CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
He gave himself two days of thinking. Two days with no interruptions. His friends had tried, but he said he had work. What he was doing was thinking. He’d thought about his plans. Especially the find a woman to live his life with, marry, and then start a family plan. Then there was his ideal for that woman. Elegant, poised, well-dressed. Hope was the exact opposite.
Walking into the Howler Newman found Noah at the bar. “Hope on, bud, or out framing up yet another Redwood for the perfect shot?”
“She’s in. She and the legend that is John Finch worked this morning. She’s out back now, taking a break. You sweet on her or something? This is the second time you’ve come in here asking.”
“Or something,” Newman said, then moved out the back to where he knew there was a small room set up for the staff to take their breaks.
She was sleeping on the table when he walked in, head pillowed on her hands. Her face was turned his way and he saw the fatigue in the smudges beneath the eyes. He felt a tug of something inside him. Not sure what, he moved closer. Dropping to his haunches beside her, he touched her cheek. Her eyes opened slowly, and the brown depths were unfocused from sleep.
“Hey.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.” He touched the lock of hair that had fallen over her cheek. Pushing it aside, he leaned in and kissed her softly. “You doing okay?”
“Just tired.” Her voice was soft and unused.
“I hear that happens in the early stages.”
“Me too. I read a bit about it.”
“Me too.”
She sat up then, and rubbed her eyes like a small child. She wore a short tartan skirt and white T-shirt that had the Howler’s logo on it.
“We’ll work it out, Hope.”
She nodded. “It’s just I never planned for this, you know. My life has always been set in a direction, just like my mom wanted it to be.”
“What about what you want?” He touched her chin, and it was warm from sleep.
Her sigh was small. “My mom was an activist. She was into everything, and also a good lawyer. Not many people know this, but Ryan and I do, because we read about her and saw pictures.”
“Actually, I can see that,” Newman said. “Just not how she ended up the way she did.”
“Bitter and bristly?”
He nodded.
“She was a good mom, but I think she loved my father, but he realized he couldn’t live here, and she realized she couldn’t leave, so it ended. I think most of the bitterness came then, being left with two children to raise alone.”
It wasn’t the ideal place to have this conversation, anyone could walk in, but Newman wasn’t about to stop her talking when it was usually so hard to get any personal information out of her.
“Me and Ryan think he broke her heart, because no one is born that way, right? I mean, she was a good mom, but she’s pretty hard and unemotional.”
“And you have constantly been trying to get her approval and not let her see you fail?” Sounded familiar to Newman.
“Maybe. Yes, I guess. Although I probably didn’t realize it until now.”
“You even dress like her. How could you not realize it?” Newman took any sting out of his words by smiling. She gave him a small one back.
“What about you? Now you got me at a weak moment, and I bared my soul, it only seems fair you reciprocate.”
“I’m adopted, and no one knows.” He wasn’t sure why he told her of all people the secret he’d carried deep inside him for so long. But he had, and could not take it back now.
“Wow. I can’t believe no one knows.” The shock on her face was real.
Newman got to his feet and pulled a chair close. When he sat, his knees touched Hope’s.
“My dad is someone who likes to be in control. He couldn’t control the fact that he and Mom couldn’t have children, but he could control the fact that no one knew. So he moved him and Mom away for two years, and when they came back to Howling, it was with me.”
“And he controlled you from the beginning?”
Newman nodded at these insightful words.
“And he never let me forget that I should be grateful. Always threatened me with chucking me out of the house if I wasn’t helpful and grateful.”
The breath hissed from Hope’s mouth.
“Bastard! How dare he do that to you! You must have been terrified as a child.”
He enjoyed her anger on his behalf. It soothed something inside him, and he felt it again, that warm feeling in his chest as he looked at her.
“Not terrified, more on edge.” He took the hand she waved in front of her at his words. “It’s really okay, Hope. My mom loved me.”
“I was scared of failing my mom.”
“So we both have parent issues. At least we have something in common,” Newman joked.
“I’m scared, Newman.” He read the fear as she looked at him. Saw how pale she was, and pulled her onto his lap. She didn’t fight him, instead resting her head on his chest.
“How about we take this slow. For now, we’re going to be parents in….”
“Just over eight months.”
“Okay. So that gives us time to prepare. How about we take small steps and try and work out what’s best for us and the baby?”
The top of her head hit his chin as she nodded.
“And we’re friends, Hope, which is a better place to start than a lot of parents.”
“We are.”
“And I have style even if you don’t.”
“There’s that, and I care about the environment and you don’t.”
“Okay, good. So you can teach our child to recycle, and I can teach it to look good. Not sure what else there is to parenting, but sounds like a good start to me.”
She snuffled, then raised her head. They were close. Close enough that he saw the small gold flecks in her eyes.
“I may have teased you about your do-gooding, and being a nice man, but you are, Newman.”
“Aw, thanks.”
“I always thought you were too nice actually.”
“And there’s that mouth.”
“You can’t expect me to change overnight. But after telling me about your father, I understand you more.”
He didn’t want her to change, he realized. He liked her as she was. Bad dress sense, attitude, and need-to-save-the-world ways.
“I need to go back to work now, Newman.”
“Okay, but if you need anything you let me know.”
“I will, but I’m just tired at the moment.”
“No morning sickness?”
“A bit.”
“Let me know when you want to tell your mom, and I’ll come round.”
She frowned, and then slid off his lap. He missed the weight of her spread across his thighs.
“I don’t need you to help me with that. I can tell her.”
“We’re in this together, Hope.”
“Am I going to be there when you tell yours?”
Hell no.
“You don’t need to do that.”
“And yet you think I need you at my side to tell my mom?”
He wasn’t fooled by the softly worded question. Hope wasn’t happy, and their truce was about to cease. Newman scrambled to come up with the right words.
“My dad’s an asshole.”
“And my mom’s a saint?”
She had him there.
“My parents are away visiting my aunty.”
“And?” She lifted a brow.
“And nothing.” Newman got to his feet. “And that’s enough talking for one day, because for almost thirty minutes we actually talked without sarcasm, which is likely a record.”
“I’m not sarcastic.” She stood beside the table, hands on hips, glaring at him in those ugly boots that he was starting to find way too sexy. What the hell is with that?
“Whatever. I’m out. Don’t overdo it with Finch, the first trimester is the hardest.” He closed the door on her outraged shriek, and didn’t exactly run from the Howler, but it was a swift walk.