All the Ugly and Wonderful Things
“That may be. Only thing is, why’d you buy her a ring if you ain’t planning on marrying her? You go talking that way you’re gonna break her heart.”
Now I didn’t set out to make him feel guilty, but women are sensitive about those things. Especially thirteen-year-old women. Lord, my oldest girl, by the time she was ten you couldn’t hardly tease her about nothing before she’d rear up and say, “Stop treating me like a child!”
“I love her,” he said in this low voice. “I wanna take care of her.”
“I can see how she trusts you. And that ain’t a small thing to a girl like her.”
Truth was she took care of him as much as he did her. There was a few times when he was younger that I thought to myself, One of these days, he ain’t gonna show up for work, ’cause he’ll be at home with a gun in his mouth. I had an uncle did that. Jesse Joe was a man with a deep streak of lonely, until Wavy came along.
“Nobody else looks out for her,” he said. “Her folks are…”
Her folks were trouble. Never saw nothing to fix it in my mind as certain, but I had me a suspicion Liam Quinn was into some bad dealings.
“That’s how it was for Paola. Her folks couldn’t hardly feed themselves, and with the Army set to send me home, I couldn’t leave her in Italy to starve. Them was dark days after the Armistice. That’s why you need to watch yourself. If there’s nobody else looking after that girl, she’s gotta be able to count on you.”
Look at the old man giving advice he ain’t been asked for.
“She can count on me,” Jesse Joe said.
“Then you can’t be making her promises you don’t intend to keep. If you don’t plan to get married, why’d you tell her you was?”
“Because I love her and I want her to know I mean that. And I know, me saying I love her, that’s one thing, and the ring is a whole other deal, but that’s what she wanted. It’s a big deal to her. To me, too. That’s why I bought her a nice ring. Not some cheap piece of shit.”
“How much did you spend, if you don’t mind my asking?”
I thought I’d overstepped, but it was hard to tell with him. Kinda man who come to work the day of his mama’s funeral and never said a word. He stood up, made me think I had gone too far, because he was a big man. He didn’t shift that bulk around unless he had to. Like watching a grizzly bear heave up on his hind legs, a smart man’d think about making himself scarce. Alls Jesse Joe did was pull out his wallet, toss a receipt on the desk, and set back down. I leaned over and took a look. More’n two thousand dollars.
“Well, I don’t believe I did it justice when I said it was a purty ring.”
“Same as I paid for my Panhead.”
“It’s a good bike.”
He laughed, figuring me for a superstitious old man, but it was good luck, him having a bike the same age as him.
“Didn’t seem too much to pay for the ring, as happy as it made her,” he said.
“It’d make you happy, too, if you’d let it. Ain’t nothing wrong with thinking you’re gonna marry her someday. I knew I was gonna marry Paola first time I met her, and she was only thirteen. I didn’t touch her ’til we was married, but I knew.” Truth was we did fool around some, but not much, ’cause Paola was a good Catholic.
“I just want Wavy to know I’m gonna be there for her. I don’t think she’ll grow up and wanna marry me. Why would she?”
“She could do a whole lot worse than you.”
“Far as I can tell, I’m not even the kinda guy girls go home with at last call, never mind the guy they marry.”
“Them’s two different things entirely, son. Speaking of last call, you got any more of that bourbon in the drawer?”
Hallelujah, he did. Not that I’m big on drinking in the middle of the day, but I could do with a drop if we was gonna keep jawing about serious things. Jesse Joe give me the bottle and I tipped out a little into my coke. He didn’t take none, though. His mama and daddy both was hard drinkers. They say it’s the Indian blood, got a weakness for liquor. Drink and misery killed his mama dead.
“Anyway, that’s all,” he said. “I didn’t buy her that ring planning on hanging around like a dog. When she grows up and meets a nice guy, as long as he’s good to her, I’ll be happy.”
“And what if she grows up and wants to marry you?”
Jesse Joe laughed and damned if he didn’t take out the bourbon again and add some to both our cokes.
“That ain’t no way to run a business, pouring me drinks while I’m on the clock. I ain’t so much as picked up a wrench to put the Lewiston’s mower back together.”
“It’s almost time to knock off, old man. Drink up.”
I could see what he meant to do, so I said, “Well? What if?”
He drained that bourbon and coke in three big swallows, and shook his head.
“Hell, if she grows up and for some crazy reason she still wants to marry me, fine. That ring is a sincere promise. If she wanted to get married, we’d go to the courthouse and do it. You know I’m not much for going to church, but if she wanted a church wedding, we’d have a church wedding, white dress, the whole deal.”
“And some new boots to go with it.” I said it to make him laugh, ’cause I could see it upset him. Either thinking about her wanting to marry him, or more likely thinking about her growing up and not wanting to marry him. Boy had got himself in a hell of a spot. Maybe she would outgrow the notion and he’d still be in love with her. I just hoped I’d be with my Paola before he put that gun in his mouth.