Evan had thought Ruth would be a light sleeper, but she barely stirred when his alarm went off the next morning. When he kissed her cheek, she gave a sleepy grumble and swatted at him. So he kissed her again, on the back of her neck, and then her shoulder.

She mumbled something that sounded like, “Ug uff.”

He ignored the fact that he needed to get up and shower within the next ten minutes. Ruth’s back was pressed to his chest, her feet tangled with his, and the frown forming above her tightly-closed eyes made his heart swell. Apparently, he even loved the sight of her scowl.

“What was that?” He asked lightly. Then he bit her ear.

She snorted. “Go away, you horrible man.”

He laughed. “Alright. I have to get up anyway.”

Immediately, she rolled over and slung an arm around his neck. “Why?”

“Oh, now you want to talk?”

“Shut up.” She snuggled into his chest and wrapped a leg around him. “Go back to sleep.”

“I wish.” Gently, Evan disentangled their bodies and got up, checking the time. He could just fit in a shower, if he had a protein shake for breakfast.

When he came back from the bathroom, he found Ruth sitting up in his bed, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Her hair frizzed out around her head like a crown, her braid having lost most of its structural integrity. She offered him a bleary smile. She looked beautiful.

“What are you doing today?” He asked as he grabbed his clothes.

She appeared to consider that for a moment. “I don’t know. Um… Do you need me to leave? When you do?”

“Nah.” He grabbed the door key from his bedside table and tossed it gently towards her. “You’ll be around when I get home, right?”

Silence.

Evan looked up to find that Ruth had, apparently, caught the keys. She was holding them up in the air, staring at her hand as if it were an alien thing. “Huh,” he said, a smile curving his lips. “I didn’t know you could catch.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You are so annoying.”

“So I hear. From you. Every day.”

“Shut up. Are you… are you sure you want to give me these?”

Evan arched a brow. “Why? Are you going to steal all my shit and hide it in your lair? Also known as the flat next door?”

“Maybe,” she said lightly. “I mean, I might steal your bed.”

“You don’t need to steal my bed.” After dragging on a shirt, he leant down to kiss her. Her lips were soft and warm, gliding over his with aching gentleness, and when he pulled back, she was smiling.

“Are you saying I can use your bed whenever I want?” She teased.

“Yeah. But also because I’m gonna fix yours after work.”

Ruth’s jaw dropped. “Fix it?”

“Yep.” He found a jacket and slung it on. “Just need to drill the slats into the frame and cut you a new support beam. There’s a lumber yard next to the forge. I can probably grab something there.”

“But..” She spluttered. “You said you couldn’t fix it!”

“No I didn’t. I said you could sleep with me.”

“You… prick!”

He grinned. “I think it was a very charitable offer. It’s not like I could’ve fixed it last night.”

“Charitable,” she repeated, giving him a look. But he heard the laughter in her voice and saw the tilt of her lips that she tried so hard to suppress.

“Yeah. Listen, I have to go,” he said, searching for his wallet.

“You walking?”

“At this rate, I’d better drive.”

“Great,” she said. “You can take me home later.”

Evan paused in his search, turning to stare at her. “Home as in…?”

“Home,” she repeated. “From town. I’m going in this afternoon to do some things.”

He blinked. “You are?”

“Yes.” After a moment, when he continued staring, Ruth rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you running late?”

Right. He spotted his wallet on the dresser and snatched it up. “Just… be careful.” Don’t get into fights with Amazonian women.

“In case I get chased with pitchforks, you mean?”

“Something like that.” He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “Text me when you… well, text me on a regular basis.”

“Yes, Mother.”

He snorted. Said goodbye. Tried not to worry, and failed.

* * *

Ruth took her time getting ready that morning. Which is to say, she dozed for an hour or three after Evan left, helped herself to Earl Grey and English muffins, and, just for the hell of it, used a shit-ton of his lemongrass body wash.

Because she could, because he wouldn’t mind, because he’d given her his key.

He loved her. Funny how that knowledge left her both sober and elated all at once.

It was around midday when she finally dragged herself over to her own flat, locking Evan’s door carefully. She hung his key up on a coat peg beside her own before heading to her bedroom.

There was a tense moment when she forgot that her bed was a rickety heap, tried to sit down on it, stopped herself halfway, and thought she might go toppling into a stack of comics as she twisted. Luckily, she just landed on her arse instead.

It was, she decided, as good a place as any for this phone call.

Hannah answered the phone with a bright and chirpy, “He-llo?” Which told Ruth that she had company.

“Where are you?” Ruth asked.

“You’ve just caught me on my break,” Hannah said. Her voice was still unreasonably perky. She was probably sitting by a manager or something.

Hannah liked to put her best foot forward. Continuously. Even at a minimum-wage waitressing job she desperately wanted to leave.

“Right. You working tomorrow?”

“I am available tomorrow afternoon, from around five o’clock,” Hannah said smoothly. “Can I help you with something?” What do you need?

Ruth smiled slightly. “I just thought we could go somewhere. Out.”

There was a pause. Then Hannah said carefully, “I am only available in the evening.”

Because Ruth didn’t really go out in the evenings. She occasionally went out during the day, when most people were at work. In the evenings, Ravenswood was really busy, and things like… well, things like that nightmare with Hayley occurred.

Ruth forced herself to shrug, even though Hannah couldn’t see. She was method acting, or something along those lines. She was doing a Hannah; behaving as if she was already who she wanted to be. “That’s okay.”

“It is?” Hannah sounded dubious.

“Yeah. I go where I want now. It’s this new thing I’m trying.”

“Okay,” Hannah said finally. “Well, that would be lovely. I approve, actually.”

“Cool. I’ll call you later.”

Because right now, she had plans to attend to.

After fixing her hair, Ruth rifled through her wardrobe for an embarrassingly long amount of time. Usually, her choice in clothes revolved around the way a fabric felt against her skin, whether the cut would make her feel like she was suffocating in strangeness. On the rare occasion the she left the house, she had to take all of that into account, and also try to look…

“What?” She mused out loud. “Try to look what? Respectable?” A slight smile curving her lips, she shook her head. That wouldn’t do at all.

And just like that, her choice was obvious. She pulled out an old, worn, Captain America tee and a soft pair of leggings. She’d go about her business, as she had a right to, and she’d look like herself while she did it.

* * *

The library fell silent as Ruth entered.

Actually, no; she was probably imagining that. Definitely imagining that. It was a bloody library. It had been silent in the first place.

She kept her spine straight and her footsteps steady as she approached the front desk. Penny Clarke was there, tapping away at the computer, her gaze occasionally flicking to a handwritten list on the desk beside her. But Ruth knew that, soon enough, Penny’s customer service Spidey-senses would kick in.

Sure enough, a moment later, Penny looked up. Her smile was bright, welcoming, and an automatic reflex that faltered as soon as she saw Ruth.

Just keep going. One foot in front of the other.

Ruth plastered a polite smile onto her face as she approached. “Hi, Penny,” she said quietly.

There was a pause. A pause in which Ruth worried that this arguably reckless decision was going to backfire awfully. She became acutely aware of the pressure of eyes on her, all around her—from the old Hykeham sisters by the audiobook section to Tim Mosely, fluttering his paper loudly by the window.

But Ruth focused on Penny. And so, she saw the exact moment when Penny’s shock dissolved into… pleasure?

“Ruth Kabbah!” She cried. Except Penny was more soft-spoken than anyone Ruth had ever met, and so her cry was at the level of the average person’s murmur. “Fancy seeing you,” Penny continued, her round face splitting into a smile.

She flicked off the brake on her chair and began wheeling around the counter. Ruth, moving as if in a dream, found herself bending to accept her old mentor’s hug.

“I haven’t seen you in an age,” Penny said. She kept a grip on Ruth’s arm even after they separated, her grasp firm and motherly. “Where on earth have you been?”

“Nowhere,” Ruth said, honestly enough.

“I suppose not! My Norm said he was round just the other day, seeing to your shower. I said, ‘Did you tell her?’ I’m always asking after you, I am. He says—”

Penny, like her husband, was a talkative woman. Despite being quiet, she said a lot. She couldn’t exactly be called a gossip, because she wasn’t ever malicious; rather, her mouth often ran away with her. Ruth let the reported conversation wash over her in soothing waves.

When a lull finally arose, Ruth dredged up the words she’d practiced. “Penny, I wanted to talk to you about…” She cleared her throat. “About volunteering. Again. I don’t know if you need anyone—”

“Ooh, yes,” Penny beamed. “Of course we do! You know we always need volunteers, especially since you girls, ah, left.” Her beaky nose wrinkled. “Nasty business, that.”

For a second, Ruth’s heart stopped and her sisterly hackles rose, but then Penny added, “The bloody council, so old-fashioned. We could’ve had a qualified nursery nurse running Toddler Time! But nooo, five minutes behind bars and all of a sudden she’s useless.”

Ruth didn’t bother to correct the behind bars comment, or to point out that the council had no control over the law. Truthfully, she couldn’t exactly speak. So she hummed agreeably instead.

Penny tutted as she returned to the desk, pulling open a deep drawer. She heaved out a huge file and rifled through its alphabetised sections until she found the correct form. “Here you are, my love. You know how to fill it out.”

Ruth stared. She hadn’t expected… well, she didn’t know what she’d expected. She’d vacillated between envisioning a warm welcome and a complete freeze-out, caught between her knowledge of Penny’s character and her soul-deep certainty that no-one would want to oppose the collective opinion of Ravenswood.

She’d begun to suspect, recently, that her certainty in these matters was… well, wrong. And here, she supposed, was the evidence.

As she filled in the application form, Ruth considered the wild possibility that Penny might be utterly oblivious to the town’s general attitude. She checked boxes and signed dates and thought that maybe the last two years had simply… passed Penny by.

But when she returned to the front desk to hand in the form—which, amongst other things, confirmed her consent to undergo a legal background check—Penny leaned forward. Her voice even lower than usual, she said, “I’m glad you’re back, Ruthie. Me and the girls missed you. Bugger what anyone else has to say.”

Ruth blinked back unexpected tears. They had snuck up on her, and now they were close to breaking free in the middle of the town library. Good Lord. How absolutely mortifying.

She shoved them down ruthlessly and murmured, “Thanks.”

“Oh, you’re welcome, love. You’ll hear back about that DBS check.”

Ruth nodded, sobering. She’d pass the DBS check, and soon enough, she’d be volunteering again. Introducing the town’s kids to comics and fantasy novels the way she’d used to. But Hannah, whose entire life had revolved around working with kids, wouldn’t be able to.

Some problems could be fixed. Others couldn’t.