When Ryan agreed with me, I was so relieved. It felt so good to know that we were actually feeling the same way and that he wanted to take a break too.

We talked for a long time at the coffee shop, about Kay and Brent and all the stress they were going through just to pull off an average wedding.

We talked about our own reasons for getting caught up in the excitement, for wanting to get married ourselves, for going so far as to hire a professional matchmaker and going through with having her arrange a mate for us.

Thinking about it now, it sounds ridiculous. I can't believe I went that far just because I wanted my own special day too.

I felt great for the first few days. Lighter, freer. It felt good to get Mom and Stacy off my back about the wedding and babies.

Of course, I haven't exactly told them that we broke up. I just told them we canceled the wedding plans for the time being so they'd leave me alone without having to switch gears to sympathy and hearing what a prick Ryan is.

Sometimes they're just too much on my side.

There's no way I could handle listening to Stacy talk shit about him. Ryan didn't do anything wrong. It was my idea to take a break.

Maybe this was more than I had in mind, but I can't blame Ryan for breaking my heart. This was all my idea.

"How's Rye?" Kay asks nonchalantly as we sit at her dining room table wrapping ribbons around little bags of candy for favors. "I haven't heard you talk about him for awhile."

I shrug. I haven't told Kay anything. She's way too busy with last minute wedding stuff for me to dump my own crap on her.

"More ribbon," I mutter with my hand out. I don't know if it's an attempt to change the subject or not. I kinda don't want to get into it and at the same time I kinda wish I had someone to talk to about it, and I kinda want to know what Ryan's told Brent.

"Brent said Ryan didn't stay for the bachelor party," Kay mentions casually as she hands me another spool of ribbon.

Of course, I know her better than that. She's fishing for info.

My brow furrows at the news though.

"But Ryan's his best man," I point out, "how could he skip the bachelor party? Wasn't he in charge?"

Kay's quiet long enough to make me look up at her. She's sitting perfectly still, and looking at me suspiciously. Then her eyes fall to my hands as I continue tying the ribbon into a bow and one perfectly waxed brow shoots up on her forehead.

"Where's your ring?" The question is equal parts concern and shock.

Shit. Frankly, I'm surprised it took her this long to notice, but there's no getting around it now.

"Took it off," I shrug as nonchalantly as possible while not looking at her at all.

I hear Kay make a sucking noise and I can picture her face in my mind, with her lips pursed together to one side and shaking her head just slightly.

She knows me too well for me to get away with the vague answer.

"Hmm," she muses.

I'm surprised she doesn't launch into an interrogation right away. Instead, she leaves it hanging between us as she goes back to her ribbon tying in silence.

"We broke up," I eventually mumble when the silent accusation is too much for me to take any longer.

"What?" Kay drops her project on the table and turns her chair to face me, "Spill! What the fuck happened?"

From her tone I can tell she automatically assumes it must have been Ryan's idea.

"Calm down," I tell her, "it was me, Kay, I broke it off with him."

Well at least she's not on a mission to call Brent and have him chew his best man out on my behalf, but she's looking at me like she's never seen me before.

"Kimmie, why would you do that?" Kay tilts her head to one side, making her look a little like a confused Cocker Spaniel. "You guys are perfect for each other, I thought you were in love with Ryan?"

Oh boy. There's that whole love thing again.

My stomach knots painfully and a wave of nausea washes through me. I seriously consider whether or not I should run to the bathroom to throw up but I manage to swallow it down before answering her.

"Kay, we've known each other for a month. How can we be in love already?"

Kay studies me with a look I've never seen on her face before, something wise and mature that makes her look so much more grown up than she acts most of the time, "Well, you guys went through Raven just like Brent and I did. Raven's really good at her job, you know."

I nod. Raven Swann is the best in the business. She's not just a glorified dating service that calls herself a match maker, she really does take her job seriously and she has the testimonials of hundreds of happy couples to prove it.

The fact that I ended up matched with my best friend's fiance's best friend is a bit of a mind fuck. Like, Kay and Brent weren't even on our teams because they were so busy with their own wedding plans.

It's a complete coincidence that we're connected through mutual friends.

"Raven had to know you would have met Ryan on your own through the wedding," Kay thinks aloud, "but your teams couldn't have known that."

It's my turn to hike a brow up my forehead, "What's your point?" I ask tentatively.

"Just wondering," Kay says. "But you seemed like you really liked Ryan, and he sure as hell is into you! Why'd you call it off?"

"It was just too much, Kay," I tell her, silently begging her to understand. "Mom won't shut up about grand babies. I mean, I knew she'd be excited about me getting married and starting a family, but she's over the top. A couple weeks ago she called me from the mall to ask if I'd decided how to decorate the nursery yet."

Kay gives me an appropriately dismayed look and I know she gets what I'm saying.

"You'd think Stace was planning her own wedding, not helping with mine," I add. "When she's not in my face, she's blowing up my phone, trying to get me to go see a bunch of venues I'm not interested in--"

"--And sending you color swatches you don't like, and suggesting brides maid dresses that you hate," Kay interjects.

I grin. "Did I do that to you?" I ask, horrified at the thought that I might have caused my bestie half the grief my sister has caused me.

"Just a little bit, in the very beginning," she tells me with a grin. "It's OK. I knew how bad you wanted your own wedding. You've been collecting pictures of dresses since before I met you."

"Ugh, and when I was planning my wedding for real, none of them were right!" I tell her.

Kay laughs and nods. "Welcome to my hell," she says lightly. "But why break up?" she asks with a frown. "Why not just put off the wedding? Keep dating and get to know each other until you're more comfortable with the decision?"

A new wave of nausea moves through me and suddenly I'm on the verge of tears. I shrug helplessly. "I don't know," I tell her, "that's kinda what I thought too, but then Ryan didn't even argue when I brought it up and next thing I know it was just-- over."

My voice hitches on the words and tears spill down my cheeks.

Kay quickly finds me a box of tissues and hands them to me with a worried look. She's not used to me being the emotional one and, frankly, neither am I.

"Sorry," I tell her through the sniffles, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I didn't think I was that upset about it."

"Sweetie," Kay says as she reaches over to pull me into a hug that only makes me cry harder, "you love him. It's OK to be sad."

I wipe my nose with the tissue and wrap my arms around her while she rubs my back. "But I'm the one who broke it off," I wail through a new onslaught of tears.

Kay's shoulders shake gently under my arms with a light laugh, "That's because you're a goober," she assures me, "and Ryan's an idiot for letting you break up with him. He must be a mess, Kim. That man is head over heels for you."

This news just makes things worse and my tears turn to sobs. "Then why didn't he say so?" I demand as I take my head off Kay's shoulder to blow my nose before I get snot all over her cute blouse.

Kay shakes her head. "Because boys are stupid," she tells me.

Her reason is as good as anything I can think of so I nod and choke on a new wave of sobs even as I can't help but laugh a little too.