Four and a half years later
“You coming tonight?”
I tossed my bag over my shoulder and looked to my left. Terrance, a fellow baseball player and friend, hollered out from the other side of my truck bed. “AJ’s gonna be there.”
“I know. She told me.” I didn’t answer his question because I wasn’t sure I was up for a party by the lake. The same lake Harley and I used to make out near time and time again. The very same lake where I’d lost my virginity to the girl who broke my heart. She was still someone I thought about often, wondering what I could have said or done differently that could have changed the distance that now lay between us.
“I don’t get it, man.” Terrance leaned over the side of my truck shaking his head. “AJ is a sweet girl, cute as hell, and she has a thing for you. Yet, it’s like you don’t even see her.”
“I see her,” I tell him. How could I not see her? She was always there, at every game, every party. She was sweet and cute; I’d have to be blind not to notice her. It just didn’t feel right, because I knew part of me was still hung up on Harley, and that wasn’t fair to AJ. I’d noticed the way she looked at me, the way she flirted, but every time I thought of moving on, I’d imagine Harley coming back. They say you never forget your first love, but it was hard to imagine I could ever have a second one.
“Rhett, I know Harley leaving—”
He paused when I stepped back and began walking toward the cab of my truck, hoping my dismissal of his nagging was noticeable. I didn’t talk of Harley, and my friends didn’t bring her up; it was just a given. Or it should have been by now. Terrance was the one guy who thought our friendship gave him the fucking free-for-all. He was pushy, and I know he meant well, but I was never good with lectures, from friends or anyone else. I was strong-willed and always had a difficult time when others tried to lead me in a direction I wasn’t sure I was ready to go.
“I’ll see ya later,” I hollered, hoping he’d finally gotten the hint. I didn’t even wait for him to respond before climbing up into my truck and slamming the door.
Whenever I was alone it was always the same—my mind would wander back to the night she told me she was leaving and the weeks that followed. Hell, the year that followed was one of the hardest I’ve ever had.
“So, I got the scholarship to GS.” I stood on the front porch with my acceptance letter still held in my hands, excitement racing through me as the idea that I’d get to hold Harley again soon runs around full force in my mind. “You get your letter yet?”
I was met with silence.
“Harley?”
“I’m not going to Georgia State.”
It was my turn to remain silent. I had to have heard her wrong, because I could have sworn she just told me she wouldn’t be coming back to Georgia like we’d planned. Like we’ve talked about over and over during high school as well as the last year since she’d been gone.
“Berklee has this really amazing dance program.” With each word she spoke, I swear I could hear my heart breaking. “I applied thinking that there was no way I would get in, but I did.”
“Berklee, as in Boston.”
“I know it’ll be hard, but we’ll make it.”
I sarcastically laugh because she had to have lost her damn mind.
“Thousands of miles apart, for the next four years, and you think we’ll be all right. Harley, we barely talk now.” I lean against the railing, no longer feeling like I was on top of the world after getting the letter in the mail. “I think we should just call this what it is.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about us calling this a long-distance relationship when we should just call it an end.” The words made my stomach feel sour.
“It doesn’t have to be the end.”
“It does, Harley,” I take in a shuddering breath, “because pretending it’s not is just too hard. We’ve never been further apart then we are now, and I’m not just referring to the miles between us. We talk a few hours here and there, but that closeness we once shared is gone. I find out about your life through your Facebook more than I do you. We’ve been trying to hold on to this, and I thought once you got back to Georgia things would be okay again, but now you’re not even coming. There’s no point in lying to ourselves about this any longer.”
I shook the memory from my thoughts and turned up the radio to drown it all out. It was always the same, me regretting the decision I made, then getting pissed because there was nothing I could do to change it. She was gone, living her life, and I was here. I should be living mine too.
It was my last year at Georgia State. Holding out for a girl who wasn’t coming back was wasting the life I’d never get a chance to relive.
We’d agreed that the friendship we once had was worth holding on to because we had too many memories between us to pretend they didn’t exist. Those emails and texts that we’d exchanged even though we were no longer together had also begun to fade. We had come to a point where they only seem to be exchanged during a special occasion instead. I wished those would stop too, because when they came it was like a kick to my already wounded heart. They were only a reminder of what we once had.
I pulled into the driveway of my home and placed my truck in park, smiling when I saw Grace sitting on the front porch reading from the Kindle I’d bought for her seventeenth birthday. I swear she did everything she could with that device in her hand. She annoyed the hell out of me at times, but I loved her like crazy, though I’d never admit it because she’d use that shit to her advantage.
She was smart too, book smart but naïve, which always had me on guard. Little shits her age flocked to her; a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl with her head stuck in the clouds was a target for all those horny little fuckers.
I know, because it was only a short time ago I was one of those horny high school boys.
When I climbed out of my truck and began walking in her direction, she looked up from her book. “Dutchess ate another pair of your underwear.”
I stumbled up the stairs, narrowing my eyes at her when I noticed her weak attempt at hiding her smile behind her Kindle. “I told you to keep your damn dog out of my room.”
“And I did,” she declared, sitting up straighter. “She found them in the laundry basket that was sitting outside your door.” She cocked her head and gave me that sassy look she often gave when she thought she had one-upped me. My earlier admittance that she was a good kid was long forgotten, because at this point I wanted to toss her ass in the dirty lake behind our house.
I couldn’t wait until my place was ready. We were converting the huge loft above the barn into an apartment, and times like this reminded me why I’d pushed for the renovations to begin in the first place.
“You’re buying me a package of boxers.”
“Like hell I am.” She pushed up off the chair she was sitting in and placed one hand on her hip. “I don’t care if you’re forced to wear underwear with holes or not.”
“Grace…” I looked toward the door just as Reed, the only father I’ve ever known, stepped outside, giving her a warning look. “Mouth.”
“But Daddy…” I fought the urge to roll my eyes. She was going with the innocent girl look she always used when she was scolded. “I can’t help if Dutchess likes his boxers.”
Dad attempted to hide his own smile, but I saw it clearly. He looked between me and Grace, almost appearing as if he was lost.
“Looks like I’ll be alternating between the three pair I have left.”
“Or you could go without,” Grace announced, moving past both of us toward the front door. “Doug and Skip were talking about that very thing during gym class and apparently—”
“Why the hell are two guys talking to you about not wearing underwear?” I challenged her before our dad could, but I didn’t miss the same questioning look in his eyes. I also didn’t miss the panic in hers when she began to fidget, moving the weight of her body from one foot to the other. “I’m waiting,” I pushed a little more for the answer.
“Me too,” Reed finally added as he crossed his arms over his chest. He and I stood close to the same height; his build was a little larger than my own, but I was gaining on him. My biological father wasn’t a small guy and his genes had been passed on to me—there was no denying that.
“Is that Mom yelling?”
Before either of us could answer she hurried inside, and we both realized a second too late what she’d done.
“You thinking what I’m thinking?” I looked at Reed and saw the gleam in his eyes almost instantly.
“Yep.” I took a step toward the house. “We’re taking her bedroom door off the hinges until she decides to clear this mess up.” I walked away hearing him chuckling behind me as I moved quickly toward Grace’s room.
She knew better than to assume either her father or I would let this slide. If we had things our way, she’d be thirty before she went on her first date; even then, we’d be there too.