Chapter Thirty-One

Kit felt lighter when she left Nash’s office. He would make the arrangements to accept voluntary donations on behalf of Haven Manor and bring Margaretta with him the next time he came to the house so they could discuss what to tell The Committee.

What to tell Graham’s mother.

Dread dropped like a rock into the peace that had flooded her as she pushed the chessboards toward Nash.

Suddenly all she felt was exhausted. So much so that the idea of going to sleep right there on the pavement wasn’t necessarily out of the question. The last thing she wanted to do was make the trek back to the manor. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stay with Mrs. Lancaster tonight and walk home in the morning.

It would be easy enough for Daphne and Jess to handle her evening tasks. She didn’t do much with the children in the evenings anyway, because the more she’d mired herself in the darkness of blackmail and the worry of logistics, the less she’d involved herself in the part of their mission that truly mattered. She’d left nearly all of it to Daphne.

Despite the tiredness and the worry lurking on the edges of her mind she felt . . . happy. Strange, because it seemed like so much had been going wrong in her life lately, but maybe this was God’s consolation prize for her doing the right thing.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she saw a man.

He was standing on the other side of High Street, which should have made him completely unremarkable. Marlborough’s main street was a busy place. There were at least a dozen other men she could see from her current position.

But only one of them wasn’t moving.

He simply stood.

And stared.

At her.

At Nash’s office.

Kit glanced over her shoulder to see what was visible through Nash’s large window. With the sun angling its way down the sky, there wasn’t a hint of glare on the large glass window. The stack of chessboards sitting on Nash’s desk was easily identified.

She should walk away, act like there was absolutely nothing anyone would find interesting going on behind her. But she couldn’t move. She wanted, needed to know who the man across the street was. Was he the one who had been stirring up trouble in London? She’d been foolish to bring the boards here.

It was possible she was worrying over nothing. Perhaps the man was waiting on someone or simply lost in his own thoughts. After all, hundreds of people passed through Marlborough every day without any knowledge of Haven Manor and the children they were raising.

But then he shifted. Just enough for Kit to see his face beneath the brim of his hat.

It was a face she knew.

It was a man she’d threatened.

And he was looking straight at her. With no disguise. No carefully utilized shadows. No protection.

Lord Eversly knew she was The Governess.

She wanted to run. She wanted to hike up her skirts and race toward Mrs. Lancaster’s as if rabid dogs were nipping at her heels.

But she couldn’t do that, couldn’t risk the slim chance that he wasn’t suspicious of her. So she walked. Slowly and sedately.

“Well, this is a nice surprise.” Mrs. Lancaster bustled around her counter and gave Kit a hug. “I have to say it’s nice to have Benedict stop in more often.”

Kit forced a smile. “You’re not still slipping him free candies every time he comes in, are you?”

“And what if I am?” The old woman sniffed and then grinned. “No such thing as too much spoiling when it comes to that boy.”

There wasn’t a very good argument for that, so Kit let it pass. “Could I stay in your room upstairs tonight? I don’t quite feel up to the walk back home.”

“Of course. You know you’re welcome to anything that can be of use to you and your brood.” Mrs. Lancaster shooed Kit toward the back of the store, where another door led out to a set of stairs that went up to a few small rooms. “You go settle in. I’ll have some dinner sent up in a while.”

Kit smiled gratefully. She climbed the stairs, flopped on the bed, and fell asleep with her boots on.

Kit woke early. She’d managed to stir herself enough last night to eat dinner and remove her clothes, but then she’d gone right back to sleep. It was morning now, though, and she felt more energetic than she had in a very long time.

She glanced out the window as she coiled her hair into a bun. Would Lord Eversly be asleep or would he be watching for her to leave town? Did he plan to follow her? Even if she lost him in the woods, that would be too close. Graham had been able to find them based on the ramblings of a small child.

Kit rested her forehead against the cool glass. What was she going to do? She’d lost Graham, her source of income, her sense of right and wrong, everything.

Although, it probably wasn’t fair to say she’d lost Graham when she’d never truly had him to begin with. It was probably more accurate to say that she’d lost the idea of Graham.

And her source of income wasn’t ever something she should have had in the first place, at least not the way she’d done it.

Her sense of right and wrong had apparently left her years ago, so the loss of that wasn’t really new—just the revelation of it was.

Which was worse? To think she’d lost everything or to learn there wasn’t much she’d really had to begin with?

No. She couldn’t let herself think that way. She needed to think in terms of what she did have. She needed to be like Daphne and think positively.

Apparently that was something else she’d lost over the years. While her view of life had never been as rosy as her friend’s, she’d certainly become more pessimistic.

She took a deep breath and blew it out through pursed lips. This was an absolutely pathetic attempt at counting her blessings.

“One,” she said, holding up a finger. “We still have the house.”

That was probably most important. It was coming on summer, even if the air didn’t feel like it yet, so they didn’t have to worry about the cold for several months. Nash already had a man lined up to come fix the roof.

Another rush of air expanded her chest. The breath came a bit easier this time.

“Two.” She held up a second finger. “We have the goods we sell at market.”

Paper filigree boxes and wheels of goat cheese wouldn’t bring in enough to pay for apprenticeships, but they would allow them all to survive. And if she gave up the idea of apprenticeships and the like, they could tap into money stored away over the years, if needed.

She didn’t like the idea, but it was good to know it was an option.

“Three”—she pushed up another finger—“we have the garden. Four, the library has enough books to teach the children practically anything.” Another finger. One more and she’d have an entire hand to raise in thankful praise.

She walked away from the window and sat down to tie up her boots, all the while trying to come up with a fifth item for her list.

All she kept running into, though, was wondering what Lord Eversly wanted with Nash. There had to be something Kit could do. She could set up some sort of decoy location, maybe, and draw him out there, away from town, and once he was there she could . . .

But that was exactly what Graham had been talking about. Nowhere in her plans had she allowed room for God to do anything. It was all about what she could do, all about controlling the situation herself.

Daphne may have been the one telling the children the Bible stories, but Kit had listened to them. And she’d heard enough to know that God didn’t work under her control. He wasn’t confined by the solutions she could conceive.

So maybe all she needed to do this morning was pray, take practical and sensible precautions, and then trust God to keep them safe.

The idea of praying on her own, without Daphne or the children, almost made her panic. She’d been doing life on her own so long that letting go enough to speak out loud to an empty room and trust that the God of the world thought her important enough to listen to was more than a little daunting.

“Oh, Father, er, Lord, God.” She stumbled over the words as she fell backward to flop on the narrow bed in the small bedchamber. “I’d like to get home today. Preferably without any scary men following me. That is, if you agree with that. I suppose you might want the scary man to find me, in which case I have to ever so humbly ask for you to change your mind.”

As awkward and difficult as it was, once the words started coming they didn’t seem to stop. Kit had no idea how long she prayed, but when she said Amen the sun was blazing through the window and she felt like curling into a ball and going back to sleep.

That wasn’t going to get her home, though. God was all-powerful, and she was working on trusting Him, but she was pretty sure He wasn’t going to magically fly her home on the wings of a sparrow.

It took Kit half the day to get home because stopping at every crossroads and watching the path behind to make sure no one was following took a great deal of time. The fact that she hadn’t even seen another person since crossing the bridge made it feel ridiculous, but Kit hadn’t felt like she could take the chance. They needed to be prepared.

When she arrived home, the children were everywhere, so Kit couldn’t find a single moment alone with Daphne and Jess to tell them what had happened. Her news had to wait until they were on the porch that evening.

And Daphne didn’t seem to be taking it well.

“Are you sure it was Lord Eversly?” she asked quietly.

Kit leaned against the balustrade. “Yes, it was him. Without a doubt. When I confronted him eight years ago, he’d held just as still as he was yesterday. He stared at me in silence for what felt like hours before simply signing the papers and telling me the bank drafts would be arranged. Then he left the room and the butler showed me out. Believe me, I’d never forget him.” Kit shivered. Over the years she’d had men yell and threaten and cajole, but nothing had scared her as much as Lord Eversly’s complete stillness and silence.

“I’ll go into town tomorrow,” Jess said, tapping one finger against the rail in front of her. “I’ll find out what he knows and why he’s here.”

“How will you do that?” Daphne asked.

Jess simply cocked her head.

“Right.” Daphne’s mouth twisted as if she were trying to swallow her reaction. “You do that sort of thing.”

Kit laughed. She couldn’t help it. What a combination the three of them were. It didn’t make sense that they should be on this porch together, yet here they were. Brought together by life and circumstances, three dissimilar individuals who’d practically become sisters.

“I’ve missed that,” Daphne said with a soft smile.

“What?” Kit asked.

“Your laugh. It hasn’t come out much lately.”

Kit sobered, realizing just how much her taking the world upon her shoulders had weighed her down. She really ought to be in the library tonight, bent over the ledger books to see where they could economize now that they had no idea how much money would be available to them, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t worried.

She’d done more praying as she walked today, and with every step it had gotten a little easier, the words had come a little faster. She told God what He already knew but what she hadn’t admitted in a really long time. It had felt good to talk to Him.

Kit looked at her friends, her sisters, and extended a hand out to each of them. They smiled and clasped hands until they formed a circle, a sisterhood, a bond only God could bring together.

“You’re both ridiculous,” Jess muttered, but she didn’t let go of their hands.

The happy calm was broken by the sound of horse hooves pounding down the drive.

It was late and they were in the middle of nowhere.

Had Lord Eversly found them? Had he decided to attack? What would they do? They didn’t have anything to give him. All of the papers were in Nash’s office.

Jess broke away first, darting back into the house. Kit and Daphne followed a few steps behind her, but by the time they got in the house Jess had already fetched a gun from the cabinet by the stairs. She handed it to Daphne, who squealed.

“I can’t shoot anyone!” Daphne’s grip on the gun tightened until her knuckles whitened.

“Then give it to Kit,” Jess said calmly with a roll of her eyes as she lifted her skirt to slide out a knife that had been strapped to her calf. “But one of you cover the kitchen door while I wait in the hall in case whoever it is comes in the front.”

With shaky hands, Kit took the gun. She left Daphne at the base of the stairs while she moved into the kitchen to position herself in front of the door. How could Jess be so calm right now? Whatever life she’d led that had her hiding here in Haven Manor, Kit was grateful. She didn’t know what would’ve happened if she and Daphne had been facing an invasion alone.

As the beat of the horse’s hooves grew louder, all Kit could think about was the fact that there were at least two doors in the house no one was watching. Not to mention the windows and the outbuildings . . .

The rider came around the side of the house without stopping. Kit’s hand tightened on the butt of the large gun until her fingers cramped. Could she really shoot someone who came bursting through the door? She flexed her fingers. Well, she certainly couldn’t if she lost the feeling in her fingers.

At least Jess was between the intruder and the children. She wouldn’t let anyone get up the stairs.

Daphne had eased her way into the kitchen and stood a few feet behind Kit, sniffling and murmuring. Kit caught a word every now and then, enough to tell her friend was praying.

Guilt knocked against Kit’s heart. She hadn’t even considered praying. All that talk about trusting God from now on, and here at the first test she’d relied on her own abilities without calling on God. That was going to take a while to unlearn.

The horse came to a stop outside the kitchen door.

Kit raised the gun to her shoulder and waited.

A sharp knock echoed through the kitchen.

Someone intent on attacking them wouldn’t knock, would they?

“Kit? Daphne? Jess? There’s light coming through the kitchen window so I came down here. Open up. It’s important.”

Recognizing the voice, Kit sagged with relief and went to open the door. “Nash?”

The man pushed his way in, dark hair sticking up in every direction. He paced the kitchen, taking five long strides before turning and going the other way. “Where’s Jess?”

“Upstairs,” Daphne said in a shaky voice. “I’ll go get her.”

“I’m here,” the woman said as she returned to the kitchen.

With a shake of her head, Jess crossed the room and gently extracted the gun Kit was now hugging to her chest. “Starting tomorrow we’re adding guns to the defense lessons.”

If Jess could teach Kit how to be so calm in the middle of a scary situation, Kit would take those lessons happily. Harsh breathing rattled from Kit, Daphne, and even Nash, while Jess didn’t even look like she’d made an extra blink.

After she’d stored the gun, she put her hands on her hips and looked at Nash. “Well?”

“I probably should have waited until morning, but when I got this with the evening post I had to come tell you right away,” he said.

He pulled a crumpled letter from the pocket of his waistcoat.

Kit was really beginning to hate the papers that man pulled out of his pockets. “What does it say?”

“The owner of Haven Manor died a few weeks ago. Since all I do is manage this property for him, they didn’t see a need to contact me right away. It didn’t affect my job unless his heir decided to handle it differently.” Nash swallowed and looked from woman to woman. “And he has. The heir has decided he wants to live here.”