Chapter Three
Heath woke up the next morning wondering if he had dreamt the events of last night. Was Bella really having his child? Was he really going to be a father in a few months? Yes, he hadn’t been dreaming. The kiss they’d shared had been the real deal. He found himself grinning. It had been an impulsive act, but one that had paid off. Clearly, Bella wasn’t as immune to him as she was acting.
He hated that he’d put her through the ringer. She had been sick and scared for months and dealing with her pregnancy. In a perfect world, Heath would have been there to make her chicken noodle soup and buy her the sickly sweet cereal she liked to eat every morning. Perhaps that particular cereal had been scrapped from her pregnancy diet. It was pretty much junk although Bella had clung to it for years like a favorite blanket.
Bella. Seeing her again made him realize how much he’d been missing her in his life. He missed meeting up for lunch or walking along the beach with his dog, Bingo. There were certain places in Pelican Bay he avoided driving past because they reminded him of Bella. Although a separation had been for the best so Heath could undergo treatment, that knowledge hadn’t eased the ache inside him. He’d missed her every single day for the last five months.
By the time Heath showed up for work at the construction site, he felt as if his head would explode. He was dying to tell someone about the baby, but he didn’t know where to start. Although he had been living with Caleb, he’d moved to his own place a few weeks ago. In simple terms it was a fixer upper. His siblings had been open-mouthed when he’d invited them over to see the place. Caleb, as usual was diplomatic. The youngest Donahue brother, Nash, was optimistic. His sister, Shayla, had been strangely silent. She’d walked around his house with her mouth wide open in shock. The rest of his siblings—Jason, Micah, Parker and Daniel had made a lot of jokes about the house’s state of disrepair. Heath had shrugged off the teasing.
Growing up in a house full of Donahue kids had taught him to shrug it off. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought of his newly purchased house. Heath had bought it in a foreclosure. He, more than anyone else, knew that it needed a lot of TLC. But home construction was his business. He was working for Ralph DeNunzio’s Home Improvement business, and with each and every day, Heath was learning more and more about the craft of home construction. He’d been working for DeNunzio’s since he was a teenager. It had been his part-time after school job in high school. Ralph DeNunzio had promised to hold a full-time job for him while he was in the military. Ralph had made good on his promise. Heath had returned home with a guaranteed job. And even though he had been struggling with PTSD and depression, he was good at it.
With a little time and effort and a small cash infusion, his house would be turned into a beautiful home. A home fit for a wife and child if he had his way. He had a long way to go in order to convince Bella to give him a second chance. He was determined to be patient and win her back. She was right about him withholding things from her—personal things that he’d held close to the vest for so many years. Lee Smalley, his therapist, had told him how important it was to break down his walls. Heath trusted Dr. Smalley. In five short months he had helped him deal with a lot of the things that were tormenting him. But there were still issues to grapple with, particularly the ones he’d kept hidden away for decades.
Heath spent the day working on a new home construction project for Bill and Janie Pearson. They were an older couple who had been devastated when a fire gutted their home. Due to limits in their home insurance, the couple had been in a real bind when it came to affording the rebuild. Enter the townsfolk of Pelican Bay. Funds had been raised through Pelican Bay church and in the local community. Ralph Denunzio had taken on the job, giving the couple a fabulous rate. Heath enjoyed helping to build something from the ground up. Each and every time it astounded him when he saw the final product. Today, it served as a good distraction from the events of last night.
At the end of the work day Heath headed home and stumbled into the bathroom for a hot shower. Even though he was exhausted, he’d agreed to meet his brothers at Caleb’s house for their bi-monthly sibling night.
Before Parker and Caleb got married, they’d tried to do it once a week, but since Parker had a toddler and Caleb was just settling in with his new bistro and being a newlywed, they had all agreed to cut back a little. Truthfully, Heath was relieved. Whenever he got together with his family, he had the feeling he was being placed under a microscope. Everyone was worried about him, which added pressure to an already tense situation.
He couldn’t imagine how they would all react upon hearing the news about Bella and the baby. Parker would understand, since he himself had been in a similar situation. His parents had been shell-shocked when he had stopped by the diner at lunchtime to tell them the news face to face. They had both been supportive and loving. His siblings would be no different. He didn’t think any one of them would judge. It wasn’t the Donahue way, although he knew the life his parents had always wanted for him. And it didn’t include having a baby outside of marriage. Truthfully, it wasn’t what he’d ever envisioned for himself, but he knew that children were blessings. He was excited about all of the possibilities. And he still hoped for a happy ending with Bella. It was still possible.
By seven o’clock he had arrived at Caleb’s home. As was his habit, he let himself in and made his way toward the deck, passing through the kitchen as he did so. Caleb’s wife Addie was in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove. She turned her head at the sound of his approaching footsteps.
Her beautiful face was lit up with a welcoming smile. “Hey, Heath. How’s it going? It’s not often I see you two days in a row.”
“Hey, Addie,” Heath said, reaching out for a hug. With her warm brown skin and twinkling eyes, Addie was a woman who radiated a bright light. She and Caleb were a perfect match. In the past few months, Heath’s relationship with Addie had blossomed. He knew when they’d first met he had been distant and borderline rude. His moods had been all over the place. He hadn’t really been living in the real world. His heart and his mind had been caught up in the past. He’d had to face the fact that he had a tendency towards depression, mainly because of his birth mother’s struggles. Facing up to his past was a work in progress for him. Although he’d been impatient to be cured of his issues, Dr. Smalley had reminded him that he needed to put in the work to make it happen. He hadn’t expected therapy to dredge up so many painful memories.
Heath sniffed the sweet yet savory scent hovering in the air. “What are you cooking?”
“Caleb made some meatballs and my contribution is a new sauce I want to try out at the bistro. I figure if it’s a hit tonight, he’ll give it a thumbs up.”
Heath patted his stomach. “You’ve got my vote.”
Addie’s tinkling laughter filled the kitchen. “You have to try it first. Thanks for the vote of confidence. It’s great seeing you doing so well. I’m proud of you for reaching out for help.”
A few months ago Heath would have been upset about anyone knowing about his therapy sessions with Dr. Smalley. But with each and every day he was moving forward and accepting that there was no shame in getting help. He was much better for it.
He shifted from one foot to another. “I have to admit, I never believed in therapy. I always thought it meant I was weak.”
“No!” Addie exclaimed. “Truthfully, it’s the very opposite. Getting help is showing strength. I hope you know your family is so proud of you.”
Heath grinned. Addie’s kind words meant the world to him. She was such a positive, gentle spirit. In that way, she reminded him of Bella. Sweet, beautiful Bella.
“You better go join the posse. They’re probably wondering where you are,” Addie said, nodding her chin in the direction of the deck.
“Are you heading outside?” he asked.
“No,” she said with a grin. “Cadence got a babysitter, so we’re going to see that new Agatha Christie movie. Ladies night out.”
“Have fun,” he said. It was nice to see his two sisters-in-law getting on so well. They had both been wonderful additions to the Donahue family, just as Bella would have been if things between them had gone in a different direction. Regret pierced his insides. He wondered if he would ever stop kicking himself for being so foolish?
Heath heeded Addie’s advice and headed outside through the sliding glass doors. Once he made his way outside, the raucous sounds of his siblings reached his ears within seconds. They were all gathered around the deck, enjoying the balmy November weather. Florida in Fall allowed for shorts and short-sleeved shirts. It was a far cry from what his Donahue cousins in Breeze Point, Cape Cod experienced. Those guys were probably bundled up in sweaters and cords, he thought with a smile.
“Hey! Heath is here!” his brother Jason cried out. Jason was Parker’s partner in crime. They both worked at Parker’s PI business and Jason had recently become a full partner. Jason had also been adopted at a young age by Jude and Penelope. Heath had a lot of respect for Jason, who had managed to claw his way out of drug addiction a few years ago. Although it was a constant struggle to stay on the straight and narrow path, Jason had shown them all he was dedicated to his sobriety.
By the time he made his way over to the deck, all of his siblings had called out to him in greeting. Clearly, he was the last one to arrive. His sister, Shayla—always super affectionate with her family members—launched herself against his chest and placed a big kiss on his cheek. “Heath! You’re here,” she said, as if surprised by his appearance.
“Don’t sound so surprised. I said that I would be here,” he said, tweaking her nose the same way he’d done when they were kids.
She made a face. “I’m not used to the new and improved Heath Donahue,” she said in a teasing voice. “You were blowing us off for a while there.” Her smile suddenly disappeared. “Seriously, I’m glad you came back to us.”
“Me too,” he said, knowing he wasn’t all the way back. He still had a lot of work to do. But he was ecstatic that the changes were noticeable ones.
“Heath!” His older brother Daniel slapped him on the shoulder. Tall and lean with classic features, Daniel was the most serious of his siblings. At least at first appearance. Owner of a multi-million dollar video game business, Daniel was quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with in the gaming business. At times, Daniel could appear a bit disconnected, as if he wasn’t fully engaged. Although he had been tested as a child for autism, none of the experts thought he suffered from the syndrome. Over time, they had all just come to the realization that this was the way the good Lord had made Daniel. He was the most generous and loyal person in the world. And if at times he zoned out emotionally, he made up for it in many other areas.
Parker reached out and handed him a hard cider. “Good to see you, bro.”
“Good to be here,” he said with a nod.
Caleb called out to him from over at the grill. He was flipping burgers and handing them over to Nash, who was holding a plate. They both had aprons on with roosters emblazoned on them. Heath chuckled to himself. As the youngest brother, Nash was always the one holding the plate or the groceries or the door. Even though Shayla was technically the youngest, she had always been treated as the Donahue princess. By the time she’d been born they had all been in awe of the sweet little baby girl who could wrap them all around her finger in an instant.
Shayla was the jewel in the Donahue crown and he pitied the guy who thought he could step up and win her heart. He’d have to face down seven brothers and one devoted Papa in order to do so.
Heath took a seat next to Jason and took a swig of his cider. He was listening to the conversations around him and all the while his mind kept going back to the huge drama playing out in his life. He kept going around and around it in his mind. I’m going to be somebody’s father! As a man who worshiped the ground his own father walked on, it was daunting.
By the time food was served, Heath had a good grasp on what all of his siblings were up to in their lives. Nash’s photos had been featured in some major magazines like National Geographic, Sports Illustrated and Travel and Leisure. Shayla had been nominated for teacher of the year in Pelican Bay. So much good news was flowing around him. He had been MIA over the past few months, focusing on getting his house in order and seeking treatment. He had purposefully simplified his life so he could make the necessary changes. But he loved being in the thick of things with his siblings. There was nothing quite like being in the presence of people who knew him like no other. Except Bella, he thought. She knew him better at times than he knew himself.
“You’re awfully quiet.” Micah, Heath’s brother, jutted his chin at him. “What’s up with you? Is it Bella?”
Heath winced. Was he that transparent? Perhaps he was wearing his heart on his sleeve about Bella and the baby.
Caleb shook his head at Micah. “Give it a rest, Micah. He’s trying to relax tonight.”
“What?” Micah asked, his expression full of innocence. “I’m just trying to be supportive. To show I care.”
“Otherwise known as being nosy,” Shayla said, jabbing Micah in the side.
“Ouch! You could kill someone with those sharp elbows,” Micah said, causing his siblings to burst into laughter. Micah enjoyed making his siblings laugh and he focused a lot of his energies on that pursuit. As a successful male model, Micah didn’t always enjoy the focus on his looks. Heath knew it sometimes became tiresome when people tended to focus on that aspect of him rather than anything else. Micah kept saying he wanted to settle down with a woman of faith who cared more about his heart than his bone structure.
Heath found himself chuckling at his brother’s humor.
“Hey, I wasn’t trying to pry,” Micah said, shooting him an apologetic look.
“No worries,” Heath said.
He knew Micah was only asking because he cared. For so long, Heath had been out of the loop. He didn’t blame his brother for being concerned about him.
“Seriously though, how are things going Heath? We’ve been walking on eggshells with you. No one wants to ask about your PTSD and how the counseling is going,” Parker said. As the oldest Donahue brother, Parker tended to take control of situations. He was a straight shooter who didn’t hedge on asking questions or stating his opinions. Heath respected all of his brothers, but he admired Parker and Caleb for stepping outside of their respective comfort zones and reaching for their dreams with their significant others. Both were now married to the loves of their lives. Despite major obstacles, Parker had married Cadence and Caleb was now happily married to the lovely Addie.
Things might be so different for him right now if he had been completely transparent with Bella. For a long time, he had hidden his issues from her. To this day, he still had never told her the excruciating details about witnessing his best friend’s death or about being the one to find his mother in her bedroom after she had passed away. Just thinking about it caused a pain to spread across his chest. It was like opening a can of worms. After all this time, it still felt devastating.
“Things are going well, Parker. I appreciate your concern, but like I told you guys last night, I’m moving towards healing. It’s not an overnight process and I still have miles to go on this journey, but…I can work through my down moments. I can get out of bed in the morning. I’m working full-time now. The flashbacks about Vinny’s death have eased up a lot,” he explained.
“That’s really great,” Jason said, putting his arm around him. Shayla wiped away tears with the back of her hand.
“Don’t start with the waterworks,” Micah said with a groan.
“I’m not crying,” Shayla said with trembling lips. “There’s just something in my eye.” That single comment had all of them laughing again. They all knew their baby sister was a big crier. It didn’t take much to bring on the tears.
Heath put his plate down on the table, then cleared his throat. “I do have something important to tell you guys. I’ve already told mom and dad.”
All eyes turned toward him. Since he’d always been a man of few words, he could see the curiosity emanating from their eyes. His tongue felt frozen. Now what? He didn’t even know how to say it. Bella hadn’t told him to keep it under wraps, so he felt free to share the exciting news.
“I don’t quite know how to say this. It’s something I just found out.” He folded his arms across his chest. His heart was racing like a thoroughbred. How would his siblings react to this earth shattering news?
“Go ahead and tell us,” Caleb said, his face creased with tension. “You’re dragging it out.”
“I went to visit Bella last night,” Heath said. “I haven’t seen her for a while now, not since we broke up five months ago. It turns out she’s pregnant with our child.”
A hushed stillness descended upon the group, the type of quiet that was extremely rare in Donahue family circles. Most times, the din was so loud no one could hear themselves think straight.
Heath looked around him. Everyone’s expression radiated shock and awe.
“I know it’s a big surprise,” he blurted out. “But I honestly can’t wait to be a father. It didn’t happen in the right way, but I’m determined to give this child a wonderful life. And so is Bella. I hope we’ll have all of your support.”
All of sudden there was a chorus of congratulations, led by Parker and Caleb. Caleb stood up and came toward him, wrapping him up in a bear hug. Parker followed right behind him. Suddenly, there was the typical Donahue chaos swirling all around him.
“You’re going to love being a father,” Parker said. “Being Logan’s father has changed my whole world.”
Caleb shook his head and laughed. “I can’t believe it. You’re going to be a dad.” His warm brown eyes radiated complete joy.
Heath shoved a hand through his hair. “Tell me about it. It’s just beginning to sink in. I think it’s going to take me a while to process the news. But I’m happy about it. She’s pretty far along,” he admitted, scratching his jaw. “Five and a half months.”
Parker let out a low whistle. “Not too much longer now.”
“Wow!” Jason exclaimed. “It doesn’t give you much time to get used to the idea, does it? But I know you’ll be a great father.”
“That’s for sure,” Nash added. “We had the best dad as an example so you can’t go wrong.”
“Congratulations, Heath,” Daniel said, slapping him on the back. “How’s Bella doing?”
Heath made a face. “She’s had a rough time of it. The first few months were a bit rocky. She had a pregnancy related illness that made her really sick.”
“Is that why she waited so long to tell you?” Shayla asked, her voice sounding sharp.
He nodded. “For the most part, yes.”
Shayla made a tutting sound. “This is so confusing. Didn’t you two break up?”
Heath turned in her direction. He could tell by the expression on her face she was upset. Automatically, he felt defensive. He didn’t know what was bothering Shayla, but he knew he’d detected censure in her tone. That didn’t sit well with him.
“We did. We’re not back together, although I am going to try to patch things up. I made a huge mistake five months ago. I thought she would be better off without me, but we’re better together as a team. I’m still very much in love with her,” he explained. He didn’t take his eyes off Shayla while he spoke. She was making her skepticism apparent.
“Why would she have withheld the pregnancy from you though?” Tension crackled in the air between them. “Didn’t she think you had a right to know? You should be careful moving forward because she might try and keep the baby away from you.”
A shocked silence met her words. Although Shayla had a tendency to say impulsive things, she wasn’t usually hurtful. Tonight she was in rare form.
“Why are you acting like this? You clearly aren’t happy for me,” Heath said, hurt bubbling up inside of him. He needed support tonight, not the third degree from his sister or doomsday scenarios.
“Shayla, take it down a notch,” Micah urged, gently pulling her by the arm. She angrily shook him off.
“A baby is a blessed event, Heath. But I don’t like the way Bella treated you.” He could see she was blinking away tears. “It’s not right.”
“What about the way I treated her?” He spit out the question. “I broke up with her five months ago despite the fact that she was devastated by it. She begged me not to end things, but I had tunnel vision. I was trying to spare her from having to deal with my PTSD and all the things that happened overseas.”
Shayla let out a huff. “You weren’t yourself. You were struggling.”
“You’re right. I was. But I still hurt her. She waited for me while I was overseas. She thought we were going to walk off into the sunset, and instead she got a very different version of me when I came home. I was broken and depressed. I wasn’t functioning. Yet she still wanted to stand by me. Even on the days I struggled to get out of bed, Bella would show up at Caleb’s place with tea and scones and vitamins. She took care of me. But I couldn’t put that huge burden on her because things were continuing to spiral. Against her wishes I ended things. So please, Shayla, don’t blame Bella.”
Shayla began to cry in earnest. It was breaking Heath’s heart. He hated to see his baby sister in tears. “You’ve been through so much, Heath. I just don’t want you to get hurt again. I hated seeing you so down in the dumps. And I never want to see you so lost again.”
Heath reached out and wrapped Shayla up in his arms. He pressed a kiss against her temple. Shayla didn’t have a mean bone in her body. She was simply being protective of him, which was a huge Donahue trait. They always had each other’s backs. She was lashing out at Bella because she was worried about him.
He patted her gently on the back then pulled away. Heath reached down and wiped away tears from her face. “You don’t need to fight my battles, little sister. I’m stronger now and more grounded. I still have work to do, but I’m a better man than I was five months ago. And I’m really excited about being a father.”
“You’re not a better man, Heath, because you were already the best.” She grinned at him. “I am happy for you. And I can’t wait to be an auntie again. I’m sorry for what I said. You know I love Bella.”
“Thanks. I’m happy to hear that,” he said. A feeling of relief swept through him. All he wanted was calm and clarity and to know that his family supported him. When they were kids their parents had always lectured them about a house divided. It had always been stressed to them that they were at their best when they were a united front. United we stand, divided we fall. Although with eight kids it hadn’t been possible to not fuss and fight, they had always known the importance of not allowing those arguments to fester.
“Let’s make a toast to the future,” Daniel said, holding up his can of diet soda. “May Heath’s child be born healthy and happy.”
“And please Lord, let the baby look like Bella,” Jason shouted, raising his glass high.
Laughter rang out amongst the group. Heath threw back his head and laughed right along with his siblings. Everyone raised their cups to the blessing being offered for Heath and Bella’s child. Suddenly, all was right with his world.
As the night came to a close, Micah drew Heath aside.
“I just wanted to let you know I think you’ll be a tremendous father. You’re one of the bravest and most honorable people I know. In case I haven’t said it, we’re all really proud of what you did over in Afghanistan. You’re a hero in our eyes.”
Hero? How many times had he been labeled as a hero? He still didn’t feel like one, especially since Vinny hadn’t made it out of the operation alive. He felt guilty being touted as heroic when so many men and women had died over there. So many families were in mourning because of those losses. It was hard to even view himself in that light. He’d only done what he had been trained to do. And he had survived. Did that make him a hero?
“I appreciate it, Micah, but to be honest, it’s hard to view myself that way,” he admitted. “I keep thinking of Vinny and how his life ended so tragically. He was with us one moment and gone the next. He’s the real hero.”
“Have you been able to get any closure about it?”
“Yes, I have, although I’ve been thinking a lot about going to see Vinny’s family.”
Micah’s eyes widened. “That would be amazing. Difficult, but meaningful for all of you.”
“It would be,” Heath said. “At the moment though my first priority is Bella and our child.”
“You’re going to try to win her back, aren’t you?” Micah asked.
Heath grinned at his brother. “You know me well, don’t you?”
Micah raised his fist and waited for Heath to raise his own. They bumped fists and smiled at each other. “Donahue strong!” they both called out.
As the sky lit up with a dazzling array of twinkling stars, Heath found himself filled with a sense of wonder. Life was truly beautiful. This was the first time in a very long time he’d felt this way. For so long now he had felt weighted down by sadness. He had felt powerless to change things. But now, he felt hope shimmering like a beacon in the distance.