Ash had never felt so thoroughly spoiled. After a night of deliciously greasy pizza and a fun time playing Carcassonne, he’d sunk into a sleep fit for a king.
He woke refreshed, as if the soft pillows had massaged the weight of the world off his shoulders.
He practically melted under the hot pressure of a delicious shower. Fruity steam billowed around him as he helped himself to bodywash and shampoo.
He felt like a new person when he arrived back at Silver Pines.
A man who could handle any truth.
Bring it on.
Chucky purred around his feet, and happily trotted with him out of the crypt. Ash had always thought she loved being an indoor cat, but seeing her scamper in Lester’s garden made him realize Chucky had been missing out.
Ash helped Ben open the store with Chucky purring around their ankles.
She followed them inside too. Splayed herself in a shaft of sunlight on top of the counter.
“She’s making herself at home,” River said smugly.
Ash rolled his eyes. But he was grinning too.
“Lester’s letters to you,” he asked. “The chest is locked.”
River pulled his wallet from his back pocket and retrieved a small, flat key from a zipped compartment. “Most valuable thing in here.”
He pressed the key into Ash’s palms, fingers drifting over his inner wrist as he slowly pulled back.
Ash was powerless to turn away from River. He clutched the key so tight the serrated edge cut into his skin.
Apparently he could handle anything today except his ever-increasing attraction to River.
The store phone rang, and River busied himself in taking the call.
Ash distractedly set up a ladder, climbed to the top shelf, and opened the chest on the top rung. Stacks of letters bundled with string filled it.
He stared at them.
River was standing on the other side of the counter conversing about accounts, orders, and stocktaking.
The kind authority in River’s tone hooked him, and he wanted to understand how River ran Silver Pines. He tried to imagine himself being that cool and classy on the phone.
River mentioned titles of books Ash had never heard of, reminding him of his place. Ash could clean shelves and organize books alphabetically.
But he couldn’t hold a conversation about any of them.
When River hung up, Ash took one bundle of letters and returned the chest to the shelf. He caught River marking something in a book with a small smile of satisfaction.
Ash wanted to smile like that too. “Have you read all these books?”
River whipped his head up. “Even if I wanted to, that’d be impossible.”
“What about the books you were talking about over the phone?”
“I’ve read one of them. The others I have summaries for, and Lester’s instruction to search for more vintage copies.” River rounded the counter toward the ladder as he spoke, stopping in front of him.
Being four rungs up put River eyelevel with Ash’s hips. An . . . intriguing position.
Ash gulped down images of River zipping his jeans down, drawing out his hardening cock, and sucking it into his hot mouth.
Books. Books. Books.
River leaned forward—
“What are you doing?” Ash gasped, startling River.
A clang sounded and a metal bar on the side of the ladder clicked into the safety notch.
River gave a worried shake of his head. “I can’t always be there to catch you if you fall.”
Oh. Ash laughed at himself. “I’m clueless. Even if I wanted to run Lester’s legacy, I wouldn’t be qualified.”
River reached out and hooked a finger at the waist of his jeans. The side of his finger swept around the curve of his hip. “Come down.”
Ash’s pulse ticked faster. He tried not to feel disappointed when River’s finger disappeared. “Why?”
“I can show you how this works. You don’t have to have read everything. I’ll teach you to categorize books. Show you shortcuts to help you understand the secret of selling at Silver Pines.”
That jolted hope through him. Maybe it wasn’t such a stretch of the imagination to believe he could run this store? River would be there to show him the way.
It wasn’t two hundred grand, but it’d be a better living than cleaning full-time.
He let out a shaky breath. “Show me how to run the store.”
* * *
River showed Ash through all Silver Pines processes.
At midday, River made another call, and Ash excused himself for some fresh air. Before he knew it, he found himself outside Zeros café.
It was an extravagance but Ash was determined to pay back River’s kindness. When he returned to Silver Pines carrying sandwiches and cappuccinos, River was finishing with a customer, neatly wrapping books in brown paper and string.
Ash admired the skillful efficiency he showed tying and snipping the string, all while engaging the male customer in genuine book-related conversation. The smile River gave the man as he passed on the parcels had Ash gripping his coffee so hard the lid popped off.
He set down their lunch on the edge of the counter and refitted it.
What was his problem? River was allowed to flirt. One night in his home made it clear River wasn’t the twin Ben had any interest in, and—
It wasn’t his business. This male customer cheekily grinning back at River was a far more appropriate match. Classy too. He obviously read books. Probably had both time and inclination to be with River. If that’s what River wanted.
Ash watched the man leave.
“Why are you scowling?” came River’s voice, close to his side.
Ash hid behind a gulp of coffee. “Is he your type?”
A flash of amusement hit River’s eyes. “Is this coffee for me? I really need it.”
“The sandwich too. Thanks for getting pizza last night.”
River took a considering sip. “You didn’t have to buy lunch, but it’s very kind of you.”
Ash shrugged like it was no big deal he had to scrounge in his wallet for the last three cents. “You’re welcome.”
“Jealousy is a fascinating look on you.”
Ash spat out his coffee. Luckily most of it landed on his lid. He grabbed a napkin and clumsily mopped it up.
“It was just a question.” Ash tempered the lie with a frisson of truth. “Maybe I was a little surprised? It’s twelve o’clock on a Thursday and he has the luxury to shop?”
River opened his sandwich, one eye on Ash, full of disbelief. “Right. You’ll have to get used to it. A lot of his type walk in here mid-week.”
Ash gave up the pretense and threw his soggy napkin in the trashcan.
“Fine, I was jealous of him. It was ridiculous but it will be fleeting. Are we good?”
* * *
Are we good?
They should be. There had been acknowledgement of attraction and confirmation that it wasn’t serious on Ash’s part. Exactly what River had thought.
Exactly why he should be congratulating himself for holding his promise to Lester.
He rolled off a disappointed shiver. “We’re good. We all fall victim to the green-eyed monster from time to time.”
Ash rested his ass against the counter. “Some more than others.” He flashed River a sheepish smile and glanced toward Lester’s alabaster window. “I’m jealous of you too.”
River waggled cocky brows. “Few wouldn’t be.”
Ash’s laugh simmered warmly between them. “I mean, reading your letters . . . I wish I’d been the one writing with Lester.”
Ah.
He grabbed a white sheet of paper from the cabinet under the counter.
“What are you doing?” Ash asked, frowning quizzically.
River picked up a pen and wrote a few lines. Folded the paper, walked to the mailbox, and slipped it in. He raised the little red flag, meeting Ash’s eye.
He moved back to his spot at the counter. Ash hesitated.
“Are you . . . is this . . .” Ash stole to the mailbox and River’s heart beat hard as he watched Ash open the latch, swiveling it around like Lester used to.
A thousand times, he’d watched Lester take out his letters. Now his grandson was doing it. Never had he been so nervous for a Mallory to unfold his note and read it.
He’d always smirked when Lester had done it. Exchanging notes had been as easy as breathing.
With Ash, it felt new and wondrous.
Breathless.
Ash’s eyes brightened. “Throw me a pen?”
* * *
After another night at River’s, Ash stumbled into the kitchen and tentatively helped himself to a small bowl of cereal.
He’d been on a high since sharing notes with River yesterday. He’d never laughed so much as he had last night. Never felt so alive.
Maybe Danielle had a point about him having fun. Trying new things.
He pulled the milk out of the fridge and shut the door. A magnet popped off the door, and paper drifted to his foot.
He picked it up and swallowed.
It was a list, written in River’s achingly familiar script.
Lester’s Last Requests:
- Continue walking up Shady Height’s hill
- Tend garden!
- Enjoy Lester’s homemade tomato sauce
- Befriend Ash, and help him with Silver Pines
From the beginning, River had been open about why he was helping Ash with Silver Pines. Maybe the lump in his throat was stupid. Still, he couldn’t help it. He’d thought the friend part of what had been growing between them was genuine.
But maybe it wasn’t.
* * *
After another afternoon at Silver Pines, Ash checked his phone. A get-well message from Shelly. He shuddered as he deleted it.
River peered over his shoulder.
“Shelly?”
“I’m a maid with literally not a cent in my wallet. Why does she like me?”
River scoffed, quickly locating Chucky snuggled on the couch in the crypt. Ash took the pill from Lester’s kitchen cabinet. They moved like this was a dance they’d done a thousand times and knew off by heart.
River popped the pill in Chucky’s mouth and gave her a long stroke before letting her go. She immediately tiptoed to Ash and butted her head against his folded knees.
“You can go back to your place without me, you know,” Ash said, petting his cat.
That came out of left field. “Hmm?”
Ash shrugged, not meeting River’s eye. “I’ve encroached enough.”
River got off his knees and poured himself and Ash a glass of water. “What are you talking about?”
Ash took the offered water. He spoke softly. “You don’t have to look after me, River.”
“I want to do something good for you.”
“You want to do something good for me on Lester’s behalf.”
River clutched the glass tightly.
“You don’t have to go out of your way anymore. I can look after myself, you know.”
River had liked using Lester as an excuse to do nice things for Ash. He felt exposed being stripped of his excuse. He downed the water and set the glass in the sink with a tinny smack.
He leaned against the counter and crossed an ankle.
Ash’s gaze tightened in the thickening tension.
“What am I missing here?” River asked.
“I saw your checklist. I’m just a box to tick for you.”
The hurt in Ash’s voice bowled into River. “No.” He pulled Ash to his feet, nocked a finger under his chin. “Shelly likes you because you work hard. You love your sister. You cherish the smallest pleasures. You are grateful and kind. Shelly likes you because you are a beautiful man.”
Ash’s breath shuddered out of him. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying come home with me. You are all those things, and I like all those things.”
* * *
Ash went back to River’s determined to dislodge the joy River’s words brought.
No such luck. It only added to his out-of-control attraction. Worsened the desire.
The second he collapsed onto the guest bed, he wondered if River was doing the same in the next room.
What if they were in the same room? If Ash were sprawled out on River’s bed, naked, languidly stroking himself while River stripped.
What would it be like to come undone in his strong arms? To be thoroughly fucked until all worries bled out of him through mind-numbing pleasure?
He rolled onto his side and cursed into the soft pillow. Fuck, he was so hard.
He squeezed the sheets. It would pass. He could beat the lusty Heartford blood that beat in his veins. He wouldn’t start chasing a man.
He wouldn’t.
* * *
River was lightly snoring, curled up in his bed when Ash knocked on his door. The trail of boots, jacket, and farming clothes meandering from the door to the laundry basket suggested River had been working.
He found the keys to the store and left a message for River to take his time.
Ben gave him a lift to Silver Pines, apologizing that he couldn’t help today. He was filming with Landon.
No problem.
Ash would figure it out.
Pinching the keys in a trembling grip, he unlocked the doors and readied the store for customers as he’d watched River do.
His first customer wandered in at ten o’clock. A glittery-eyed Spanish woman wearing summery dress and strappy shoes.
He donned a smile. “Can I help you with anything?”
“Oh, yes! I have a book held here for Pérez?”
Pérez, Pérez. There! On the reserve shelf, he found a small book with her name on a tag.
He punched in the numbers for the sale and figured out the electronic payment system. A simple task, yet he was sweating like no one’s business. He kept that smile on, determined to fake it. Determined to look the part in case someone important strolled in.
Like River.
He carefully wrapped the book, fumbling a little with the string. Pérez was kind enough to hold her finger on it as he tied the knot. She smiled. “You’re new here.”
“It’s that obvious?” he said, chuckling.
“Nah, you’re doing fine. I’m a regular. Lester and I went way back.”
Way back? How many people his age did Lester go way back with?
She sensed his interest, because she continued, “He once tried to set me up with River.”
“But River’s—”
“Yes. I’ve never seen Lester turn so red.”
“Did he . . . not like that River’s gay?”
She laughed. “God it’s nothing like that. River should never have waited to tell him. Lester felt bad for me, I think. Five years later and still single.”
Ash slid the package over with smile. “You’re charming, Pérez. Must be because you intimidate us men.”
Her mouth quirked with pleased confidence. “Sofía. Are you flirting with me?”
Ash paused. Was he? She seemed lovely, and her curves would have struck an impression a few weeks ago. Would have simmered a gentle, less-obsessive heat through him. Something manageable. Less risky.
Except . . . He hadn’t even a trace of arousal. “Unfortunately not.”
A speck of disappointment pinched her brow, but she shrugged it off. “Unfortunately?”
“Unfortunately.”
She left him her card anyway.
He slipped it into his wallet uneasily. Took out his phone and rang Danielle.
“Kind of a bad time, Ash. Two minutes, go.”
He got right to the point. “Do you crave being with him all the time?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m in love.”
God, no. “It’s not love, Danielle. It never is. You might not remember Mom—”
“Damn, Ash. We’re not all like Mom. Is that why you never have a girlfriend? Because you think you’ll end up obsessed? Heartbroken?”
Why he never had a boyfriend, yes.
“You know what? You need to get over that.”
He let out a slow breath. Next Friday the suits would arrive with the contract for Silver Pines. Danielle was away for another four days. If he was determined to step away from his life for a while, this was the time to do it.
It was his quasi-vacation.
But should he try the things he never allowed himself before?