33
Once Wes left the sitting room, Eva was lost in thought, staring out of her mother’s front window, watching the snow falling to the ground, crisp, clean, and beautiful.
She blinked slowly, picturing the face of the man who had been her everything. She loved Harrison with all of her heart, save for the one piece that would forever belong to Daniel Lane.
Eva wiped away tears and glanced over her shoulder when she heard the faint sound of laughter and the closing of a door. She had to give Wes his due. He’d stood his ground, never wavering. He’d spoken articulately—save for a few curses—and showed unquestionable love and protective loyalty for Katherine. Eva wasn’t lying when she told Wes she hadn’t wanted to see the love between them. It’s what scared her most.
Her daughter was head over heels in love with Wes Carter. It was a love that many never found and no one could ever extinguish. It was a love that was far-reaching, powerful, and all-consuming. Eva could see it in Kat’s eyes when she looked at him and when she glared at Eva in his defense. It was the same look Eva had given her father innumerable times when she’d first introduced Danny to the family.
Eva wanted nothing more than for Katherine to be loved in passionate, breathtaking ways. She wanted her consumed by love, desperate with it, unafraid to be made fragile by it, and filled with its strength. She wanted her to soar and spin and lose herself in a man who would love her just as much. She wanted it all for Katherine, and Katherine had it. But Wesley Carter couldn’t be further from the man Eva had imagined.
After hearing his confession, her anxiety about the relationship had dropped considerably. The man had saved her baby, for God’s sake. When he’d been only eleven years old. She was grateful beyond description, but the momma bear within her refused to back down.
She wandered into the kitchen to find her mother and partner seated at the table. Two bottles of wine sat opened, as well as a bottle of Jameson. Her mother’s face was softer now.
“Hey,” Eva said softly. “Where is—?”
“She’s outside with Wes while he has a much-needed cigarette and a drink.” Her mother sighed. “Come. Sit down.”
Eva approached Harrison with a heavy stomach. It was love. It was guilt. It was embarrassment. It was apology. She sat down slowly and stared at his profile. Dark stubble flecked his jaw, and his dark brown eyes were troubled as they stared down at the glass of malt whiskey in his hands. They had so many things that needed to be said, but Katherine was her priority. She needed to make things right.
Eva glanced hesitantly at the back door.
“Tell her how you feel,” Harrison said, his eyes still fixed on the table.
“I don’t know how,” she confessed.
“Yes, you do.”
“We’re so far apart.”
“You’ll find each other again. Be honest.” He pulled off his hoodie and handed it to her. “It’s cold out there.”
Eva took it from him with a grateful smile. “I’m sorry, Harrison. And I love you. Very much.”
“I know,” he answered, looking at her for the first time.
She leaned forward and placed a tender kiss at the corner of his mouth. He turned in to it with a sigh. “Go,” he urged softly.
Reggie’s nails tapped happily against the floor as he followed Eva to the door. She dragged on Harrison’s hoodie—loving the smell and how it drowned her small frame—and slowly pulled the door open. Her eyes immediately found two closely huddled bodies sitting on the porch step.
Wes had his arm around her daughter while his lips murmured soft, inaudible words against her temple. The air smelled of smoke and cold. The door clicked shut behind her, causing Wes to turn.
Eva dipped her chin in acknowledgment before Wes did the same. Katherine looked over her shoulder, her expression indecipherable.
Wes kissed Katherine’s cheek and smiled. “I’ll give you two a moment,” he said before he stood, moving around Eva to the door.
“Thank you, Wes,” she said.
The door shut behind him, and Eva swallowed before she tentatively stepped toward her daughter. “May I sit?”
“If you want.”
Gathering her courage, Eva took the spot at Katherine’s side. For a few minutes, the two women sat in silence. How could she verbalize the love she had for her daughter? No mother ever could. It was vast, immeasurable, and impossible to label with inadequate words.
“Katherine,” Eva started quietly, petrified of saying the wrong thing. “I’m thankful you’re both here.”
Katherine remained quiet. Eva couldn’t read the profile of her face except for the small twitch of her lip. Danny would get the same thing when he was nervous. To think she made her own daughter feel that way ripped her heart in two.
“I wanted to apologize to you.” A heavy breath escaped her, and she closed her eyes. “I love you very much, sweetheart, and I want us to go back to the way things were. I hate fighting with you.”
“We’re never going to be the way we were, Mom. Too much has happened.”
Eva fought down the alarm rising at the back of her throat. “I … I understand if you don’t want to try.”
Blazing green eyes met hers. “It’s not that I don’t want to try, Mom. It’s the fact you can’t bear to be in the same room as the man I love. Carter and I come as a package now. If you can’t deal with that, then there’s no hope for us to ever go back to how we used to be.”
Eva fisted her hands together, willing her misgivings and distrust down into her stomach. “I understand.”
“No,” Katherine countered. “You don’t.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Just because he told you about saving me doesn’t mean you understand what Carter and I are to one another.”
“Then explain it to me,” Eva urged. She wanted to understand. Needed to.
Katherine answered without hesitation. “I love him more than I could ever explain.” Her voice never wavered in its fervency. “He understands me, he keeps me safe, and he loves me, too.”
“I know he does.” Love like that was undeniable.
“He’s honest, sensitive, and one of the bravest men I’ve ever known. And I want to be with him for the rest of my life.”
Although Eva’s heart gave a panicked thump, Katherine’s words really didn’t surprise her. Of course she wanted to be with him forever. He was her other half, just as Danny had been Eva’s. How could she deny her daughter the one thing she’d wanted for her since the day she was born?
“How does that make you feel, Mom? How does it make you feel that someday that man in there, whom you regard so hatefully, will be my husband, the father of your grandchildren?”
Eva pushed her hands under her arms and stared out at the gardens, picturing her grandchildren running about the trees and flowers. She saw Katherine in a simple white gown with wildflowers in her hair, walking with Harrison down a path of white magnolias toward Wes, who would no doubt look devastatingly handsome in a black suit and white shirt unbuttoned at the neck.
It seemed so simple, so natural. And, in that moment, Eva knew it was inevitable. “It makes me feel terrified.” The confession slipped from her lips in a whisper.
“Why?” Katherine demanded. “Why does the thought of my being happy scare you so damned much?”
Eva stared at her daughter, beautiful, strong, and determined. “It terrifies me because you’re not my little girl anymore.” She moved closer and moved Katherine’s hair from her shoulder so that it spilled gloriously down her back.
“I’ve made some very bad choices during my life, not least the ones regarding how to handle your career and man choice, and for that I’m truly sorry. But please believe that when you have children of your own, you’ll know exactly what that means. I would walk into hell and take on Satan with my bare hands if anyone threatened to hurt you. A mother protects her children no matter the consequences, whether they’re five or twenty-five.”
She cupped Katherine’s face. “After your father died, knowing that my only connection to him was you scared the life out of me. I wanted to keep you even more protected, away from anything or anyone who could take you from me.” Her eyes filled with tears when Katherine’s face nestled into her palm.
“It’s not an excuse for my behavior. And I never meant to hurt you, or smother you. You’re so much stronger than I am, and I don’t give you enough credit for that. I’m sorry. I know it’ll take time for you to trust me again. I just hope you can. It’s hard for me to let go for so many reasons, but I want you to be safe and happy, Katherine. That’s all your father and I ever wanted.”
“I know, Mom,” she croaked. “I am. I’m happy with Carter.”
Eva kissed her daughter’s forehead softly. “I know, sweetheart. I know.” Leaving all of her hope in Katherine’s hands, Eva stood up. “I’ll send Carter back out so you’re not alone.”
“Mom?”
She turned slowly, her hand on the door. “Yes, love?”
“I’m sorry—and I love you, too.”