Julia sulked about his interference for the next three days, only speaking to him when necessary. They lived in the same house and traveled to the club together, yet she continued to give him the silent treatment.
He’d had enough.
Ryan waited until she finished her shower and returned to her bedroom. He took a quick shower, pulled on a pair of boxer-briefs and headed for her room ready to have the subject out with her. If that meant an argument then too bad. He was sick of damn pussyfooting around her.
He rapped on the door, waited an instant. Of course she didn’t invite him in. Bugger that. He shoved the door open and stormed inside. “I want our marriage to work. I was trying to help, damn it.”
“I know.” Julia reclined on the bed and looked as miserable as he’d felt since their confrontation.
“I don’t want to argue with you.”
She sat up, then climbed under the covers and propped a pillow behind her for greater comfort. “I wish you and Caleb had talked to me first.”
“Would you have accepted our money?”
Her forehead scrunched up as she hesitated. “I don’t know. Maybe. But you didn’t give me a chance because you took the decision out of my hands.”
“Look, we’re both new to this marriage business. We’re going to make mistakes.”
“Not me,” she said, but her cheeks reddened at the patent untruth.
“No? You don’t think you jumped to conclusions without giving me the benefit of doubt?”
“We’re not talking about the loan anymore,” she said in a flat voice.
“No.”
“I tried to ring you. I tried to email you. I even rang your manager. Then there were the photos.” She sucked in a deep breath, staring down at her hands. “When I was twenty-one I got engaged. The entire time my fiancé was cheating on me. His actions might have colored my reaction to you.”
News to him. “How did you discover he was cheating?”
“An STD. I hadn’t slept with anyone else, which meant he had.”
“Hell,” Ryan said.
“Yeah.”
Indignation filled him on her behalf and a slice of pissed too, at her dumping a crappy past at his door and judging him by the same standards as her ex. He hadn’t damn well cheated on her, hadn’t looked at another woman. “I didn’t deserve that.”
“No, you didn’t,” she said, eyes narrowing when he sent her a stink eye. “Don’t you think I know that? How unfair I’m being? I can’t help it. The guilt—” Her lips pressed together, and she gave an irritable shrug. “It’s cold tonight. Why don’t you get into bed with me?”
Her casual suggestion took some of the ginger out of his mood, but not enough to make his mind stop working. “Why are you guilty?”
When she ignored his question, Ryan slid under the covers and slithered closer. Perhaps pushing his luck, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her against his chest. To his relief she gave a tired sigh and relaxed into his embrace. “We should make a pact,” he whispered against her hair.
“And that would be?”
“We need to talk about things instead of jumping to conclusions. We will never build trust between us if we don’t share our thoughts.”
“I know. I’m guilty of running away and hiding my head in the sand.” Her voice was muffled against his shoulder. “I told you I tried to contact you while the band was in Europe.”
“But you understand the lack of communication was a mistake, a one off. It will never happen again.”
“I do. A comedy of errors.”
Ryan snorted. “Black errors.” His fingers roved her back. “I’ve hated sleeping alone during the last couple of nights.”
“I needed time to—”
“Sulk?”
“Maybe.” She huffed out a laugh. “Should I make it up to you?”
“Depends.” He nuzzled her neck and took two tiny bites of her silky skin. “Are we good now? Do you forgive me? Are you going to throw our money back in our faces?”
“That would be silly of me. Now that the debt is cleared, I’ll go into the reopening with a clean slate. I won’t have the pressure of keeping up the loan payments.”
“Caleb and I want to test out a couple of our songs with an audience. Would you let us provide some of the music?”
“I’d be stupid to turn you away, but aren’t you worried about blowing your cover? You go to so much trouble hiding your identities.”
“We’ve made excellent progress on our new arrangements. Neil and Jeff will return to Auckland any day now, and we need to practice. Caleb and I figured if we do covers combined with a few of our new songs, that would work. Would you let us try?”
“I’d be silly to say no.” She licked across his collarbone and wriggled against him.
“So we have a deal about discussing things that irk us instead of reacting with our guts or sulking?”
“We have a deal,” she said and lifted her head to seal it with a kiss. It was slow and steamy and streaked electricity to his cock. She took the kiss deeper, twining her tongue with his until he could think of nothing but pushing into her tight warmth.
When she lifted her head, he gripped her shoulders to draw her close again.
“No,” she whispered. “Let me.” Julia scooted under the covers and licked one nipple. Her hair grazed his skin as she moved lower. Her hands were everywhere, moving across his thighs, his belly and pinching his butt.
He let out a yelp, which turned into a strangled moan when the heat of her mouth surrounded the tip of his erection. When her tongue came into play, sensible flew from his mind and he focused on the sensations. She stroked him with an expertise that tossed him into turmoil, had his balls tightening and a steady stream of pre-come leaking from his slit. She teased him until he shuddered, his cock so full and tight he wondered if he might burst out of his skin. His hand slipped down to cradle her head, his fingers sliding into her silky hair.
“Take me inside you,” he whispered. “Ride me.”
She released his shaft with a distinct pop, and thankfully wriggled up his body. She reached into the bedside drawer for a condom and rolled it down his shaft with quick proficiency. Ryan swallowed, savoring her innate beauty with her messy blonde hair, her sparkling brown eyes and swollen mouth, aware of how lucky he was to have her in his arms.
He stared at her as she guided him to her and sank down an increment at a time. She flexed around him, clutching his shaft when she rose and fell. She increased her pace, sliding her fingers down her body to get herself off.
A moan slipped from her lips, and she threw her head back, freezing with his cock partially embedded in her pussy. Her inner muscles squeezed his shaft, and she gasped.
Her brown eyes opened, and she winked at him. “Nice moves.”
“Do I get a reward for holding back?”
The corners of her eyes crinkled. “You didn’t have to.” She lifted her weight and slid back down again with more force. “How is that?”
“Like you’re strangling my cock.”
She chuckled and he gripped her hips, yanking her down on his dick, so close to release stars flashed behind his closed eyes. He lifted her and pulled her down again and came, his climax taking him to the knife edge of pain, yet the pleasure swelled through him until he felt as if he were exploding through the air. He came down gradually and sent Julia a lazy smile of satisfaction.
“That was amazing.”
“It was good on my side too.” She slipped off him and padded to the bathroom. While he removed the condom, he heard the water turn on and off again. She returned minutes later with a glass of water, her throat working as she swallowed it down.
“Do you want a glass?”
“Sure.”
She disappeared and returned, handing the water to him. “I’m getting excited about opening night. Did you still want to play at the hen’s night?”
“Yes. It would just be Caleb and me.”
Julia nodded and crawled under the covers. She cuddled against him with a sigh.
Ryan pressed a kiss to her temple. “Good night, sweetheart.”
Julia closed her eyes. “Good night.”
She sensed the moment Ryan fell asleep. Her muscles ached from exercise and exhaustion pulled at her mind. Yet she was nowhere near falling asleep. She’d had the perfect opportunity to tell him about their baby, but even after their discussion about honesty and openness, she’d choked. Heck, she’d opened her mouth to confess, but the lump in her throat had prevented her from speaking. And the longer she’d left it, the harder it was to tell him about the child she’d wanted so badly, about the never-ending guilt inside her. A tear squeezed free and ran down her cheek.
Maybe she’d tell him another time.
Anguish twisted in her as she recalled the baby she’d lost. Another tear escaped, and she let it, crying for the past and lost opportunities.
The hen’s night passed without a hitch, and the women loved the burlesque lessons. They were equally complimentary about the music and the routines Julia and the other dancers did for them. Now it was the unofficial opening night. As Julia had planned, they’d saved the advertising for the following weekend, wanting to iron out any problems before they attempted to attract customers.
“Are you sure you want to dance tonight?” Julia asked Christina and Susan.
“Heck yeah,” Susan said. “It was such a rush dancing at the hen’s night.”
“You just want the gazes of the male customers crawling over you,” Maggie said.
“Ah, but they won’t recognize me,” Susan said triumphantly. “Not when I’m wearing a wig, a sexy mask and one of the classy costumes Christina has organized.”
“But their eyes will still crawl over you,” Maggie pointed out. “And not in a good way.”
Susan grinned. “You’re just ticked because Connor won’t let you dance. You’ve spouted his reasons.”
Maggie rubbed her backside, her manner rueful. “I’m allowed to help out if Julia is desperate, but I have to seek his permission first. He was clear about that.”
Susan poked her fingers in her ears. “La. La. La.”
“Have you found more dancers?” Christina asked.
Julia sighed. “No, and it’s a worry. I can’t be here all the time, and I can’t keep relying on my friends to fill in the gaps.” She glanced at Susan. “Even if they’re naturals on the stage.”
“There!” Susan said, snapping her fingers at Maggie. “Julia said I’m a natural.” Her eyes glowed with pleasure.
“Nothing less than the truth,” Julia said. “Anyone have any ideas about where to find more dancers?”
“Have you tried some of the dancing schools?” Christina asked. “Now that there’s no stripping involved, some of the dancers might take an interest in earning money doing burlesque.”
Julia clapped a hand to her head. “Why didn’t I think of that? I still take a few classes between my keep-fit sessions. I’ll ask the school owner.” She hurried off, aware of the low hum of nerves in the pit of her stomach. She’d either thrive or sink in obscurity after the formal opening night because she had no intention of borrowing more money from Ryan. It was a point of pride.
A ten-minute chat later, she was back with a bounce in her step. “The owner asked for volunteers and I have ten dancers arriving in an hour.” She clapped her hands together. “Maggie, will you cue the music?”
The day passed way too quickly with the thousand and one details she needed to take care of before they opened to the public.
Now, at eight in the evening, Julia took a deep breath and opened the front door to Maxwell’s.
Stan, her doorman, switched on the new neon sign and walked outside to view the bright violet against black. “That’s real classy, Miss Julia.”
She nodded, pleased with the effect. “It looks stylish.”
“I hope it’s enough to attract the crowds. It would be nice to have a queue like the opposition,” he said.
Julia’s eyes narrowed on the premises of their closest competitor. “I wonder if we should rent a crowd for the official opening night.”
“Elise used to distribute flyers with a coupon for a free drink.”
“That might work,” Julia mused, glancing down at her black trouser suit. Professional? Yes, but she needed in-your-face sexy for this situation. “But for the next few nights I’m going to try the old fashioned carnival way. I’ll be back in a sec.” She strode back into the club, spying Connor and Maggie standing by the stage.
“Connor, just the person I wanted to see. I need your help. Maggie, can I borrow him? He might need to flirt with a few women, but I promise there will be no touching involved.”
Maggie shot her husband a considering glance. A crafty expression darted over her face before a toothy grin bloomed. “Will you let me dance? I enjoy it, and I promise to keep my clothes on.”
“On the condition you do some of the raunchy stuff for me,” Connor said.
Maggie let out a screech of excitement. “Deal.”
“I feel as if I should put my fingers in my ears like Susan does,” Julia said drily. “You can say no if you want.”
“Watching Maggie dance makes me proud,” Connor said. “It’s the other men who make me see red. I don’t like the idea of others fantasizing about touching my wife.” He studied Maggie, and the faint tension in the air dispersed. “But, the truth is she’s good and enjoys the challenge. All of you are great. What do you want me to do?”
Julia chuckled. “Don’t you mean you’re seeing green?”
“I’ve seen you scowl when women look at your husband,” he shot back.
“Yes, well, moving on. I need Christina to deck you out in a sexy costume.” She stood back to consider him, her head cocked to the side. “Vampire, I think. I’ll dress the glamorous lady vamp, and we’ll go out the front and talk up the place to passersby. Flirt and tease a little and tell them about our sexy dancers.”
“Let me do it,” Ryan said from behind her. “Please.”
Julia swiveled to face him and nodded slowly, melting under his intent gaze. “All right.”
“Do you want Caleb to come and provide music?”
“Yes please,” Julia said. “That would be a nice touch.”
“Let’s go,” Ryan said, holding out his hand. Her heart skipped a beat when his fingers wrapped around hers, and together, she and Ryan followed Christina out the back to the dressing room. He still had the knack of turning her breathless whenever he switched on his charm, and she wondered if she should worry, because the charisma translated to females of all ages. Scowling, she forced away the faint apprehension to focus on the present. He hadn’t put a foot wrong, and he deserved her trust.
Christina went straight to the racks of costumes. “Slinky red for you.” She handed the silky dress to Julia. “And a red shirt to go with Ryan’s black trousers.”
Julia stripped off her clothes and wriggled into the form-fitting dress while Ryan traded his shirt with the one Christina gave him. When they were both dressed, Christina stood back and nodded.
“Perfect.” Christina made shooing motions with her hands. “Go. Bring us some customers.”
By the time they exited the dressing room, half a dozen customers had walked into the club. Music blared through the speakers and one of her original dancers appeared on stage. Julia was pleased to see the effort she’d put into training had improved the dancer’s routine and her attitude. When the dancer caught her eye, Julia gave her a thumbs up gesture.
“Julia.” Ryan’s soft voice drew her attention.
“Yes?” The instant she met his gaze her knees threatened to buckle. Although they continued to sleep together, she held part of herself back. Ryan would leave soon to go on tour, and she wasn’t sure she’d hold herself together, if she could allow herself to trust him. Yeah. It was stupid, letting her fears ride her, but she couldn’t seem to put her misgivings behind her. She swallowed, promising herself she’d try harder.
“Don’t be nervous. You’ve put so much work into the club.” He squeezed her shoulder, a gesture of additional support. “You won’t fail.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“No, you come across confident in your decisions. You forget I know you well.”
“We have spent so little time together.”
“Is that what’s bothering you?”
Julia glanced at him, indecision tossing her around in a maelstrom of worries and apprehension. “No matter how you talk around the situation, we still have the same problems.”
“This time you’ll have the support of your friends, and I’ll have Caleb. Not that you have to worry,” he added. “What I mean is we’ll both have a better safety network.”
She drew in a quick breath. “Keep reassuring me so the past doesn’t come back to whack me over the head, okay?”
“Deal.”
“Okay, you have my permission to unleash your charm and flirt with the girls. I’ll do the same with the men. We’ll get Caleb to play and start with a dance or two.”
Caleb was waiting for them when they reached the front door. Outside, the night was starting to creep in, and the neon lights along K’ Road sparkled like an elderly lady in fancy dress. It was too early for the streetwalkers, but in a few more hours, they’d pop out of the woodwork.
“Music to tango to,” Julia said, already knowing Ryan could dance. They’d tangoed in Fiji under the moonlight. It was one of her favorite memories, and the hot sex in their bungalow afterward hadn’t hurt either.
Caleb grinned in their direction, his nimble fingers plucking out the sultry notes of a Latin number. Ryan drew her nearer and led her into the steps. Across the street a group of young women stopped to watch. Ryan, ever the charmer, flashed a smile in their direction and dipped Julia. The women hooted approval and crossed the street when the light halted traffic.
Julia and Ryan kept dancing, flowing into some showy moves. The crowd increased, and by the time Caleb came to the end of the song with a flourish, they stood in a circle three deep.
Julia sucked in air, her breathing rapid despite her fitness. Ryan curved his arm around her shoulders, his scent and heat surrounding her.
“Are you going clubbing tonight?” Ryan directed his question to the young women who’d stopped to watch them first.
“Girls’ night out,” a cute redhead said. Her eyelashes fluttered as she peeked up at him in a flirtatious manner.
“Why don’t you start your night here?” Ryan asked.
One of the redhead’s friends wrinkled her nose. “This place is a dive.”
Julia opened her mouth to refute the point, but Ryan squeezed her in warning.
“The place has received a revamp, and I personally vouch for the new manager. They have a new lineup of dancers and routines. You should try them.”
The redhead made a scoffing sound. “You have to say that. You work there.”
“I’m helping out for a few weeks,” Ryan said. “I’m not on the payroll.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” the redhead asked with another flutter of her stick-on lashes.
“He has a wife,” Julia said sweetly. Damn. She bit down on her lip. Way to attract new customers.
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Caleb said.
“Is it worth trying out this club?” the redhead asked.
“Yes,” Caleb said.
Two couples from the group wandered off, and Julia wanted to run after them and drag them back. They stopped by Maxwell’s closest opposition, took in the length of the line and had a quick discussion before retracing their steps.
“Score one for the new club,” Julia murmured.
Most of the people who’d stopped to watch them dance ended up walking inside, ready to try the new place.
“Fantastic job, guys,” Julia said to Ryan and Caleb.
“Should we sing?” Ryan whispered into her ear.
“A ballad,” she suggested. “Something I can do a simple routine to.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Caleb said, strumming his guitar.
Ryan and Caleb’s voices blended into a thing of beauty. Closing her eyes, Julia attempted to shrug off her earlier jealousy when the redhead had flirted with Ryan. When the emotion lingered, she gave it a harder shove, scooting it to the back of her mind. After another breath, she started to move to the beat of the music, lifting her hands and clicking her fingers while two of the members of French Letters sang of love and candy sweet kisses.
Julia had to force herself to open her eyes and watch for potential customers. As she’d hoped, their singing, dancing and patter attracted attention, and many of those who spied the line outside their opposition decided to give Maxwell’s a try instead of queuing.
By the time she’d hustled and danced outside for an hour, they’d enticed a respectable number of customers inside.
“That should do it for now,” she said, pleased with this way of attracting patrons. “That worked well. I need to consider hiring hosts and hostesses to entice people into the club.”
“You might need to hire additional security,” Ryan said.
“I’d prefer not to, but Stan would need help if we had troublesome customers.”
Ryan brushed his fingers over her cheek and resettled a flyaway lock of air. “I’d feel better if you had muscle on the premises to thwart any idiocy.”
He meant when he left to do the concert in Wellington, and the others their manager had booked for them in Australia. “I’ll contemplate security and discuss it with Mum. She might have some ideas.”
Lucky for her, Ryan took her diversion and ran with it. “Did she enjoy the dress rehearsal for the dancers? You didn’t say.”
Julia nodded, the quick sting of tears coming to her eyes. “She told me she was proud of what I’d achieved.”
“She likes having you around.”
“She makes me guilty for leaving her to run the place alone all these years.”
Ryan brushed his knuckles over her cheeks. “No. If she realized you thought that way she’d be upset. You needed to stretch your wings and do something else. Elise gave you the opportunity to follow your dreams.”
“Huh! Big dreams. I attended secretarial college.”
Ryan grinned. “Caleb and I didn’t stay at university for long. Pissed the parents right off. They’re a bit happier now, although they harp on about saving money for a rainy day.”
When they entered the club Susan was on stage going through one of her routines. Julia nodding approvingly at the way her friend threw herself into the role and became a sultry seductress with one click of her fingers and the cock of a hip. Behind her mask, her eyes smoldered with heat.
“She’s a natural,” Ryan said. “The guys can’t keep their eyes off her.”
“The women either. They want to be her,” Julia said with distinct satisfaction. And it was good for Susan too. She radiated confidence and her propensity for judging people harshly hadn’t appeared for ages. Her friend had bloomed.
“I’d better join Caleb.” He kissed her lightly on the lips and stepped away.
“You’d better wipe off the lipstick. Red isn’t your color.”
“It is if you’re wearing it,” he said, rubbing his hand across his lips. Grinning, he prowled away, attracting the attention of a group of young women. They waved at him, and he paused to speak to them.
She turned away, yet glanced over her shoulder. One woman ran her hand down Ryan’s chest, fluttered her eyelashes at him. Ryan laughed, kissed her hand and walked away with a wave. The women stared after him, their gazes hungry and behavior flirtatious.
Julia blinked, her throat tight. She wove between the chairs and tables, a smile fixed to her face. Even though Ryan had done nothing wrong, it was difficult watching women throw themselves at him.
Once Neil and Jeff arrived back in Auckland, Ryan’s days were full of rehearsals and most of his nights were spent at the club. He and the rest of the band did the odd set during quiet times to try out their new material and polish up some of the old stuff. They also did rock covers hoping to throw customers off the scent. Everyone said French Letters never did covers while on stage, sticking to their own original material instead.
Day by day, night by night Ryan noticed the way Julia distanced herself. If he had a spare moment, Julia practically ran out of the room to undertake a task that required immediate action.
In the early hours of Thursday morning, he and Julia shared a cab back to her apartment.
“We need to talk,” he said when they entered.
“Can it wait until after I shower?” Julia avoided his gaze.
“I need to shower too. We’ll share.”
Julia glanced at him then, alarm smoothing away almost instantly. “I’m tired.”
“I don’t intend to jump you.” This came out sharper than he’d intended, and he grasped for his wavering control. His cell phone rang. “You go ahead while I take this call.” He glanced at the screen and grimaced. “Seymour, do you know what time it is?”
“Morning, where I am,” Seymour said in his crisp American accent. “Caleb said the material for the new album is coming along well.”
“Yes.” Caleb hadn’t told him their manager had contacted him.
“I’ve booked you three additional shows in Australia. Another in Melbourne and two in Sydney.”
“You could have checked with us first.” He didn’t want to leave Julia for months again.
“You’ve never worried about bookings before.” Seymour sounded surprised.
No time like the present to drop the truth into the conversation. “I’m married, Seymour. I have a wife to consider.” He stopped talking, waiting for an explosion.
“Fuck. Are you crazy?” Seymour’s voice rose with each successive word.
“I don’t believe so.” The shower shut off. “I can’t discuss this now. You can shout at me in Wellington. I presume you’re coming down for the concerts.”
“I am now,” Seymour said crisply. “Does anyone else know?”
“Caleb, Jeff and Neil and a few of my wife’s friends.”
“Keep it that way.” The phone slammed down before Ryan could tell Seymour what he thought of his order.
Shaking his head, he went to take his shower. Julia was already in bed when he entered the bedroom. He crawled into bed with a sigh.
“Bad news?”
“Seymour has booked us three more shows in Australia.”
“Oh.” She paused. “I’m sure your fans will be excited.”
“You’re not and that concerns me more. I don’t want to leave you.”
Julia reached over and switched off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. “It doesn’t matter.”
Irritation swept through Ryan, and he fumbled with the lamp on his side of the bed. He blinked at the flare of light. “I’m leaving to meet work commitments. I have every intention of coming back to you.”
He caught a trace of doubt in her expression, and his temper swirled higher.
“I don’t understand why you won’t believe me. I’ve done nothing to harm our marriage. I don’t drink, do drugs. I’ve never been unfaithful to you. I’m not your ex.”
She bit her lip, unwilling to look at him once again.
“If anyone has a reason to be pissed and full of doubts, it’s me. I can’t remember, but I’m sure I would’ve bought you an engagement ring. You don’t wear it.” His pointed gaze focused on her left hand. “And a wedding band?”
“I haven’t noticed you wearing your wedding band,” she retorted.
Ryan frowned. “I have one?”
“You said you intended to wear it on a chain around your neck. I can’t see one either there or on your finger.”
“I had a ring?”
“A gold band I had engraved before you left on tour.”
“I didn’t find a ring with my stuff after I was discharged from hospital.”
Her brows rose, the touch of challenge increasing his indignation.
“Check with Caleb. He collected my gear for me. He’ll tell you there was no ring.”
Like a popped balloon, some of the attitude burst from her. “Do you think the muggers stole it?”
“Doesn’t that make sense? They took my phone and wallet and left me for dead. They must’ve taken my ring. My watch too,” he added. “Caleb said I used to wear one my parents gave me.”
Julia closed her eyes. “My ring is in my jewelry box over there on the dressing table. I wore it on a chain around my neck until I—” She broke off with an audible swallow.
“Until you what?”
“Never mind.” Moisture welled in her eyes, and she blinked rapidly to clear it. The stubborn jut of her chin told him she didn’t intend to enlighten him further, yet swift on the heels of determination came a flicker surprisingly similar to guilt.
Ryan climbed out of bed and strode over to the jewelry box. He lifted the lid off and scanned the contents. The pair of rings on a gold chain was underneath a pendant necklace. He plucked them out and returned to the bed. “I want you to wear them, and tomorrow we’ll go to a jeweler’s and buy a new wedding band for me.”
Her eyes widened as if he’d surprised her. “You’d do that?”
“Of course. I want people to realize I’m married. I want no one else except you.” He took her left hand and slid on her wedding band. She didn’t protest. She said nothing, merely stared at her hand. He slipped the sapphire and diamond engagement ring on her finger before reaching to tilt her face to his. “I love you, Julia, and I want everyone to know it.”