FOUR
When she awoke the next morning, it was to a strange, but not altogether unpleasant sensation. Sometime during the night, Meirion had rolled over and embraced her. His arm lay heavy on her waist, his fingers loosely encircling her wrist, and she could feel the solid warmth of his chest against her back. Her hair was stirred by his breath. She laid still for a long moment, cataloguing every sensation and deciding how best to proceed.
There was no question in her mind that it had been a completely unconscious action on his part, but she also felt it was an opportunity she couldn’t afford to waste. She turned in his arms, careful not to wake him, and brushed a lock of hair from his face. She had never been this close to him before, save for that one half-delirious moment after the ritual that bound them.
He was almost heartbreakingly beautiful in sleep, at least to her, and she wanted to touch him, to run her fingers over his sharp cheekbones and his long narrow nose. She wanted it so badly that it felt like a physical pain, but of course, she restrained herself. Despite the fact that they were apparently married, he was hesitant to accept her affection.
Something terrible had happened in his past, that was clear, and though she wanted him to know how she felt, she knew it was best to take things slow, especially considering they were both immortal.
“Meirion,” she said softly. His eyes flickered open, and then widened as he realized where he was and what he was doing.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice rough as he pulled away. “I didn’t mean… I forgot where I was.”
She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I didn’t mind,” she said, and then, before he could protest, she got up and walked into the bathroom. Her heart was racing; she could hardly believe she’d dared to do something like that, but hopefully, she’d made her own feelings plain.
Meirion watched her walk away, his mind swarming with a mess of conflicting emotions. Her hips swayed slightly with every step, and he couldn’t quite bring himself to look away until she closed the bathroom door behind her. He was angry with himself. Embracing her while asleep was something he couldn’t really control, but it felt like his body was betraying him, expressing emotions he wasn’t ready to speak aloud. But more than that, he was angry that when she’d responded to him in a positive way, he hadn’t been able to react.
He’d promised Lord Aidan he would try to ensure her happiness, and he had meant it. So, if she was attracted to him, and he to her, the logical conclusion was to reciprocate her affections. But the idea frightened him more than he wanted to admit.
His brain could come up with all sorts of objections, her age, the fact that she was, technically, still one of his students, but he knew the truth. If he allowed himself to surrender to his feelings for her, there would be no turning back. The last time he had loved someone, it had nearly destroyed him. Leaving himself so vulnerable again filled him with a deep, soul-shaking terror. But he had given his word, and Meirion considered himself an honorable person. If only he had any idea how to take the first step.
********************************
Seren spent the rest of the day filling out paperwork and packing up her life into cardboard boxes, ready to be sent to her childhood home in Wales. It would have been a melancholy task, if Nikki had not been there to help her. This time, Meirion remained in his own room, and she could feel it straining the limits of their bond. It wasn’t painful, not quite, but it was uncomfortable, like the beginning of a tension headache that worsened with time. Finally, the last box was taped up, and she sat back with a sigh. There was a small pile of personal items on her bed, ready to be put into her duffel bag and taken with her, but that was it.
“So, you’re really going to the Otherworld,” Nikki said, putting words to the sense of finality and loss in Seren’s heart.
“Yes. Either tonight or tomorrow. With Lady Aine dead, the quicker we can get there and take control of the situation, the better.”
“I can’t believe one of our professors was the lost Prince of Waves all along. And you’re a princess too,” Nikki said, shaking her head. “It feels crazy to me, but I’m sure it’s worse for you. Are you nervous to meet your real parents?” Seren felt a sharp burst of irritation. She refused to think of the Lord and Lady as her real parents when they had been absent from her life. It wasn’t that she was angry with them, since she knew it had been at least partly for her own protection, but it felt disloyal to the Blythes, who had loved and raised her, even knowing they would someday lose her. Still, she knew Nikki didn’t mean any harm by it.
“A little. I mean, I’ve spent half my life reading about them in textbooks, and I never thought I’d actually meet them, let alone turn out to be related to them,” she said, biting her lip. “And I have siblings too. It’s not spoken of as much in our world, since the Court of Bones has been isolated for so long, but my oldest brother married the daughter of the previous Lord, and now they’re ruling the Court together. They already have a child.”
“And you’re married to the Prince of Waves. You could end up ruling a Court with Meirion,” Nikki said, awed.
“I don’t think…” Seren started to protest, but then she stopped herself. She’d thought about having a real relationship with him, of course. It was often in the back of her mind, but always in an emotional context. She wanted to love him and be loved in return, and yet, had to consider the practical implications of being with him. Whatever he said, it seemed most likely that he would succeed his mother, and, at least in the Otherworld, Seren was his wife. The idea made her shiver.
“Don’t worry about it too much. I think you’d be great. You’re smart and compassionate, which is historically a lot better than many rulers of the Aos Si,” Nikki said, patting her shoulder comfortingly.
“I hope you’re right,” Seren said with a shake of her head, “But part of me hopes it’s a hypothesis that doesn’t have to be tested. Meirion doesn’t want to inherit the throne either, and I feel like it’d be easier to figure out our relationship if we didn’t have to deal with that too.”
“According to psychology, overcoming adversity together makes a relationship stronger,” Nikki countered with a grin. “But I really do hope things work out between you two. If you had seen his face when the monster got you… he looked absolutely heartbroken, and he was so gentle with you when he picked you up to take you to the healers. It was like something out of a movie.”
After a tearful goodbye and many promises to keep in touch, Seren slung her duffel bag over her shoulder and walked back to Meirion’s rooms. She could feel the tension behind her eyes decreasing the closer she came, which was a relief, but when she knocked on the door and he answered, she had to suppress a sudden overpowering urge to embrace him.
Seeing him was a relief, one which she could see reflected in his own eyes, but she needed to touch him, deep in her bones. To her surprise, his arms wrapped around her, answering a question that hadn’t even been asked. In that moment, everything felt… right.
Her head was pressed to his chest, and she could feel his heart beating. He smelled like salt and citrus, and his arms were warm and steady around her back. She felt an indefinable sense of peace, and then, he pulled away. He opened his mouth to say something, but she stopped him by pressing a finger to his lips.
“There’s nothing for you to apologize about, so if that’s what you were planning to do, you may as well stop now. I needed it just as much as you did.” There was amusement in his eyes when she stepped back, and several other emotions she couldn’t quite name. She couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking.
“Did you get everything packed, then?” he asked, moving aside so that she could fully enter the room. Judging by the empty boxes in the corner, he’d been packing some of his own things as well. Though the college would keep his room for him while he was on sabbatical, since he was a tenured professor rather than a student, she supposed there were some things he didn’t want to leave lying around for a year or more.
“Yeah. The Dean promised to get it all sent home for me, so I guess I’m all ready to go now. How about you?”
“Everything of importance is in storage,” he answered, his expression wistful. “I thought we could leave tomorrow morning. The trip may be exhausting for both of us, and I assumed you’d appreciate being alert when you meet the Lord and Lady. Are you hungry?”
“Starving,” she said with a sheepish grin. He smiled back, a real smile that suffused his face with boyish charm. It nearly stole her breath. For the first time she realized that, though he might be much older than her, among the Aos Si, he was still a young man.
“Good. I was planning on cooking. Do you like pasta?”
“Be still my beating heart,” she said, dramatically pressing her hand to her chest. “I didn’t think you could get any more attractive. I love pasta. Do you need any help in the kitchen?” She hadn’t even known he had a kitchen, but now she could see one beyond a door which she’d previously assumed held a closet. In truth, it wasn’t much bigger than one.
He smiled again, though this time his cheeks were slightly flushed. “If you don’t mind chopping some vegetables, I’d love your help.” So, they got down to work. Seren’s adoptive mother had taught her how to cook when she was younger, but it had been a long time since she’d actually cooked with anyone, aside from occasional family holidays.
The atmosphere was a little different working with Meirion, especially since the kitchen was so cramped. Every time they brushed past each other, she felt her heart give an alarming lurch in her chest. And by the sound of his quickly indrawn breaths, she knew Meirion was not indifferent to her touch. He made casual inquiries about her childhood, and in turn, she asked him about his life in the mortal world.
“So, you were teaching at Oxford when you met my mother?” she asked, watching him sauté the chicken and peppers she had sliced a few moments ago.
“Yes. I hadn’t been in the mortal world that long, less than a year, when I met her father, Geoffrey Ravencroft. He was just a young magician then, eager to learn what I could teach, and in return, he helped me acclimate to mortal life. As his star rose in the world, he got me a teaching position at Oxford. I took less care to hide my identity then, but after he and I had a falling out, I was forced to leave. I went to America for many years. It was easy to get lost there. I only came back to England when I got the position at Cambridge.”
“What did you and Mr. Ravencroft argue about?” she asked curiously. It was hard to believe one of the most influential magicians of the modern era was her grandfather, but then, her family tree had undergone a major overhaul in the past few days.
Meirion gave her a wry smile. “He never did quite forgive me for facilitating the bargain with Lord Kennet that saved his daughter’s life, but the real killing blow was my casting of the portal that sent her back to the Otherworld and her fae lover. I think Geoffrey would’ve liked to challenge me to a duel, but he knew he was no match for a full-blooded Aos Si, so he decided to get me fired instead.”
Seren laughed. “So, if it wasn’t for you, I suppose I would’ve never been born.”
“Don’t remind me,” he said, scowling at her. “It makes me feel like an ancient creep.” She laughed again, but then she embraced him from behind. He froze in place, and she could feel his muscles trembling under her palms.
“I don’t think you’re creepy, Meirion,” she said, peering up at him. He was very tall. Seren wasn’t a short woman, being about 5’7”, but the top of her head still only came just past his shoulder. She felt him let out a long, slow, breath, and then he turned toward her, and let his hands rest on tentatively on her hips.
“I’m glad,” he said quietly. “It’s been a long time since I have been in any sort of… relationship, I’m not sure that I know how, but I…” The shrill sound of the oven beeping startled them both, and Seren retreated while he turned his attention back to cooking. She couldn’t help but be annoyed by the interruption, but she felt there had been some definite progress. And the meal was delicious.
Later that night, they got into bed together again, but this time, Seren wasn’t tired enough to fall right to sleep. After what felt like an agonizing eternity of silence, she turned toward Meirion. He rolled half on his back to look at her. “You can’t sleep either?” she asked.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been in the Otherworld. I can’t help worrying about what we might find there,” he admitted.
“Well, I’ve never been there, so you can’t possibly be more lost than me,” she said, and he chuckled in response before turning to face her completely.
“Are you nervous about meeting your family?” he asked, his voice soft. It had been difficult for her to answer when Nikki had asked her earlier, but now, with the darkness shrouding her, the truth spilled out easily.
“I’m excited to know where I came from, but then, I feel bad about it. The Blythes… they were… they are great parents. I want to know Lord Aidan and Lady Rowan, and my siblings, but it feels wrong, somehow. Plus, I can’t imagine they’ll be anything but disappointed in me. They are supposedly the two most magically powerful people in the Otherworld, and I’m just me. Just normal.”
“Seren, you are far from normal,” he said, “And I mean that in the best way possible. You are brilliant, and curious, and stubborn and brave. I’m sure your parents will find you as enchanting as I do.”
Her face was so hot that it felt sunburned, but she couldn’t let that comment rest. “You find me enchanting, do you?” she asked, squirming closer to him.
For several heartbeats, he neither moved nor replied. She was afraid he wouldn’t answer at all, but his hand came to rest on her shoulder and then slid up to her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat as he spoke in a low, hoarse voice. “I certainly would not have considered binding myself to you forever if I did not.”
Warmth bloomed in her chest. She couldn’t stop herself from slipping her arm around his waist, though she was surprised to feel bare skin underneath her hands. The fact that he wasn’t wearing a shirt almost made her brain short-circuit, but she recovered enough to say what she had wanted to say. “If I have to be soul-bonded to somebody, I’m glad it was you.” Leaning in, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He did not pull away, but his hand moved to stroke her hair.
“No matter what happens with the Lord and Lady, I will always be with you,” he murmured. Seren wanted to kiss him again, to touch him more, but at the same time, the sensations of his fingers in her hair was extremely soothing. “Rest now,” he said. “I’ll be here in the morning.”
*****************
Meirion was not surprised to find himself still holding her close when he was awoken by the sound of birds chirping outside his window. What did surprise him was how much he enjoyed it. Things between them had progressed more quickly than he expected, and though he still felt a lingering dread in his heart, his body and his mind were telling him something completely different.
He couldn’t make himself pull away, so instead, he buried his nose in her sweet-smelling hair. It was difficult to restrain himself from doing more, from kissing the back of her neck, or letting his hand trace the curve of her hip. He pulled her as close as he dared, his palm flat against her belly, and felt her stir. When she rolled to face him, she smiled when she found him awake. Her smile did funny things to his heart.
“Good morning,” he said, and even he was startled to hear the sensual tone in his voice. Her smile widened.
“Good morning, yourself,” she replied, slipping her arm around his back. Just as it had the night before, her touch on his skin made his heart skip a beat and his hair stand on end. He hardly knew what to do with himself, except to attempt to ignore the insistent suggestions from his libido.
“Do you feel ready to go to the Otherworld? We could probably wait another day, if you think you need it?” he asked, looking for anything to distract himself from her closeness.
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. As long as you’ll be there with me, I think I can handle it,” she answered, smiling again.
“Of course, I will,” he said, and something possessed him to lean in and kiss her on the forehead. That, in itself, wasn’t particularly scandalous, but it was apparently exactly the thing that Seren needed to embolden her to kiss him directly on the mouth. The touch of her lips on his was gentle, but it may as well have been an electric shock. He might have even moaned, but he definitely kissed her back because, quite suddenly, their tongues were dancing together.
His hand had found its way under the hem of her shirt and her leg was hooked around the back of his knee. He burned for her, desire more intense than any he had ever felt, but his brain was ringing alarm bells. It was too fast, too soon, and furthermore, he had this strange and horrible feeling that Aidan would know, somehow, and would therefore be furious.
He pulled away with a gasp. “We shouldn’t… I’m sorry…. I…” He wanted to say more, to explain his reasoning, but the look of stunned hurt on her face was so wrenching that he fled into the bathroom, and leaned against the door with his head in his hands, taking great shuddering breaths.
Even though his head told him he’d made the right decision, he couldn’t help but feel that he’d made a terrible misstep. When he finally emerged from the bathroom, showered and dressed, he could hardly bear to look at her, and to his great regret, once he finally did so, she wouldn’t look at him. Her eyes seemed red, and he realized, with growing horror, that she’d been crying. He cursed himself inwardly, and took a step toward her. “Seren… I…”
But she stood up like she’d been burned. “I’m going to go take a shower,” she blurted out, and then it was her turn to flee into the bathroom. He stared at the closed door for a long time.