Oh my God, what have I done? The thought goes through my mind as I lie in Lincoln’s arms completely sated from what just happened. I’ve been avoiding him for two months, unable to face him after Jefferson’s surgery. But then there he was at my door, looking more handsome than I remembered. He was such a gentleman the night of our date, so much so that if I had let go, I would have let him take me on the boat under the moonlight. But I had to keep my head on straight. It was one night, and I was the surgeon operating on his nephew, so as much as I wanted him, I had to keep it platonic.

Then there was the day of the surgery, and I let myself zone out just briefly but long enough that I’m sure it was my fault Jefferson flatlined. It was the first time I’d let myself be distracted, and it would be the last time. Having Lincoln around befuddles my mind, and that I can’t risk, so I ignored every text or call he made to me. When Jefferson’s incision became infected, I was sure it was once again my fault. God was punishing me for having thoughts of Lincoln when I should have been focused. But when I opened the door tonight and saw him standing there, my desire took over, and I knew I wanted him even if it was just this one time. I wanted a taste of what it would be like to have him, a memory I could keep with me when I left Virginia and headed back to New York.

I’ll never forget the way his body looked naked before me. Hard, chiseled abs, the delicious V everyone talks about, and a magnificent erection that had me shaking. Long and thick, it was nothing like I’d ever seen before on anyone. Oh, how I’m going to miss him. I’ve experienced pure bliss for once in my life.

“Lillian, Lillian. Earth to Lillian.”

Oh, crap, I’ve been so lost in my own thoughts I didn’t realize Linc was talking to me. I blink a couple of times before acknowledging him.

“Where did you go to, love?”

“Did you just call me love?” I roll my eyes at the term of endearment.

“No, I called you by your name. Lillian Olivia Vicci. I just shortened it.” Linc laughs, the vibration from his chest sending tingles down south.

“Oh, no, mister, you do not get to call me that, not after you complained about Bethany calling you Love your whole life.” Once again, his full body laugh fills my bedroom.

“Lillian,”—his hand brushes through my hair, causing me to instinctively lean into his palm—“I’m only here for the day. I have to head back to New York tomorrow for some meetings. I came in today because I had to see Peanut and make sure he is alright. But I want to make it perfectly clear that I intend to spend time with you when I get back next week. It’s going to be hard to reach me this week, so please don’t mistake this as a one-night stand. I want to see you again. Do you understand me?”

I cringe at the word ‘alright’ when he says it and am thankful that he doesn’t seem to be aware of it. But wanting to see me again isn’t going to be possible. This was supposed to be one night. I can’t let myself believe it will or can be anything more. Rather than explaining to him why it isn’t possible, I do the chickenshit thing and agree to see him again, knowing it will never happen. “Sure, I understand, Linc. I know how it can be when your job is demanding.” I tap my finger to my chest. “Remember, busy doctor here myself.” Though my lies feel like a burden, I don’t let that dampen what will happen tonight.

Before he can say anything further, I become the aggressor, sliding myself on top of him, rubbing my center on his already hardening dick. It feels good. Too good.

“Lillian,” Linc moans. “We didn’t use a condom the first time. We need one now.”

Once again, I rub myself up his shaft and lean over to whisper in his ear, “It’s okay. I can’t get pregnant. I have premature ovarian failure. I was diagnosed in my twenties with it. I can’t conceive.” I feel his hands grip the side of my head as he pulls my face back to look into my eyes. I’m not sure if he’s trying to read me to see if I’m lying to him or what. “Really, Linc, let’s just say the odds of you getting me pregnant are the same as you ever stepping foot on the moon. Slim to none. That’s part of the reason I chose pediatric cardiology. It’s the closest I’ll probably ever get to having a child of my own to take care of.”

I see the pity in his eyes as he looks at me. It’s the same look Angelo gave me when we found out while I was in college. Angelo and I grew up together. He was ten years older than me, so when it came time to assign someone to me, Dad said it was the perfect match. Little did he know that there was more to Angelo and me than him being my bodyguard. Once we found out, I begged him to keep it a secret, and he did right up to the day he walked away, and I told Dad I didn’t need a watchdog anymore. I refused to let anyone get that close to me again.

“Don’t look at me that way. I’ve made peace with it. I just want to feel you inside me with nothing between us.”

Before I can say another word, I am being flipped onto my back, and Linc is sliding inside of me. I rock into his thrusts, ensuring my clit receives the stimulation it needs. My first orgasm comes quickly, followed by another, but it isn’t until the last one where we come together that my world as I knew it shatters around me. Linc holds me tight, exhaustion taking over quickly as I fall asleep in his arms, enjoying the comfort I’d never know again.

When I wake in the morning and sit up, the bed beside me is cold but not empty. A note remains where Linc once lay.

Lillian,

You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to wake you. I stayed for as long as I could. If I am honest, I didn’t want to leave. I should have canceled my meeting this morning, but I couldn’t. Just know I’ll be thinking of you all day and the delicious little sounds you made when I took you to the edge, and you let go. I’ll call you tonight.

Linc

I hold the note to my chest, falling back against the mattress, and let the tears fall. Under any other circumstances, maybe in a different lifetime, I could let Lincoln Eastwick in, but my life is anything but a fairy tale, and letting him be a part of it would destroy everything about him. He’s the type of man my father would do anything to get his teeth into. Linc’s connections alone would have Dad salivating at the mouth. The fact that I have to relocate back to New York to take care of my father means I can’t let Linc anywhere near my heart.

I knew Linc was busy and in New York the last few months; Bethany said so during the several checkups she brought Jefferson in for. I was surprised that Linc wasn’t with them each time. He was so close to the two of them I had expected him to be there. In hindsight, it was probably good that he wasn’t.

It was a Monday night a month ago when I got the dreadful call that my dad had a heart attack and was hospitalized, telling me I had to come quickly. I knew my life was going to change. Just how much had yet to be seen.

I took the first flight back to New York and headed straight to the hospital. For a man who had just had a heart attack, Dad was definitely well enough to yell at his doctor's incompetence. I heard his voice the minute I exited the elevator. “You’re stupid. My daughter is ten times the doctor you are.” Part of me was proud to hear that Dad respected me so much, but the other part of me that suspected what was coming cringed inside.

The moment I pushed the door to Dad’s room open, everything changed. “Bambina, sei qui,” he called out.

“Yes, Dad, I’m here.” I bent down and kissed his forehead. “How are you feeling?” Dad had a habit of mixing his English and Italian when he was upset, but when he was fighting mad, you knew it because all he spoke was Italian.

“I’m not so well, Tesoro. You need to come home and take care of me. Non discutere.” His voice rose as he told me not to argue.

What once worked on me as a child no longer had an effect. He could raise his voice all he wanted, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to argue. “Dad, that’s not possible. I have a practice and patients who need me. I can’t just leave. The doctors here are perfectly capable of taking care of you.”

“Tu ai un mese cosi non ignorare le obligazione famigliare!” my father yelled at me.

How dare he boss me around, I’m a grown adult now, and to tell me I have a month to get my affairs in order and return home to fulfill my family obligation was crazy. My blood boiled as I yelled back at him that I would not come home. “Non lo faro!” That only caused his blood pressure and heart rate to rise. Unfortunately, the screen display on his monitor confirmed it, causing my mother, who had been sitting quietly in the chair beside the bed, to speak up.

“Lillian, look what you are doing to your father. Is it not enough that he has suffered a heart attack that you have to come in here and argue with him?” She patted my dad’s hand briefly. “We have let you live your life without interruption. We did not say a word when you came to New York last month for the day with some man and did not tell us. But this will not be negotiable, Lillian. You will be here for your father; you will perform whatever surgery is necessary, go home, make arrangements for your practice, and return in thirty days. You will stay and care for your father to make sure he is one hundred percent healthy. Then, and only then, will you be able to return to your life.”

“Wait, how did you know I was here in New York with someone?” It was the only part of her declaration that caught my attention.

“Did you honestly think your father and I would let you live so far away without protection? That we would allow you to go off to college and toss away your security without even an argument from us? Oh, silly girl, I thought you were smarter than that.”

My mom rarely said a word. She knew her place, but when she did speak up, oh, did she have a lot to say. She is the strongest woman I know. When I was growing up, she taught me to be equally independent. I should have known all those years ago that they gave in too easily. That explains why I sometimes have these feelings that someone is watching me, because they are.

“Who, Mom, who has been watching me all this time? Tell me,” I demanded an explanation, but it only took one word to knock the air out of my lungs and for me to fall back into the chair behind me.

“Angelo. He has always been your protector.”

My heart raced as I heard the name of the one man who broke my heart and destroyed my life all those years ago. I had questions, but now wasn’t the time for them; that would come later.

“Who will determine when father is well enough for me to return, me or the family?” It seemed like a simple question that would have a simple answer, but nothing is ever simple in my family, and deep down I knew it wouldn’t be when I determined. It would always be the family’s decision.

“Stop asking questions you already know the answer to, Lillian. Salvatore will assume the responsibilities as the Boss of the family, and should your father’s health deteriorate, then you will marry Salvatore to ensure our blood holds this family together.” I wanted to argue, but my mother’s face told me there would be no further discussions.