This was the weirdest day ever, Ruari decided. Ever since he found out he was pregnant, his life had been filled to the brim with stress. First, there had been pure panic when he’d tested positive, knowing what his father's reaction would be like. Then he’d gone through a few weeks of coming up with every imaginable plan to keep himself safe. After that, once he’d made his escape, he’d worried about making sure the baby was okay, about eating enough, getting his vitamins in. Then there had been the delivery, which thankfully, had gone easy. But man, once Jax had been born, a whole new level of stress had arrived. No, it was safe to say that he’d never had as much stress in his life as the last nine months.

But today, today was about as relaxed as he’d ever been. Jax was sleeping in the cutest little crib, right next to another gorgeous baby. Ruari had been introduced to Vieno, who turned out to be a lovely person who had apologized profusely for not being there that morning. He explained he was struggling with depression after giving birth and often felt the most blue and down early in the morning. Ruari understood now why Sven took care of baby Hakon so much, and he was grateful that Vieno had someone to help him.

They had hung out the entire morning, Sven disappearing for a while when Grayson came to get him, which promptly resulted in the undeniable sounds of sex drifting in. Vieno shrugged, not even looking embarrassed. 

“I think they had a fight yesterday, those three,” he said. “They were all tense this morning, and Sven didn’t get his morning fuck, so I’m glad to see them make up.”

Ruari wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but he asked anyway. “Morning fuck? You’re saying it like it’s a routine.”

“Oh, it is, trust me. They have one every day, about mid-morning. That’s when Grayson comes up for air after writing for a bit and needs to blow off steam, and trust me, Sven is more than happy to accommodate him. It usually doesn’t last long.”

“Huh,” Ruari said, strangely fascinated. 

“Those three thrive on things like that. They start every day with bathroom sex for Grayson and Sven, usually Sven blowing him, and then after, Lars gets his spanking. They eat breakfast in the main kitchen, but they always lunch together in their room, which often results in more sex. Then when Lars is done with work, he and Grayson will take a shower, followed by either more sex or a spanking if Lars has misbehaved.”

Ruari couldn’t help but snicker at the casual way in which Vieno delivered this news. He brought it like facts, describing the rituals as if they were completely innocent. And they were, Ruari thought. Others tended to blow daddy kink like this completely out of proportion, but while it wasn’t his particular type of kink, he had no issues with it.

“Never a dull moment here, I see,” he commented.

Vieno grinned. “You’d better get used to it if you want to stay here,” he said. “We’re pretty open about our sexual activities, but I’m sure you’ve discovered this by now. Someone must have told you.”

“Yeah, Kean was clear in his warnings to stay out of the main house at certain times,” Ruari laughed.

Vieno’s laugh sobered. “Yeah, he’s right. He was, anyway.”

Ruari guessed it had something to do with Vieno’s depression, but since he barely knew the man, he was hesitant to ask. He was saved when Sven returned, his usually pale cheeks blushed, and judging by the slight hesitation as he sat down, his ass had been well used. Good for him. It was easy to see how much Grayson loved him.

Sven made them lunch, joining them. It appeared Grayson and Lars were taking a nap together. No wonder, after the rather loud noises they’d overheard from those two. Make-up sex, Vieno had mouthed to Ruari, and they had giggled. Ruari loved getting to know these two omegas better, and it turned out they had more than enough to talk about. 

“Vieno always takes a nap in the afternoon, while I watch Hakon,” Sven said when he’d cleared the remnants of their lunch. “If you would like some time to yourself, I’m happy to watch Jax as well. I’ll be staying right here where I can hear them, and if you want to, you can leave his bottle and everything with me so I can feed him. I’m not sure if you feed on demand or have a schedule?”

Ruari could have kissed him. It was one of the first times anyone had ever offered to help him, aside from Kean, and where he had his reservations earlier that morning, by now he trusted Sven to take care of Jax. 

“He’s on a four-hour schedule, and since I just fed him, he should be good for a while. He usually sleeps for at least two, three hours in the afternoon. If you could watch him for me, that would be amazing. I can’t remember the last time I had some time to myself.”

Sven’s smile split open his entire face, and it was easy to see the omega was pleased to do something for Ruari. “You’re so welcome. I'm happy I get to help you out. I love babies, I’ve discovered since Hakon was born.”

There was something more in his eyes, something that told Ruari the man wanted one of his own, but he didn’t say anything. They had time to get to the more personal conversations.

Vieno yawned and stretched his arms above his head. “Yeah, it’s time for me to catch some sleep. Why don’t you go outside and see if you can find that beta who was drooling over you in the kitchen this morning, from what I’ve heard?” he said to Ruari.

Ruari’s eyes widened, and he felt his cheeks grow warm. “Who told you that?”

Sven giggled. “I did. Watching the two of you make lovey-dovey eyes at each other was the most fun I’ve had in weeks. You can’t tell me you weren't aware.”

Ruari’s blush grew deeper. He tried to feign indifference and shrugged. “He’s nice.”

That resulted in chuckles from the other two. “He’s not nice, honey. He’s hot, and I’m allowed to say it because he’s the spitting image of his brother,” Vieno said. Then his face sobered as he added, “He’s a good man, Ruari, I’m telling you. Those two brothers, there are something special. I’ve never met anyone as strong as Palani, but Kean is a close second. They’re like a rock you can lean on, a safe harbor in the storm. I’ve leaned hard on Palani over the last years, and he’s never let me down. And Kean, he’s the same.”

It was touching, this heartfelt tribute to the two brothers, Ruari thought. He could see what Vieno meant about them being alike, because even in the few minutes when he'd met Palani that morning, he had liked him instantly, much like Kean. Still, not only was it premature to even talk about something more with Kean considering he had no indication that the beta was serious about pursuing him, but there was always the impossible complication of his family, his father specifically. Still, those were not concerns he could share with these two. Or anyone else, for that matter.

“I’m sure I can find something to entertain myself with,” he said with a cheeky smile, leaving the option open he would seek Kean out.

That’s how he found himself wandering outside, alone for the first time since Jax had been born. It was a strange sensation, one that would take getting used to, he decided. His chest felt empty without the sling he always used to carry Jax, and it was hard to relax instead of being constantly aware of his child.

But outside, the sun shone and he lifted his face to catch some extra rays. As he walked around, the ranch impressed him all over again in its size, but even more in its depth. Kean had mentioned the goal was to become self-sufficient, and while Ruari was no expert, he could see they were making great strides toward that. 

Again, it was more than the sum of the buildings, or the fields, or the animals and the men working there that made the ranch such a vibrant place. It was something that hung in the air, something that was hard to describe but that made Ruari’s heart feel at peace. Home. His mind settled once again on the same word he decided on earlier. The ranch felt like home, impossible as that was.

Without realizing it, he found himself looking for Kean when he hit the area where the animals were. He didn’t see him, but he did run into Lars, who sported a happy grin as he carried a large crate with what looked to be fresh vegetables.

“He’s in the main house,” Lars said, “Dropping off the fresh eggs and vegetables I harvested.” 

Ruari couldn’t help but smile at the cheeky grin on the beta’s face. Had everyone noticed the attraction between him and Kean? Because that wasn’t awkward at all. Sigh.

“Thank you,” he said, deciding that denying it was useless when everyone knew.

He made his way back to the main house, not sure if he should seek Kean out, considering what he knew about the harsh reality of their situation and the impossibility of anything more between them. But it was like his legs had a mind of their own—or his heart, he wasn’t sure—and he found himself at the door to the main house before he realized it.

He ran into Kean in the hallway, his sun-kissed face lighting up when he spotted Ruari. It did something to him, this unashamed joy Kean showed. It had been a long time since anyone had shown such happiness at simply being in his presence. His parents had lost any pride in him a long time ago, even before he’d gotten pregnant. To see someone react to him this strongly made his heart sing.

“Hi,” he said, then mentally cursed himself for his lackluster greeting.

“Hey you,” Kean said. “Where is Jax?”

Oh man, if Ruari hadn’t already liked him, that immediate concern for his son would seal the deal. “He’s sleeping. Sven is babysitting, so I have a little time to myself.”

That made Kean smile even wider. “That is awesome,” he said. “Sven is a true sweetheart, and he’s great with babies.”

It was sweet, this repeated reassurance Kean gave him that he made the right decision to let Sven watch his kid. “I’ve seen him with Hakon, and the fact that Vieno trusts him means a lot as well.”

Kean hesitated for a second, then asked, “Can I interest you in a little walk? Like, just on the ranch property?”

Ruari suppressed a smile. Kean was being so sweet, but he couldn’t resist teasing him a little. “You want to give me another tour?”

A faint blush stained the beta’s cheeks as he dragged a hand through his short hair and shifted his feet. “Right, erm, you want to do something else?”

“I’m teasing you, Kean. I’d love to go outside with you,” Ruari said quickly. He didn’t want Kean to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed in any way.

“Oh, okay. Awesome.”

Kean held the door open for Ruari and they stepped back into the sunlight. “I haven’t had time for myself in a long time,” Ruari admitted. “Not since Jax was born.”

Kean shot him a quick look sideways. “Would you rather spend it alone?” he asked. “Because you want the opportunity to just be by yourself?”

He was saying all the right things, and Ruari was losing the battle with himself over why this was such a bad idea. “No, but that’s sweet of you to say. I’d love to spend time with you,” he said, and the radiant smile on Kean’s face crumbled his last resolve.

Kean liked him, Ruari had no doubt, and the feeling was mutual. He couldn’t explain it, but he had this instant trust in this man. He was kind, gentle, and yet there was a core of steel in him, somehow. Ruari hesitated for a bit, then decided to take a little jump. He reached out his hand and bumped it against Kean’s, whose head shot to the side. Once the beta realized it wasn’t an accident, his bigger hand took Ruari's and laced their fingers together. Ruari's stomach exploded with butterflies. It was such an innocent gesture, and yet it meant so much.

They didn’t say much as they left the buildings behind and walked all the way to the far fields, where Lars was still working, greeting them with a quick raise of his hand before he turned his attention back to the soil he was toiling.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Kean said. He tugged at Ruari's hand until they both stood still, facing each other. “As I told you, omegas are protected within the pack. That means anyone wanting to date an omega has to have permission from Palani. I asked him for permission to pursue you, and he granted it.”

Ruari smiled. “Did he now?” he asked.

Some of the tension on Kean’s face disappeared, which proved the beta was adept at reading Ruari's body language. 

“He did,” Kean said. “But I don’t have your permission yet.”

Ruari’s smile sobered, and he pulled his hand from Kean’s, causing the beta to look worried. “I really like you, Kean, and I would love to give you permission, but there are things you need to know about me.”

He bit his lip, trying to figure out what to say and how much to tell Kean. He deserved to know what he was getting into, but how could Ruari inform him without endangering him as well? If his father ever found out, Kean’s life might be at stake, because the man didn’t joke around.

“Ruari, sweetheart, you can tell me as much or as little as you want to, but I can guarantee you, it won’t change my mind about you. If you’re not ready to talk about whatever is bothering you, or whatever worries you have about us together, then take your time. I’m not going anywhere. I wanted to tell you how I feel and ask your permission to at least spend time with you.”

It almost wasn’t fair, the way Kean managed to break through his usual defenses. Ruari knew he was good-looking, attractive. He’d always been, and as a result, he’d encountered a lot of admirers, both alphas and betas. He was used to men approaching him, some super slick, some a little more clumsy, some offensive and sexual. He'd gotten skilled in handling those advances with snarky retorts, but this simple, honest way Kean approached him stripped him of all his usual words. 

What did you say to someone who put himself out there in such a simple but straightforward way? Kean wasn’t playing any games, didn’t have an ulterior agenda. He wanted to tell Ruari how he felt and ask him for permission to pursue him. How the hell did you say no to that?

“You heard about my past in the clinic,” he said. “And if you read between the lines, you understood that I am in a complicated situation with my family. I don’t know how to explain it to you in a way that won’t put you at risk, but my family is dangerous. I shouldn’t be in a relationship, Kean. It’s not safe, not for me but especially not for the man I would be involved with. And I can’t in good conscience start something with you without you knowing. I come with a warning label, or at least, I should.”

He almost held his breath, waiting for Kean’s reaction. The beta took both his hands, then pressed a kiss to one hand, then the other, a gesture that seemed from ages ago yet left Ruari trembling. 

“Thank you for telling me. I figured something was going on with your family, like you said. I respect that you can’t tell me more, but I hope you will once we get to know each other better. Because this is not a deterrent for me, Ruari. I can’t explain it, but I want to get to know you, would love to get the chance to be there for you, maybe take care of you a little. If that’s what you want.”

Ruari looked into Kean’s blue eyes, so steady and calm, and he had no trouble imagining a future with this man. That was crazy since they barely knew each other, but it was like his soul recognized Kean’s on a level he couldn’t put into words. 

“Okay,” he said, capitulating to the inevitable. “Let’s get to know each other better.”

The smile on Kean’s face shone brighter than a lit Christmas tree, and Ruari smiled right back. “You’re gorgeous when you smile,” he told Kean.

“You’re gorgeous even when you don’t,” Kean said, and they both grinned like high school students.

“I have one more thing to tell you,” Kean said. “Because it will come up at some point, and I’d rather have you hear it from me directly.”

Ruari frowned, wondering what Kean was talking about. It sounded rather ominous. What did the man have, a mistress on the side somewhere? A child with someone else? He almost laughed at his own thoughts, as they seemed ridiculous for a man of Kean’s character. No, it had to be something innocent, something that the beta just wanted to get off his chest but that didn’t mean anything.

“I was seeing someone else in the pack, but I broke things off this morning and told him I wanted to pursue you.”

Ruari’s frown intensified. This was not what he had been expecting, and he didn’t like the sound of it at all. Kean had dumped another omega for him? That sounded like he was a player, and while that didn’t fit what Ruari had learned about him so far, it was hard to come to another conclusion.

“Who was it?” he asked.

Kean shuffled his feet. “Bray, the head of security. It was all super casual,” he quickly added. “Just hooking up. We didn’t even tell anyone, but people knew, so I wanted you to be aware in case someone brings it up. But I talked to Bray this morning and made it clear that I was ending our…arrangement, I guess you could call it.”

An alpha. Kean was breaking up with an alpha for him. That changed things. “How did he react?” Ruari asked.

Kean looked a little embarrassed. “He didn’t take it too well, but that might also be because we got into a little argument, and I provided some critical feedback on his character that he wasn’t too happy about. He was the one who wanted to keep things casual. He doesn’t want a family, or at least not now.” His shoulders dropped, and something profoundly sad flashed over his face.

“It wasn’t casual for you,” Ruari said, understanding the situation. It should’ve hurt, discovering that Kean had feelings for someone else as well, but it didn’t. If anything, it proved to Ruari the man was serious about relationships and not only looking for hook ups.

“He hurt me,” Kean admitted. “He is a very traditional alpha, I guess you could say. He’s a good guy at the core, he really is, but he has rather old-fashioned ideas about relationships and dynamics. He pictures himself with an omega, so nothing I could ever do would make me enough for him. And I got tired of trying to be enough, you know?”

Ruari did understand. He understood perfectly, but he still had to ask. “Where do I come in?” he asked softly. “Am I second choice? A rebound?”

Kean looked pained. “No, and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I think it was more that meeting you made me realize that I wanted more from him than he would be ever able to give me. I want a family, Ruari, so very much. And that doesn’t mean I’m only interested in you because of Jax, which Bray was maybe thinking. He’s rather hung up on the fact that betas can’t have kids. As if adoption wouldn’t have been an option, or even a surrogate. I really like you, and I want to see if what we have is strong enough to last. God, I hope I’m explaining this right and not turning you off of me,” he said, grimacing.

So much went on in Ruari's head and heart that it was difficult to find the words. Kean’s pain was clear, but so was his honesty, and Ruari swore he’d never had a proposal quite that brutally honest. Kean wasn’t playing games, wasn’t trying to paint himself in a more flattering picture, wasn’t even bothering to come up with excuses. He had just laid it out there, his whole, vulnerable truth. The contrast with his family who had made lying into the golden standard and who wouldn’t know the truth if it hit them in the face was so big that Ruari couldn’t even describe it.

He discovered they were still holding hands, a fact he’d forgotten about until now. So he pulled Kean’s hand until the beta got the message and stepped closer. Then Ruari lifted his head, offering himself in a gesture that left little room for interpretation, he figured. 

Kean’s eyes widened in shock before he cupped Ruari's head and brought his mouth in for the sweetest of kisses. His lips were so soft, exploring, not putting any pressure on Ruari whatsoever. But Ruari opened up, wanting more of this man who had been hurt in a way that made him want to find that alpha and beat the crap out of him. Not that he ever could, but the thought was nice.

He stepped closer to Kean, letting go of his hand and wrapping both his arms around the beta’s waist. Kean responded by pulling him closer, and as their bodies discovered how well they fit together, their tongues did the same, chasing and meeting with a growing intensity. It might have started out as a sweet kiss, but it grew hard and deep, until Ruari’s neck hurt with the effort of straining his head. He reluctantly pulled back and Kean let him go immediately.

“Wow,” Kean said, and for some reason, that took away the last of Ruari’s worries and objections.

“Wow indeed,” he confirmed.

They smiled at each other, and Ruari was happy to see the sadness gone from Kean’s face.

“Want to go inside?” Kean asked. “I could use a cold drink right now.”

“I could use a cold shower,” Ruari said, and the look on Kean’s face was priceless.

When they walked into the kitchen, an alpha stood at the sink, washing his hands. Man, he was huge, Ruari thought. He could only see him from the back, but his upper body was built like a wall. It reminded him a little of the alpha from the club. Then the alpha turned around, and the bottom dropped out from under Ruari’s feet.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, the alpha as much in shock as he, but Ruari recovered first. “What the hell are you doing here?” he gasped.