“We shouldn’t have gotten drunk last night.” Jasper groaned. “Why did I let you convince me it was a good idea?”

“I’m not really sure,” Zander mumbled, rubbing his neck. It was stiff, thanks to the awful position he’d passed out in. He’d thought that drowning away his feelings had been a great idea. He always seemed to forget that the morning after was shitty.

“At least we have our Range Rover back?” Jasper sighed, leaning back in the driver’s seat. Zander noted they hadn’t started moving yet, though.

“Can we go home?” Zander asked, leaning his seat all the way back.

“Yeah,” Jasper muttered, turning the damn thing on. Zander thought about the night before.

“I said some things last night,” Zander whispered. “About Sawyer, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but they were things you’ve said before in about a hundred different ways.” Jasper grunted. “Zander, you have got to back off with her.”

“I don’t want to,” he said, looking at the roof of the car. “She’s our Sawyer, Jasper. I don’t care what else has happened, she’s ours.”

“You say that,” Jasper said with a bite. “But you’ll go out to Atlanta in a few weeks, get drunk again, pick up some blonde that specifically doesn’t remind you of Sawyer, and fuck her until you forget. Like always.”

Zander winced. Yeah, his life since they realized Sawyer was missing had been one of easy bodies, hard hearts, and quick rendezvous.

“Not anymore,” Zander promised. “She’s back in our lives, permanently. Sure, if things hadn’t played out the way they did, she would have left. And I’d be going back to that, but now she’s here. I saved her life—"

“Don’t be stupid enough to use that against her,” Jasper growled at him. “Don’t even think about it.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Zander snarled, sitting up. “I saved her life, and now she’s on the team. We saved her life. She’s got a chance at putting all that shit behind her. And we can…”

“You are so lovesick,” Jasper mumbled.

He was. Zander knew deep down that no one was ever going to be better than Sawyer. Now he needed to convince Jasper and Sawyer. Jasper was fighting his own rigid sense of morality, and Sawyer was wallowing somewhere in the dark, thinking happiness wasn’t for her. Sure, they could both plaster on a smile and laugh, but at the end of the day, Zander knew they were at war with themselves.

“How are you feeling?” Zander asked softly. “About everything?”

“I don’t know,” Jasper whispered. “I’m missing a leg…that fucking sucks. Sawyer is alive and staying with us, that’s amazing.”

“Not what I was asking about, though… sorry about the leg. I knew when I saw it that I couldn’t save it,” Zander apologized, swallowing a lump in his throat. He remembered the sight of Jasper’s crushed lower left leg. He remembered the shock Jasper was going into. Since the hospital, Jasper was coping well mentally with it. The team was thankful for that, at least.

“My leg isn’t yours or Quinn’s fault.” Jasper sighed. “As for what you are asking about… Zander, I just don’t know. I’m furious enough to hunt Axel down just to rip his head off. I’m sad enough that I sometimes want to lay in bed and not deal with it. And Sawyer… she killed people, Zander. She was infamous for it. And that’s hard to take in.”

“Is it?” Zander frowned. “Personally, I think it’s great. Not the Shadow part but… She’s strong enough to survive, and she did it all to protect people she cared about. That’s got to mean something. She never did any of it willingly. Her animal bond and a boy’s life were on the line. You can’t judge her for that—"

“Look,” Jasper snapped at him. “You asked me how I’m feeling, I’m telling you. Let’s not make an argument out of it right now.”

Zander wanted to. He wanted to shake Jasper until he rattled his friend’s brain enough that Jasper stopped caring about Sawyer’s past. Zander’s temper built at the idea that Jasper would condemn Sawyer over her history. He wanted to scream that none of it was her fault. It was theirs for leaving her.

“Jasper, we need to talk about it,” Zander growled.

“It’s been three and a half days since she woke up, Zander!” Jasper hissed, turning to him. “Give me some fucking time, please. That’s all I’m asking. Give this some time to settle. She doesn’t have any secrets anymore, and now we can really talk to her. Give me a chance to do that. Then you can argue with me, her, and anyone else you want. You can kick down my door and strangle me if I don’t agree with you. But you need to give me some time to figure it out.”

Zander went silent, fuming at Jasper’s avoidance of the conversation. He didn’t care if Jasper had a point. He could ignore that. Zander dealt with problems the moment they showed up, and he didn’t need time to figure out what he wanted. Jasper could drag his feet.

Zander was going to get Sawyer, with or without him.

He stormed off the moment Jasper parked the Range Rover in the garage. He went down to the gym and wrapped his hands quickly. He was going to exercise, beat out the frustration.

His workout was rapid-fire, and he was probably in the gym for an hour. He hit a rhythm, hitting the punching bag until he was sure his knuckles were bruised.

He was mad that Jasper was right, and Zander didn’t want him to be. Sawyer killed people under a name that brought fear to the hearts of Magi in power all over the world. Her combination of abilities, the depth and strength of her magic, it was no wonder she was so good at it. She could beat him into the mat without thinking. She ran circles around Elijah in armed combat.

And he wanted her.

He stopped hitting the punching bag and rested his forehead on it, holding it to stop the swaying.

He wanted her like he always had. He just didn’t care about what she did as Shadow, under Axel’s thumb, and he didn’t want anyone else to care. He wanted everyone to get the fuck over it. He wanted to chase the shadows from her eyes.

Zander had fucked a lot of women since he’d discovered what sex was. A lot. Even a couple guys, though he didn’t swing that way like Elijah.

None of them had ever been her. He could still remember that night. He shouldn’t have done it. He and Jasper were leaving. She was a girl with a crush on her only two friends. And it was the best night of his life. He’d spent years chasing it, chasing her, chasing the connection he’d had with her. The friendship, the camaraderie, the closeness without it being overbearing or heavy.

He tried sleeping with a girl who had looked like her once, and it had gone horribly. It was like he’d had an imposter in his bed.

“Fuck me.” Zander groaned. He punched the bag several more times. Catching Axel should have fixed everything. She was safe, alive.

He hadn’t realized the depth of her secrets and how those would carry over into the aftermath. He just wanted his family back together. Zander knew he was going to have to fight for that.

He wasn’t going to let this family throw it all away like his first had. Like his mother had thrown him away.

He was stepping out of the shower hours later when he felt the crack of power roll through the house. Someone had pissed off Quinn.

He sighed as Elijah jumped out of his room. Zander looked over to him and shrugged.

“I just got out of the shower,” Zander told him. “What do you think happened?”

“They are doing work for their GEDs right now.” Elijah groaned. “Want to come with me and check on them?”

“Yeah.” Zander sighed. “Let me put on pants.” He pulled the towel off his waist and walked nude back to his room. Elijah was chuckling behind him. “Enjoy the view.” Zander laughed before going into his room.

“Dick,” Elijah called after him, and Zander broke out in a grin as he grabbed a pair of sweats. He pulled them on, not bothering with anything else.

He and Elijah made it downstairs and found Vincent in the hallway outside his office, pale.

“Don’t go in there,” Vincent warned them. “Quinn’s pissed today, and I can’t figure out why. I sent Sawyer off to do her down-work nearly an hour ago, so it’s not her.”

Zander looked at Elijah, who shrugged at him this time.

“I’ll check in on him,” Elijah whispered. “Back me up. Is Jasper in there?”

“Yeah, but he’s not mad at Jasper,” Vincent mumbled darkly. Zander raised his eyebrows. What had their fearless leader done to piss Quinn off this much? They hadn’t had a house shake in nearly a year.

Elijah led them in, and Zander quickly moved to Jasper’s side. Jasper was pale but unharmed. Elijah closed in on Quinn, who snarled.

“What’s wrong, brother?” Elijah asked quietly.

“Nothing,” Quinn snapped. “Nothing at all.”

Zander didn’t need any special ability or magic to know that was a lie. He looked down at Jasper, who shook his head ever so slightly.

“What did Vincent do?” Elijah inquired carefully. Zander heard an indignant noise come from Vincent.

“Nothing,” Quinn said softer this time. “I’m just in a bad mood. It’s nothing.”

“Go for a run.” Elijah sighed. “Clear your head. You can come back to this tomorrow.”

Everyone in the room waited with bated breath to see how Quinn would take Elijah’s order. Vincent might have been their leader, but Elijah always had a way with Quinn the rest of them didn’t. Zander didn’t know if it was because of their relationship, or if the relationship was a result of Elijah’s handling of Quinn.

Quinn started to leave the room before Elijah grabbed him gently.

“We’re talking about this later,” Elijah said with stern conviction. “Don’t back-slide on us. When something’s bothering you, you need to talk.”

Zander looked down at Jasper again and narrowed his eyes. Jasper glared up at him from his seat. Vincent moved closer to them so Quinn could leave.

They all started breathing again once Quinn was out of the house and in the woods.

“He hasn’t been that cranky in a long time,” Elijah mumbled. “Vincent, what happened?”

“He’s out of practice on his more advanced reading.” Jasper sighed, cutting in before Vincent could speak. “He was having a hard time with reading some things, especially the required Shakespeare and stuff. Vincent tried to help. It’s slowed his progress in the science work because I can’t move him on until I know he can… read the words.” Elijah muttered a curse. “And he needs to be able to read to take the tests. We just need to get him through the damn tests and we can let this all go.”

“He hates reading, and he’s feeling inadequate,” Elijah guessed, looking up at the ceiling. He pulled his hat off and dusted off invisible dirt. “I should have noticed it at breakfast. He hasn’t been so angry about learning anything in a long time.”

“Why?” Zander scoffed. “No one here has ever judged him over his education level. That makes no fucking sense. And I’m more than willing to kick the shit out of anyone who does.”

“It is Sawyer,” Vincent whispered. Zander glared at Vincent. Sawyer would never judge Quinn… right? “It’s Sawyer, isn’t it?”

“Probably.” Elijah groaned. “He was just adjusting to her even being in the house, and on the property, and now she’s seeing his weakest area. None of us have told her…”

That Quinn couldn’t read or write for most of his life. He used to be illiterate, and he was currently only at the reading level of maybe a seventh grader.

They were working on it, but Quinn was in his mid-twenties and learning was slower at that age than when children normally learned these things. Hell, Quinn was older than Sawyer. They would have started when they first met him, but for nearly six months, he’d somehow kept it a secret from the team. Quinn had found every way to avoid exposing the issue.

He was prickly over it, and Zander couldn’t blame him.

“Fuck,” Zander mumbled. She could accidentally say something or ask Quinn something and really hit a soft spot. They had agreed it wasn’t her business before Atlanta, but now? If she was going to be here for five years, they needed her to know.

“Who wants to tell her, so she knows not to step on Quinn’s toes over it?” Vincent looked around between them.

They were all silent.

“I will,” Zander spoke up when no one else did. “With back-up.”

“Why are we so scared of telling her?” Jasper wondered.

“It’s not her.” Elijah chuckled. “It’s Quinn’s reaction when he learns that she knows and finds out who told her.”

“Duh,” Zander mocked Jasper, who swung a crutch at him. Zander winced as it nailed him in the thigh. “Fucking prick.”

“Asshole,” Jasper growled in reply. “Don’t make me use these to beat you to death.”

“Like you could,” Zander growled back, a smile beginning to form. He was always glad to see some fight in Jasper’s eyes. Or anyone’s eyes, really. Zander was a firm believer that a fight was always the best way to handle something.

“Alright.” Vincent sighed. “You both can go.”

“Fine,” Jasper groaned, standing up with the use of the crutches. “When do I get a new leg, Elijah? I’m already tired of these fucking things.”

“Uh.” Elijah frowned. “I’ve got some sketches worked up… It might take me a couple weeks to make a prototype, though.”

“Of all the things that could have happened,” Jasper mumbled.

“You’re handling it better than most would,” Zander reminded him. “I mean, you were going into shock when it happened, but you made it through surgery and got up kicking. It could be worse.”

“How can it be worse?” Jasper glared at him.

“You could have lost more?” Zander shrugged, raising his hands in mock surrender.

It made everyone in the room around him chuckle, and he grinned at Jasper, who couldn’t stop the snort of laughter.

“You could have lost something I can’t give you a replacement for” Elijah added, looking around between them. “That’s much worse.” Zander’s eyes went wide at the possibility that Elijah was suggesting. Oh yeah, that’s a horrifying prospect. And a hilarious one.

“Oh my god,” Jasper moaned, a smile lighting up his face as he shook his head. Zander grinned like a fool at his best friend. “Dick jokes! Every time, Elijah.”

“See? Worse,” Zander teased.

“I’m astounded by the maturity of my team,” Vincent groaned, covering a smile. “Astounded. The International Magi Police Organization should be honored to have you all in their service.”

“Damn right!” Zander laughed. “Now, let’s go deal with Sawyer. Elijah can deal with Quinn, and Vincent can… hide in his office. Normal day. Come on, Jasper.”

“I can find something to do, I’m sure,” Vincent muttered, narrowing his eyes on Zander. Zander took it as his time to leave.

Zander and Jasper left with Elijah. They parted ways at the staircase with Elijah heading towards the back door instead of up to Sawyer’s room. When Zander and Jasper made it outside her door in the attic, they could hear the soft music she was playing. Even outside the door, there was now a chill, a line of cold that marked her space. Zander wondered if it was going to slowly take over the entire house.

“Let’s get this over with,” Zander mumbled. “Who do you think is going to be angrier?”

“Quinn or…?” Jasper frowned at him.

“Quinn, over the fact that we told her, or Sawyer, over the fact that we didn’t.” Zander sighed.

“Damn it.” Jasper groaned, reaching forward to knock on the door.