I just can’t figure Sako out.

There are times when I catch him in moments of openness with me. Tenderness. Trust. He smiles and I feel it sink deep into my soul. It makes me feel like I’m home.

Then, something happens. I can’t put my finger on what it is I do, and his doubt about me comes back.

Not that I can blame him for that. My history is apparently pretty bad, although I’m pretty sure they haven’t told me everything.

All I can do is exactly what I’m doing now — try to figure out the missing pieces of my memory and help them get some answers about what this organization is planning. Finding out that Sako is my fated mate changes a whole lot for me. I can’t imagine what would change my mind at this point to go back to whatever it was I did before.

“You’re thinking about something pretty hard,” Sako’s voice cuts through my thoughts. He flops next to me on the couch and props his feet up on the coffee table.

“Just trying to fill in these huge holes in my memory.” I mute the video and drop the remote on the cushion between us. I wasn’t watching the movie anyway.

“Don’t give yourself a headache about it. Varos did some reading about your type of amnesia. He says the best thing that you can do is just let it happen naturally.” Sako stretches his body out. I can’t help myself but to get a good look when his t-shirt rides up his body to expose the hard planes of his abdomen and part of the eagle tattoo that covers his entire chest.

When I drag my gaze up his muscular legs and completely ripped body, our eyes meet and he grins at me. Busted.

With a laugh, he bumps my knee with his. “It’s cool, Carlo. You’re pretty sweet to look at, too.”

My face heats in embarrassment and my mouth goes dry in silence.

It’s a comfortable place to be. Sako is someone I could really share my life with if I’m given the chance.

But will I?

Leaving Sako’s desire for me or not aside, something else has been plaguing my thoughts of late.

At first, I thought that maybe I’d been forgotten by the people who I knew in this secret organization. That…maybe they didn’t miss me. What if I was just some low-level ‘soldier,’ just a grunt who followed orders, not give them?

Just like the deaths of my friends, who’s to say that they have just written me off as a loss?

The other part of me tries to look at it a little more logically. If this group of people is small, then they can’t afford to lose anyone.

“Sako,” I start cautiously. I’m not sure how to broach the topic of my biggest fear. I feel like I need to say something. To state the obvious, even if it’s only obvious to me. “I worry that my being here is putting you and the guys in danger.”

Sako’s eyes are closed. When he doesn’t answer for a long time, it occurs to me that maybe he’s asleep. “It’s a possibility,” he finally says, opening his eyes. “We don’t know who you are to them or how valuable you may be.”

I smooth at the seam of my jeans. “Do you think I should say something to Taran? I don’t want to be a liability to any of you.”

“Taran has already considered all of this. He says it’s a concern but an acceptable risk at the moment. We just don’t have enough information to go on and he’s reluctant to make any decisions on what to do until we know more. That’s why we are trying to help you figure things out.” Sako’s hand comes to rest on my thigh. Warmth seeps through the denim. “So you focus on that. Let us worry about the rest. We won’t let you put us at a big risk, but we all are willing to wait it out and see what happens.”

“I wish I knew more about who I am. I feel adrift in this murky world of half shadows.” I slump to match his posture on the couch.

“You know,” Sako says after a beat, “maybe think about this as a chance to start over. Whatever trajectory your life was on before this happened, it’s been interrupted. Maybe that’s a sign from the universe that you need to do something different.”

“Like what? How can I change the path of my life if I don’t know what it was before?”

“I don’t have an answer. Figure out new dreams, Carlo. Now is the perfect time to do that.”

Sounds so easy. Just come up with new dreams.

Maybe it is that easy. I don’t have the baggage of failure hanging over my head. If I can’t remember what I wanted to do before I was found, maybe that really is a sign that I need to change.

“Gods, enough philosophical musing for one night.” Sako rocks to his feet. “Are you watching this?”

I hand him the remote. “Nope, it was just on.”

“You sound like my dad. He never cared what was on and let my mother control the remote.” He pulls up the movie streaming site and starts sorting through, looking for something to watch.

“I’m like your dad. Having something on in the background helps me shut out the loud paranoid thoughts in my head.”

Sako perches on the edge of the couch, arm still extended as he scrolls through the movies and shows he has saved. “What about you?” He looks over at me. “You still have some memory of them, right?”

“Yeah. Neither of my parents had much time for watching vids. They were too busy with their social life. It was always about the latest party, seeing people and being seen by people.” I stretch out and rest my head on the couch arm. With my knees bent, Sako has room to sit back. “I had to dress in the right clothes, talk about all the right things, be seen with all the right kids.”

Sako wrinkles his nose. “Sounds like hell.”

“Rich people problems, right? I hated it. I was never able to be who I was. It had to be who my parents wanted me to be.”

“You booked it?”

I laugh. “Just as soon as I could. It was so oppressive at home that maybe I got a little carried away living exactly opposite of how I lived before. Fell in with a rough crowd, had no idea what I was doing but I learned fast. And felt freer than I ever had before.”

“Talk about opposites.” Sako finds something he wants to watch and clicks play. “I never had money. Grew up not dirt ass poor but damn close to it. My mom found all sorts of creative shit for me to do to keep me and my sister from getting bored. I guess that’s what pisses me off so much about this organization you were mixed up in, Carlo. Those people really don’t know what they’re talking about.”

I sit up a bit so I can see Sako. He glances at me, lips pressed into a line like he’s thinking about something before he continues.

“Not all mythical shifters are rich like your friends claim. Just because shifters like dragons are rumored to have big fortunes, doesn’t mean they do. Or that they’re even immune to being swindled and ripped off and losing it due to bad decisions.”

Sako’s not looking at me while he’s talking, which is weird. Usually he has no problem meeting my eyes. “That’s why they’re so secretive. They close ranks and try to stay as secretive as possible. They’re tired of being taken advantage of. Or…they’re just pure ass poor and really don’t want to advertise the fact.”

A whole lot of things Sako has talked about since I met him finally clicks into place. He’s a dragon. Wow, I don’t know why I didn’t put that together before now. It makes total sense why he’s so vehement about the group being wrong about mythical dragons.

He’s a dragon shifter.

I knew he was a shifter but I stupidly thought he was another more commonly known shifter.

My fated mate is a dragon. That’s going to take some getting used to.

“I feel like an asshole, Sako,” I confess quietly to him. “I had no idea about any of that. I just bought into the lies being fed to me and I didn’t think to question what I was being told. I don’t know what to do to make up for that. I feel like I need to do something to…”

Sako grabs my ankle and pulls me to stretch out on the couch, then crawls over me to pin me down. “Don’t you get it, Carlo? That’s what you’re doing now by helping us figure out what they’re up to. I know it’s a lot of pressure to get your memory back and we’re all trying to be patient. But that you’re willing to try means a lot.”

My hands slide along his sides to come to rest at the small of his back. His skin is soft and warm beneath my fingertips. “I guess I’m just bummed that I am that guy, you know?”

He rests completely on top of me, cradling my head in his hands. He’s so close our noses bump. If he keeps being affectionate like this? I could get used to it. “You’re not that guy,” he says softly, his lips brushing against mine.

I chase his mouth so I can get a kiss. Sako playfully stays out of reach, avoiding me until the last minute, then slips his tongue along my lower lip before pulling away again.

Out of nowhere, my mind hooks on an image. Something familiar and close. No, someone familiar. A person. I know I can see them and they’re someone known to me but I can’t place them. I squeeze my eyes shut, chasing the image as it fleetingly flutters away.

Sako grows still and quiet. There’s concern on his face when my eyes open again. “Check in with me, Carlo.”

“It’s fine. I just…for a minute I thought of someone I knew. Or thought I knew. I…can’t be sure.”

“You were thinking about someone else while kissing me?” Sako’s tone is light and joking but it’s clear that he’s taking it seriously.

I buffet him on the shoulder gently. “No I wasn’t thinking of someone. Not deliberately.”

“Do you remember them?”

“No. I can’t even say I got a good look at their face. But it was someone I know.” I blow out a breath to move my bangs off my forehead.

“Well,” Sako kisses me tenderly again. “Maybe I can kiss it into your memory again.”

I give him a skeptical look. “I don’t think it works that way.”

“Never know until we try.”