All the Ugly and Wonderful Things

I reached up and clamped my hand over his mouth hard enough that I felt his teeth through his lips. It wasn’t nice, and I didn’t care. I wanted to shove those words back down his throat. He pulled my hand away, and his soft eyes said everything was broken. I’d broken him.

“You didn’t rape me,” I said.

“Okay. Okay, but listen to me. I already ruined my life. I don’t want to ruin yours.”

“It’s not ruined.”

I wanted that to be true, but I couldn’t imagine what six years in prison would be like. Four years I’d been Aunt Brenda’s prisoner, but even when I promised not to sneak out, I went on doing it. That’s why it’s called sneaking. Kellen had spent six years in a cell. Six years among people who hurt him. Six years without the stars. Looking into his eyes, I knew he would stay with me. He was waiting for me to give him the look that meant stay. He wanted me to say, “Stay.”

It had been so long since I had the ring resized that I had to spit on my finger to get it off. When it came loose, I put it in his hand.

“No more prison. You’re free,” I said.

12

RENEE

When Wavy opened the passenger door, I thought she was coming to tell me what she and Kellen were doing. Instead, she got in the car and slammed the door.

“What’s up?” I said. She didn’t say a word, just sat there in the dark. “Are we leaving?”

“Yes.” Her voice was raw from crying. Had he dumped her twice in one day?

I started the car and put it in reverse, but Kellen’s truck was still behind me. Jackass. I waited for him to move, but he wasn’t even in the cab. I couldn’t see him at all.

“Will you tell him to move his truck?” I said.

“I can’t.” First time I ever heard Wavy admit she couldn’t do something.

“Fine. I will.”

I put the car in park and got out. Whatever I thought I was going to find when I walked around the truck, it wasn’t Kellen down on his knees. I couldn’t tell if he was crying or heaving. Had she gotten her revenge? Dumped him back? I know if I’d been in Wavy’s shoes, I would have been salting the earth of that relationship.

“Um, could you move so I can back out?”

He made this choking noise, but he braced a hand against the side of his truck and got to his feet. I could only guess what she’d said to him, because he looked destroyed. It took him a while, but he wiped his face on his shirt sleeve and sort of pulled himself together.

“You her roommate?” he said.

“Yes.”

I swear, for a second, I thought he wanted to shake my hand, but he was trying to give me something. When I didn’t reach for it, he opened his hand. It was her engagement ring. Oh, yes, she’d dumped him.

“Will you give her this?” he said.

“No offense, but no. You give it to her if you want her to have it.” No way was I getting in the middle of that.

He nodded and walked around to the passenger side of my car. Wavy wasn’t having any of it. He tried to open her door, but it was locked.

“Goddamnit, Wavy. Please, will you listen to me?” He went on talking in this low, pleading voice, but the only word I could make out was her name.

I couldn’t hear whether she answered him, but if she did, it wasn’t nice. He came stomping back to the truck and jerked open the driver side door. For about two seconds, I was relieved, thinking he was going to leave. Then he slammed the door closed and kicked it.

The violence of it shocked a squeak out of me.

He took two steps toward me and I took two steps back. I was about to panic when the Frisbee guys came running toward us.

“Hey, is everything okay?” the tallest one said.

“Please, will you just take it?” Kellen said.

“I don’t think she wants whatever it is you want to give her.”

“Why don’t you just walk away, pal?” another Frisbee guy said.

“Why don’t you fuck off?” Kellen said.

The Frisbee guys had a conference, and one of them took off running toward the library.

When Kellen took a step toward me, the tall guy said, “Dude, my buddy is going to get campus security.”

“I’m just trying to give her this.” Kellen held the ring up so the Frisbee guys could see it.

“I don’t care, dude. You need to go.”

There was shouting up on the library steps and then several people started across the lawn toward us.

“Fucking fuck.” Kellen turned around and kicked his door again, twice, hard enough to leave a dent the size of his enormous boot.

“Okay, look,” I said.

At that point, I was willing to take the ring, just to make Kellen go away, because he was scaring the shit out of me. Before I could, Wavy got out of my car and came around the truck to Kellen’s side.

“He’s leaving,” Wavy said to the Frisbee guys.

“I’m not leaving,” Kellen said.

“You can’t get arrested.” She held out her hand, and he put the ring in it, folding her fingers over it. He held her hand like that until she pulled it back.

Kellen and I both seemed to think there would be something more, but Wavy walked away and got back in my car. The Frisbee guy came running up and a few steps behind him was a campus cop.

“Sir, why don’t you get in your car, and let this lady back out?” the cop said.

Finally, Kellen did.