Chapter 15

It was almost eight when he got off the freeway and another fifteen minutes before I smelled salt in the air. “We’re at the beach.”

The sign read “Redondo Beach – Two Miles” and I felt positively giddy as my excitement rose.

“Yeah.” He turned into a small side street where I saw the ocean between gaps in the beach front houses. “I thought you might appreciate this. I should’ve brought you here last night instead of that party.”

My hand went up to the scarf. “You didn’t know.”

He made a small sound in the back of his throat and then turned into the driveway of an attractive two-story house with a red roof and a surfboard propped next to the door. 

The windows were dark and I looked at him as he cut the ignition and undid his seat belt. “Where are we?”

He grinned. “Mi casa.”

I blinked. “Come again?”

“My house.”

I stared at the house again and got out of the car. The sound of the door closing echoed throughout the quiet neighborhood. 

The house was one of the larger ones on the block with big windows, a wide green lawn, and a waist-high wrought iron fence that screeched as Julian walked through it to the front door, keys tinkling in the night. 

The smell of the ocean was almost intoxicating and I took a deep breath, letting it stay in my chest for as long as I could before releasing it. 

He unlocked his front door and then stood aside for me, one hand at his hip. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

The sounds of the waves crashing against the sand was obvious and I peeled off my shoes at the edge of the white carpet that separated the living room from the hall, my feet sinking into the thick, soft depths. 

“Your house is immaculate,” I said with some surprise, noting the pale blue walls and the off-white furniture with a minimum of knickknacks. The house smelled pleasantly of sandalwood. There was a large wide-screen TV across from a fireplace, with a white leather sofa between them. I walked past them, drawn to the sight of the ocean through the large bay windows in the back of the house next to the kitchen in a little breakfast nook. 

There was a patio out back and I opened the sliding doors and stepped onto the wooden floors.

The door slid shut behind me and Julian came to stand next to me, one hand on the porch railing. The glow of the full moon reflecting off the dark waves was almost hypnotizing. 

“Sometimes it’s like you’ve never seen the ocean,” he said. 

“I saw it a few times as a kid,” I replied, fingers resting lightly on the wooden hip-high railing. “And when I went to college, I was partying with my friends. Then I went to work at Shokogan. I’ve been too busy to think about the ocean.”

“I guess I take it for granted,” he said. “I lived here my whole life. The only time I was away was when I went to Japan.” The corners of his eyes crinkled. “I wish I could see it from your eyes. I’m not saying I’m bored with the view, but it’d be nice to get a fresh look at it.”

“I wish I could show you, make you feel the way I do,” I said quietly.

He moved slightly and then he was around me, hands next to mine, his breath warm on my ear. 

I shivered, but I didn’t stop him. 

I didn’t want to. 

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he asked in a low voice that did things to the pit of my stomach, made it feel like butterflies were fluttering around. “The wind blowing the hair from your face, I think I can almost count the stars reflected in your eyes. Now that’s something I wish I could show you.”

Had I heard that line in a movie, I would’ve cackled like a jaded old crone. But at that moment, coming from him, every word seemed to be magical, free of artifice. “I wish I could see it. I wish I could believe you.”

“Yeah,” he whispered and I shivered again. “Me, too.”

He pulled away abruptly. “Come inside.”

“But the ocean—”

“I’ll open the windows,” he said, already half inside. “We’ll have someplace to sit, you can see and hear the waves, and I’ll get you something good to drink.”

“Shochu?” I asked somewhat wistfully, and he laughed. 

“No, but maybe something just as good.”

That something just as good turned out to be an expertly mixed martini, although I did make a face at the olive, which he then speared out with a toothpick and ate it himself. 

“Not a fan of olives?”

I was sitting at a picture window, legs up on the cushions, with another open window near me and the salt air tangy on my mouth. 

He turned off the lights, choosing to light a few tapers of white candles which were placed in strategic nooks that kept them from getting blown out by the wind. 

“It’s beautiful,” I said, the martini glass almost forgotten in my hand. “You can see the stars. It’s impossible to see them in Tokyo. It would be wonderful to live here.”

He leaned against the kitchen counter, a bottle of beer next to his elbow. 

“You could, you know.”

I blinked at him through the semidarkness, not sure if I heard right. “Sorry, what?”

His movements were silent, graceful as he came to my side and sat down on chair from the table next to me. 

“I said you could.”

I licked my lips, tasting the tangy saltiness of the ocean on my tongue. “How?”

He reached for me. 

His thumb traced a soft line along my lower lip. 

It was an infinitely tender gesture and my chest started to hurt. 

“Rika, it has been just…” He took a deep breath, his chest moving powerfully. “Amazing. I met you a week ago, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. To be honest, I’m having a hard time admitting to myself that I’m losing you on Saturday. That’s so soon.”

I didn’t know what to say. “Julian, I—”

He shushed me with the simple expedience of putting his finger over my mouth. “Let me talk.”

I nodded mutely, and when he took his hand away, I almost regretted not licking it to see if it was salty as the ocean outside. 

“Rika, how do you feel about me? About us?”

I bit my lower lip, thoughtful. “I have a hard time with the language, but when I’m with you, I’m happy. Comfortable.”

His teeth glinted white. “Me, too. I feel comfortable around you. I feel like I can relax. And it’s going to be hard…to not be able to feel like that when you leave.”

My throat swelled. 

Good Lord, he wasn’t going to…

“Rika,” he said, taking the martini glass from me and replacing it with his hands. “I want you to stay.”

I blinked again. “Stay? You mean…”

“I don’t want you to go with Nobu. You can stay here. Or somewhere else. Anywhere. I want to explore the possibility of…you know. Being with you. On a more permanent basis.”

My head whirled. “But my job—”

“You can work with me. You’ll get paid more, you’ll get more respect. Our branch office is right off the boardwalk. You’d love it there, I know.”

It was tempting. 

So damn tempting. 

My hands tightened in his. “Julian, this is…I mean, I don’t even know what to say.”

He shook his head. “Don’t say anything just yet. You have time. You have a few days, right?”

“But, I mean, my family, getting a visa to work here, it’s so much work,” I protested. “I’m not saying you’re not worth the effort, but—”

“Leave it all to me,” he said confidently. “I’ll do all the work. All you have to do is stay here. Give me—us—a chance.”

And it would have been easy, so damn easy to give it. To look him in the eyes, bring his hands up to my lips, and tell him yes, yes to everything. He was so comfortable to be around, and his kisses made my chest tighten. So there was something there.

I wanted someone like Julian to love me. 

Why, then, did a pair of haughty, icy dark eyes taunt me from the deepest crevices of my mind?

“Does Mr. Miyano know about this?”

“No.”

I couldn’t hide my smile. “You are such a great guy, Julian. I can’t believe you would go through all that effort for me.”

“You’re worth it.”

I saw the truth reflected in his eyes and my chest swelled. 

But I shook my head. “No. I can’t do this to you. You know how I feel about Nobuki. I can’t go to you with another guy on my mind. That’s not fair. Would you be satisfied with the knowledge that I dreamed about another man? You told me a few days ago that I need to get Nobuki out of my mind, by all means necessary. I’m going to do it. I can’t give you an answer without finding out the answer to that question, Julian.”

He nodded, his thumb tracing circles around mine. “I know. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m okay with that. I want you to figure out what’s going on between you and Nobu.” A corner of his lips twisted up. “Besides, I’m way too good of a guy to end up with a woman who wants someone else.”

I put a hand on his stubbled cheek and my mouth on his. 

I meant to pull back after a moment. I meant to give him a simple, closed-mouth chaste kiss. 

But then my hands were running through his soft blond hair, tasting his flavor, tasting the salt from his lips, and he was kissing me hard, harder than when we kissed on that beach half a lifetime ago. 

I was weightless as he lifted me and carried me through the semidarkness. 

I told myself this was what I wanted. I knew this was going to happen the second he brought me here. To say anything to the contrary would’ve been disingenuous.

But I couldn’t let myself relax in his arms. Which made me wonder; how the hell was I supposed to seduce my boss if I couldn’t even allow myself to have sex with a guy who had feelings for me?

I wasn’t used to this. I wasn’t used to being so open, sexually or otherwise. It was hard to fight almost twenty years of living with the idea of the “white bride” and the significance of being a virgin for one’s husband. I tried my best to bury the stupid inhibitions because they didn’t belong here. 

Here was me and a man who made my pulse quicken just looking at him. 

I was lucky. So very lucky. 

He put me somewhere soft, and I had the vague idea that I was in a bed, presumably his bed, a huge affair with soft sheets and softer pillows, but I was too busy kissing his mouth, tasting every inch of him to pay much attention. 

Our lips separated as I peeled off his shirt and I tasted the sweet saltiness of his skin in my mouth, on my tongue. Senses whirling, heart pounding hard enough to make me feel faint, I couldn’t get enough of him. 

His hands moved down to the hem of my shirt and tried to lift it up, but I pulled back, breathing hard. 

“Wait.” I put a hand on his bare, warm chest. “Wait.”

He stopped, his eyes wide. “What?”

“I want to do it.” I scooted to the edge of the bed and put my feet on the smooth wooden floor. 

He looked a little lost, but I directed him to lie down in the middle of the bed, and he did as instructed, although he still appeared confused. 

I liked that look on him. 

Not being sexually experienced, crazy dreams aside, it was nice to be the one in control. Taking advantage of my position at the foot of the bed, I pulled the shirt over my head and let it slither to the floor. The hair tie fell off and my hair cascaded down to my shoulders. 

He watched me, his eyes hooded, head pillowed on his arms as I slipped out of my jeans, having to do a little shimmy to get them off my hips. I was grateful I chose to wear a matching underwear set, a lacy lavender bra and panties that left little to the imagination. Trying hard not to think about Nobuki, I pulled off the scarf around my neck, trusting the shadows to hide the bruises. 

“Wow,” whispered Julian as he sat up on his elbows. “You’re gorgeous.”

I drank in his admiration, growing bolder in the moonlight streaming through the open windows, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. I crept up the bed, my eyes on him and the obvious sign of his arousal through his jeans. 

My hair blanketed us from the light and I fed from his lips, my hands roving over his chest and then settling on the zipper of his jeans. My throat hurt, but I didn’t care. A little pain was nothing compared to the pleasure I was experiencing. 

I kissed my way down his bare chest, and he sucked in a sudden breath as I licked a long line down his stomach, letting out a shaky laugh as I popped the button of his fly. 

It occurred to me I was kind of imitating the scene in my dream that afternoon, the one with me performing fellatio on Nobuki, but then all thought fled my mind as I slid his jeans off and took his throbbing cock in my hand. 

He was large, with girth, and I took a deep breath of his salty warm skin, putting little kisses along the length of his manhood. 

He drew in a quick breath, his hands tightening in my hair, keeping it out of the way as I opened my mouth and took him between my lips. 

He groaned low and I took that as encouragement, wanting to do more, work harder, but the bruises made my movements more tentative, not as forceful. 

“Stop,” I heard him say and he pulled on my hair, bringing me up short. 

The slight sharp sensation made my nerves sing, not necessarily with unwanted pain and I drew back on my haunches, the taste of him still heavy in my mouth. 

He was breathing hard. “I don’t want to come. Not yet.”

I smiled. “But I was enjoying myself.”

And that was the genuine truth. It was fascinating to have a man stretched out before me, for me to do as I pleased. I was mildly surprised at the heretofore undiscovered longing for mild domination. 

“My turn now,” he said. “And I am going to have so much fun with you.”

He pulled me down and rolled over and I was flat on my back, my head resting along the edge of the mattress. 

He kissed me deeply, despite the fact that I still tasted like him. His hands drifted over my bra straps, pushing them down, forcing the cups under my rather pitifully sized breasts. 

But the look in his ocean eyes as he watched me and licked my breasts, his teeth nipping at the skin, made me feel beautiful and I basked in his adoration. 

His hands made their way down to my panties and he started to tug them past my thighs. 

It stopped me short and I made a sound of consternation, embarrassed. 

I hadn’t washed down there since the afternoon, when I had grown wet from that explicit dream. 

“Wait,” I whispered and he looked up at me. 

“Why?”

I felt my face heat. “Because…it might smell…”

He laughed and nipped at my thigh, making me jump. 

“Julian, please—”

But all my protests died as his tongue licked one long line up my clit. My hands fisted into the sheets as the exquisite sensation rode through me. 

“Oh my God,” I whispered, eyes wide, staring at the white ceiling.

“I think you taste delicious.” He did the same thing again and a soft whimper left my lips. “So stop complaining and stay still.”

As if I could, with his tongue lashing at my cunt, with his mouth clamping around that sensitive spot and sucking softly but thoroughly, forcing my hips off the bed as I jerked against his insistent, incessant mouth. 

I wanted to get away. 

I couldn’t get close enough. 

It was worse when he anchored my hips down to the bed with his forearm against my pelvis and did something with his tongue and teeth along my clitoris. I came, climaxing so hard I saw stars. 

There was nothing in my head, just an infinite whiteness. I felt Julian come up the bed, his hands on either side of my head. 

I was shaking, still in the throes of that incredible climax, but I had enough strength to draw his head down, to taste myself thick on his tongue. I whimpered, my cunt convulsing, knowing it had been satisfied, but aware that there was still something else, something even better than before. 

“Thank you,” I gasped against his mouth. “I’ve never…”

He shut me up with another deep kiss that left me gasping for breath. “So what do we do?”

My heart pounded hard against my chest. “What do you mean, what do we do?”

He looked pointedly down at his member and, even from where I was, I could see it hard and thick along his belly. 

“Oh,” I said faintly. “I…”

He tilted my chin back up to meet his serious gaze. “We could. I want you. I think you want me. But if this happens…you can’t say otherwise the next morning. If this happens, it happens and we have to admit it.”

I took a deep, shuddering breath, my belly still quivering from the climax he gave me. “You’re giving me a choice.”

He gave me a perplexed look. “Of course.”

I licked my lips, tasting both of us on my tongue. “I…”

I wanted to say yes. It had been so long since I had a cock inside me and all those dreams, as pleasant as they were, were just dreams.

But…

Could I have sex with Julian? Could I go the last step and fuck him? Even if I was thinking about fucking another man the very next night?

I reached up and kissed Julian on the cheek. 

That was answer enough and he drew back with a sigh. “Damn me and my good manners.”

I laughed. “It might happen tomorrow night.” 

He grunted. “Can’t say I’m happy to be considered second place.”

“I was kidding, Julian.” I sat up, feeling the sea salt caress my naked body. “You’re not second place. You are never second, so please don’t say that. If Nobuki turns me down, I’ll give up. I’m not going to give myself to you with another guy on my mind. You deserve better than that.”

He grumbled and I went about collecting my clothes from the floor. 

“The shower is over there, by the closet door,” he said. 

When I stepped into the shower stall and let the hot water run over my skin, I was just a bit disappointed that he didn’t join me. 

Toweling off my damp hair, I met him in the hallway. 

He looked at me, and my belly quivered at the heat in his eyes. 

“Bet you’re wondering why I didn’t join you in the shower.”

I had to avoid his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He pulled the towel out of my hands and threw it over a chair before putting his mouth against mine. He tasted like mint. 

“If I ended up taking a shower with you, we’d never leave the house,” he whispered hoarsely, his lips inches from mine. “I need to give you space. Let you decide what you want to do. Let you figure out who you want more.”

My hands tightened on Julian’s broad shoulders. “Julian, you deserve better than me.”

“Well, then, it’s too damn bad I want you.” He pulled away. “I should take you back.”

So it was with some reluctance I clambered back into the SUV and let Julian drive the hour back to the hotel. Although, now that I knew he was going to have to drive an hour back to his house, I felt very guilty about leaving when we arrived at the hotel. 

“I feel terrible about making you drive back home. That’s another hour ride,” I said. 

“Don’t worry,” he replied. “I’ve got a room at the Marriott.” 

The Marriott was right next to our hotel, so I felt marginally better. “Oh, that’s not too bad.”

He grinned. “It is a few parking lots away, though. Dunno if I can stand to make the trip. If it makes you feel better, how about I just stay with you?”

I did think about that for a while, leaning against the car door, watching him through the open window. 

But in the end, I shook my head reluctantly. “No. I should go.”

The corners of his lips twisted down. “Ah well. Can’t fault a guy for trying.”

I smiled. “Thanks for tonight.”

He nodded. “You’ll think about my offer?”

“I will definitely give it a lot of thought,” I said truthfully. “Thank you, Julian.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled. “See you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

He left, and I kept waving even after he disappeared from view.