I wasn’t sure which chilled me more, the cold of the outside air or the cold inside me.

Blinded as much by my tears as the snow pelting my face, I trudged forward with my arms wrapped around myself.  Though it was the middle of the day, the snow was heavy enough to keep most people inside and off the roads.  The swirling snow was my only companion.

I picked a direction and walked, not caring where I went or where I ended up… as long as it was away.  It didn’t matter that the four inches of fresh snow that had already fallen that day soaked into my tennis shoes almost instantly, or that the wind’s icy fingers numbed my tear-damp cheeks before I even made it to the end of the mansion’s long driveway.

Hearing Ethan finally say that he didn’t want to have a child shouldn’t have hurt so much.

It did anyway.

Because it wasn’t just that he didn’t want to have children—it was that he didn’t want to have children with me.

This trip… I should never have come.  How stupid was I, to think that this trip would somehow solve everything?  Because, just like I’d told Riley, I’d known for a long time now how Ethan felt.  It had been clear for months, in every action, in every heated word.  Maybe there had been feelings in the beginning, or at least the potential for them; but that felt like a century ago now.  

I should have walked away from Ethan months ago, but I’d been scared and utterly unprepared to face the prospect of raising a child on my own.  And now it was too late.  My baby was going to be born soon, so soon, and I was more alone and unprepared than ever.

At a four-way stop sign I paused for a moment, looking around, then turned in what I vaguely recalled was the direction of some stores.  Walking out the way I had was stupid; I couldn’t stay out here forever.  But I’d made my choice, and now the only way was forward.

Or…  

The money.  Maybe I needed to swallow my pride and take the money.  That was my only option now, wasn’t it?  I’d been saving every penny possible for months now, but the money in my account would go so fast once the baby was born.  Food, diapers, hospital bills… there were probably programs out there to help omegas in my situation, but I didn’t even know where to begin looking.  At least with Ethan’s family’s money, I could pay for the hospital and somewhere to stay for a while until I got my feet under me… although that meant going back and facing them again.  Looking into their eyes and knowing they thought of me and my child as a mistake.  She was unexpected, yes.

But not a mistake.

As terrified as I was of what the future held, seeing Riley’s eyes light up with awe back in that restaurant when he felt my child move inside me had changed something.  A relationship wasn’t supposed to be all misery and loneliness and fighting; I knew that, somewhere deep in my heart.  But I’d been letting it happen anyway, because I kept telling myself that, for the sake of my daughter, having someone around was better than having no one around.  But the look on Riley’s face…  That was what all this was supposed to be like.  My daughter deserved someone who was in awe of her existence, not someone who didn’t want her at all.

And maybe so did I.

Ah, Riley.  If I closed my eyes, I could almost hear him calling my name over the sound of the wind and snow.

No wait—I really could hear him calling me.

No sooner had I realized that I wasn’t imagining the sound of his voice than his arms were wrapping around me in a bear hug that nearly lifted me off my feet, warm and strong. “Chris,’’ he said, the desperation obvious in his voice.  “Answer me.  Say something.’’

“R-R-Riley,’’ I stammered, my frozen mouth refusing to work the way it was supposed to.

Riley cursed under his breath and pulled away for a moment to strip off his coat.  He wrapped it around my shoulders, then vigorously rubbed my arms to try and get some circulation into them.  “Fuck, you’re freezing,’’ he swore, moving his attention down to my hands.  He rubbed them just as fiercely, peering into my eyes.

“S-sorry.’’

He shook his head, hazel eyes bright and worried.  “C’mon.  Let’s just get you in the car.  It hasn’t quite warmed up yet, but it shouldn’t take too long.’’  He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close, guiding me back the forty or so feet to where he’d stopped his black SUV.  It was crooked in the slush the snowplows had pushed toward the curb, still running with the wipers whipping back and forth across the windshield, as though he’d jumped out to get me the moment the car slid to a stop.

“I don’t want to go back,’’ I protested, though I knew it was folly to be out here.  My fingers were numb, but I forced them to curl around the lapel of Riley’s jacket, clutching it around me.  It was his arms I wanted around me, not the jacket.  His touch warmed me up more than any piece of cloth ever could, and I sniffled helplessly as Riley opened the SUV’s door and helped me into the passenger seat before circling around to his own side.

How could I ever have thought that I could be content with Ethan’s apathy, when Riley could make me feel so… so…

Loved.  Wanted.  Safe.

“I d-d-don’t want to go b-back,’’ I said roughly, watching as he cranked the heater up to full blast and angled all the vents he could at me.  The air blowing from the car’s heater wasn’t hot, but still far warmer than the cold wind outside the car.  I realized I was shivering, hands trembling and teeth clacking.

Riley angled himself toward me and ran a hand through my hair; when he pulled it away, his fingers were wet and snowy.  “I should have thought to bring a towel,’’ he murmured, worried gaze sweeping up and down me.

“R-Riley…’’

He focused on my eyes again.  “Okay,’’ he said simply.  “We don’t have to go back.  But we do need to go somewhere and get you warmed up.  Think you can get your seatbelt on for me?’’

I nodded, wishing I had the words to thank him.  It took a few tries since my hands were so shaky, but I managed to get the thing buckled at last. 

Riley suddenly grabbed my left hand and kissed it with lips that felt like fire on my slowly warming skin.  “Don’t ever do that again,’’ he whispered raggedly, then pressed my hand up over one of the vents; I mirrored it with my right hand on the vent near the window, swallowing hard.  

Only then was Riley satisfied enough to put on his own seatbelt.  With a final, worried glance at me, he pulled the car away from the curb and into the swirling snow.

“Almost there,’’ Riley said encouragingly, holding the hotel room door open for me.

“I’ve warmed up enough to walk by myself,’’ I chided him gently, although in truth, I appreciated having him to lean against.  Even though the car’s heater had been going high enough to make Riley’s forehead break out in a fine sheen of sweat and my fingers were no longer numb, I seemed to be frozen to the core.  

“Your lips are still tinged blue,’’ he pointed out, so I let him steer me into the suite’s bathroom and down onto the closed toilet.  He released me long enough to start the shower, then knelt down in front of me and pried off my dripping sneakers and socks.

Suspecting that he fully intended to strip me down and toss me directly into the shower, I allowed him to help me to my feet again, then held up a hand.  “I’ve got it,’’ I said gently.

“But—’’ he started to protest.

“Riley.  I’m okay.’’  The look on his face made it clear that he didn’t believe me, so I stretched up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  “Thank you,’’ I whispered into his ear, then settled back down.

He sighed and nodded.  “Don’t put those clothes back on; they’re soaked.  And stay in the shower until you’re completely warm all the way through, you hear me?’’

“Yes, sir,’’ I teased him.

The alpha’s stern expression softened as he looked down at the swell of my belly.  “You, too, missy,’’ he ordered my baby.  “You keep your dad in there until he feels better, okay?’’

“Don’t think she can answer you,’’ I reminded him, smiling for the first time in hours.  He spoke to her like it was the most natural thing in the world, and not even a boiling hot shower could possibly match the warmth that spread through me at that moment.  It was such a small thing, yet I suddenly found it hard to breathe.

It was the kind of thing a father would do.

Riley made a little noise and shrugged at me.  “Couldn’t hurt to try, right?’’ he said softly.  He gave my belly a comforting pat, then headed for the door.  “Shower,’’ he reminded me over his shoulder, then pulled the bathroom door closed behind him.

Exhausted from the roller coaster of emotions of the last few hours, I stripped off my clothes and left them in a pile on the floor as I stepped into the shower.  One nice thing about being in a hotel was that the hot water wouldn’t run out, like it had a tendency to do in my apartment long before I was done showering.  I’d never been one of those people who could pop in and out in thirty seconds; even though it wasted water, I loved to linger and relax with hot water pounding down onto my head and shoulders, letting myself think of absolutely nothing for a while.  Outside the shower, the world was full of worries and stress; inside it, there was nothing but me and the gentle massage of the falling water.  Being pregnant meant that I had to keep the water cooler than I would have preferred, but it was still nice. 

I stepped under the spray of water with a happy sigh, and as much as I could have crawled into bed and immediately fallen asleep then and there, it was still quite some time before I finally shut off the water and grabbed one of the hotel towels to dry myself off with.

Just as I was wondering if I was going to have to go out into the hotel room wearing nothing but the towel, I spotted a bathrobe hanging on the back of the door.  It hadn’t been there before; Riley must have snuck it in while I was showering.  I blushed a little as I realized that meant Riley had probably heard me humming along to whatever was stuck in my head at that moment—another habit of mine, and one I often didn’t even realize I was doing.  Some sort of Christmas carol, no doubt; “Carol of the Bells” had been playing in the hotel lobby when we checked in, so it was probably that.  Still, I appreciated not having to wander around in a towel, and the hotel’s bathrobe was amazingly soft and fluffy.

“Exactly what is the rule about stealing these, anyway?’’ I asked Riley, padding out into the main part of the room and only then realizing how nice the place was.  It may not have been a five-star hotel, but it was also a far cry from the basic but serviceable hotel chains Ethan and I had stayed in on our trip up here from Florida.  The large, bright lobby with the chandelier overhead should have been a giveaway, but I’d been too distracted by the way Riley kept pulling me so protectively against him to really think about it.  It had probably just been so he could try and keep me warm, right?

Riley looked up, a soft smile on his face.  “They’ll charge the bill for it, but keep it if you want.  How are you feeling?’’

“Tired,’’ I answered honestly.  Truth be told, I was feeling a lot of things, about Riley and my fight with his brother both—too many things for my tired brain to sort through.  I didn’t even care that a quick glance at my phone showed it was barely dinnertime; right now, I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep and hope that by the time I opened my eyes again, things were a little easier to sort through.

Standing, Riley nodded.  “Sleep is probably a good idea.  The room’s paid for, and take whatever you want out of the fridge and snack bar.  I can also order you some food before I go, if you’d like?’’

I didn’t need a mirror to know the way my face fell at his words.  “You’re leaving?’’ I asked quietly, heart sinking.

He hesitated, searching my eyes.  “I thought you might want some time by yourself to think,’’ he said carefully.  

“About Ethan,’’ I finished for him.

“Yeah.  And about…’’  Riley trailed off, suddenly unable to meet my eyes, the final word obvious for all that he hadn’t said it aloud: me.

I stared at the alpha, hands linked beneath my belly.  “I don’t want to be alone,’’ I blurted.  “I do have a lot to think about, but I don’t—I don’t want you to leave.’’

“Chris…’’ he said softly, searching my eyes again.  

“I don’t know,’’ I whispered, answering the unspoken question I heard in the way he said my name.  And oh, what a lie that was, because I did know.  I knew the way just looking at him made my heart pound.  I knew how desperately I wanted to feel his hands on me, sliding over my skin as he made me his.  I knew the way I felt when he spoke to my child like he was her father, and I knew how heart-wrenchingly deeply I wished for that to be true.  I knew how I thought about him all the time when I was awake, and dreamed about a future with him when I was asleep.

I just didn’t know if I had the courage to say all that out loud, when it was his brother’s child inside me and when his parents were so disapproving of me. 

Even if Riley wanted me the way I wanted him, his parents would never let that happen.  I couldn’t ask him to give up his family just for me.  And how would that look, anyway, for me to beg one of their sons to stay with me mere hours after being rejected by the other?  If Preston and Victoria disliked me now, I could only imagine what they would say if they knew I was in love with Riley.

And even if Riley really did the same as I did, it wasn’t just me I had to think about.  I came as a package deal.  Being with me meant raising my daughter, too.  It meant diapers and no sleep and toddler tantrums.  It meant a huge change in his life.  I’d had months to come to terms with how having a child would change every single aspect of my life, but how could I ask that of Riley, when it wasn’t his child?

Riley was still staring at me, hazel eyes inscrutable, and I realized that I’d trailed off.  “Riley, I-I just…’’  Biting my lip, I held out my hand to him. 

It wasn’t fair to ask that of him.  I knew I ought to tell him it was fine for him to leave; I was perfectly capable of making it through one night on my own.

I just didn’t want to, now that I knew him.

He crossed the room, took my hand, laced his fingers through mine.  A moment later, I felt him press a kiss to my damp curls.  “Okay,’’ he said softly.  “I’ll stay.’’

If only it was forever.