Chapter 8 – James

I fucking knew this was a bad idea. I knew it. Why didn’t I listen to my own gut?

She’s collapsed in the bottom of the cage, desperately gulping air, and I can’t get the winch to bring her in any faster. It’s a good job the water is so clear today. Otherwise, I might not have even known there was a problem. Why didn’t she pull on her line? She could have let me know she was in trouble, and I would have started pulling her up right away.

It’s this fucking place, this spot. It must be fucking cursed or something. First my sister and now the woman I love?

The woman I love? Where did that come from?

I don’t have any time to mull over the choice of words inside my own head. The cage swings over to the deck, and I let it down as quickly as I can without hurting her. She’s screaming, tearing at her mask and suit, almost hyperventilating.

“Get it off, get it the hell off of me! Fuck, get it away.”

“All right, cool down, you’re safe.”

She’s ignoring me, kicking out at the side of the cage. “Let me out! Please, let me out!”

I’ve got the cage door open in an instant, and I take hold of her arm, gently easing her out onto the deck of The Signet. I help her out of the mask even as she’s kicking and screaming, wordlessly hitting out at the nearest object, which happens to be me.

“Hey, easy, easy. You’re safe, it’s me, it’s James. Nothing’s going to hurt you.”

“I can’t... I don’t want to...” She curls her legs up into a fetal position, and I hug her close, knowing that the shock will make her cold.

“Easy now, easy. Nobody’s going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. You’ve just had a shock, that’s all.”

Her eyes come up to meet mine, and a look of recognition crosses her face. Her breathing becomes steady; still labored, but regular. I brush stray blond hair away from her face, clear her eyes of the remaining salt water. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no need. Just take it easy. I’ll get you a towel.”

I start to lay her back down, but her hand comes to grip my arm. “No, please, just stay with me.” Her gaze is intense. “Please, don’t leave me.”

“Okay, I won’t leave. But you need to get out of those wet things.”

She shakes her head. “No... no...”

“The shock will freeze you. I’ll carry you if you like, but you need to get into the cabin and dry off.”

“Carry me...” Her voice is distant, and I can’t be sure if she’s giving instructions or just repeating what she heard me say. Either way, I’m taking it as what I want to hear.

“Okay, hold tight.”

Lifting her in my arms only brings her closer, the scent of seawater mixing with her citrus perfume in my nostrils, the weight of her body pressed against mine. It’s an intoxicating combination, and now that the moment of panic is over, it doesn’t take me long to start to see her again as a woman. A beautiful, beguiling woman.

I heft her higher in my arms, strength built up from years of hauling fish coming into play as I maneuver her away from my growing erection, certain that right now is not the time to let her feel that thing pressing against her.

Her arms instinctively go to wrap around my neck, cold fingers pressing in beneath the line of my hair, running along my bearded jaw. I have to close my eyes and take a deep breath of fresh air to stop my thoughts running away with me. Carrying her to the cabin is the longest walk of my life as I try desperately to stay aloof, to see this for what it is: a moment of danger followed by relief.

In the shade of the cabin, I kick out at the door to my little hold room. It’s not much, but there have been nights when I’ve been glad of the option to sleep aboard my boat, away from the heat on the shore or regrets for a different life that might have been. I have to turn sideways to carry Everly down the steps, lifting her up higher in my arms, and it’s then that it happens.

The kiss takes me by surprise, her mouth coming up to meet mine, her lips first grazing my cheek then finding their way to cover my mouth. Her eyes gaze deep into mine as she pushes herself up and forward in my arms, crushing her tits against my chest as her tongue gingerly moves past my lips.

For a moment, I’m frozen. Fuck, this is so unlike me. A woman, giving herself to me? I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do. It’s not the woman part, hell no. I damn sure know what to do with a woman.

It’s her.

It’s this thing between us.

She’s not just a woman, and this isn’t just lust and sex. I feel it in the places where her body is touching mine. Like tiny firecrackers going off under my skin. Microscopic, invisible tattoos my flesh will never relinquish.

The explosion of emotion bubbling inside of me flares without warning.

My hands come up to grip her by the upper arms, drawing her in close and grinding our lips together until I feel our teeth knock into each other.

The thunder that’s been raging inside of me since she crossed my line of sight suddenly stills. The angry sea in my heart settling into glass, and for a brief moment, I’m gliding through that water toward the vision of her with me that flashed in my mind that first moment.

Our hearts are pounding in unison. The riot of my breathing matches hers in growing intensity.

Together, we’re something more than the sum of our parts. I’m more now than just the angry captain. She’s more than the smart girl trying to save the world. There’s an understanding between us, and even now, in the moment when she should fear me most, her trusting innocence is stunning.

I groan an expletive into our kiss. Clenching her harder into me, I’m left unsure how she can even draw a full breath.

Her soft, female noises turn. They are imbued now with a hint of her fear, but her tongue meets mine with ever greedier need, and I answer back with my own.

Spinning on my heel, I’ve got her tiny body against the wall. The wooden door just to my left unlatches with the force and swings open, smacking into the opposite wall.

“Fuck.” I mouth into our kiss, unsure if this is even a kiss at all. Because it sure as shit doesn’t feel like anything I’ve done before. Things are lighting up inside me from my toes to the top of my head, and a whole fuck-ton of energy is focused behind the zipper of my pants.

I have to tear myself away. I have to see her, see all of her. I have to look down into those eyes that tell me she’d run if she could, but she can’t. She’s the rabbit, and I’m the fox. I’ll keep her here as long as it suits me, and right now, it fucking suits me.

“You feel that?” I shove my hips into her. My erection presses hard into her belly. I need her to know what she’s doing to me. But I also need her to know I’m in control. And I’ll only give her what I choose. What she needs. Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Her nod is married to a warm exhale. The scent of her sweet breath fills my nose, making me wish I knew what aroma was lurking between those luscious, milky-white thighs. The thought sends my dick another inch higher, and the pain of my need only spurs on the beast clawing to get out.

I swallow hard, watching her eyes dart around my face. My fingers are still tight into her arms, holding her at my will, hemmed between the wall of the cabin and the wall of my body.

“You’re going to do what I tell you.” It’s not a question. My breath comes faster and deeper as the animal uncoils inside of me.

“Yes.” Her voice is barely a peep, but her affirmative tells me what I’ve known since the first moment I set eyes on her. She will be my muse. The only one who understands the quiet monster that’s lurked inside of me, hidden, observing, never quite feeling safe enough to show himself.

She will be my freedom.

“I’m not like other men,” I growl into her ear as I lower her feet back to the floor.

“I’m not like other girls,” she whispers back, her eyes full of challenge, and I’m not sure if she knows how dangerous that is. Challenging me. It’s like a flame to my dynamite.

“If you were, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

My hands lock around her throat. This is what I need. Her breath. Her very being, both here and in my possession.

I can’t explain it, but her eyes tell me she understands everything, better than I could ever put into words.

“Are you going to hurt me?” Her question is lit with fear, but it’s controlled. Almost exhilarated.

“Would you like that?” I ask, tightening my grip around her neck until her lips fall open and the solid form of her windpipe becomes clear and defined in my palm. Yes, I do want to hurt her, but never to harm her. I pray she will understand the difference.

“Yes,” she whispers, then her eyes flash with terror. “That is, I honestly don’t know. But, I think...” I feel her swallow under my grip, her eyes wider and her breathing shallow. “I would like to know.”

Her hot breath burns my chest, more passionate than I can bear. I bring my mouth back to crush into hers. Taking her kiss while stealing her breath. My hands tighten, just enough to make her tense and freeze. The fear is driving me. Her willingness is feeding me.

But her taste is pushing me to the brink of my control.

Our tongues wrap and twist. I push my length into her even as it weeps with cum behind my zipper, sensitive enough now to make my legs tense as the head bends against her flesh. When I center my thigh between her legs and shove upward into her heated cunt, the pained moan in her throat only makes me hurt more.

The momentum is growing. Faster and faster our mouths move, even as she begins to struggle to breathe. I loosen, giving her the space she needs, then take it away again as I deepen our kiss. My tongue moves hard down and into her mouth until I feel her body go slack in my grip.

I pull back, if only to look into those eyes. And what I see looking back takes me by surprise. It’s pure awe. She’s looking at me like I’m her king. The gratitude I see there shakes me to my bones.

I drop my hands from her throat, and she gratefully draws a deep, long breath, keeping her eyes on me like I might take her again, like she might not try to stop me. Then she says, “I could have died out there today.”

That’s it. She doesn’t say “thank you for saving me.” Not “I was afraid” or “my reaction wasn’t like me.” Her words are a simple statement of fact, and the truth of it hits me like a shot to the temple.

For a moment, I’m lost. No breath comes to my lungs, and I have to step back, leaving her staring up at me with longing and confusion in those stunning deep blue eyes.

Abject fear wraps up my spine and sinks into my gut. What she said has broken the trance and forces me to step back farther, no longer able to be myself. The memories of what came before, what happened in this very spot all those years ago, wash over me and turn my mind black.

“Come on.” It’s all I can manage and I hate myself, but the switch has flipped, and what was just happening cannot possibly happen. I don’t have that part of me to give someone. Especially not her.

Because she’s managed to weave herself into my heart, and that is one dangerous and sinking ship. The battle inside me roars on, but she’s cast a spell around me for us both, for the safety of both our hearts. To keep her from danger I have to keep her from me, and as hard as it is, I turn away and leave her standing, eyes the size of dinner plates, and what I imagine is a pussy so wet, I would feast on it in place of any generous meal.

I don’t need a woman in my life. Fuck. I just don’t need this. I never have.

What just happened was a mistake, that’s all. I reach down to adjust my rigid dick that may never find relief.

We were both high on adrenaline after the incident down in the cage. She was panicking; she needed to feel some human contact, to confirm to herself that she made it out safely. As for me, sure, I like her. Of course I do. Any man would. But I should know better than to get involved with someone, especially someone like her.

She’s a danger to my emotions. One day, she’ll die down there, under the water. I know she will. And she might be happy to take that risk, but I can’t, not after everything that happened. What if they never find her body? They never found Sarah’s body. As a family, we were never able to grieve. I can’t go through that again.

I won’t go through that again.

Stomping to the controls with a stifled grunt, I take a glance out at the horizon. Dark clouds are lying ominously out there, and the wind has picked up to a fair clip. I start up the engines and head forward, turning around in a wide arc that will take me away from the breeding ground. I suddenly want to be anywhere but there.

As I bring The Signet back into the harbor, rain is just starting to hammer against the cabin windows, and I hear Everly behind me, exiting my little hold room.

“Look, about what just happened—”

“Don’t mention it,” I say, cutting her off, not even turning to look at her. I don’t want the sight of her to put me off my game. “It was just one of those things. No harm done.” I point out of the port window. “Storm’s coming in. You won’t get any more diving done today. The Beachcomber will probably be up and running in the morning, so Lance will be able to take you back out there again.”

“I don’t want—”

“As you said before, his boat is much better equipped than this one. I’m glad I was able to help you out, though.”

A bolt of lightning streaks across the darkened sky, followed by a roll of low thunder. It may not have been in the cards, but this storm looks like it’s going to get worse before it gets better.