Chapter 2
Emerson
I watched the door close behind Ace but remained where I was, silent tears rolling down my face. I wasn't sure how much longer I could continue doing what we were doing. Each time it got harder, and it was tearing me up inside, especially when he handed me the money afterwards, paying me for my services, as if I were a prostitute. I'd never once asked him for money, and I had to wonder if he gave it to me because it was easier for him to think of me in that way.
It was my fault for taking it and not setting him straight, but in the beginning I’d been shocked speechless, and by the time I’d found my words it was too late and he was gone.
The truth was, I was in love with him, and had been for a long time. For years I'd watched him grab a different woman almost every night and take her out back to fuck or to get a blowjob. And then one night he'd looked at me, really looked at me, as if he were seeing me for the first time, and not just as the curvy woman who worked behind the bar. As I'd been getting ready to leave at the end of my shift he'd grabbed my hand and pulled me out back, and I'd let him with my heart in my throat and barely a breath, foolishly thinking that finally this was my chance to be with him.
He'd asked me simply, in that sexy, growly voice of his, "Are you good with this?"
I hadn't been a hundred percent sure what he'd meant, but when he'd pushed me to my knees in front of him I'd figured it out real quick. I wasn't a virgin, I'd been with a couple of men, but most of my knowledge about sex came from the dirty romance novels I liked reading. So with that in mind, I'd set my mind to giving Ace the best blowjob of my life, eagerly and willingly, and I'd loved every second of it.
It had turned out that he'd loved it, too, because soon after that he'd stopped dragging those other women out back. When he was in the mood it was me he came to. I'd been thrilled at first, not confusing his sudden interest with love, but holding out hope that it would one day lead to that, or at something more than a quick blow job in an alley. But as the days had passed, and then the months, I’d soon realized that Ace didn't have it in him to love someone, especially not a woman he thought so little of that she was only good for sucking his dick behind the bar, someone not good enough for kissing, or tenderness, much less dating.
I’d learned early on that he was good at keeping himself detached.
I knew it was just a matter of time before I'd have to call a halt to what we were doing. It was going to kill me giving him up, but I had to move on with my life. As long as I made myself available to Ace, finding someone else was out of the question. I wiped my cheeks, took a deep breath, and went inside.
The first person my gaze fell on when I reentered the bar was Bonnie. She took one look at me, knew my heartache, and gave me a sympathetic smile.
"Honey, it's all over your face," she said as she came up to me. "When are you going to stop this madness?"
She’d asked me that before. "Soon," I replied in a low voice, meaning it this time. A sob escaped me and I covered my mouth with my hand. I glanced around to make sure that no one was witnessing my falling apart.
"Honey, go in the back and wash your face. Pull yourself together. He's still here."
I cast my eyes in the direction towards where Ace and the rest of the Sentinels usually sat. Bonnie was right. He was sitting in the midst of his brothers, drinking and laughing as if my world wasn't crumbling down around me. I did as she suggested and made my way to the back where the employee bathroom and break area was located.
I splashed cold water on my face, staring at my reflection in the cracked mirror. God, I looked like crap. I reached up to try and fix my hair, recalling Ace's hand there, getting frustrated with it and finally letting the heavy ebony tresses fall to my waist. It was almost quitting time, so I decided to just leave it, and went back to the bar.
"Feel better?"
I gave Bonnie a nod.
"Do you mind helping clear the tables so we can get out of here?"
"Sure." I didn't mind helping the servers clean up at the end of the night, leaving Bonnie to take care of the bar.
Most of the tables and booths were empty, but there were still some customers lingering. There always seemed to be those who stayed right up until the last minute. Some of the Sentinels were still around, too, which was usual, since the president of their MC, Tanner, owned the bar. Often they were the last to leave. I grabbed a tray and began clearing the tables of glasses, bottles, and other trash, then wiped them down with a damp towel. The entire time I was working I was painfully aware that Ace was still there, though I doubted he was paying me any mind.
As I made my way closer to where he was, I couldn't help sneaking a peek at him. There were three women in the group that he sat with--Tanner's wife Ruby, and Sid and Mark's girlfriends. They were all beautiful women, and I could tell that their men treated them right. They were attentive, and at times possessive, and I wondered what it felt like to have someone care enough about me that they wanted me all to themselves.
I tried not to look at Ace, afraid that my eyes would give me away. I'd die of humiliation if he or anyone in his circle figured out that I had feelings for him. As far as anyone knew, I was simply a bartender and sometimes server. If they witnessed me going out back with Ace I wouldn't know, and I doubted that he'd told them about what we were doing. God, I hoped not, anyway. I felt like such a slut at times, but it was my own fault. I was willing to take Ace any way I could have him.
"Emerson, honey--"
I turned when I heard Tanner's commanding voice, giving him and only him my attention.
"The ladies are leaving but we're going to stay and play a few rounds of poker. Bring us some glasses and a bottle of tequila."
"The good kind?" I asked with a smile.
"You got it," Tanner responded, giving me a wink.
"Emerson, I haven't seen you with your hair down before," Ruby said before I could leave. "It's absolutely beautiful."
My gaze flickered to Ace long enough to see that he was looking at me. I quickly averted my eyes back to Ruby. "Thanks. I usually keep it up so it won't get in the way."
"Are you working tomorrow?"
I shook my head.
"We have a spa day planned in Orlando; you should come spend the day with us. You work so hard, and I guarantee that you'll feel like a whole new woman afterwards. Nails, waxing, hair, lunch. What do you say?"
"God, it sounds like a day in heaven. I'd love to." I couldn't remember the last time I'd spent a day pampering myself. "What time?"
"Give me your address and we'll pick you up about nine."
I pulled out my pad and jotted down my address as well as my phone number in case something came up. "I'll be ready, thanks." I handed Ruby the note and then spun around to go back to the bar.
"What's up?" Bonnie saw me approaching the bar.
"The guys want the good tequila and some glasses. They're staying for a while."
She nodded and turned to set up a tray for me. By the time I made my way back to their table the girls had gone. I set the large round tray in the center of the table and began to unload it. There were twelve bikers in the Sentinels MC, but only half of them were there tonight. I imagined the other six were out riding the streets of Daytona. I knew enough about what they did to know that they were the good guys, working with the local cops to keep the citizens of our popular oceanside town safe.
If that involved any illegal activities, they kept that on the down low. I'd been privy to a few of their early morning meetings. When it was my turn to come in early to clean I'd purposely worn headphones and listened to music. I didn't want to overhear anything that I wasn't supposed to, and it kept me from being distracted by Ace.
"Anything else before I leave?" My question was meant for everyone, so I made eye contact with everyone except Ace. I wondered if he noticed, or even cared.
"I think we're good, honey."
With a smile, and something to look forward to, I started to turn to leave when Ace's commanding voice pulled me back.
"Emerson‒"
I gave him a look over my shoulder.
"Don't cut your hair."
What? That had been the last thing I’d been expecting to hear come out of his mouth. I could only stare at him silently as shock held me frozen in place. Our eyes locked for a long minute, and what I thought I saw in Ace's warmed my blood with a promise I knew he wouldn't fulfill.
He couldn't possibly know how I felt about him. All he knew was that I took care of his needs a few nights a week. I didn't know how to respond to his comment; it was personal and so out of character for him. I forced myself to look away, saying as I walked away from their table, "I hadn't planned on it."
I didn't want him to think that anything he had to say would sway me one way or the other. He already had enough power over me. But deep down, I was thrilled by his demand.