It quickly became apparent to Mitch that some of the people there struggled with the concept of happy singleness more than others. And, strangely enough, it had nothing to do with age. There were a couple young people at the study who seemed as at peace with being single as some of the older ones were.
As Mitch listened to the discussion, he realized there was still a lot he had to learn from them. He’d tried to tell himself that he was content being single. That he was fine waiting. Sure, he had moments of impatience, but he’d felt that overall, he was okay with waiting for God’s time for marriage and a family.
However, he wasn’t so sure now. In addition to the impatience, there was a slow burn of anger inside him. Anger that even though he was the one out of all his siblings who’d wanted marriage and family the most, it seemed he was destined to be the last to find love. Anger that when he finally did find a woman that he’d connected with more than any other, she’d rather have him just as a friend.
He tried to live a responsible life, one centered around his faith. He worked hard at his job and treated his employees fairly, never expecting more from them than he was willing to give himself. He treated everyone with respect, cherishing friends and family.
Still. It was never enough.
Mitch hunched his shoulders, his hands holding his mug between his knees. He knew that he didn’t need a relationship to validate who he was. He didn’t need a woman to love him in order to prove that he was a good man. A good person. But how did he get that knowledge from his head to his heart?
This struggle wasn’t something he’d voiced to anyone. Oh, his family knew that he wanted a family of his own, but they didn’t know how much he was struggling with the waiting. The not knowing if his day would ever come. Just because it was something his heart longed for didn’t mean it was going to happen.
He was well aware that sometimes what God wanted for a person’s life might be quite different from what that person might want. Was that the case for him? Was his desire for a family different from what God had planned for him? And just how was he supposed to know if that was the case? Would it finally sink in on his deathbed when he was still alone?
Verses about contentment flipped through Mitch’s mind, even as the man leading the study also quoted one. He sighed, wishing he could douse the anger that burned inside him. There was no place for it in his heart. In his life.
After the leader had closed the meeting, Mitch got to his feet. Others lingered in their seats chatting, but Denise got up to join him.
As they put their cups on the tray to be washed, Denise asked, “Do you want to go out for coffee? Chat?”
Mitch glanced over at her, then gave a quick shake of his head. “Not tonight. I’ve got a busy week ahead. A couple of really big projects on the go.”
Denise slipped her arm around his waist and gave him a quick hug. “Take care of yourself. Give me a call if you need to talk.” She paused and gave him a grin. “And I’ll text you the info on the wedding.”
“Right. You do that.” Mitch returned her hug, then took a few minutes to chat with a couple other people before heading out.
The sky was still streaked with sunset colors, and the air held just enough warmth to make it comfortable. It would have been a wonderful night out at the family’s cabin at Hecla. Maybe he’d head out there in a weekend or two. In a little over a month, they’d be having their big family and friends weekend out at the cabin. It was an event that was growing larger every year.
The family was growing. Their circle of friends continued to grow. And this time the family would be gathering without the strife that had been present in previous years. Kenton and Bennett had finally dealt with whatever had driven a wedge between them. It would be a great time for the family, especially with their mom doing so much better now.
As he drove to his apartment, Mitch wondered if Maya would take it upon herself to invite her new friends. She already fit so well into the family, opening her arms and heart to anyone. No one would tell her that she couldn’t invite them if she wanted to. The more, the merrier. That had always been his parents’ motto.
All he knew was that he couldn’t be the one to invite Belle and her family, and for the sake of his heart, he kind of hoped that Maya didn’t either. Having Belle come that far into his life would make it even harder to overcome his feelings for her.
For a moment, he considered trying to push things with Bella. To take her on romantic dates. To give her cards filled with loving words. To woo her with flowers. Unfortunately, he had a feeling that would just result in her avoiding him altogether. If there was even a remote chance of a future together, it would be because she wanted it. Because she saw the type of man he truly was and trusted him with her heart.
Pushing her to recognize those things about him would do no good, and even as that thought came to him, Mitch realized that he was at a crossroads. Did he continue to spend time with her knowing full well that it might not lead anywhere, or did he keep himself distant, dealing with her only in a professional capacity? That would mean no more dinners out with her, even if they were proposed under the guise of friendship and business. No more hanging around the reno on the off-chance she might show up.
It wasn’t until he was lying in his bed later that Mitch came to his decision about what to do with his interactions with Belle. He wasn’t going to avoid her—which not going to the reno site at all the next day would have been—but he also wasn’t going to seek her out. And if he could possibly get away with it, there would be no more dinners for two. Lunch, possibly, or better yet, he could meet her at her office, or she could come to his. It was the only choice that his heart seemed willing to accept. A middle ground, of sorts, that would keep his heart from getting any more wrapped up in Belle than it already was, but it also gave her the chance to see him for the type of man he was.
Gabe would tell him to be more aggressive—to not just sit back and wait for things to happen—but that was Gabe’s M.O., not Mitch’s. All their life, Gabe had always rushed headlong into things, eager to embrace each and every adventure that had come his way. Sometimes Mitch would follow him, always about ten steps behind, waiting to see if Gabe proved that it was safe. But more often than not, Mitch had let Gabe run on ahead. He had just waited for him to return and then listened to all the stories Gabe had to share from his great adventures.
Mitch sometimes felt jealous that he couldn’t live his life with the same abandon as Gabe did. It made him feel weak, like he was less of a man because he was unable to set aside the caution that prevented him from being more like Gabe. More like his twin.
So while Gabe might have charged forward with some plan of how to romance Belle until she just had no chance of saying anything but yes, that wasn’t Mitch, and it never would be. If he’d thought doing it Gabe’s way would work, he might have considered at least trying, but he didn’t believe that this was the time to step out of his comfort zone…out of respect for Belle.
If that made him weak, then so be it.
Belle shoved a load of laundry into the dryer, then gathered up her things and left the apartment. She’d told herself that she shouldn’t rush to get to the reno site. After all, she had all day to get there. Still, it was just after ten, and she was already backing her car out from her assigned parking spot and heading downtown. She would run her errands once she was done at the building. It just made sense.
Sort of.
Given that the rush hour was over, it didn’t take too long to get to the renovation site. She spotted a C&M truck parked on the street in front of the building, and she pulled in behind it. At least it appeared that Mitch was still there.
After grabbing her hard hat from the trunk, Belle headed inside. The sounds of the men working seemed to be louder and more varied than usual. Electric saws. Hammering. The thud of an air nail gun. Voices calling out over the din.
Though she usually loved silence, Belle found that in this instance the noises were welcome. They were the sounds of a future she was becoming more and more excited about. As she looked around, she saw in her mind the areas Mitch had identified on Saturday. She found that she could picture certain colors in each area in a way she hadn’t been able to before.
She pulled her phone out and without venturing any further into the building, began to make notes. She didn’t want to wait until she got home for fear that she’d lose the thoughts that were in her mind. Early on, she’d learned to capture ideas as they came to her because if she didn’t, they were likely to slip away in the mess of thoughts that seemed to be ever-present in her head.
“Good morning, Belle.”
Belle glanced up and smiled at Mitch as he came close, then looked back down at her phone, tapping rapidly to capture the final thought. When she straightened, she gave him another smile. “Good morning. Sorry. I just had some paint color ideas come to me and didn’t want to let them go.”
“That’s good. You don’t want those to slip away.”
“No. Definitely not.” She turned to face the room at large. “It’s looking so good.”
“I’m glad you can see past the mess to the progress we’re making. Sometimes it’s hard for people to do that.”
“I had a hard time with that at first, but it’s getting easier.” She glanced back at him. “So show me what’s been done in the last week.”
Mitch’s smile brought out the dimples in his cheeks. “Sure thing. Let’s start at the back.”
Belle enjoyed the tour of the changing room area. While their current location had two separate areas for brides to change into their dresses and then come out to show their entourage, the new location would have four. Each area was large with a spacious room for the bride to change in, and then the area outside the changing room would hold a raised circular stand in front of a selection of comfortable chairs. And of course, there would be mirrors. Lots of mirrors.
The partitions for the areas as well as the rooms were in place now, some of them already covered in sheetrock. It was amazing to see everything taking shape visit after visit.
When they’d realized they had to move the business, it had been like a cloak of stress had settled on Belle. With her mom in Europe, she’d known that she’d have to be the one to deal with it all. It had slowly been sucking out what little life she’d had left. The whole process had seemed daunting to her. A challenge that she hadn’t been sure she was up to.
Then Maya had shown up for an appointment with her brother-in-law-to-be in tow. Belle hadn’t realized it then, but that meeting would change things completely for her. Because through Mitch, she’d met Tristan and Cassidy, and the three of them had each had a significant role in bringing this new location to life. Tristan and Cassidy were done with their parts now, but Mitch…he was still there. He was the one bringing it all to life.
She felt a light touch on her back and turned to find Mitch watching her.
His brow was furrowed, a concerned look on his face. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I was just thinking back to earlier this year. I never would have imagined being at this point in the relocation process.”
The pressure of his hand on her back increased slightly then dropped away. “That’s a good thing, right? I mean, if you have any concerns, you can always tell us.”
“It’s a really good thing,” Belle hurried to assure him.
“Let’s go have a look upstairs,” Mitch said with a nod of his head then smiled. “That might be an even better thing.”
There was no railing on the new staircase leading to the second floor, and Mitch again placed his hand on her upper back as they climbed the unfinished stairs. Once they had reached the upper floor, they paused to look out the window. It was a cloudless day, and the water on the river sparkled in the sunlight.
“Come see the view from your office,” Mitch urged, then led her to a landing that looked down over the foyer though it still lacked a railing. As they got to a doorway, he said, “This is the conference room.”
Belle peeked inside. It was still unfinished, but at one end of the long room, the windows again ran floor to ceiling. As elsewhere in the building, here, too, she could see the potential.
There was a short hallway and then another opening that would one day be covered with a door. Last time she’d visited, there hadn’t been walls in place yet. But now…her office.
Mitch led the way into the room and then stepped back to allow her to see how it looked. Again, there were windows and a beautiful view of the sparkling water.
“The windows here are reflective so you can see out, but no one can see in. It’s the same with the ones in the conference room.”
Belle walked around the room, letting her fingers drift just above the dusty surface of the boards on the wall. Paint would give them a different texture. Her fingertips slid across the glass, lightly, so as not to leave smudges. Soon, the beauty that lay beyond the window would be hers to enjoy every day.
She found that she could hardly wait.
Impulsively, Belle turned and wrapped her arms around Mitch. She knew she’d taken him off-guard. In truth, she’d taken herself off-guard. He didn’t hug her back, but then she didn’t give him a chance. Almost immediately, she released him but gripped his upper arms.
“I don’t think you know how grateful I am for everything you’ve done.” She looked up at him, determined in what she needed him to know. “Maybe to you it’s just been a job, but to me, hiring you—your company—has been so much more than just having someone to do a job. You took a load of stress off me, and now everything is looking so much more amazing than I ever thought it would. Than I ever imagined it could. Thank you.”
Emotion flickered briefly across Mitch’s face, but he didn’t say anything. She felt his muscles flex beneath her hands as his fingers clasped the back of her arms, just above her elbows. They stood there for what felt like an eternity. It was the closest Belle had been to a man in…years. Since Andre. But this felt nothing like it had with him.
Belle found herself wanting to raise her hands, to touch his cheeks. To feel the scruff beneath her fingertips. To feel the indentation of his dimples. To have him smile at her with affection.
But no. That wasn’t what she was destined to have in her life. It wasn’t what she really wanted. It was just an emotional response.
Mitch must have seen something in her expression because his hands fell to his sides, releasing her. Her fingers slipped away from his arms, and she took a step back, swallowing the emotion rising in her throat. What had started out as thankfulness and appreciation had become…more.
And she just couldn’t handle that.
Turning to look at the room again, she said, “I think I’ll have this room painted a soft shade of lavender. Maybe just one wall, though. The others will be ivory. Maybe. I’ll have to look at the swatches again now that I’ve seen the room.”
“I’m sure it will look lovely,” Mitch replied, his voice steady. Thankfully, he appeared to be unmoved by the moment they’d shared. Maybe he knew not to read anything into it.
She’d already made it clear there was no relationship in her future. That nothing between them would ever be considered a date. It was a decision she’d had no trouble sticking with. She didn’t need a man or a relationship. Her job. The business. Her family. That was all she really needed. She found gratification in each of them, even though they did come with some stress and irritation at times.
They left the room in silence and headed back out onto the landing and down the stairs. When they reached the foyer, Mitch said, “Do you want to see the sewing and employee area in the basement? It’s not quite as far along as these floors though. We’ve had to wait for the electrician to come in and run wires since that space hadn’t been used for anything but storage.”
“Maybe I’ll wait for next time,” Belle said, giving him a smile that she hoped looked normal. “What I’ve seen today looks great.”
Mitch didn’t reply right away, but then a small smile curved the corners of his mouth. “Every day it looks better and better.”
“How long until you need my decision on the paint colors?” Belle asked.
“The end of the week should be fine. Just send me an email with the area names and what you’ve decided for colors. With that information, we’ll be able to determine how much paint we’ll need.”
“I’m going to get Jasmine to help me. I wanted to hire an interior designer, but Jazz has ideas about how she wants things. I know she’ll have opinions on colors.”
“If she needs to come have a look around, just let me know. Maybe we can arrange to all meet after hours when the guys are gone.”
Belle frowned at his suggestion. He’d never made that offer to her. “Uh, sure. I’ll check with Jazz and let you know what time works best.”
“I’m available most evenings, but not Wednesday or Friday.” He hesitated. “And possibly not Sunday. Not sure yet.”
“Okay,” Belle said with a nod as she reached for the door. “See you then.”
It didn’t escape Belle’s notice that Mitch didn’t walk her to the car like he normally did. Had she messed everything up with her out-of-the-blue reaction to the gratitude she’d felt? All she’d wanted was a friendship with him, but now, it seemed like maybe all she’d done was make things awkward between them.
Letting out a sigh as she pulled away from the curb, Belle looked into her rear-view mirror and tried to tell herself it meant nothing that Mitch wasn’t standing there watching her drive away.