No matter how drunk I get, there’s always a point in time when I sober up. It seems to happen suddenly, be it from the passage of time, or the witnessing of a particularly sobering event. But, inevitably, one minute I’m drunk and the next I’m stone cold sober.

“It’s bad enough that the cameras are watching,” Karen complained. “But you? It seems weird.”

I gave her a dismissive look.

“Doesn’t really bother me,” Eric said.

Karen shot him a shallow glare, and then shifted her eyes to me. She cocked her narrow hip. “I don’t think you have to be here.”

“We snuck in here without being caught,” I said. “If I go out there, the camera crew will wonder where he is, and they’ll come looking for him.”

It was an utter and complete lie. They knew precisely where he was, and they were watching from the production room, I was sure of it. No differently than when they watched Les and Randy, my guess was that they were gathered around the monitors placing bets on who was going to do what to who.

She motioned toward one of the ceiling mounted cameras. “They know where he is.”

Shit.

She wasn’t as dumb as I thought.

I motioned toward the corner of the bedroom with my eyebrows. “I’ll just sit in the corner. You won’t even know I’m in here.”

“No.”

“Closet?”

“No.”

She was quickly going from someone I liked to being a bitch. Watching from the production room was an option, but seeing them go at it live was what I had hoped for.

“Fine,” I huffed. “Come get me when you’re done.”

I stomped to the door, slung it open, and after giving Karen a side-eyed glare, stepped into the hallway and pulled the door closed.

I ran down the hallway and yanked the production room door open. Two men with sunken eyes and open mouths turned to face me. They looked like utter shit. It must have been the late-night crew.

“Hi,” I said cheerily. I stepped inside and pulled the door closed. “Guess what?”

The man closest to me, who was thin and wearing an awesome loose-curled afro, grinned. “What?”

“Those two in the bedroom at the end of the hall are going to fuck, and we’re going to watch them.”

He sighed. “We already are. Have a seat.”

I smiled. “I’ll stand.”

“Suit yourself.”

I glanced around the room. “There’s sound, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Turn it up, I want to hear them.”

He glanced at the other man. His closely cropped brown hair and horn-rimmed glasses made him look like a math nerd.

He shrugged.

I took a quick glance at the monitor. Eric was still dressed, and he was talking to Karen.

“Either of you guys like to make bets?” I asked.

“Like what?” Afro asked.

“I bet his cock is so big that he can’t get it all the way in.”

He glanced at the monitor and then at me. “The guy with the muscles?”

“He’s the only one in the room with a cock. As far as I know, anyway.”

“Pussies are pretty pliable,” he said. “They stretch.”

“I know.” I chuckled. “I’ve got one.”

He looked at the nerd and then at me. “What’s the bet?”

“Fifty bucks,” I said.

He gave a nod. “Bet.”

“I’ll take that action,” Nerd said. “She’s no novice.”

I smiled and looked at the monitor positioned directly above me. “Can you zoom in and out?”

“Pan, zoom, switch cameras. We’ve got every angle covered,” Afro said.

I rubbed my hands together. “Popcorn?”

“Beef jerky,” he said.

“Give it up.”

After handing me a Slim Jim, we all took a seat and watched the giant dick debacle unfold.

“I ain’t looking to be in a relationship or anything,” Eric said. “I just--”

Karen laughed. “Did I say I wanted to get married? I want to fuck. That’s it.”

She pulled her shirt over her head and reached behind her back.

“All business,” Nerd said. “Gotta respect that.”

She took off her bra and tossed it aside. After wrestling her shorts down her legs, she peeled off her panties and dropped them at her feet.

“We’ve got grass on the field!” Nerd announced.

“What the fuck?” Afro gasped. “What is that?”

He grabbed the laptop, switched cameras, and zoomed in on her crotch a little. “A fucking landing strip,” he said with a laugh. “Haven’t seen one of those in a while.”

“It’s not a strip,” Nerd argued. “Looks like a merkin.”

“What the fuck’s a merkin?” I asked.

“A wig.” He wagged his finger toward the monitor. “Zoom in a little more.”

Afro zoomed in. After bringing nothing but Karen’s crotch into view, it seemed her pussy was wearing a little hair hat.

“Told you. Bitch has got a merkin. You don’t see one of those every day”

“No.” Afro motioned toward the monitor. “It’s real. See? The hair is attached.”

I stared in disbelief, trying to figure out just what in the hell she had going on. Her pussy, at least the important part, was shaved clean. Above it, however, there was a patch of hair that resembled a little pussy wig.

“It’s a glue-on,” Nerd exclaimed. “A merkin.”

“It’s gross,” I said.

“She’s got a cute pussy, though,” Afro said.

She was now standing in front of Eric with her back facing us. Her three-inch thigh gap revealed a picture-perfect pussy. At least from behind. “Agreed.”

He made the lens wide again, allowing the entire room to be viewed. As soon as Eric came into view, Nerd shouted.

“Holy shit,” Nerd gasped. “That dude should be in a circus.”

I chuckled. “I know, right?”

Afro shifted his eyes from the monitor to the laptop. “Dayumm. Dude’s packing a schlong, huh?”

Completely naked, Eric was standing in front of Karen. It was obvious his body was something he’d worked hard to develop. Covered in muscular symmetry, he looked like a Greek God. But it wasn’t his body that any of us were looking at.

I pointed at the monitor. “It’s not even hard yet.”

Afro cocked his head to the side and stared. “Holy shit, it’s not. He’s still swinging.”

I looked at him. “Swinging?”

He took a bite of jerky and nodded. “When a guy’s not hard, it swings from side to side like that. When it’s stiff, it’s more like an arm wave.” With his hand dangling toward the floor, he allowed his arm to swing back and forth, pivoting at the elbow. “The base is the fulcrum.”

“I see.”

After my Physics lesson in dangling dicks, my attention went back to the monitor. Standing in front of Eric, Karen lowered herself to her knees.

“Bet she can’t even get it in her mouth,” Nerd said. “That’s the biggest damned thing I’ve ever seen.”

Afro took another bite of his Slim Jim. “Looks like she’s gonna try.”

Karen gripped his shaft with both hands, studied the tip for a moment, and then licked her lips in preparation.

I made repeated comparisons between her forearm and Eric’s dick, and there wasn’t a measurable difference. In fact, with her dainty hands wrapped around it, it brought everything into perspective.

She was small, and Eric’s cock wasn’t.

She opened her mouth wide, and encompassed the tip of it with her lips.

Nerd let out a laugh. “Holy shit, she’s got a big mouth.”

“She’s got the head in,” I said.

Afro wagged his jerky toward the monitor. “No, it’s just the tip.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The head is from the tip to the rim,” Afro explained. “She’s just got the tip in. She hasn’t made it to the rim.”

He zoomed in, and then pointed to the monitor. “See?”

Karen’s jaw was stretched wide. She looked like the videos I’d seen in school of a snake eating an egg that was three times the size of its jaw. Despite her best effort, it appeared she wasn’t going to be sucking much of Eric’s dick.

“Damned shame,” Nerd said. “I’d like to watch her gag on that big fucker.”

They seemed more like porn producers than camera men for a dating show. “Do you guys film porn?” I asked. “You seem pretty versed in this stuff.”

“You’d be surprised at what we see in here,” he said. “And, when it gets slow, we watch porn.”

“Of course you do,” I said with a laugh. “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen? Not in porn, but while you’re filming one of these shows.”

Afro looked at Nerd. Nerd shrugged. “Tell her about Mr. Bendy.”

I glanced at the monitor. Karen was still trying to force Eric’s cock into her mouth. It seemed that any minute her jaw was going to come dislodged.

I looked at Afro. “Mr. Bendy?”

He nodded. “Last year. Skinny guy on Mr. Perfect. The guys were sleeping two to a room, except for him. One night, he was on top of the bed after taking a shower, and he started stretching. Next thing we knew, he was sucking his own dick.

I’d never heard of such a thing. My eyes shot wide. “What?”

He nodded. “Pulled his feet back beside his head, and after about ten minutes of stretching, it was in his mouth.”

“Holy crap.” I looked at Nerd.

He nodded. “True story.”

I thought about it for a second, and then had to ask. “So, did he uhhm. You know.”

“That’s where it got really weird.”

“Weirder than a guy sucking his own dick?”

“He had his thighs in his hands and was kind of, I don’t know, like fucking his own mouth. You know, pulling against his legs, and forcing himself into his mouth. Fucking guy was forcing himself to deepthroat his own dick. Then, after a while, he let go and began stroking it. When he started breathing heavy, he latched onto his thigh with one hand and stroked it with the other.”

I stared back at him wide-eyed, waiting for more.

“He pointed it at his face, opened wide, and then blew a load right in his own mouth.”

It was exciting and gross at the same time. A shiver ran along my spine. After I recovered, I let out a laugh. “Was he a spitter or a swallower?”

“Swallowed every drop.”

I was fascinated. “That is weird,” I said.

“On the subject of swallowing things,” Nerd said. “I think she’s giving up.”

Karen was still on her knees. With Eric’s cock in one hand, and her other hand between her legs, she fingered herself while she expressed her concerns.

She looked up at him with apologetic eyes. “I want to, I just can’t. My jaw is killing me.”

“That’s okay,” Eric said with a shrug. “Wanna fuck?”

She glanced at his cock, and then met his gaze. “Yeah, but slow. Okay?”

He grinned and nodded.

Standing in front of the bed, she bent at the waist a few times, all but touching the floor with her forehead each time. Then, she flattened her chest against the edge of the bed, hiked her ass high in the air, and looked back at him. “Slow. Go slow.”

“Flexible bitch,” Afro said.

“Mrs. Bendy,” I said with a laugh.

So far, the show was more comedic than anything. I’d found great sexual value in watching Les and Randy suck each other’s cocks. Simply watching them make out at Franky’s house made me so horny I was dripping wet.

Watching Karen and Eric, however, was a different story. It may have been the remote viewing or the company I was keeping, but their sexual romp was ho-hum at best.

Eric shuffled toward her with his cock in his hand. His dick reached her long before he did. Standing thirteen inches behind her, he rubbed the tip against her merkin-laden mound.

“There’s no way,” I said. “Look at the size of that thing.”

Afro zoomed in, filling the screen with nothing but Karen’s pussy and Eric’s massive stick. Guiding the apple-sized head with his hand, he rubbed against her slit repeatedly, moistening the tip with her juices.

“God damn with the foreplay,” Karen complained from off-camera. “Give me the dick.”

The head pressed hard against her folds. It seemed she was going to be turned inside out.

And then…

Pop!

The head disappeared, rim included.

“Oh God,” she moaned.

“Zoom out,” I shouted. “Zoom out! I want to see her face.”

With frantic fingers, Afro zoomed out.

Karen’s back was arched and her face was flat against the bed. From what I could see, she looked extremely uncomfortable.

I wagged my finger toward the monitor. “Zoom in on her face.”

Crazy fingers complied.

Her teeth were gnawing against her bottom lip. She looked like she was being tattooed, and was in sheer agony. After several seconds of the same facial expression, her jaw stretched wide and she went bug-eyed. A moan escaped her that resembled what I would have expected from a moose in heat.

“Zoom out, zoom out!” I shouted. “He must be giving it to her.”

Afro fumbled with the track pad, and then the view widened.

At least six inches of Eric’s thick cock was inside Karen, and he was forcing her to take more, inch by inch, without objection.

“She did it,” I screeched. “She’s taken almost all of it.”

Eric moved his hips back and forth. With each stroke, Karen wailed in pleasure. On shaking legs, she took all that he offered her. After a few strokes, every inch of him was buried deep inside of her.

I stared in amazement at their accomplishment.

“Never would have guessed it,” I said.

“I would have,” Nerd said. “Anyone who wears a merkin is into some serious fucking. And, she’s a skinny bitch. All skinny bitches can take a big cock.”

“Zoom in on her twat,” I said with a laugh.

Afro switched cameras, and zoomed in between her legs. Nerd was right. Now that Eric was balls deep, it was clear to see that Karen’s pussy could easily accept a finger or two in addition to the dick that was in it.

I’d never seen anything like it. Her pussy was huge. “Jesus,” I gasped. “She’s got a really big hoo-ha.”

“Most of those skinny bitches have a hatchet wound.” Afro said.

I shot him a look. “Hatchet wound?”

He nodded. “Hatchet wound. That’s what we call it. Looks like she got hit between the legs with a hatchet. You know, an axe.”

“I’m from Kansas. I know what a hatchet it. That’s gross.”

He shrugged. “All the skinny girls have ‘em.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. And curvy girls have tiny ones.”

“What am I?”

He looked at Nerd.

“Jesus,” I said. “Just tell me.”

He turned to face me. “Curvy. Kind of.”

“So, my twat’s medium sized?”

He cocked his head and shrugged.

I’d always thought my pussy was tight, but I’d never made any kind of comparison to another woman’s. I figured if anyone knew, it would be the two idiots beside me. “I’ll accept that.”

“Pan out and hand me another jerky,” I said. “Let’s watch her get dicked.”

He handed me a Slim Jim and widened the field of view. “You know what?”

I bit the end of the jerky off and stared at the monitor. “What’s that?”

“You’re pretty cool for a girl,” he said.

“No shit,” Nerd chimed.

“Thanks. Now be quiet. I want to hear what they’re saying.”

Eric wasn’t vocal at all. He’d been fucking her for ten solid minutes, and had yet to say a single word. Karen, on the other hand, was moaning like a cow.

With his hands on his hips, Eric continued his steady pace. If anything, he seemed to lack interest. After the initial shock of watching him try to penetrate her, what we were left with was rather boring. Karen seemed to be the only one enjoying it, and from what I could see and hear, she was having an orgasm about every three strokes.

“He’s got no game,” I said.

“Sure doesn’t,” Afro agreed.

I shook my head and let out a sigh. “He needs a coach.”

“Don’t look at me,” he said.

“That’s not what I meant. I’ll do it. He just needs to know what girls like, and that isn’t it.” I pointed at the monitor. “Look at him. He’s got his hands on his hips.”

After a few more boring strokes, Eric made an announcement.

“I’m gonna come.”

“I…want…to…watch.” Karen said between breaths.

“Oh,” I screeched. “Here comes the money shot.”

“Where will he blow it?” Nerd asked.

“Four options,” Afro said. “Butt, belly, tits, face.”

“She’ s flat chested,” Nerd said. “He’ll do the face.”

“She’s got a cute ass. I’m going for the butt,” Afro said.

“I’m with him,” I said. “Face.”

Eric leaned back and pulled free of Karen’s confines. While he slowly stroked it, she got her balance, turned to face him, closed her eyes, and tilted her head back.

“She’s taking it on the mug,” Nerd said.

“Looks like it.”

Eric let out a wail, shuddered, and stroked his cock frantically a few times. Then, he exploded.

It wasn’t an explosion in a conventional sense. I mean, he didn’t burst into a million pieces and shower the room with body parts. But. He shot a stream of cum so hard that it startled Karen enough that she opened her eyes.

And then, he shot another.

Her eyes slammed shut and her face distorted.

He shot another long rope of cum onto her forehead.

After one more on her chin, she was covered in cum.

Completely.

Seeing her get plastered with three long bursts of cum was my sobering moment.

“Holy shit,” Afro said. “That’s awesome.”

I looked away, but not for long. “Awesome as long as you’re not her.”

“Clean up in room three,” Nerd said jokingly.

As Karen gasped for her next breath. Eric let out a sigh and backed up to the bed. “Holy crap,” he said. “I haven’t done that in a long time.”

Karen wiped her face with her palms and then gazed down at her cum-filled hands. Without expressing any emotion, she glanced over each shoulder and then realized there was no bathroom in the room. “Can you uhhm.” She nodded toward the pool of cum in her hands. “Can you grab me something?”

Eric grabbed his shirt from the floor and handed it to her.

She wiped her hands, stood, and let out a heavy sigh. “I came about twenty times.”

He nodded. “Cool.”

“Your cock is perfect,” she said.

“Thanks.”

“He doesn’t like her gash,” Afro said. “Or he would have said, I like yours, too.”

I studied Eric’s face. He wore his feelings like a mask and tonight’s was indifference.

“Maybe you’re right,” I said.

Karen walked toward her pile of clothes. She looked rough. Her cum-laced hair was everywhere and her legs could barely hold her up.

“I should probably go,” she said as she gathered her clothes.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” Eric said.

“Looks like the show’s over,” Afro said. He slapped his hand against his palm. “Time to pay up.”

“Keep a running tab,” I said. “I’ve got a few ideas, and I’m sure you guys will want a piece of the action.”

He looked at Nerd.

Nerd nodded.

“Sounds good,” he said.

“I’ll be back tomorrow night for sure,” I said. “But I don’t think she’ll be the one we’ll be watching.”

“She won’t?”

“No,” I said. “I think I’ll find a curvy girl. They’re more fun.”