Chapter Twenty-One
In Between
Henry met me Thursday afternoon at a cafe on West 3rd. I hadn’t told him yet I was quitting, but I think he knew. He hugged me extra hard before he sat down across from me.
“So what’s up, love?” he asked, once we’d ordered some coffee and sandwiches. “How’s your life?”
“It’s good.”
“How are things with Mr. Cumming? It’s been two months. Is he mellowing at all?”
“Mellowing?”
He poured sugar in his coffee and looked up at me. “Mellowing. I remember you described him in less than glowing terms after your first date.”
I thought a moment. “He’s mellowed a little, maybe. But he still hasn’t told me his real name.”
“He just set up a date for next week, at the Gramercy Park Hotel.”
I stared down at my coffee. Henry wasn’t going to make this easy for me.
“Listen, I asked you to lunch today to let you know that…well… Mr. Cumming is going to be my last client.”
In the awkward silence, the waitress sailed by and dumped our plates on the table. “Need anything else right now?” she chirped, eyeing Henry.
“No,” he said. “We’re good.”
I pulled the toothpick out of my sandwich and laid it at the edge of my plate. “Are we good, Henry?” I asked. “Are you angry?”
“Not angry. Disappointed. You’re leaving the business?”
“Yes. I’m getting older—”
“Older? You’re not even thirty. You’re in the prime of your escort life. Young enough to be gorgeous, and seasoned enough to know the sexiest techniques.”
“Did you just call me ‘seasoned’?”
He waved a pickle spear at me. “Don’t try to joke your way out of this. You’re not too old. What’s the real reason? Is Mr. Cumming getting to you?”
Yes. But not in the way you think.
“If he’s too much, I told you, Nina can take him. If it’s the exclusive thing—”
“It’s not the exclusive thing. I’ve been ready to leave for a while. I finally broke up with Simon—”
“Good.”
“And I feel like I’m on a roll. I just need to keep making changes in my life. I need to keep moving forward while I have this momentum. I planned to start back to school this fall. So I can work a few more months. July and August. After that, I want to be a student. Only a student.”
“A student?” he said, wrinkling his nose. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to escort anymore.”
“Have you told Mr. Cumming this? That you’re leaving the business?”
“No,” I lied.
Henry was looking at me too sharply. He took a bite of his sandwich, watching me as he chewed. “Do the two of you have something going on?”
I laughed, and it sounded so fake. “I don’t think so. Like I said, he still hasn’t told me his name.”
“I knew the exclusive thing was a mistake. Is this his idea, for you to leave the business? He wants to set you up in some apartment to play house for a while? You know how these things end.”
“He hasn’t said anything about playing house.” Although he may have set me up in an apartment…
“These situations last a couple months, and then the girls are back begging for another chance. I’ve been doing this a while, Chere. Once men can have you for free, they don’t want you anymore. The chase is over. The thrill is gone.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I said, holding up a hand. “I’m not leaving the business to be with W.”
“Who’s W?”
“That’s what I call him,” I said. “Because I don’t know his name. And I’ve been doing this a while too, so give me some fucking credit. I’m not leaving the business to move in with my client or anyone else.”
I started out trying to convince Henry, but halfway through my tirade I realized it was true. I wasn’t leaving for W, although I really hoped to keep seeing him. I was leaving because I wanted a different life.
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’m tired of making a living with sex?” I asked. “Before I escorted, I was a stripper. I’ve only ever done sex jobs. I’m tired of being valued for what’s between my legs.”
Henry rolled his eyes. “You make a lot of money with what’s between your legs. You have a good life.”
“How do you know?”
We glared at each other. I loved Henry. I didn’t want to end things on an acrimonious note, but he was being more of an asshole than I’d expected.
“You have a good life too,” I reminded him. “Because of me and the rest of your escorts. What if you had to make that money with your own body?”
“I did make money with my body,” he said, leaning forward. “I understand. I know it gets old, but you’re at the height of your career. You make people happy, even if you’re feeling some weird, unfounded guilt about making money from your sexuality.”
“It’s not that. It’s not guilt. I’m just over escorting. This isn’t what I’m meant to do with my life. I know that, Henry. I’ve felt it for a long time. I always knew there was going to be an ending to it, and that’s happening now.”
“What else are you going to do?”
“I told you, I’m going to go to school.”
“To do what?”
“I’m not sure yet. Design, maybe. Some creative type of career that entails being more than someone’s pretty holes.”
I was quoting W, yes. Henry wasn’t stupid. He suspected W was part of this, but he couldn’t stop me if I wanted to get out. He ate a few more bites of his sandwich, and I ate some of mine too.
“I’m not leaving you high and dry, am I?” I said as the silence lengthened. “You have other girls.”
“I have plenty of girls, but I hate to lose a good one.” He put his sandwich down and brushed his fingers together. “I know I’ve been losing you for a while, and I understand why, but I don’t have to like it.” He held out his hand, and I took it. “I’m sorry I freaked on you, love. You have every right to do what you want with your life. So, a couple of months, you think?”
I nodded. “I’d like to work right up until I start school. Build up a little extra money.”
“Want me to raise the price on E.E. Moneybucks? I’m pretty sure he’d pay it.”
“No.” I didn’t want him to charge W at all, but I worried he was only interested in sex he paid for. Maybe I could change his mind over the next few weeks, change him the way he’d changed me. Maybe we could find our way to some mutually satisfying place.
You’re a dreamer, Chere. An idiotic dreamer. The last thing I needed was another relationship. I’d settle for a friendship. I ran fingers up the underside of my forearm, tracing the memory of his words.
Henry sighed and picked up his coffee. “I think you have a crush on Mr. Cumming. You get jittery whenever his name comes up.”
I glanced at him, wondering how much I should reveal. Nothing. Definitely nothing. He’d pitch into more lectures, and I didn’t want that. “There’s a reason I get jittery,” I finally said. “He gives magical orgasms. And by magical I mean what-the-fuck, ruined-forever magical.”
He looked pleased. “I’m glad when I hear my girls are enjoying themselves. So you’re definitely on for next week?”
“I’m definitely on for next week.”
Henry was so trusting, and I’d kept so many secrets, about the oral without condoms, the apartment, and W’s involvement in getting me away from Simon. I hadn’t mentioned anything about seeing W once I left Henry’s employment. I decided to leave that conversation for another day.
“You’ve been a great boss,” I said. “A great agent. I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”
“The feeling is mutual. If you ever need anything down the line… If you want to come back…” His voice trailed off. “No, don’t come back. Go to school and study for a career that makes you happy. Don’t you dare come back.”
“I’ll try not to.” I let out a long, relieved breath. “Thanks, Henry.”
“You’re sure you want to keep seeing Mr. Cumming? I can tell him you’re done, if you feel done.”
“No, I’ll see him.”
He gave me a teasing look. “The magical orgasms. I remember.” He signaled the waitress for the check, then turned back to me. “You know, I have men at the agency too, in case you get lonely and horny during one of those late night study sessions. My guys are very good at what they do.” He emphasized the word very, drawing it out into a suggestive growl.
“I’m going to be on a student budget,” I reminded him. “I won’t be able to afford your guys, for a while anyway. Whatever job I get out of college won’t pay as much as I made with you.”
“So why are you leaving again?” He held up a hand before I could answer. “I know, I know. It’s clear you’ve thought this through.”
We pushed back our chairs, stood up and hugged. He always smelled amazing, rich and classy like his escort business. He held me tight for long moments and patted my hair.
“You’re going to make me cry,” I murmured into his chest.
“I’m the one who should be crying,” he said. “I’m losing the legendary Miss Kitty. Too bad I’m not one of those evil pimps. I could just rough you up until I convinced you to reconsider your decision.”
I gave him an accusing look. “I think deep in your heart you secretly wish you were an evil pimp, instead of a big-hearted pushover.”
“I’m not a big-hearted pushover,” he said, giving me a little shake. “I’m badass.”
I buried my face in his chest again. “You’re super badass.”
I heard his sigh, and felt it in the rise of his ribcage. “I’ll miss you when you go, Kitty darling,” he said, “but I wish you the best.”