How the hell had I gotten here? How had I gone from perfectly content, completely in control of every aspect of my life, to fucking Sawyer Ferry Regional Hospital’s newest hire in the on-call room less than twelve hours after he’d started working there?
I didn’t do this shit.
In the midst of blood and organs and life and death, all I’d been thinking about was getting Holden alone. The way he’d handled the situation, without an ounce of hesitation, taking charge and stepping in and doing what needed to be done… there was something undeniably sexy about how capable he was. The image of him taking control of his environment, leading his team, made me hard.
And how fucked-up was that?
I’d known he was a surgeon. I’d known he had to have some decent skills to have gotten through his residency, and Logan had told me how badass he’d been with the splenic laceration. But seeing him in action, gloved up and holding the scalpel… it had snapped Holden into the center of everything, and now he was all I could see.
I’d barely made it through his first day, and now just the sight of him in his scrubs was enough to turn me on. At least we’d hardly ever actually work together. The level of distraction Holden offered was enough to seriously impact patient outcomes.
“Dr. Emerson,” Nadia said as I walked back into the ER. “We’re taking Dr. Prescott out to J’s to commemorate his first day. You in?”
It took me a second to process what she’d asked. I’d been staring at Holden’s ass.
He turned, answering for me. “Considering he’s my ride home, he’s definitely in.”
Truthfully, I didn’t feel like going out. More than anything I wanted to take Holden home and strip him out of those scrubs, but he seemed so thrilled that the staff wanted to hang out with him. Bonding with them was important. They were great people, and I wanted him to feel like he fit in.
“Yep, I’m in,” I confirmed.
Holden beamed at me, and I knew I’d made the right decision.
J’s was quiet when we arrived. Jane was wiping down the counter, but when she saw us walking toward her, she traded it for a couple of glasses, turning them upright and setting them down on the counter.
“I hear congratulations are in order,” Jane said, pouring.
“Word sure travels fast,” Holden said.
“Diana and Conrad stopped in for lunch, and she couldn’t stop gushing about how handsome her replacement was.” She slid the drinks across the bar. “And besides that, not much happens around here that I don’t hear about it five minutes after it happens.”
The others arrived then, the front door whipping open and Logan coming in ahead of Nadia and Dawn. Leslie and Shaun brought up the rear, and within a few minutes, J’s was filled with every employee of SFHR who wasn’t currently on shift.
I couldn’t help but smile at how quickly and seamlessly Holden had seemed to endear himself to everyone in town. It hadn’t been as easy for me. Even with Logan acting as ambassador, it had taken a while for people to warm up to me.
“First round’s on me,” Jane announced, earning herself some excited hollering from her patrons.
Once the drinks were poured, the group raised their glasses and toasted to Holden’s first day and first life saved. Technically, it was his second life, but his first while on the SFRH payroll, and either way, he looked fucking elated to be the center of everyone’s attention.
Craig arrived as Logan was leaving, and Holden stood practically preening himself with pride as Dawn and Nadia recounted the tale of the emergency thoracotomy.
“You shoulda seen it,” Nadia gushed. “The guy’s chest was wide open, right in the trauma room. Dr. Prescott’s hands were in there halfway up his forearms.”
“That is so badass,” Craig said.
“It was,” Dawn agreed.
“Where’d you learn to do that?” Craig asked.
Holden laughed. “Uh… med school?”
He seemed to be trying to downplay the event, but the nurses were having none of it. They reported the whole thing over again for Leslie, who’d been on the phone the first time. I hung back and let them fawn over him. He’d been there a single day and Holden had already clicked into place like he’d lived here for years. There was something about the way he fit in so seamlessly that made me strangely proud.
As the night wore on, the crowd thinned. Most of the staff had early starts in the morning, as did I.
“We should probably get going,” I said, gently tearing Holden away during a break in his conversation with Shaun. He turned to look at me, his eyes glassy, and as they met mine, his smile broadened so wide it made my heart squeeze.
“Okay. Take me home,” he said, his voice a little dreamier than usual.
“I was about to cut him off anyway,” Jane said with a wink.
Holden tossed his arm over my shoulder, the difference in our height making the position a little awkward. I slid my arm around his waist and held him to me. “C’mon. Let’s go.”
He nodded and I half carried him out the door to the truck. He collapsed into the passenger seat and managed to click his seat-belt buckle on the third try as I climbed into the driver’s side. I started the engine and waited for the heat, the blowers almost drowning out the sound of Holden’s teeth chattering.
“Think I’ll ever get used to this cold fucking weather?” he asked.
I chuckled. “Probably not.” I pulled out onto the road and headed for home. The streetlights faded into the distance behind us as I turned onto the old highway. Holden was quiet, and I thought he’d fallen asleep next to me when I heard him mumbling.
“What?” I asked.
“I said thank you for making this happen,” he repeated, a little more clearly this time.
“For getting you drunk?”
With that much alcohol in his system, I’d expected a laugh at my half-assed shot at a joke, but Holden remained serious. “No, for the job, the place to stay, all of it.” The words came out quietly, and I could feel the weight of them.
“I didn’t do anything. This was all Logan.”
“I don’t buy that, and I don’t think you believe it either. Maybe he wanted me to take the job too, but you didn’t stand in his way and you could have. He would have deferred to you.”
I shook my head and attempted a smile. “I don’t know about that.”
“I do. You would have had final say.”
“Technically, you had final say.”
This time I got a laugh. “That’s true. And I said yes. Weird, right?”
“Yeah. A little. I didn’t think you would. You seemed to hate it here.” I glanced at him, just for a moment, wanting to see his reaction as much as I heard it.
“I hate the snow.” His emphasis was lost a little bit with the slurring. “But there’s other things here that I don’t mind so much.” The way he waggled his eyebrows was so exaggerated it was impossible to miss his meaning.
“What made you want to stay?”
I held my breath, the word “you” forming in my head.
“My father.”
That hadn’t been the answer I’d been expecting. “Not sure I’m following you.”
“Since before I can remember, my father’s been pushing me to be great, but his definition of greatness is narrow. There was never any mistaking it, though. Since I was little, I knew that my path in life was to become a surgeon.”
“And you did.”
“Yep. I became a motherfucking awesome surgeon, but it still wasn’t enough for him. I had to be the best of the best, and so I pushed and pushed and I narrowed my field of study, and as soon as I could, I took a position at Westbridge. I’d convinced myself that was the best thing for me, the place with the most opportunity for growth, for advancement.”
“You weren’t wrong. Westbridge would have been an incredible opportunity for any surgeon starting out.”
I could see him nodding out of the corner of my eye. “And for any other surgeon, yeah, it’s amazing. But I’ve always wondered if I were anyone else if I would have been offered the job.”
“I’ve seen you operate. You deserve that job.”
“I dunno. I went to Stanford. I was admitted by the same dean of admissions as my father. I studied under many of the same professors. My attending was a friend of the family. Would I have made it through without him? Would I have become who I am without him?”
“I think so,” I said, trying to assure him, and because it was the truth. “Being a Prescott opened doors for you, but you’re the one who worked your ass off to walk through them. If you didn’t have the skills, if you hadn’t put in the time and sweat and effort, you woulda been kicked out. Nepotism is just as prevalent in medicine as it is in anything else, but I truly believe it only goes so far.”
“I guess we’ll see.” He sighed and shifted in his seat, letting his head fall back against the headrest. “This is the first time I’ve broken out on my own, the first time I’ve accomplished something by my own merit. I know my father won’t see this as a victory, but being successful here will prove to myself that I’m capable without him.”
I reached over and gave his knee a gentle squeeze. “You’ve already proven that.”