Chapter Twenty-Three
“For God’s sake, Connor, calm the fuck down,” Jackson roared.
“I am calm!” Connor growled, waving the hammer. He held it high and then slammed it down on the wooden post. “It’s this fucking post. That. Won’t. Stay. Up!” He punctuated each word with a strike, and the post was now buried halfway into the ground.
“Well, that’s no help at all,” Jesse, one of the Lycans working on the farm with them, said.
Connor bared his teeth and then pointed the hammer at Jesse’s face. “I swear to God—”
“Connor,” Jackson bellowed, then strode over to them, stepping between him and Jesse. “Stop it. Take a break. You’re of no use to me now.”
“I was helping.”
"No, you're not. You're fucking it up, and you're scaring the horses!"
“Fuck you!” He threw the hammer to the ground and started walking away.
“Connor!” Jackson called. “Connor!” His brother grabbed him by the shoulder. Connor shrugged him away, but that didn’t stop Jackson. He put his hand on Connor’s shoulder again and forced him to turn around.
“The only reason you’re not flat on the ground is because I don’t want to set a bad example for your son,” Connor jerked his head toward Austin, who was standing under the shade of a big oak tree with Lily. “Now, let go of me.”
“Connor, what the fuck is going on with you?” Jackson asked. “Ever since Evie left—”
“Shut up! I don’t wanna hear it!”
Connor was being torn into pieces inside. The feral wolf was there, he could feel it. Looking around, he saw the horses, all of them skittish and neighing nervously. They could feel it, too. What he wouldn’t give to just be able to let it out so he wouldn’t have to feel like this anymore.
Evie. She had been his light, his world. And she just left. The pain ripping through him intensified as he remembered that day at the airport. How he wanted to take her back and lock her up in his truck and drive away. But he couldn't. She was about to go and do great things. To live her dream. He couldn't take that away from her. He loved her too much to stop her. It was costing him his control and his sanity, but he would never do that to her.
He thought about leaving, and then asking her to come back to West Virginia, but what would Evie say? What would she do? He couldn’t ask her to give all that up. Not for him and his worthless soul.
“Connor.”
“What?” he hollered, then bit his tongue when he realized it was Lily. “What is it, Momma?”
“That’s the first time you called me that,” she said.
“It is?”
She nodded. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing,” he groused.
“I may have only known you for a little over a week, but I’m still your mother. I know when one of my children is hurting. Now,” she took his hands into hers. “What’s wrong? Why is your wolf acting up like this?”
"It's always like this. I'm broken. My wolf is broken."
“That’s what Evie told me,” Lily said.
“She did?” Of course Evie knew that, he thought bitterly. She sensed it and got the hell away from him.
“Yes. Which is why she wanted you to stay here.”
Blood roared in his ears. "What?"
“She made me promise not to tell you. But I can’t watch you tear yourself apart anymore,” Lily said in a choked voice. “She wanted you to stay because she thought it was the best for you.”
“That’s stupid.”
“She said that you’d never been so happy. She wanted that for you.”
“She didn’t want me to go with her to New York,” Connor said bitterly.
“Because she didn’t want you to be put down,” Lily said, her voice shaking with anger. “Connor, she told me everything. That you wanted the Alpha of New York to put you down once you got this revenge business done. Is it true?”
He didn’t answer, but his silence said it all.
“Goddamnit, Connor, you’re better than that. Stronger than that. You’re my son, and I’m not going to lose you again. Evie loves you so much. She was dying inside, leaving you here, but she did it because she wanted you alive and happy.”
“Momma …” He didn’t know. How could he know? Evie did that? For him?
“Are you happy here, Connor?”
It was the easiest and hardest question to answer at the same time. “I’m happy with her.” It was Evie all along, he knew it. Being with her was what soothed him and his wolf.
“Do you love her?”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Of course I do.”
“Then what the hell are you waiting for?” Lily asked, hands on her hips. Tears shone in her eyes, but her smile was wide. “You go and be with your girl.”
***
Connor drove back to New York like a madman. He promised Lily he'd visit as soon as he could with Evie. She joked that they better come back with a grandchild on the way or she'd have Jackson rescind his invitation. Jackson clapped him on the back and wished him good luck. "Though really, with that handsome face, who would need it?" his brother told him. Even Austin said he was rooting for them to get back together, even if it meant having gross baby cousins.
The drive took him less than five hours as his foot barely left the pedal. Tonight was the first preview of Love and Regrets. He begged Quinn to scalp him a ticket online; he didn’t care what it cost. He was planning to go back to the hotel and freshen up first, but when he hit Manhattan traffic he let out a curse. He was stuck, and there was no time for a shower.
By the time he pulled up to the front of the Nina Haas theater, the show would have been nearing the end. He parked his truck and cut the engine, then hopped out.
“Hey, buddy, you can’t park there!” The Meter Maid screamed at him as he bounded for the front door. “I’m gonna have you towed!”
“Do it; I don’t care,” he shouted as he tore into the lobby of the theater. He reached for the door, but an usher quickly stepped in front of him
“Sir, I can’t let you in there!”
Connor was ready to fight whoever got in his way. He was ready to roar at the usher when he stopped short. She was an older lady—sweet-faced, with white hair, reminding him of a kindly old grandma. "I have a ticket. I need to get in."
"The show's almost over, sir," Sweet Grandma said. "Even if I could let you in, you wouldn't be seeing much. Maybe you can buy another ticket for tomorrow?"
“Please,” he begged. “I need to see her.”
“Connor?”
He turned around. The writers, Jane Collins and Annie Fox, were standing behind him.
“You’re Connor, right? Evie’s Connor?”
He nodded. “Yes. Can I go in, please?”
Annie and Jane looked at each other. Annie spoke first. “C’mon, I’ll do you one better,” she said with a chuckle. “Oh, you crazy kids.”
Annie took his arm and then tugged him to the right side of the lobby. She knocked softly, and the door opened. They walked into a dark tunnel, lit only with floor lights, and they followed it to the end. When they emerged, they were in the backstage area.
There was a flurry of activity all around them. People were running around, bringing props here and there and helping the actors get into costumes and wigs right before they went on stage. Annie brought Connor to the wings where he had a good view of the stage.
His breath caught the moment he saw Evie. She was in the middle of the stage, singing the final number. He thought his heart was going to burst the moment her voice soared over the stage and sounded in his ears. He had never heard anything so beautiful in his entire life.
There was a hush, not just in the audience but backstage, too. Everyone stopped what they were doing as she went through the song, hitting every note perfectly and overwhelming their senses with the pure emotion she displayed.
When she was done, there was a long pause, then applause broke out. It was thundering, the claps and cheers coming from the audience. He saw Selena and Quinn jump to their feet in the front row.
The orchestra began to play, and the cast gathered onstage for the curtain call. The crowd cheered the loudest for Evie, of course, when she took her solo bow. The music wound down and, when the curtain dropped, the cast erupted into shouts and cheers.
Everyone was gathering around Evie, congratulating her. She was smiling, nodding, and thanking the people surrounding her. Connor was content to watch her from the wings, to let her have her moment in the sun. He'd surprise her in the dressing room, maybe.
Just as he was stepping back, Evie's head whipped in his direction. His heart collided with his ribcage as toffee brown eyes crashed into his gaze. She stopped what she was doing and dropped her arms to her sides.
Connor spent most of the drive thinking what he'd do when he finally saw her again. What he would say and do. He played it in his mind. He wanted it go perfectly, so he played out the different scenarios of how he’d say sorry for letting her go.
But he didn’t expect what happened next.
Evie walked toward him, ignoring her castmates. She swung her hips in a seductive manner as she strode in his direction. As she got closer, she reached out her arms. He grabbed her by the waist as she swung herself up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Sliding his hand around her neck, he pulled her closer until their lips met. Around them, people cheered, though they might as well have been invisible. The taste, smell, and feel of her were threatening to overwhelm his senses. He never wanted it to end.
“Connor, you’re here,” she said when they finally pulled apart.
“Of course I am,” he said.
“But … Lily … Jackson … I don’t understand. You were happy there.”
“I was happy with you,” he said. “Evie, I love you.”
A sharp cry tore from her throat. “Connor … I love you, too!” She jumped back in his arms, and he staggered back. Thankfully, he regained his balance before they toppled over.
“You silly woman,” he said, laughing against her mouth. “Why would you think I’d be content without you?”
"I didn't want you to be put down," she said. Tears formed in her eyes. "I …"
"Shh …" He kissed her again. "I won't be. I have too much to live for now."