows his brow. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” My voice sounds frail. “Perfect.” And it is so close to being the truth. If that call hadn’t happened, if my reality was just him, a sheet barely covering his beautiful body, and me in his shirt, I’d have nothing in the world to worry about. But that call did happen, and it makes me sick to my stomach.
“Come back inside.”
“I will in a minute.” I lean over and peck him on the cheek, my phone still in my hand.
When I lean back he stares at me, concern in his eyes.
I force a smile.
“Okay, I’m gonna shower,” he says.
I nod.
When the door closes again, I turn back to the city. Leaning over the railing, I stare out at the cars and debate calling Madison Macey back.
Then I decide maybe I can let myself stay in the dream just a little bit longer, so I turn my phone off and head back inside.
The bathroom door is slightly open, swirls of steam sneaking out. I walk over and open it farther.
I shed the T-shirt, letting it fall to the floor, and pull back the shower curtain.
“Hey.” He smiles, then takes my hand to help me step over the edge of the tub.
He’s so happy, in this pure, carefree, precious way. For him, there’s no expiration date looming over us. There’s just great sex and fun dates and sweet words and laughing until it hurts, waking up next to each other and days spent entirely in bed, snuggling, and adventures to more cities where we know no one and nothing except that we will go together, ad infinitum. I smile, so my face doesn’t give away my sadness.
He kisses me slowly, sweetly. Like we have all the time in the world to just enjoy being with each other.
I kiss him back, and then slip under the water, so he doesn’t see the tear slip down my cheek.